Customer Reviews

The Ridiculous Race

5 star:		(21)
4 star:		(5)
3 star:		(2)
2 star:		(5)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

My review title says it all, folks. Hely and Chandrasekaran are simply amazing. (Full disclosure: I wrote this book.)

I haven't laughed while reading a book as much as I did reading this one in a while. It is exactly what you would expect from a couple of television comedy writers (My Name is Earl and Family Guy!) who decide to race around the world without using airplanes. If you're not a fan of those shows/that type of humor, then you may want to stay away.

While their comedic talents really shine through in the book, the book is also fascinating from a travel and cultural perspective. For example, this is personally the most I've ever read about Mongolia. Of course, based on the descriptions in the book, it may also be the most I WILL EVER read about Mongolia, but it made for several very funny stories.

The book is a light, easy read, with no real chapters, but instead with short sections, alternating between the two authors. Easy to get through, very funny, very entertaining and very recommended for anyone who likes a little bit of humor thrown in with their travelogues.

This book is not a classic travel memoir, but it is quite funny. I particularly enjoyed the vastly different perspectives of the authors. In order to have a good time reading this book, I believe it's important to recognize that it's really a contest about two things. One is the linear concept of going around the world, and the other is a little more difficult to define: the awesomeness quotient.

The authors are immature at times and not the paragons of good taste. But they are comedy writers. And it's rare to find a book that truly makes you laugh so hard that others are looking at you as if to say, "What are you reading?"

It also makes you truly want to travel, and that is the most important thing about a travel book in my opinion.

"Even in the late 1990s, the Khmer Rouge would occasionally kidnap and murder tourists. Now over a million tourists visit the country every year, almost all of whom visit Siem Reap. (It would be a great ironic twist if the tourists started kidnapping and murdering Khmer Rouge members, but nobody I spoke to had ever heard of that happening. My attempts to be the first went nowhere.)" - Vali Chandrasekaran on Cambodia

"I reeled my head back, and with violent, uncontrollable contortions, I launched a spray of yellow, soupy duckfoot vomit into the air ... I (didn't see) where my regurgitated lunch had ended up after it'd been blasted from my throat. I booked it out of the now-befouled Chang'an Theater as fast as possible. (My guide) found me fifteen minutes later trying to look as casual as it is possible for a six-foot-two curly-haired white guy to look in a Beijing theater." - Steve Hely on the Chinese theater-going experience

While under the influence of a "bottle of ninety-nine cent wine", Vali and Steve, late twenty-something friends living in Los Angeles and writing jokes for television productions, come up with THE RIDICULOUS RACE, i.e. that they will race each other circumnavigating the globe without using airplanes, the first one back home to enjoy a bottle of the most expensive scotch available.

Steve goes west via Korea, Shanghai, Beijing, Mongolia, Lake Baikal, Novosibirsk, Moscow, Stockholm, Italy, Paris, London, and the American mid-West.

Vali goes east via Mexico City, Rio de Janeiro, London, Paris, Berlin, Warsaw, Moscow, Jericho, Amman, Cairo, Dubai, and Phnom Penh.

My favorite travel essayist-humorist, Bill Bryson, can rest easy with my assurance that neither Steve nor Vali are in his league - nowhere near it. However, as they skate across the surface of the various cultures and countries they transit, they do exhibit a sort of reckless and clownish superficiality that has its own charm.

Of the two, Steve is perhaps best at writing with an easy, self-deprecating humor. Vali can be funny, also, but his wit often seems forced, as if reading his colleague's portion of the book's pre-publication manuscript compelled him to try and match Steve's drollness chuckle for chuckle. Both snipe at each other throughout the book as only two good, male pals will do; this is engaging.

The volume is illustrated with several near-caricature drawings of the two travelers. Only one photo (of Steve) is included. In this age of small digital cameras, it's a wonder (and disappointment) that the volume doesn't incorporate more images.

As a travel narrative, THE RIDICULOUS RACE fails because it doesn't accomplish what I think such should do, i.e. inspire a burning desire to visit or avoid the place being described. However, as a book of humor, it's better than average for a stint of light reading and amusement.

