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Revelations of a Single Woman: Loving the Life I Didn't Expect Paperback – January 1, 2006
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Loving the Life I Didn't Expect
By Connally Gilliam
Why would a happily married (for 33 years) father of three and grandfather of four read a book with a title like this? For one thing I have a single daughter, and I wanted to understand it better before passing it on to her. Most importantly, however, this is a book about unfulfilled expectations, and everyone has to deal with that sooner or later. The subtitle "Loving the life I didn't expect" should have tipped me off, but I was 80% of the way through the book before it hit me that this is really a book about unfulfilled expectations.
Victor, Frankl, who survived a Nazi concentration camp, said that the ultimate freedom is the freedom to choose one's attitude. Connally Gilliam has learned this through unintended singleness. She never expected to still be unmarried in her late thirties, but that is how it turned out, and she deals with it by exercising this ultimate freedom to choose her attitude. She writes movingly of how she has discovered that the real source of joy is not to be found in a relationship with another human being but rather in a relationship with the triune God. She writes:
"I say this now with greater clarity and conviction than I did a few years ago. It has taken me a while to get this `source of joy' thing straight. The struggle is probably half of what this book is about. And even now, I must be reminded of what's true in a myriad of ways from a myriad of sources....at the risk of sounding like a clichéd bumper sticker, I'm just going to say it. There's one true, if mysterious, source of inexpressible and glorious joy: the triune God - Father, Son and Holy Spirit - a.k.a the Joy Maker.Read more ›
Where I hesitated internally-and I didn't tell Connally this-is the subject matter. I don't care for books about being single. There are so many thoughtful books waiting on my bedside table that a singleness book is not a priority. (Not to say there aren't thoughtful books about singleness.) But usually they end up as commands to be content, instructions on keeping clear sexual boundaries or how to's in using this season of "freedom" to serve God.
Thankfully, Connally's book is not centered on these topics. Instead, it is about a wise woman's experiences with her God, with her friends (male, female, married, single), and with her self. Connallly asks all the questions I've asked myself: How do I live with the fragmentation and isolation of today's world? What does it look like to have life-giving relationships with my family, my friends, my community? How much of myself do I give to my career? Is full satisfaction available this side of heaven? What do I think a man should be/do/stand for?
And Connally's voice is clear and strong, a real tribute to a first-time author. Her personality jumps off the pages; she is honest in her longings, true to her faith story, and welcoming in the conversation. Plus, she's downright funny! She introduces the reader to tens of her friends' and their experiences and thoughts. I liked that.Read more ›
Most Recent Customer Reviews
I cannot recommend this book highly enough! It is an easy read, hilarious, and void of the "fluff," pity, or trite promises that are found in so many of those "how to... Read morePublished 8 months ago by Courtney
The book was an easy and delightful read. It was easy to relate to the author's experiences with all the challenges of single life, yet still find the blessedness in being single.Published 20 months ago by Donna - Orlando. FL
She made me laugh, she made me cry: Connally Gilliam captures the understanding of what it means to be a single woman in the US today. This book is extremely well written. Read morePublished 22 months ago by Carrie Smith
I'm a pastor, married almost 20 years, and have three children. What was I doing reading Revelations of a Single Woman? Read morePublished 23 months ago by Jason P. Burden
This book was a wonderful read. It felt I was sitting down to coffee with a good friend and being honest about life. I love the way Connally writes. She is so relatable. Read morePublished on January 10, 2014 by Danielle
This book is by far one of the best "single" books for the post-college single. I love the honesty & insight. Read morePublished on December 19, 2013 by shopper29
I had to read it twice, and will read it again, to appreciate Connally's insights. Thanks for sharing! - Jim (5 stars)Published on September 24, 2013 by Sue