Customer Reviews

Revenge of the Middle-Aged Woman

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Elizabeth Buchan's book REVENGE OF THE MIDDLE-AGED WOMAN is about the destruction and ultimate resurrection of a single life. At the start of the book, Rose Lloyd's life appears idyllic. Married to Nathan for twenty-five years, she has concurrently raised a son and a daughter, forged a career as a book critic and editor, and kept a beautiful home. Life is comfortable, easy and lovingly predictable. She feels blessed by the ease with which her days pass. Whether she is tending her garden or dining out with colleagues, Rose is grounded and at peace.

But then one day, forty-pushing-fifty Nathan comes home and announces out of the blue that he wants out of their comfortable, easy, predictable existence. He uses the oldest cliché in the book: he has found love, or at least lust, with a younger woman. And, ouch, the younger woman is a good friend of Rose's. As if this devastation is not enough, a waterfall of catastrophic events happens in quick succession, sending Rose over the edge. She loses her job, a beloved pet dies, a child marries while in another country and her mother becomes ill. Buchan hits every potential nerve, leaving readers raw from the emotional barrage.

Rose sinks to the greatest depths of depression, drinking too much, eating too little and sleeping too much. Buchan spends many pages expertly plumbing the recesses of a devastated psyche and, for anyone who has ever experienced such grand and vast loss, Rose's self-questioning, self-hatred and self-abuse will be all too familiar.

As low as Rose sinks, ultimately, REVENGE OF THE MIDDLE-AGED WOMAN is about resurrecting one's life from the unrecognizable heap of self that is left after loss --- and resurrect she does. Buchan never fails to write without great wit and Rose never loses sight of the irony of life. She rises a newer, sleeker model, armed with the knowledge that 1) she can carry on and 2) "it took so little to destroy someone." Poised by book's end to rekindle an old passion, Rose truly embodies the Spanish proverb "living well is the best revenge."

Thoroughly British, smart and witty, REVENGE OF THE MIDDLE-AGED WOMAN will have you crying and laughing as Rose roller-coasters through the dissolution of her marriage and an inspirational renewal.

--- Reviewed by Roberta O'Hara

Please ignore the silly title when considering this book. Its author, Elizabeth Buchan, is highly popular in the UK, where she is a reviewer for several newspapers. I had the pleasure of reviewing her two previous books that were released in this country: Perfect Love, a truly brilliant work; and Consider the Lily, which I did not like at all.

After a hiatus of several years (at least in the U.S.), we now have the treat of "Revenge of the Middle-Aged Woman," which concerns a well-to-do UK couple who both work for a prominent newspaper: he as a business manager, she as the head of the book review department. Nathan and Rose, a modern, undowdy couple, have been married many years, and are happily settled into middle age. They have two children in their twenties, an elderly cat, a beautiful garden (product of Rose's long obsession) and a house that has sheltered them throughout their lovely lives.

All is fine until Rose is blindsided by a sudden announcement: Nathan has somebody else and wants out. As a bewildered and devastated Rose faces that fact, she also learns in rapid succession that the other woman is someone she knows well-and that her own cherished job may be in as much danger as her marriage.

Rose's reaction to this upheaval in her life is predictable but different. So many hundreds of books have been written on this same subject that it is very hard to keep one's sympathy and attention. But Rose is not a whiner. And Rose is not a quitter. And above all, Rose, who is devastated but not broken, is a realist. How she copes with the blows that come her way is an inspiration to those of us who may have been in the same position, or who may be so in the future. At the very least, it's a good old-fashioned story for our times. At best, it's a wonderful model of how to be. No wonder this was a best-seller in Britain. It should be here as well.

I loved this book! In Revenge of the Middle-Aged Woman author Elizabeth Buchan has given us a new heroine to love; confident, comfortable, charming and successful forty-eight year old Rose. Although we meet her on the eve of her undoing (at the hands of her convincingly conniving husband- and job-stealing assistant), Rose is no hand-wringing cliche of the wife-done-wrong. Instead our Rose navigates her new, and painful world with the grace, dignity and class we all wish we could muster when things come undone in our lives. Rose is not destroyed by her suffering, she is transformed in a deeply satisying and understandable way. I especially recommend this book for the quality of the writing which was consistently exquisite from page one through the final chapter.

