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Revenge of the Penmonkey [Kindle Edition]

Chuck Wendig
4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (14 customer reviews)

Kindle Price: $2.99

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Book Description

“If it weren't for Chuck Wendig's advice, I'd have fallen off the writing map long ago. This is the book you want stapled to your chest when you march into the battle of authorship!” – Karina Cooper, author of BLOOD OF THE WICKED

“Chuck Wendig hammers out writing and career advice that's always brave, profane, creative, clever, and honest. And don't forget hilarious. You'll never laugh so hard learning so much." – Matt Forbeck, game designer and author of AMORTALS and VEGAS KNIGHTS.

It’s time once more for a grim and greasy descent into the penmonkey’s world as Chuck Wendig offers up a gonzo NSFW look at what life is like as a writer.

REVENGE OF THE PENMONKEY takes writers through their paces and karate-chops them in the trachea with a no-holds-barred drill sergeant approach to a writing career. Wendig -- equal parts novelist, game designer, screenwriter and all-around freelance penmonkey – gives a candid and hilarious look at what it takes to survive as a modern day inkslinger.

Features 30 essays such as:
“How To Tell If You’re A Writer”
“How To Jumpstart A Stalled Novel”
“Panster Versus Plotter”
“Six Signs You’re Not Ready To Be A Professional Writer”
“Why Writers Drink”
“Word-Karate: On Writing Action Scenes”
“Writers Should Be Motherf**king Rock Stars”

Be advised: This is not a book for writers with weak constitutions or delicate hearts. If you blanch, balk and stammer at bad words and spluttering invective, this is not the book for you. If you are averse to a camping hatchet forged from the metals of unrefined honesty cleaving your face and brain in twain, then once again, this is not the book for you. If you want your hand held? Forget this book. If you want touchy-feely-tickly empowerment? Forget this book. If you find that satire gives you hemmorhoids? Forget this book.

Are you ready to go big and go bold? Are you ready to bleed on the page for your work? Then gaze into the unblinking eye of REVENGE OF THE PENMONKEY, a book of humorous writer-focused essays and articles of booze-soaked, profanity-brined writing advice.

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Product Details

  • File Size: 752 KB
  • Print Length: 191 pages
  • Simultaneous Device Usage: Unlimited
  • Sold by: Amazon Digital Services, Inc.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B005L9CZSA
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Not Enabled
  • Lending: Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #526,207 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

4.7 out of 5 stars
4.7 out of 5 stars
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
8 of 9 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Oh. PEN monkey... September 8, 2011
By jwmanus
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
Dang, I bought this book thinking it was the story about William Penn's pet bonobo chimp that ran amok in the town square, and got his monkey butt locked up in jail. There he discovered a magical amulet that let him time travel. He ended up in the future where he enslaved a band of Rhesus monkeys and forced them to bury the statue of William Penn up to its neck in sand. Ultimate Penn Monkey revenge! Except because they're stupid monkeys they buried the Statue of Liberty by mistake.

My bad.

Instead this is a collection of essays telling writers to write, damn it, write, blah blah blah, and quit being a bitchy little girl and write really good stuff to earn your chops yada yada yada, and writers are under-appreciated and misunderstood, but that's life so get used to it yom yom yom. So if you're a writer, you probably ought to read this book because it's got everything you need to know about being a writer and not being a baby-snot-whining-poopy-pants always moaning about how HARD it is being a writer. Suck it up and write.

Extra special bonus features! This book is written in code! It's full of cookies and cool stuff. If you solve the BIG PUZZLE you'll have access to the humongous secret vault buried eight stories below the Smithsonian Museum and on Tuesdays between 4 and 5 p.m. you can take all the gold, silver, gems, priceless art, secrets to the universe and occult artifacts you can stuff in a brown paper sack. Just don't cheat and do something really stupid like highlight words and type them backward on your itty bitty Kindle keyboard (especially not words that rhyme with "rock stoffel). If you do something dumb like that, space dragons will burst through the Kindle screen and lay eggs in your eyeballs. (I'll be forwarding the opthalmologist's bill forthwith, Chuck.)

One major criticism. Wendig did not use the word "onager." Not even once. An omission I hope he corrects in his next book.
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars September 18, 2011
By Steph
Format:Kindle Edition
I bought this to support Chuck's Terrible Minds website, which has been a tremendous resource for me. I figured if he can sponsor a contest every week, answer questions, share advice, and make me laugh and move forward with my own project, this was the least I could do in return.

I give it 5 stars not only because it is full of useful, tangible advice, but because I would have paid more for it! Honestly, most books I purchase fall short of my expectations. This rose above them. I even dabbed away a sniffly tear or two. But I mostly laughed - its all so true, so funny, regardless of your place in the writing journey or your genre of choice. A hearty "Well Done!" to The Beard.
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Writers, Purchase This Immediately. September 13, 2011
Format:Kindle Edition
You know those books about writing out there? Novels and Groupies for Dummies? The Idiot's Guide To Being The Next Stephen King? How I Did It by Stephenie Meyer? That's amateur hour. Kiddie stuff. On the battlefield of serious writing, where the freelancers struggle every day to make something happen, to feed themselves through words, to put bloody words on the page, they're the armchair generals.

Chuck Wendig, on the other hand, is down in the trenches, right next to you, asking why in the hell you weren't issued booze and an iPad along with the spades to dig your foxholes.

Revenge of the Penmonkey is the third book of writing advice he's put on Kindles, and the veteran status of his work shows. This is a guy who's been through the wringer. He's struggled, hand over hand, one word at a time, to carve out his own place as a storyteller and an iconoclast. He doesn't just show you how to make it as a novelist, short story writer, freelance penmonkey and menace to society - he shows you why.

