Rewriting Life Scripts: Transformational Recovery for Families of Addicts [Paperback]

Liliane Desjardins (Author), Nancy Oelklaus (Author), Irene Watson (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: March 15, 2010

Finally a treatment approach that embraces the whole family!

In one sense, alcoholics and drug addicts are the fortunate ones. They have to learn a new way to live or risk death, incarceration, and loss of everything they hold dear.
But what about the other members of their family? Because so many of them believe that the addict is the problem, they do nothing about their own habits of mind and heart-and continue to live in resentment, anger, and fear, feeding their own stress level and shortening their lives in a way that's very different from the addict-yet, on another level, remarkably similar.
Rewriting Life Scripts: Transformational Recovery for Families of Addicts contains information, explanation, and processes for change. Following the steps outlined in this book brings peace of mind, forgiveness, reconciliation, and the ability-truly-to live happily ever after.

About the Authors

Nancy Oelklaus, Ed. D. has more than 30 years in education, specializing in curriculum development, professional development, and leadership development. First and foremost, she is a teacher. She's also an author, coach, speaker, and workshop leader.

Irene Watson, MA brings over 40 years of life changing experiences and study into her hands-on retreats and workshops. Her background includes psychosynthesis therapy and entrepreneurship. Irene's vision is to inspire others to find their authentic self.

Liliane Desjardins, LCAS loves helping people to do better. With 32 years of clinical experience, she understands and appreciates the beauty, resilience, resourcefulness and deep intelligence of human spirit.

Acclaim for Rewriting Life Scripts

"Rewriting Life Scripts is a must read for everybody in a family that lives with addiction. A lot has been written about and for people who are addicted. But this book is for the family. And it's good. Their advice is very straightforward and practical and their description of the family disease is a very real picture of the kind of reactions family members develop when they live with someone who is addicted."
--Tony Mandarich, former NFL player, author of My Dirty Little Secrets: Steroids, Alcohol, and God

"Rewriting Life Scripts is an invaluable roadmap for anyone navigating the difficult journey through the family disease of alcoholism, with stories of success from real people who have 'been there, done that' and are willing to share their experience, strength and hope. Addiction doesn't discriminate and neither should recovery -- recovery for the family too."
--William C. Moyers, author of Broken and
From Life Scripts Press
Learn more about this book at www.RewritingLifeScripts.com

SEL026000 Self-Help : Substance Abuse and Addictions - General
FAM501000 Family and Relationships : Dysfunctional Families
SEL003000 Self-Help : Adult Children of Alcoholics

Product Details

• Paperback: 184 pages
• Publisher: Life Scripts Press (March 15, 2010)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1932690972
• ISBN-13: 978-1932690972
• Product Dimensions: 8 x 10 x 0.4 inches
• Shipping Weight: 12 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (6 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,015,211 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A Vital Resource for How to Recover During a Loved One's Recovery, April 8, 2010

By 

Tyler R. Tichelaar "Superior Book Promotions ... (Marquette, MI USA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Rewriting Life Scripts: Transformational Recovery for Families of Addicts (Paperback)

"Rewriting Life Scripts" is a long overdue book. While addictions have become better understood and treatments have been developed for addicts, the addict's family has been left in the shadows, wondering "What comes next?" Families have struggled with their loved ones who are addicted; they have tried to help them, tried to control them, and basically expended their energy while developing unhealthy codependent behaviors of their own. Now, when the addict is finally entering recovery, many families are left in a situation that can only be described as post-traumatic. What do families do in this state--how do they make sense of how their loved one became addicted, of the often crazy way they reacted to that addiction, and how do they put their lives back together so everyone in the family unit can again feel stable, healthy, and safe?

It's about time families of addicts had their own book to show them how to deal with their loved one's recovery. "Rewriting Life Scripts" is illuminating in the way it uncovers the roots of dysfunctional behaviors in a family and teaches how to let go of those behaviors now that they are no longer needed. As I read this book, I was stunned by the analysis of family behaviors, the roles played by different family members from being the rebel to the overachiever or the family clown, and how addiction and codependency create, shape, and enable those roles.