This book is hysterically funny. I found people gawking at me, quite often, when I read this book in public places. I couldn't help myself from laughing aloud. In fact, I found out about this book when my best friend was in the hospital. When I arrived, having rushed to meet her in emergency labor and delivery, she seemed very disappointed that someone had shown up because she had to put her book down and speak to me. She was reading, The Ridiculous Race. I have bought a couple copies of this book so that I can give them as gifts. It's amazing how 2 idiots can brighten your day. Things to look for: The Trans-Siberian Railroad, horseback riding, picking up women in Paris, Brazilian graffitti gangs, and fermented mare's milk. You might not know it yet but, you love this book.

I picked this up on a lark and was not a fan. The authors are just so unbelievably irritating and immature, particularly Vali. They remind me of college freshmen who desperately want to be liked, and who seek attention by inventing an over the top image that wavers between bravado and self-deprecation. Both guys take pains to describe their drinking throughout their trip, in an effort to give them a rakish, Hunter Thompson vibe that doesn't work. Both liberally drop Bob Saget-style one-liners at every opportunity, to showcase how funny they are, and prove the opposite instead.

Vali was like a mosquito in my ear as I read. His jokes were so bad. Examples: "By the time my flight landed, I was sick as a dog. (And I'm not talking about one of those healthy dogs)." And "Of course, you shouldn't judge a country by its cabdrivers. If you did, you'd think everyone in the country drove cabs for a living." And "As everyone knows, there are two sides to every coin (the tricky part is that most things aren't coins)." And, how about "At the edge of the garden is the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier. I stood there for a few minutes telling everyone who passed by, `I know who's buried here. It's my friend Bob. Don't tell anyone.'" Just awful.

One of the problems with The Ridiculous Race is how deliberately Steve and Vali set out to write it. Most nonfiction works describe an amazing event that befell the author, long before writing about it came to mind; things happen, and then it strikes the author that those things would be worth sharing with others. In this case, Vali and Steve got a publisher interested in their dare beforehand, who gave them an advance to spend during their race around the world. Their resulting attempts to justify the paycheck fill the pages with way too much of their forced, tepid brand of wackiness. Vali so much as lets you know a couple of times that he wanted to go to sleep in his hotel, but had the book to think about, and headed out into the town for more "adventures" (mostly talking to strangers at bars or eating exotic foods). Steve mentioned at one point that the trip was costing him way too much, and that he'd need to sell a boatload of copies of the book. How about some mystery, guys?

The race was only about 50 days or so, and it wasn't all that ridiculous. Steve and Vali were more tourists than voyagers, only occasionally veering lamely off the path of least resistance. Their knowledge of the places they visit runs as deep as the Google searches they describe. No one picked up any ladies despite a lot of wasted ink thinking about it (a couple of blind dates don't count). There were no real confrontations or elements of danger- just idiotic questions asked of people, invented "imagine if" scenarios, and narratives of completely risk-free events like a Jack the Ripper tour in London, overnight train rides, a visit to the Sistine Chapel, and a week spent on a luxury cruise line. Fueling the authors' already bothersome attempts to win readers' admiration was an "Awesomeness Contest" representing a side bet to the Ridiculous Race.

The most outlandish aspects of the race were the least funny (*** SPOILERS ***): Vali tries to get a head start at the race's beginning by handcuffing Steve in his apartment. Vali cheats immediately by flying and then incorporates air travel at every opportunity. Vali sets off for Mexico to meet with a jetpack hobbyist, based on the absurd and unfunny idea to cross the ocean with it, and never so much as gets a foot off the ground.

Vali was at his worst when effecting an air of danger; he wants so badly for his story to read like a James Bond serial, but is way too non-threatening to pull any of it off. On the border between Jordan and Egypt, for instance, he got immigration officials to allow him to use an ATM beyond security to get money for his visa. "Even though I wasn't handcuffed, I walked with my hands clasped behind my back as if I was. I wanted everyone who saw me and my armed escort to think I was some sort of awesome internationally wanted man- the sort of guy who did away with his enemies by forcing them to gorge themselves to death on fine caviar." This is the same guy who chickened out of visiting the Kremlin armory after paying admission because some 14 year olds were glaring at him menacingly. Sorry, not dangerous. And not funny.

