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Rewire Your Brain For Love: Creating Vibrant Relationships Using the Science of Mindfulness Hardcover – February 1, 2012

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Editorial Reviews


"Rewire Your Brain for Love synthesizes complex neurophysiological information about the brain's role in relationships in reader-friendly ways, and combines this with really practical, effective tools for beefing up the capacity for attachment."
-- Belleruth Naparstek, LISW, creator of the Health Journeys guided imagery series

"Dr. Lucas shows readers how to use the power of neuroplasticity to build up the "circuits" of resilience, empathy, and assertiveness for relationships. Warm, funny, and so very helpful; like having a best friend who is both savvy about the brain and a world-class therapist."
-- Rick Hanson, PhD, author of Buddha's Brain

"Honest, warmhearted, and funny. Lucas explains neuroscience in plain English, so all of us can understand. She brings great clarity to the sometimes murky waters of romantic relationships and gives us a wonderful introduction to mindfulness meditation and its benefits."
-- Sharon Salzberg, author of Real Happiness

From the Inside Flap

On the way to finding and creating vibrant, successful relationships, too many of us end up tangled in the same old patterns, tripped up by relationship habits that get in our way whether we "know better" or not.

In Rewire Your Brain for Love, neuropsychologist and psychotherapist Marsha Lucas, PhD, helps you untangle those relationship snarls, bringing together the latest neuroscience with a practice consistently heralded by top academic institutions for its effectiveness in changing the brain: the practice of mindfulness meditation.

Dr. Lucas's clear, unintimidating, often laugh-out-loud style invites you to explore how the brain functions in relationships, helping you understand how your current relationship wiring developed and showing you how you can rewire your relationship brain through mindfulness meditation.

A down-to-earth therapist and self-described neuroscience geek, Dr. Lucas has written a chapter-by-chapter guide with compassion, wisdom, and humor. In Rewire Your Brain for Love, she takes you on a journey through seven high-voltage relationship benefits—everything from keeping your fear from running the show to cultivating healthy, balanced empathy—and offers specific mindfulness practices to help bring those benefits into your life.

With a few minutes of practice a day, you can change the way you interact with everyone around you . . . especially those closest to you. You can transform your brain from an enemy to an ally in all matters of the heart, creating more loving communication, building emotional resilience, and reducing over-reactivity--not to mention enjoying better sex.

You don't have to become a monk, or a vegetarian, or spend hours contemplating your navel--you just need to update the relationship wiring of your brain. The simple practice of mindfulness can help get you there, with Dr. Lucas showing you how.

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Product Details

  • Hardcover: 201 pages
  • Publisher: Hay House (February 1, 2012)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1401931618
  • ISBN-13: 978-1401931612
  • Product Dimensions: 9.2 x 6.3 x 0.8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (64 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #862,274 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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More About the Author

Marsha Lucas, PhD is a licensed psychologist and neuropsychologist, and has been practicing psychotherapy and studying the brain-behavior relationship for over twenty years. Prior to entering private practice, she was a neuropsychologist on the faculty at the Emory University School of Medicine. Her psychology practice is located in Washington, DC (more at

Dr. Lucas has a special interest in the practice of mindfulness, especially in how it stimulates the brain to grow new, more integrated circuits - which may be at the heart of well-being, including emotional balance and resilience, enhanced relationships and friendships, and greater empathy and connectedness.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

69 of 71 people found the following review helpful By Marie E Connor on January 25, 2012
Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
Have you ever found yourself attracting the same kind of people in your life and producing the same kinds of patterns in relationships that lead to pain and suffering? Then you swear you'll never do it again? But you do anyway? According to Dr. Marsha Lucas, a neuropsychologist in her ground-breaking book, "Rewire Your Brain For Love," we are "hard-wired" neurologically to re-produce relationship patterns and habits repeatedly until we develop practical awareness skills to change them.