Once the addict enters recovery, it is natural the family still wants to help him or her. This book helps the family to cope and to understand what the addict is undergoing, but more importantly, "Rewriting Life Scripts" is a resource for the family members to look inside themselves, to see the toll the addict's behavior has taken upon them, and to put their own lives back in order as well as to be prepared to have a relationship with the recovering addict.

The authors have all experienced their own issues with codependency and dysfunctional families. They are each authors in their own right, having told their own stories and worked in the field counseling people and researching addiction. Now their vast and insightful experiences are joined together to create multiple perspectives on dysfunction and addiction, viewing it from every angle. In addition, many stories are included here from people who have experienced living with addicts; they share how they coped and continue to cope with a loved one's addiction and recovery.

The subtitle of this book includes "Transformational Recovery." I love that term because this book offers so much more than simply "hope" for families. No matter what a person's past has been or the future will be, this book offers a "transformation" for the reader, the family member, that he or she can feel better, can live a happier life, can let go of the pain of the past and be transformed, renewed, and be prepared to re-experience what it is to be a family. "Rewriting Life Scripts" is the most cathartic book I have read in a long time. I imagine people will feel hope and joy and also shed some tears while reading it, but ultimately, they will come away truly feeling transformed and prepared for the good life that awaits them.

-- Tyler R. Tichelaar, Ph.D. and author of the award-winning Narrow Lives

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Help for Families of Recovering Addicts, June 30, 2010

By 

Lauri C. Coates (MASCOUTAH, IL United States) - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)    (REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Rewriting Life Scripts: Transformational Recovery for Families of Addicts (Paperback)

Rewriting Life Scripts
Transformational Recovery for Families
of Addicts
Authors: Liliane Desjardins, Nancy Oelklaus, Irene Watson
Publisher: Life Scripts Press
ISBN: 978-1-932690-97-2

When a family member has an addiction (to alcohol, drugs, etc.) the other members of the family by necessity are forced to change their behaviors, their lifestyle and their expectations. In many cases, these changes have occurred slowly and over a period of years or even decades. When the addicted family member make the monumental move towards recovery, the family often finds itself thrown into a new kind of chaos without expecting or understanding it.

This book is based mainly on using the 12 step addiction recovery process, but everything discussed can be utilized regardless of the method of recovery used. The book is divided into several parts, each dealing with a different stage of recovery. Families will find this helpful, enabling them to study and work through each recovery phrase as it's being experienced by the recovering family member. By completing all parts, the reader will reach a clear understanding of just what changes and adjustments they have had to make in the past and how the family dynamics will now be changing for the better. Topics are covered in a clear and easy to understand manner, explaining all the stages of change, defining the various roles played by family members in both the dysfunctional (addiction) phase and the truly transforming and freeing journey the family members all take as they work together to rewrite and change the family dynamics.

The three authors bring a wide range of life experiences, education and career training to this work. This gives the book a deeper, broader application that will apply to an untold number of families. I highly recommend this book to anyone who works with addiction and recovery, and to anyone and everyone who is part of a family at any point on the addiction spectrum. Excellent resource and promising tool for a happier family.

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Rewriting Life Scripts, May 27, 2010

By 

Alberta Sequeira - See all my reviews

This review is from: Rewriting Life Scripts: Transformational Recovery for Families of Addicts (Paperback)

Authors Nancy Oelklaus, Irene Watson and Liliane Dejardins show the reality that alcoholism is a family disease and finally published a one-step alcoholic recovery book for the whole family. Rewriting Life Scripts has touched my heart after losing a husband at forty-five years of age and a daughter at thirty-nine to this horrible, worldwide disease.

This book described my nightmarish years back in the seventies and eighties and made me painfully face how my past actions with enabling my husband caused one of my daughters to be dramatized through all her growing years. The sad part was that I never knew she had suffered in silence and had become an alcoholic until her last two years of battling this demon.

While reading this book, I felt like I was back in Al-Anon meetings. This is a must read for abusers so they will come to learn how each family member suffers from this demon. The alcoholic needs to know that it's not them we hate, it's the disease. We need to unite as a family and help everyone recover. It's not that this disease may, might or could kill--it will.

Alberta H. Sequeira
(2006) A Healing Heart; A Spiritual Renewal
(2009) Someone Stop This Merry-Go-Round; An Alcoholic Family in Crisis
(2010) Please, God, Not Two; This Killer Called Alcoholism