The concept of this book had unlimited potential, only to be botched by two ridiculous participants who had no intention of making this a legitimate contest of racing around the world and back in opposite directions without flying. Vali's effort can even be considered as defrauding the publisher, Henry Holt and Company, who funded the race. Mr. Vali broke the cardinal rule of "no use of airplanes" repeatedly -- ten times by his own admission -- and most of his stops were in popular tourist destinations with little to no value to the reader. Vali's participation in this race was completely irrelevant.

Steve could have carried the book on his own, but even his effort was not genuine. He took twenty five days to travel from Moscow to London when he could have completed the trip in three days. Between Moscow and London, Steve spent three weeks in Western Europe in hardly "uncharted territory".

It's certainly understandable that some of the authors' actions were in the spirit of adding comedic-entertaining value to the race, but these two gifted writers could have just as easily written a five star book by adhering to the rules of the game and making a valiant effort to circle the globe as quickly as possible. Unfortunately, Vali's maturity level and Steve's tendency to veer off course ruined a perfectly entertaining concept.

This book started off with a bang. It follows the story of two young men, Vali and Steve as they first make a wager to travel the world without airplanes, and then commence their journey.

But as the book labors on, I got the feeling not only did Vali give up on the integrity of the race, but also gave up trying to write a book. Which is a shame, as he is the more gifted of the two writers.

This book had some very funny moments, some that made me laugh out loud, but honestly it felt like homework reading this book at times.

Book Overview

In 2007, two friends -- Steve Hely and Vali Chandrasekaran -- embarked on a race around the world without using airplanes. Steve traveled West, and Vali traveled East. The first guy who circled the planet and make it back to Los Angeles would be declared the winner. The prize? A bottle of the finest Scotch they could find.

Not being just ordinary guys (both are writers for television comedy shows), they were able to get a book advance to bankroll their trip. The result was this book, which chronicles each man's journey.

Steve -- the more serious of the two and the one committed to racing by following the rules -- starts his trip on board the container ship Hanjin Athens. As such, he is able to definitively answer the question: Is fourteen days on the Pacific a grand, romantic adventure or crushingly boring? To quote Steve:

The short answer is "crushingly boring."

By the time we left port, it was clear that the greatest danger facing me wasn't pirates or storms. Or sharks. Or giant squid, Or flesh-eating jellyfish. Or being raped and stabbed by sailors. Or string rays.

It was keeping my idle mind from destroying itself.

After this journey, Steve takes a road trip through China (including a gut-wrenching but hilarious night at the Peking Opera) and ends up on a train that takes him through Mongolia (with a brief stop at Ulaanbaatar , which he affectionately dubs "A City for People Who Hate Cities.") Along the away, he becomes obsessed with drinking fermented mare's milk. (Wonder what fermented mare's milk tastes like? Here is Steve's description: "Get some half-and-half and a can of warm Sprite. Mix the two in a glass. Let sit for a few days on top of your radiator.") He then boards the Trans-Siberian Railroad and meets Vali at the "halfway" point in Moscow.

Meanwhile, Vali starts his trip driving to Mexico with a attractive woman he has hired to help him navigate and translate the country. (Did I mention they have a side bet on who can do the most awesome things during the trip -- The Awesomeness Contest? With "awesome" being defined as "meeting and romancing the most beautiful girls possible.") Vali's goal is to visit the world's premier designer of jet-packs, which Vali intends to purchase and use to fly across the oceans. However, jet-packs cost $250,000 and can hold only 30 seconds worth of fuel, so he is forced to scuttle this plan. After driving north back to the United States, Vali breaks the no airplane rule and flies to Brazil, where he joins a Brazilian graffiti gang. (In Rio, he begins having his trip-long problems with travel visas and document.) From there he jets to Europe and visits London, Paris ("Beneath my awestruck face my blood boiled. I was furious Paris was not overrated."), Berlin and Warsaw -- before meeting Steve in Moscow.

In Moscow, the two meet for a "truce day," in which hijinks, practical jokes and obscene amounts of drinking set the tone. They then depart and go their separate ways.

Steve hits St. Petersburg and Finland before visiting Sweden, where he spends some awesomeness time with a lovely Swedish lass named Ingrid. He then takes a week-long jaunt around Western Europe before boarding the Queen Mary 2 (or "How I Crossed the Atlantic, or, Six Days Trapped on the World's Most Luxurious Floating Nursing Home!"). (This part of the travel narrative includes a guide to "Paris for Weirdos.") Once he reaches New York, the final part of his journey is accomplished via Amtrak and riding with a long-haul trucker.