Dr. Lucas has produced a book that has real possibility for folks who are looking for solid, abiding relationships or for those who are seeking to make their relationships better. I like several things about this book but mostly, that the author has given us practical explanations for why and how we create attachments and foster (or sabotage) relationships. Then she helps us to kindly take responsibility for ourselves by offering specific practices to help us "rewire" our patterned responses.

One of the best things (though there are many) about Dr. Lucas' explanations is that she takes complicated, neurological theory and puts it in down-to-earth, comprehensible english. The audience gets a clear picture, sometimes with diagrams, on why and how we respond to particular situations the way we do. I particularly enjoy her humor.

Dr. Lucas explains that there are seven powerful skills that we must develop if we are to cultivate healthy, balanced, fulfilling relationships. She offers doable, step-by-step practices to help us develop personal awareness of our physical and emotional reactions. Then she gives us practical skills to help us change them, develop empathy, shift our perspective, and become much more flexible in our responses to relationship situations.

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49 of 50 people found the following review helpful By Susan D. Berlin on January 25, 2012
Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
This book is so much more than just a book about relationships and how to get one or have a better one, although it really helps you walk through all of that; This book, written in what feels like the voice of someone speaking to you, is about Mindfulness Meditation and how to use Meditation to enhance yourself and your life, not just your relationships.

This book takes you through, one step at a time, how to meditate and what happens in the Brain as a result of meditating. It is at once educational, funny, helpful, insightful and incredibly practical.

I found this book enjoyable as well as instructive and will be recommending it to many of my Psychotherapy patients.
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22 of 22 people found the following review helpful By JuliaW on February 29, 2012
Format: Hardcover
Rewire Your Brain for Love - is quite simply a brilliant insider's guide into why we fall in love. Dr. Lucas explains in layman's terms what happens within our brains to attract us to certain partners and behavior patterns. Once this process is understood, Dr. Lucas then illuminates why so many of us are in less than fulfilling relationships. She is the only author I've read who is bold enough to shine a clear light on the path to actually changing/re-wiring your thought patterns and therefore your relationship choices.

Little secret: this book could save you years of therapy!! Armed with an understanding of why the brain falls in love - even a reader without an advanced degree can easily grasp what has gone right/wrong in their lives and then take the steps prescribed in this book to virtually turn around patterns that no longer work. Dr. Lucas navigates you through all of this with an incredible sense of humor to boot! Not only does she pack into her book a complete explanation of our love patterns, but she also teaches you how to meditate - in novel ways. Personally this is the first time I actually meditated . . . after years of trying! The book is a wealth of information. Dr. Lucas marries science with emotion in this incredible book. You will finish it quickly and be much wiser about relationships in your lives (past ones, present ones and future ones). Fasten your seat belt for some ground breaking turf ahead.
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15 of 15 people found the following review helpful By Jeanine M. Swenson on February 15, 2012
Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
Esteemed and experienced psychotherapist and neuroscientist, Dr. Marcia Lucas, has written a beautiful, funny, evidence- based and down-to-Earth book for individuals and relationships which has the potential to change your life (it certainly has changed mine already in so many wonderful ways.) Starting slowly and building, from the outside inward, Dr. Lucas takes complicated terms and structures and gives you understanding about your primary attachments and how to manage them, so they do not manage you. Going to a new level in understanding thoughts and feelings, initial chapters gently explain and develop core ideas.

But she does not stop at anatomy and physiology. Middle chapters then weave and shape information into a way to achieve a new level of integration which could potentially lead to lasting health and happiness. If you long to understand your way of being in relationships, marvel or work with families, or just want to learn about different ways to achieve some semblence of balance in life - this book is for you.

Final chapters move outward from the individual level, to ways to be connected but differentiated in even the closest of relationships. Core concepts are solidified by excellent and touching real-life patient, couple and family examples. I am still enjoying the transformation this work has caused in my life . Happy rewiring.
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