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How to Act Right When Your Spouse Acts Wrong Paperback – September 15, 2009


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Product Details

  • Paperback: 224 pages
  • Publisher: WaterBrook Press (September 15, 2009)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0307458490
  • ISBN-13: 978-0307458490
  • Product Dimensions: 8 x 5.3 x 0.6 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 6.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (87 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #36,595 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

From the Inside Flap

Experience the Blessings of an Imperfect Marriage. We all?at one time or another?have the opportunity to act right when our spouse acts wrong. There are no perfect marriages or perfect spouses. We know that having a good marriage requires effort and hard work. Yet we often don?t know how to continue to love when we are angry, hurt, scared, or just plain irritated. Nor are we sure what that kind of love is supposed to look like. Should we be patient? Forgive and forget? Do something else entirely?

Acting right when your spouse acts wrong will not necessarily guarantee a more satisfying marital relationship, nor will it automatically make your spouse change his or her ways?although both could occur. It will, however, help you see how God is stretching you in the midst of your marital difficulties, teach you to respond wisely when wronged, and lead you into a deeper relationship with Christ as you yield your will to his plan for your life and learn to be more like him. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

About the Author

Leslie Vernick, ACSW, LCSW, is a licensed clinical social worker who has her own private counseling practice and more that twenty years of experience counseling Christians from a biblical worldview. She received her master’s degree from the University of Illinois and is an adjunct professor at Philadelphia Biblical University. She is a popular speaker for women’s groups, couple’s retreats, and professional seminars, and is the author of The TRUTH Principle: A Life-Changing Model for Growth and Spiritual Renewal. She and her husband, Howard, live in Orefield, Pennsylvania, and are the parents of two grown children.

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Customer Reviews

4.7 out of 5 stars
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I found this book to be very informative and helpful.
heatherny24maryland
For those who are "gutting it out" in their marriages, she offers help and hope, and even the best marriages could be improved by reading her book.
Janet H. McHenry
This is an excellent book on the subject of marriage and one well worth reading.
Eskypades

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

40 of 44 people found the following review helpful By Janet H. McHenry on October 27, 2001
Format: Paperback
Every husband and wife should read this book. Leslie's teaching is practical, as well as profound. For those who are "gutting it out" in their marriages, she offers help and hope, and even the best marriages could be improved by reading her book. Some of what she teaches that impacted me include the following:
* FAIRNESS: "Most of us live under the illusion that life is fair--or at least should be. The illusion that marriage is fifty-fifty. I shouldn't have to give more than I get. This kind of wishful thinking will always keep us stuck in immaturity or resentment. Or both."

* CHOICES: "Our choices reveal what we love the most, what we fear, what is of ultimate value to us, and what we think we need in life--in other words, our choices expose the dominant desires of our heart."
* TRAINING: "God never tells us to try to be spiritual, he tells us to train. ... Do you want to be more like Jesus? Stop trying and start training."

* KINDNESS: "Beng kind and gracious doesn't mean you ignore the wrongdoing or pretend it didn't happen."
I highly recommend this book. Even if you're not even married, you'll find it helps you grow in personal relationships.
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30 of 34 people found the following review helpful By karen haag on August 26, 2002
Format: Paperback
I have read countless books on marriage, not because I have a hard marriage, just the opposite.
I feel my marriage is worth all the effort I put into it and because our Enemy is always throwing those daggers at Christian marriages it never hurts to be encouraged by others.
Leslie has written one of the best if not THE best book on marriage that I have ever read. It does not seem to be a book written through the human perspective it seems that all of her wisdom is God-given and Biblical in nature.
You could almost think of her book as a bible study on acting right (at any time, not just in marriage)! She not only tells how to act right but why we should and how we will benefit and how our spouse will benefit.
She does not promise that acting right will guarantee that your spouse will begin to act right also. That is not the issue. The issue is that we are in a marriage not for our felt needs she says but our real needs and what we really need is to learn to be more like Jesus. Sometimes our Lord uses tough things for our benefit and for us to grow spiritually. (There is always the hope and possibility tho that the more we act right our spouse will learn to act right also.)
I highly recommend that anyone read this book, if you are married, engaged, dating a possible mate (aren't all dates possible mates) or just even want to learn how to respond to other people correctly.
Thank you, Leslie for such a great book!
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12 of 12 people found the following review helpful By Jimelle Cranford on September 21, 2005
Format: Paperback
This is one of the best books on relationships that I've ever read. Every married couple should read it! It's not just a fluff book on "how to have a happy marriage," it's a book that challanges and encourages you, and helps you clearly understand God's plan for your marriage. I'm very thankful that I stumbled upon it, and I plan to read it over and over.
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10 of 11 people found the following review helpful By Nancy Sebastian Meyer on October 25, 2001
Format: Paperback
This new marriage book is a must read for every spouse--regardless of age, number of years married, number of marriages, or even the condition of your current situation!
Leslie Vernick's book captures the challenge of every marriage--getting along well with someone other than yourself on a regular basis! The book is a delightfully easy read, but one you will pick up and read again and again for the truth and application of how to get along with your spouse when it's not fun.
In my minstry to hurting women in difficult marriages, Leslie's book is a God-send. In the last month that I've known about her book, I've personally read it several times, purchased copies to pass on to my students, and given a few to family and friends. The truth of the front cover comment, "for every husband, every wife," speaks to today's incredible number of hurting marriages, but also to the rest of us who have the occasional ups and downs.
Leslie brings us a different look at hope. Her book reveals a godly perspective on what marriage is really about--and how to trust the One who designed it. We CAN act right in unfair situations and experience blessing, peace, and joy.
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9 of 10 people found the following review helpful By Vickey L. Banks on October 30, 2001
Format: Paperback
Unless you're married to Jesus, your spouse often acts wrong. The most natural thing in the world is to react in kind. Natural, but not helpful! With tremendous insight, licensed counselor Leslie Vernick explains what our reactions reveal about us, why it's so important we respond right, and how to practically act right when everything within us wants to act wrong. I found this book incredibly convicting, extremely encouraging, and highly practical. Give your marriage a gift and read this book as soon as possible. And, when you're finished, pass it on to your spouse. Chances are his/her mate doesn't always act right either!
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7 of 8 people found the following review helpful By Cafe Lily on December 8, 2009
Format: Paperback
With 50% of marriages ending in divorce, we need all of the marriage help we can get!

Here is an economical way to get insight from Leslie Vernick who has over twenty-five years of counseling experience. This book addresses the most common "hot spots" in marriages such as how we react, how our spouse's wrongs can expose baggage from our past, unrealistic expectations in marriage and more. I like the fact that there are some charts and diagrams in this book, which helps visual learners make more sense of the information presented.

My favorite chapter was Chapter Ten, The Blessings of Acting Right. Leslie offers some very good advice in this chapter which is making sure that you conduct your life in such a way that you have no regrets.
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