How to Act Right When Your Spouse Acts Wrong (Indispensable Guides for Godly Living) [Paperback]

Leslie Vernick (Author)

Book Description

Series: Indispensable Guides for Godly Living | Publication Date: October 16, 2001

Experience the Blessings of an Imperfect Marriage. We all–at one time or another–have the opportunity to act right when our spouse acts wrong. There are no perfect marriages or perfect spouses. We know that having a good marriage requires effort and hard work. Yet we often don’t know how to continue to love when we are angry, hurt, scared, or just plain irritated. Nor are we sure what that kind of love is supposed to look like. Should we be patient? Forgive and forget? Do something else entirely?

Acting right when your spouse acts wrong will not necessarily guarantee a more satisfying marital relationship, nor will it automatically make your spouse change his or her ways–although both could occur. It will, however, help you see how God is stretching you in the midst of your marital difficulties, teach you to respond wisely when wronged, and lead you into a deeper relationship with Christ as you yield your will to his plan for your life and learn to be more like him.

Editorial Reviews

From the Inside Flap

Experience the Blessings of an Imperfect Marriage. We all?at one time or another?have the opportunity to act right when our spouse acts wrong. There are no perfect marriages or perfect spouses. We know that having a good marriage requires effort and hard work. Yet we often don?t know how to continue to love when we are angry, hurt, scared, or just plain irritated. Nor are we sure what that kind of love is supposed to look like. Should we be patient? Forgive and forget? Do something else entirely?

Acting right when your spouse acts wrong will not necessarily guarantee a more satisfying marital relationship, nor will it automatically make your spouse change his or her ways?although both could occur. It will, however, help you see how God is stretching you in the midst of your marital difficulties, teach you to respond wisely when wronged, and lead you into a deeper relationship with Christ as you yield your will to his plan for your life and learn to be more like him.

About the Author

Leslie Vernick, ACSW, LCSW, is a licensed clinical social worker who has her own private counseling practice and more that twenty years of experience counseling Christians from a biblical worldview. She received her master’s degree from the University of Illinois and is an adjunct professor at Philadelphia Biblical University. She is a popular speaker for women’s groups, couple’s retreats, and professional seminars, and is the author of The TRUTH Principle: A Life-Changing Model for Growth and Spiritual Renewal. She and her husband, Howard, live in Orefield, Pennsylvania, and are the parents of two grown children.

Product Details

• Paperback: 224 pages
• Publisher: WaterBrook Press (October 16, 2001)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1578563976
• ISBN-13: 978-1578563975
• Product Dimensions: 6 x 0.6 x 9 inches
• Shipping Weight: 8 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (30 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #222,501 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

21 of 24 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A Book for Every Marriage, October 27, 2001

By 

Janet H. McHenry "Author/Speaker" (Loyalton, CA USA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: How to Act Right When Your Spouse Acts Wrong (Indispensable Guides for Godly Living) (Paperback)

Every husband and wife should read this book. Leslie's teaching is practical, as well as profound. For those who are "gutting it out" in their marriages, she offers help and hope, and even the best marriages could be improved by reading her book. Some of what she teaches that impacted me include the following:

* FAIRNESS: "Most of us live under the illusion that life is fair--or at least should be. The illusion that marriage is fifty-fifty. I shouldn't have to give more than I get. This kind of wishful thinking will always keep us stuck in immaturity or resentment. Or both."

* CHOICES: "Our choices reveal what we love the most, what we fear, what is of ultimate value to us, and what we think we need in life--in other words, our choices expose the dominant desires of our heart."

* TRAINING: "God never tells us to try to be spiritual, he tells us to train. ... Do you want to be more like Jesus? Stop trying and start training."

* KINDNESS: "Beng kind and gracious doesn't mean you ignore the wrongdoing or pretend it didn't happen."

I highly recommend this book. Even if you're not even married, you'll find it helps you grow in personal relationships.

18 of 21 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A Must Read!, August 26, 2002

By 

karen haag (PA United States) - See all my reviews

This review is from: How to Act Right When Your Spouse Acts Wrong (Indispensable Guides for Godly Living) (Paperback)

I have read countless books on marriage, not because I have a hard marriage, just the opposite.
I feel my marriage is worth all the effort I put into it and because our Enemy is always throwing those daggers at Christian marriages it never hurts to be encouraged by others.

Leslie has written one of the best if not THE best book on marriage that I have ever read. It does not seem to be a book written through the human perspective it seems that all of her wisdom is God-given and Biblical in nature.

You could almost think of her book as a bible study on acting right (at any time, not just in marriage)! She not only tells how to act right but why we should and how we will benefit and how our spouse will benefit.

She does not promise that acting right will guarantee that your spouse will begin to act right also. That is not the issue. The issue is that we are in a marriage not for our felt needs she says but our real needs and what we really need is to learn to be more like Jesus. Sometimes our Lord uses tough things for our benefit and for us to grow spiritually. (There is always the hope and possibility tho that the more we act right our spouse will learn to act right also.)

I highly recommend that anyone read this book, if you are married, engaged, dating a possible mate (aren't all dates possible mates) or just even want to learn how to respond to other people correctly.
Thank you, Leslie for such a great book!

5 of 5 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars "For every husband, every wife.", October 30, 2001

By 

Vickey L. Banks (Oklahoma City, Oklahoma United States) - See all my reviews

This review is from: How to Act Right When Your Spouse Acts Wrong (Indispensable Guides for Godly Living) (Paperback)

Unless you're married to Jesus, your spouse often acts wrong. The most natural thing in the world is to react in kind. Natural, but not helpful! With tremendous insight, licensed counselor Leslie Vernick explains what our reactions reveal about us, why it's so important we respond right, and how to practically act right when everything within us wants to act wrong. I found this book incredibly convicting, extremely encouraging, and highly practical. Give your marriage a gift and read this book as soon as possible. And, when you're finished, pass it on to your spouse. Chances are his/her mate doesn't always act right either!