He gives you a "day in the life" entry that puts any office experience to shame. He explains in exhausting, knuckle-popping detail why your action scenes need to jump up, crane-kick and actually mean something. He shows you why self-publishing that limp piece of purple prose in your hand is a really, really bad idea. And he explains why he can say as much as he does with as much authority as he does. He's been there, man. He's seen the enemy. Looked it in the eyeballs. And it's us.

Read between the lines of Revenge of the Penmonkey, moreso than his first two advice books, and you'll see what Chuck is really trying to tell us, what he wants to scream at us while shaking us by the lapels: Snap out of it. The words won't write themselves.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Attack of the Wendigoths March 15, 2012
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
Wendigoths . . . yes, I said Wendigoths. That's what I've decided to call the fans of the one and only Chuck Wendig. Revenge of the Penmonkey is a conglomeration (or as some of the 1-star reviews say "steaming fetid pile") of blog posts from TerribleMinds. There is also a new foreward where Chuck talks about his life and writing influences (his dad was a natural born story-slinger) and postscripts to each chapter where he updates the info and talks about the reactions to his posts.

However, what turns me into a raving Wendigoth, ready to storm the gates of Paris are the posts themselves. They cut to the beating heart of the writing process. Chuck is a drill sargeant at his obnoxious best. I have his footprints up my back and little tap-dancey toe prints on my scalp, and all I can say is, "Please Sir. May I have some more?" That's onaccountacuz Chuck gets me fired up about writing. Even when (sometimes especially when) I see too much of myself in the "SIGNS YOU MAY SUCK" posts.

I immediately say, "oh yeah . . ." and run off to my WIP. A thousand words in, I'm cussing Chuck and saying that I'll show him who sucks! "Not me! No sirree!" And Chuck is always yelling at me, "Suck it up Buttercup!" For some reason, he always calls me Buttercup. Shut up already.

And then another 500 words later, the realization:


I've been had . . .

Like a drill sergeant who can make you attack a twenty foot wall like it's a melty pile of fresh nachos (ummm . . . nachos) and then thank him as you pick mud out of your dainty places, Chuck's books make me want it. Even on the days when I think my want it is busted.

Now, the obligatory disclaimer.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars Chuck Wendig uses humor to rev up a writer, ...
Chuck Wendig uses humor to rev up a writer, and rev up he does! He doesn't spill on and on, he tells you in quick pieces frankly to get to writing, stop whining, and how to shatter... Read more
Published 5 months ago by cbugs
5.0 out of 5 stars This guy is a badass. I highly recommend his work.
Funny, informative, original and helpful. And weird, dark, a bit harsh, too. Loved it. I truly dig this guy's writing style, it is refreshing and honest and quirky and profane. Read more
Published 8 months ago by Sabra Kay
3.0 out of 5 stars Good Advice. Rambling Presentation.
Again, this is a gathering of his online blog posts about writing. But this collection is full of useful, hard-hitting, no-nonsense advice that definitely will help you grow as a... Read more
Published 16 months ago by Zalmorion the Fantastic
5.0 out of 5 stars Another Great Read for Writers
I'm a huge fan of Wendig's style of writing. He knows his audience, and more importantly, he knows how to connect with them.
Published 17 months ago by Benjamin Ryan T.
5.0 out of 5 stars Great additional to a way-overcrowded field of writing insight
"Revenge of the Penmonkey" is an insightful, funny and practical book that attempts -- and succeeds -- to provide readers with Chuck Wendig's unique brand of writing... Read more
Published 19 months ago by Frank F.
5.0 out of 5 stars Chuck Wendig RULES, K? K
never you I could learn so much and laugh at the same time. Brilliant tips given as only Chuck Wendig can. He's awesome. Jus' sayin'
Published 23 months ago by Wendy L Curtis
4.0 out of 5 stars Entertaining and highly accurate
If nothing else this book will get your creative energies flowing, the wicked bizarre side of your brain firing, and a flare in your gut pushing you to finish that book. Read more
Published on January 19, 2013 by J. Simcic
5.0 out of 5 stars Should be titled: DOMINATION of the Penmonkey
This book is a MIGHTY BOMB made of writing advice, satirical analyses and biographical cookies, all wrapped up in razor sharp humor. Read more
Published on May 4, 2012 by Veronica Sicoe
5.0 out of 5 stars Understand this: Penmonkeys are Closers
Chuck Wendig's back with more profanity-drenched, abusive and possibly defamatory writing advice for gun fetishists, bourbon addicts and... Read more
Published on October 16, 2011 by Dave Versace
4.0 out of 5 stars Funny and easy to read.
The Pen Monkey is better known to me thanks to his RPG chops at White Wolf so when he spammed, I meant, advertised his twitter feed with the Revenge of the Penmonkey at $2. Read more
Published on September 9, 2011 by Amazon Customer
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More About the Author


Chuck Wendig is a novelist, screenwriter and game designer. He's the author of many published novels, including but not limited to: Blackbirds, The Blue Blazes, and the YA Heartland series. He is co-writer of the short film Pandemic and the Emmy-nominated digital narrative Collapsus. Wendig has contributed over two million words to the game industry. He is also well known for his profane-yet-practical advice to writers, which he dispenses at his blog,, and through several popular e-books, including The Kick-Ass Writer, published by Writers Digest. He currently lives in the forests of Pennsyltucky with wife, tiny human, and red dog.

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