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31 of 31 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
worth the effort, March 5, 2003
The way this book is writtenat times light, nurturing, and joyous but often heavy, challenging, and confrontationalis a metaphor for Scott Peck's perspective on life. The first sentence of the book, "life is difficult," reflects Scott Peck's idea that spiritual/mental growth must be worked towards, that human beings are generally lazy, and that growth of consciousness is a life-long process. Everything is generally working against our growth: laziness; defense mechanisms employed to maintain the status quo of mental illness over the struggle for accepting responsibility; confusion over the true nature of love; resistance to "grace" (the idea of being open to our unconscious and the symbolic language of God); lack of discipline; adults being mentally and spiritually immature; poor parenting resulting in nuerosis and character disorder; and a culture that generally defends, accepts, and nurtures sickness over health.Sometimes Scott Peck's language is a little heavy, but it's only because he packs so much valuable information and insight into each page. The first chapter on Discipline (a tool to solve our problems. Another great Peck idea: see problems as challenges, and it is in our response to problems that life takes on its meaning and color) was a bit dry to me, but contains excellent information on delaying gratification, balancing and bracketing (attempting to listen to others/view situations with objectivity), dedication to the truth, and a key to anyone seeking to grow: ACCEPTING RESPONSIBILITY. The second section on Love was fascinating to me. Scott Peck does a great job debunking the myth of romantic love, but perhaps most valuable is the idea that real loving is about nurturing your own or another's spiritual growth. Love is an action and a decision, not just a feeling. It's so easy in our culture to imagine love as a feeling, red roses, wine, dinners, etc. That is the illusion of romance but has nothing to do with the work and courage of real active loving (Scott Peck says if an action doesn't involve courage or work, it's not loving!). Also in this chapter are a few controversial ideas, namely open marriage (Scott Peck's extension of the idea that loving involves encouraging an individual's total development...hmmm...sort of vague extension to me to involve plural relationships. what happened to discipline?) and even Scott Peck's suggestion that he would have sex with a patient if he felt it would further both their spiritual development! (do not agree with this at all. any person in treatment is not in a position to navigate such power dynamics) The final section on Grace reminds us to look to our unconscious for information and guidance. Dreams, nagging thoughts, sudden insights, etc. from our unconscious, which Scott Peck says knows more than our conscious ever could, are signs that there is a God, and he/she/it is a loving God interested in our spiritual development (reflection of Scott Peck's idea of love, and a good idea if you ask me). These signs are meant to prod us into action. In general, although at times you will be re-reading pages to make sure you got the meaning, and sometimes Scott Peck's language will seem heavy and plodding, this book will help you see where you can expand the boundaries of your spirit, your mind, and your life, how you can love bigger and better (and make it mean more to everyone), how your life can have meaning and consistency, and how to be a loving, conscious person, parent, lover, mate, and friend. I underlined a LOT in this book, and going back to read just my underlines I am amazed at the amount of loving, valuable insight in this book. Growing and truly accepting responsibility for the quality of our lives is not as easy as it sounds. Scott Peck is very aware of this and gives a lot of support to keep on journeying this road less traveled.
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