The title of this book is far sillier and simpler than the book itself; "Revenge" is actually a very sweet, poignant reflection on family, marriage, love and loss. Forty-something Rose Lloyd discovers how quickly the life she built can become disassembled the minute her head is turned. Her husband, Nathan, leaves her for her young assistant, Minty, to whom Rose also loses her job as editor of the books page of a big newspaper.

Throughout the novel, Rose reflects on her life with Nathan and their two (now grown) children, Sam and Poppy, as she struggles to find a way to make sense of things. There is no actual act of revenge as the title would have you believe; it's rather more a case of "living well is the best revenge," as Rose finally pulls herself together and resolves to get on with life without Nathan. Conversely, as Rose becomes stronger, Nathan starts to crumble under the pressures of living with a driven younger woman. Thus, Rose does indeed get some form of revenge, but she is always quite gracious about it, even having a few civilized conversations with Minty throughout the book.

Buchan is really a lovely, literary novelist who writes with warmth and introspection, and this, in my opinion, makes "Revenge" stand out a bit from other Brit chick lit.

This is a wonderfully reassuring book for any us who think life is over when our husband decides we are old and tired. It's the story of what happens to many of us when a marriage, especially a long time one, suddenly ends. Unless you've lived through this type of heartbreak you may not understand why Rose did the things she did. Many think because she didn't rant, rave and throw things, or worse, she's a wimp. Not so, she handled these extraordinarily painful events as a mature intelligent woman rather than as screaming fool. After she fell apart, she found her strength from within, from her children and with the help of loving friends. It would have been so much easier to go back to the old job and unfaithful husband, or would it. Could she ever really go back physically or emotionally? She moved on from the frequently steriotypical middle-aged husband who thought the grass was greener in a newer, younger place. Living well is the best revenge!

Beautifully written, this book takes you through the gut wrenching emotional rollercoaster a woman experiences when her husband unexpectedly leaves her for a much younger woman - a younger woman not only her friend and business associate but who also steals her job (this happens at the beginning, I am not spoiling the story). Yet, this is not a bitter diatribe, just a lovely, unfolding story of a woman who realizes eventually she will be all right and perhaps even better because of it. I thoroughly enjoyed it and highly recommend the book.

Rose Lloyd enjoys her tranquil, settled life - two grown, independent children, a happy marriage, a London job as a newspaper books editor, a nice home with a garden that needs her. And then, without warning, her tranquility and security, even her self-respect, are shattered. Her husband, Nathan, announces he's leaving her for a younger woman - her own assistant, Minty. And when she marches into work demanding Minty be fired, or at least transferred, she's told it's she who will have to go, making way for a younger view. Minty's, of course.

It's an old sad story, but Buchan's subtle, barbed prose and anecdotal style lift it above the ordinary. Rose is a strong, reflective character with a rare gift for being honest with herself. Reeling, she naturally embarks on a downward spiral, drinking Nathan's whiskey for evening solace, neglecting the garden, indulging in lethargy. "I breathed in traffic fumes, a whiff of rotting litter, and the knowledge that, for the moment, I was lost." But she remains aware of the pitfalls of despair, looking wryly askance at herself as she prowls the house, dwelling on her marriage, her mother's widowed perseverance, her own youthful ardor, the dramas of motherhood and family. "If I closed my eyes, I was confronted by pictures of myself hurling violent abuse at Minty. If I dismissed them, equally vivid ones of HURTING her took their place."

As we already know from the (too flip) title, Rose does not stay down. She touches bottom and begins to reconstruct her life; reassuring her children, picking up with friends, taking a few freelance jobs. She goes to Paris and buys some new clothes (naturally) and she runs into the old flame Nathan has always been jealous of, a famous travel writer and free spirit, (who is not much better developed than Nathan and about as much of a self-absorbed cad). But Rose's spirit and deliberation steer clear of cliché. Developments sidestep expectations. Rose's politic instincts stand her in good stead.

