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Revenge of the Penmonkey Kindle Edition

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Length: 191 pages

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More About the Author

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Chuck Wendig is a novelist, screenwriter and game designer. He's the author of many published novels, including but not limited to: Blackbirds, The Blue Blazes, and the YA Heartland series. He is co-writer of the short film Pandemic and the Emmy-nominated digital narrative Collapsus. Wendig has contributed over two million words to the game industry. He is also well known for his profane-yet-practical advice to writers, which he dispenses at his blog, terribleminds.com, and through several popular e-books, including The Kick-Ass Writer, published by Writers Digest. He currently lives in the forests of Pennsyltucky with wife, tiny human, and red dog.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

8 of 9 people found the following review helpful By jwmanus on September 8, 2011
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
Dang, I bought this book thinking it was the story about William Penn's pet bonobo chimp that ran amok in the town square, and got his monkey butt locked up in jail. There he discovered a magical amulet that let him time travel. He ended up in the future where he enslaved a band of Rhesus monkeys and forced them to bury the statue of William Penn up to its neck in sand. Ultimate Penn Monkey revenge! Except because they're stupid monkeys they buried the Statue of Liberty by mistake.

My bad.

Instead this is a collection of essays telling writers to write, damn it, write, blah blah blah, and quit being a bitchy little girl and write really good stuff to earn your chops yada yada yada, and writers are under-appreciated and misunderstood, but that's life so get used to it yom yom yom. So if you're a writer, you probably ought to read this book because it's got everything you need to know about being a writer and not being a baby-snot-whining-poopy-pants always moaning about how HARD it is being a writer. Suck it up and write.

Extra special bonus features! This book is written in code! It's full of cookies and cool stuff. If you solve the BIG PUZZLE you'll have access to the humongous secret vault buried eight stories below the Smithsonian Museum and on Tuesdays between 4 and 5 p.m. you can take all the gold, silver, gems, priceless art, secrets to the universe and occult artifacts you can stuff in a brown paper sack. Just don't cheat and do something really stupid like highlight words and type them backward on your itty bitty Kindle keyboard (especially not words that rhyme with "rock stoffel). If you do something dumb like that, space dragons will burst through the Kindle screen and lay eggs in your eyeballs. (I'll be forwarding the opthalmologist's bill forthwith, Chuck.)

One major criticism. Wendig did not use the word "onager." Not even once. An omission I hope he corrects in his next book.
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful By Steph on September 18, 2011
Format: Kindle Edition
I bought this to support Chuck's Terrible Minds website, which has been a tremendous resource for me. I figured if he can sponsor a contest every week, answer questions, share advice, and make me laugh and move forward with my own project, this was the least I could do in return.

I give it 5 stars not only because it is full of useful, tangible advice, but because I would have paid more for it! Honestly, most books I purchase fall short of my expectations. This rose above them. I even dabbed away a sniffly tear or two. But I mostly laughed - its all so true, so funny, regardless of your place in the writing journey or your genre of choice. A hearty "Well Done!" to The Beard.
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful By Joshua E Loomis on September 13, 2011
Format: Kindle Edition
You know those books about writing out there? Novels and Groupies for Dummies? The Idiot's Guide To Being The Next Stephen King? How I Did It by Stephenie Meyer? That's amateur hour. Kiddie stuff. On the battlefield of serious writing, where the freelancers struggle every day to make something happen, to feed themselves through words, to put bloody words on the page, they're the armchair generals.

Chuck Wendig, on the other hand, is down in the trenches, right next to you, asking why in the hell you weren't issued booze and an iPad along with the spades to dig your foxholes.

Revenge of the Penmonkey is the third book of writing advice he's put on Kindles, and the veteran status of his work shows. This is a guy who's been through the wringer. He's struggled, hand over hand, one word at a time, to carve out his own place as a storyteller and an iconoclast. He doesn't just show you how to make it as a novelist, short story writer, freelance penmonkey and menace to society - he shows you why.

He gives you a "day in the life" entry that puts any office experience to shame. He explains in exhausting, knuckle-popping detail why your action scenes need to jump up, crane-kick and actually mean something. He shows you why self-publishing that limp piece of purple prose in your hand is a really, really bad idea. And he explains why he can say as much as he does with as much authority as he does. He's been there, man. He's seen the enemy. Looked it in the eyeballs. And it's us.

Read between the lines of Revenge of the Penmonkey, moreso than his first two advice books, and you'll see what Chuck is really trying to tell us, what he wants to scream at us while shaking us by the lapels: Snap out of it. The words won't write themselves.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful By Patient Reader on March 15, 2012
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
Wendigoths . . . yes, I said Wendigoths. That's what I've decided to call the fans of the one and only Chuck Wendig. Revenge of the Penmonkey is a conglomeration (or as some of the 1-star reviews say "steaming fetid pile") of blog posts from TerribleMinds. There is also a new foreward where Chuck talks about his life and writing influences (his dad was a natural born story-slinger) and postscripts to each chapter where he updates the info and talks about the reactions to his posts.

However, what turns me into a raving Wendigoth, ready to storm the gates of Paris are the posts themselves. They cut to the beating heart of the writing process. Chuck is a drill sargeant at his obnoxious best. I have his footprints up my back and little tap-dancey toe prints on my scalp, and all I can say is, "Please Sir. May I have some more?" That's onaccountacuz Chuck gets me fired up about writing. Even when (sometimes especially when) I see too much of myself in the "SIGNS YOU MAY SUCK" posts.

I immediately say, "oh yeah . . ." and run off to my WIP. A thousand words in, I'm cussing Chuck and saying that I'll show him who sucks! "Not me! No sirree!" And Chuck is always yelling at me, "Suck it up Buttercup!" For some reason, he always calls me Buttercup. Shut up already.

And then another 500 words later, the realization:

O.o

I've been had . . .

Like a drill sergeant who can make you attack a twenty foot wall like it's a melty pile of fresh nachos (ummm . . . nachos) and then thank him as you pick mud out of your dainty places, Chuck's books make me want it. Even on the days when I think my want it is busted.

Now, the obligatory disclaimer.
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