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Revelations of a Single Woman: Loving the Life I Didn't Expect Paperback – January 1, 2006

4.6 out of 5 stars 43 customer reviews

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Product Details

  • Paperback: 240 pages
  • Publisher: Tyndale Momentum (January 1, 2006)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1414303084
  • ISBN-13: 978-1414303086
  • Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 8.2 x 8.2 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 11.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (43 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #682,330 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Connally Gilliam earned a master's of teaching (English) from the University of Virginia and has taught high school and college writing. She now works for Navigators as a life coach for twentysomethings in the Washington, D.C., metro area. She loves sharing coffee with friends and discovering how God is real, even in a crazy, changing, and unintentionally single world.

Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

Format: Paperback
This book blew me away. It is fabulous. It is the kind of book for singles that I have thought doesn't exist. Let me confess: I hated being single two years ago, even tho I am really happy about it right now. It just felt so unfair. So I thought "You need a Christian self-help book for singles, that will fix it". And oh what a great choice we have. There is Michelle McKinney-Hammond, whose books on the topic did virtually NOTHING for me. Her writing, it is ALL about *preparing* and waiting for that perfect God-blessed relationship. Sorry, but I don't even KNOW whether God has that planned for me, so why would I spend so much time *getting ready for Mr Right?*. Then there is Nancy Leigh Demoss. Her apporach is far more true to God's word and actually considers the concept and joys of life-long singleness. Or at least a life that doesn't center on waiting for God-sent Prince Charming. I liked that. Because it destroyed the myth that only a life spent in a relationship is a life worth living. BUT....what I am missing in this type of book is my down-to-earth everyday life as as single and how I sometimes *coughs*euphemism*coughs* struggle with it. You know...finding out that even God-trusting singles of the kind that strive to please God have to come to terms with certain things. And Gilliams's book addresses all that in a way that I -a woman who is in her mid-20s in 2006 and was raised in a non-Chritian household in a pleasure-obsessed world- can relate to. Chapters like "I Just Gotta Be Queen", "Not Getting It" (and yes, she means *it*) and "So, Why aren't you married?" give an idea. This is no dreamy Christian-Women-have-no-physical-and-emotional-desires-and-naturally-bloom-in-volunteer-work type of book.Read more ›
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Format: Paperback
REVELATIONS OF A SINGLE WOMAN

Loving the Life I Didn't Expect

By Connally Gilliam

Why would a happily married (for 33 years) father of three and grandfather of four read a book with a title like this? For one thing I have a single daughter, and I wanted to understand it better before passing it on to her. Most importantly, however, this is a book about unfulfilled expectations, and everyone has to deal with that sooner or later. The subtitle "Loving the life I didn't expect" should have tipped me off, but I was 80% of the way through the book before it hit me that this is really a book about unfulfilled expectations.

Victor, Frankl, who survived a Nazi concentration camp, said that the ultimate freedom is the freedom to choose one's attitude. Connally Gilliam has learned this through unintended singleness. She never expected to still be unmarried in her late thirties, but that is how it turned out, and she deals with it by exercising this ultimate freedom to choose her attitude. She writes movingly of how she has discovered that the real source of joy is not to be found in a relationship with another human being but rather in a relationship with the triune God. She writes:

"I say this now with greater clarity and conviction than I did a few years ago. It has taken me a while to get this `source of joy' thing straight. The struggle is probably half of what this book is about. And even now, I must be reminded of what's true in a myriad of ways from a myriad of sources....at the risk of sounding like a clichéd bumper sticker, I'm just going to say it. There's one true, if mysterious, source of inexpressible and glorious joy: the triune God - Father, Son and Holy Spirit - a.k.a the Joy Maker.
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Format: Paperback
When Connally Gilliam asked me to review her book, Revelations of a Single Woman: Loving the Life I Didn't Expect (Tyndale, 2006), I considered it a good way to get to know Connally. I have appreciated her posts on this site, especially the one entitled, "The Jealousy of God." And I thought we had a lot in common: English majors who grew up in Virginia, serving in parachurch ministry, similar age, and single and loving our lives.

Where I hesitated internally-and I didn't tell Connally this-is the subject matter. I don't care for books about being single. There are so many thoughtful books waiting on my bedside table that a singleness book is not a priority. (Not to say there aren't thoughtful books about singleness.) But usually they end up as commands to be content, instructions on keeping clear sexual boundaries or how to's in using this season of "freedom" to serve God.

Thankfully, Connally's book is not centered on these topics. Instead, it is about a wise woman's experiences with her God, with her friends (male, female, married, single), and with her self. Connallly asks all the questions I've asked myself: How do I live with the fragmentation and isolation of today's world? What does it look like to have life-giving relationships with my family, my friends, my community? How much of myself do I give to my career? Is full satisfaction available this side of heaven? What do I think a man should be/do/stand for?

And Connally's voice is clear and strong, a real tribute to a first-time author. Her personality jumps off the pages; she is honest in her longings, true to her faith story, and welcoming in the conversation. Plus, she's downright funny! She introduces the reader to tens of her friends' and their experiences and thoughts. I liked that.
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