Buchan, who prefaces her novel with the Spanish proverb, "Living well is the best revenge," informs her story with a subtle distinction between inner passion and outer civility. Rose, half demented with grief, humiliation and anger, keeps herself to herself. Bitterness and self-pity seldom surface in her exchanges with friends or her children or colleagues. Even with Nathan, except for the occasional barbed rejoinder, she is reasonable, too reasonable, some will say. But Rose's civility works to lift her from despair and, perhaps more important, make it easier for others not only to bear her company, but to admire and respect her. A witty novel with a heroine to root for.

I found the writing somewhat awkward and jolting, the characters, observations and descriptions cliched. It's all right, it won't kill anybody, and I'll admit I finished it by skimming because I just didn't care what happened to anyone in it and the plot was so predictable.

I think partly I'm tired of this genre. It's another novel about a coddled middleclass woman who seems to have everything, though she has gained weight and lost her spark, until her attractive husband takes off with a younger woman. Middle aged woman loses weight, regains spark and possibly a stud of her own, while husband after making total ass of himself develops regrets as younger woman gains weight and shows her ugly true nature. There is always a scene in which husband makes himself pathetic, giving newly desirable middle aged woman a chance to kick sand in his face.

It's not that I don't understand the revenge fantasy, it's just been done a lot recently and I went through a similar situation myself and know all the revenge fantasies and how petty they can be. I need a story like this to be more insightful, well written or otherwise entertaining. There are no great insights here, it's just a trot through the same old tale.

I can easily see it being made into a movie, as Life and Loves of a She-Devil, Waiting to Exhale, and Shirley Valentine all were. I'd recommend all of those before this one to any middle aged woman looking for a good divorce revenge fantasy. This one just isn't as amusing.

Rose Lloyd, a 40-something London newspaper book reviewer, is simultaneously dumped by her husband of 25 years and has her job taken by his mistress, who also happens to be Rose's 29 year-old assistant (with the execrable name of Minty). I expected from the title that there would be some sort of revenge ala The First Wives Club, but no. Rose's revenge is more like validation, when her erring husband's new relationship is not all wine and roses. The way Rose is so wrapped up in her garden and many unfamiliar British slang words may be off-putting for American readers. I also thought the beginning was slow, it seemed like a long setup before the action started, but overall a pretty good read.

I'm not into women's books. They annoy me much in the same way that a veruca will annoy you. However the case of "Revenge of the Middle Aged Woman" I will make an exception to my rule, well who said rules were made to be bent whenever is necessary!

This is a deliciously entertaining book about Rose, her adulterous husband Nathan, the other woman, the diabolical Minty (a rather fragile she devil) and Rose's oddball grown up children Poppy and Sam.

The plot centres around Nathan's affair with the brittle but beautiful Minty and the affect it has on Rose, his wife of many years. When the affair finally becomes public Rose has lost not only her husband but her job too. However Rose is more resilient than she thinks and bit by bit she finds herself shedding her previous life, and heading down a path she might have taken if she had not chosen to marry Nathan.

Add to this a cast of quirky characters like Rose's eccentric mother Ianthe, an ancient cat called Parsley, Richard, the man Poppy marries suddenly in Thailand, a suicidal ex-girlfriend of Sam's and Hal the man Rose might have taken up with if she hadn't chosen Nathan and you have a novel to make you laugh and cry in the same breath.

Page by page we are treated to Rose's rebirth as a new woman, no longer in Nathan's shadow, no longer the wronged wife. With each trial and tribulation Rose rises to the fore and survives even the most bitter of blows. Like when she is forced to sell the marital home she finds herself able to exhale and move on to the next task at hand. And in the background Nathan is finding that life with the "other" woman isn't all it is cracked up to be and that Rose the wife that he had complained confined him, is now the one that is free.

Funny, heart rending and totally absorbing, "Revenge of the Middle Aged Woman" is a book for those people who can honestly go with the old Spanish proverb, "Living well is the best revenge..."