Meanwhile, Vali hits his stride and travels to Cairo, Amman, Palestine and Dubai -- wrapping things up with an eye-opening stay in Cambodia. (His description of the temples of Angkor made me want to add it to the list of places I must go someday.) He then jets home to Los Angeles.

Who makes it to LA first and wins the race? Who cares? It is the journey that matters.

My Thoughts

This is not your standard travel narrative. This is a travel narrative written by two very funny, sarcastic men who will remind you of every immature doofus you've ever known. Thank Goodness!

This book was such a fun read -- I was pretty much laughing throughout. Although there are moments of seriousness and you'll learn a bit about the countries they visit, the goal of this book is not to educate -- it is to entertain. And the authors are wildly successful. (The book flip-flops between Steve and Vali's accounts of their trip so you get a roughly approximate feel for what they were doing at about the same time during the race.)

I just loved this book. I don't think there is anything more to say about it -- I tried to include a taste for the spirit of the book in the book overview so you'll have a taste of what you are in for so if what you read was appealing, get the book today. OK ... here is one last excerpt just to whet your appetite. It is from Steve and describes "The Cultural Wonders of Ulaanbaatar." I picked this part (though I pretty much could have opened the book anywhere and started typing) because I think it perfectly captures the tone of the book and the mocking relationship between Steve and Vali.

There are only three things in Ulaanbaatar worth seeing. One is the Winter Palace of the Bogd Khan, which, according to my guidebook, has "an extraordinary array of stuffed animals." I did not visit it. I can see stuffed animals in Vali's bedroom.

Second is the Museum of Natural History. The dry air of the Gobi Desert is good for preserving fossils, so this museum has its pick of dinosaur skeletons. It's totally awesome. Probably. I can't say for sure, because it was closed when I went. I tried the old "but I'm a famous paleontologist from the prestigious United States Institute of Dinosaurs who has traveled all the way here to see the dinosaur skeletons but am only here for one day!" routine, but the guard understood me just enough not the believe me.

The third thing to see in UB is the Gandantegchilin (or you can just get away with "Gandan") monastery. This is the only one to which I can give my wholehearted personal endorsement.

My Final Recommendation

A hilariously funny read. I loved it and recommend it wholeheartedly. If you are seeking a straightforward travel narrative, this is not for you. However, if a well-written, tongue-in-cheek, smart-ass, laugh-out-loud travel narrative disguised in the form of a race around the world is your cup of tea, this book is a no-brainer. Buy it now. You'll love it!

This travel book by two television comedy writers is a fun idea that is poorly executed. The two decide to race around the world going opposite directions.

The main problem is that you don't believe a thing they write because everything they write is sarcastic. How do you know whether to believe any of these events occurred or if the stories are made up? They don't take themselves seriously, so it's hard as the reader to take them seriously.

Another problem is that one of the writers is better than the other. Steve tells better stories, does a better job with the written word, and apparently actually followed the "rules" of no flying. The other guy doesn't seem to take the whole thing seriously. Or is that just the way they wrote it to give themselves interesting characterizations in the book?

Then the style of the book is really frustrating. It's unorganized. So instead of going back and forth between the two of them and their different stories, they'll tell a Steve story, then make it look like the other guy wrote something but it's really another Steve story. Then a new heading makes you think they switched again but it's really another Steve story. So you have to keep checking to see who is writing what and it gets so frustrating (and boring) that you'll skip through entire sections of the book just to get to the end.

And the ending is interesting--Steve actually claims to have learned something from a truck driver he met who is a Born Again Christian. While his Hollywood friends laugh that he was stuck for three days with a Bible thumper, Steve concludes that the guy was happier and more real than any person he ever met in Tinseltown. That was nice to hear.

I wish Steve would have written this book by himself and that it not have been a silly race with no real reward. He had some interesting experiences (if you can believe him) and appears to have learned things along the way. He could have used the pages on his own to expand his trip details (he summarizes going across country in the U.S. in about two pages!). So the best advice is to scan the book for the good parts.