27 of 30 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars
Very Slow, Boring and Flat Characters, August 11, 2008
This review is from: Riding the Thunder (The Sisters of Colford Hall, Book 2) (Mass Market Paperback)
Okay now just in case you missed the fact that the title of this book is Riding the Thunder (even though it is of course on the front and back cover of the book), no worries! You'll see that phrase about a billion times throughout the book. So even when you want to forget it, there's no possible way you could! I know you must be as relieved as I was...
It made me wonder if the title of the book was decided first and then an experiment of whether the characters could say/think those words a thousand times was conducted. Or if those words were used so often, there's no way the book could have been called anything else.
The book begins with a good prologue. It's the best part of the book. We are introduced to Tommy and Laura, who are quickly killed off because they are actually interesting. So obviously they must die so the cookie cutter romance Hero and Heroine can shine in the spotlight without fear of being upstaged by the secondary characters.
Yeah sucks to be Tommy and Laura. But before you start feeling really bad for them, they still end up being the most fleshed out characters of the book. And for ghosts that only get a handful of pages dedicated to them, that isn't too bad in my opinion!
Then we meet Jago. (Pronounced Jaygo or so we are told - and it's a form of the name James. Oh I'm sorry... you don't care? Too bad! I had to listen to the endless explanation so therefore you have to hear my condensed version *insert evil laugh here*) So Jago sees Asha and immediately starts comparing her body to his Harley. 'Cause nothing says ROMANCE like a MOTORCYCLE. Asha is of course stacked (Hello 34Ds!) and beautiful, and owns most of the town. Jago is of course on a mission to avenge his father's suicide which was caused by Asha's grandfather, who is also dead. So her family must pay.
Never mind the fact that Jago's father entered into a risky business deal, and didn't research his "partner" (a.k.a. Asha's grandfather) to discover the old man was a bit shady and didn't have anything set up as collateral should the business deal fall flat. Like it did. And never mind the fact Jago's father could have, you know, decided to stick around long enough to find a job to help support his sick wife and their three kids instead of offing himself. Logic? Bah we have no place for you! This is a revenge sub-plot!
Then we get to enter into the labyrinth that is Asha's mind. She wigs out because she is automatically hot for Jago's irresistible body, but distrusts him because once upon a time she was cheated on by a good looking man. So therefore in her mind, pretty = evil. Never mind the fact she is drop dead gorgeous or the fact her brother who she dearly loves is also drop dead gorgeous and neither one of them would ever consider cheating on a loved one. Again, logic? Bah we have no place for you! This is an old relationship hang-up conflict!
Asha freaks out when Jago asks for a beer... because he may be a warlock (aren't all handsome men?) and handing them something with salt in it is apparently a big no no. But as I was soon to find out, Asha has a memory with a strong resemblance to a gold fish's. Short term doesn't even begin to describe it. Only a few hours later he invites her to have dinner with him, and she completely forgets that she was wigged out by him earlier and brings him a pie... which I'm pretty sure has salt in it.
I think there were so many things standing in between these two, they had trouble keeping up. Asha finds out Jago is with the company trying to buy her brother's horse farm. That leads to hate! For like a minute then she forgets and we're back with lust... oh I'm sorry not lust but love! Because they fall in love at first sight and actually acknowledge that on like day 3.
At one point Jago thinks about how he feels obsessed and fascinated with Asha and can't think of any word to describe it except for love. (This happens on page 129.)
Seems Jago needs to invest in a dictionary. I can think of several: "Lust" "Desire" "Crazy Stalker Feelings"
But if you wait for them to actually say the word love OUT LOUD to each other, you shouldn't hold your breath. Really. Unless someone is nearby to revive you.
Both of them are constantly mumbling to themselves. They prefer to save their "thinking time" for being emo so they say important thoughts out loud all the time. Annoying? Yes.
Page 173:
"I won't have to," he said under his breath. "He'll be mine, too, when I marry you."
Jago decides this is very important to tell himself when Asha jokingly says he can't buy her horse like he just bought her brother's.
Page 343:
"Sometimes, the white knight does come in time," she whispered the reassurance to herself. "even if his armor is a little tarnished."
This was said in the middle of Asha fighting for her life at the end of the book.
Oh and before I forget, for those readers that have a hard time knowing when to emphasize a word and when not to while they are reading, the author has found a handy solution. Italicized words! And they are everywhere!
Asha begins having weird visions of things that went on in Laura's life around the town. Now we learn in the prologue Laura and Tommy died tragically in a car accident in the 60's, when they were run off the road by a man in a black pick-up truck. Gee I wonder who it could be... and yes it was painfully obvious to everyone but the characters in the book.
Now did Laura send Asha those visions to save her from the unknown killer? Nope. Asha comes to the conclusion Laura wanted Asha to love the town as much as she and Tommy had so that she doesn't sell it to Jago's company...
Thanks Laura but a heads up about the psychopath would have probably been a bit more helpful, don't you think? Then you could have moved on to the "save the town" plan. Just a suggestion.
Okay I'm going to sum up everything that didn't work for me because this review is getting monstrously long.
Asha and Jago barely have any interaction before finding themselves in "love" and then Asha plays the doormat to Jago's dirty shoes. Jago chooses to continue the Revenge Plan even after falling for Asha, which didn't really convince me that he had any sort of feeling for her, other than the feeling he had in his pants of course. At one point he ditches Asha, lies about where he's going for no good reason, calls her twice in one month and then when he decides to show back up she forgives him in two seconds. THEN when she finally discovers the Revenge Plot that has been staring her in the face the entire book, again automatic forgiveness instead of kicking him out of town like she should have. And nobody picks up a phone during most of the novel, because then things might actually get resolved in four pages instead of three hundred and fifty four.
Train wreck? Why yes it was.
Gah and the way Jago talks!!
Page 209-210:
"I needed to be with you last night, lass. You're under my skin, in my blood. Desire is too mild a word for what you evoke, provoke, conjure within me-and it crawled under my flesh until I couldn't think. I was nothing but a caged tiger prowling my room, a beast wanting its mate."
Who talks like that!?!?!?
This book doesn't even deserve a rating but since I have to I'm giving it 1-Star. I suggest you stay far, far, far away from this one. I know I won't be reading anything else written by this author. Self-inflicted torture just isn't my thing.
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