Customer Reviews

The Road Less Traveled, 25th Anniversary Edition : A New Psychology of Love, Traditional Values and Spiritual Growth

5 star:		(130)
4 star:		(22)
3 star:		(9)
2 star:		(8)
1 star:		(9)

 

 

The way this book is writtenat times light, nurturing, and joyous but often heavy, challenging, and confrontationalis a metaphor for Scott Peck's perspective on life. The first sentence of the book, "life is difficult," reflects Scott Peck's idea that spiritual/mental growth must be worked towards, that human beings are generally lazy, and that growth of consciousness is a life-long process. Everything is generally working against our growth: laziness; defense mechanisms employed to maintain the status quo of mental illness over the struggle for accepting responsibility; confusion over the true nature of love; resistance to "grace" (the idea of being open to our unconscious and the symbolic language of God); lack of discipline; adults being mentally and spiritually immature; poor parenting resulting in nuerosis and character disorder; and a culture that generally defends, accepts, and nurtures sickness over health.

Sometimes Scott Peck's language is a little heavy, but it's only because he packs so much valuable information and insight into each page. The first chapter on Discipline (a tool to solve our problems. Another great Peck idea: see problems as challenges, and it is in our response to problems that life takes on its meaning and color) was a bit dry to me, but contains excellent information on delaying gratification, balancing and bracketing (attempting to listen to others/view situations with objectivity), dedication to the truth, and a key to anyone seeking to grow: ACCEPTING RESPONSIBILITY.

The second section on Love was fascinating to me. Scott Peck does a great job debunking the myth of romantic love, but perhaps most valuable is the idea that real loving is about nurturing your own or another's spiritual growth. Love is an action and a decision, not just a feeling. It's so easy in our culture to imagine love as a feeling, red roses, wine, dinners, etc. That is the illusion of romance but has nothing to do with the work and courage of real active loving (Scott Peck says if an action doesn't involve courage or work, it's not loving!). Also in this chapter are a few controversial ideas, namely open marriage (Scott Peck's extension of the idea that loving involves encouraging an individual's total development...hmmm...sort of vague extension to me to involve plural relationships. what happened to discipline?) and even Scott Peck's suggestion that he would have sex with a patient if he felt it would further both their spiritual development! (do not agree with this at all. any person in treatment is not in a position to navigate such power dynamics)

The final section on Grace reminds us to look to our unconscious for information and guidance. Dreams, nagging thoughts, sudden insights, etc. from our unconscious, which Scott Peck says knows more than our conscious ever could, are signs that there is a God, and he/she/it is a loving God interested in our spiritual development (reflection of Scott Peck's idea of love, and a good idea if you ask me). These signs are meant to prod us into action.

In general, although at times you will be re-reading pages to make sure you got the meaning, and sometimes Scott Peck's language will seem heavy and plodding, this book will help you see where you can expand the boundaries of your spirit, your mind, and your life, how you can love bigger and better (and make it mean more to everyone), how your life can have meaning and consistency, and how to be a loving, conscious person, parent, lover, mate, and friend. I underlined a LOT in this book, and going back to read just my underlines I am amazed at the amount of loving, valuable insight in this book. Growing and truly accepting responsibility for the quality of our lives is not as easy as it sounds. Scott Peck is very aware of this and gives a lot of support to keep on journeying this road less traveled.

The book opens with the words "Life is difficult." Once you accept that, it becomes a lot easier!

But most of us don't accept that. We think if we do things the right way, or if other people would, then eventually life would become easier. Our material needs will be met, love will bloom forever, bad things won't happen to us, and life will unfold according to our individual needs and wishes.

Guess again. If you're constantly trying hard and finding life to be a major disappointment, you may find comfort and practical help in the reading and re-reading of this book.

Peck writes in an easy to read, easy to understand manner, writing of his life and that of many of his own patients. He begins with a section on Discipline; the next is on Love; then Growth and Religion; closing (how appropriately) with Grace.

When first I read this, in my mid-twenties, (living life in what one of my 'friends' called Life in the Breakdown Lane) the sections didn't look like they'd offer anything to help me. Discipline was something I wanted to act out against, not find solace in. The section on Love, I was disappointed to find, did NOT provide any instructions on how to find a knight on a white horse. Growth and Religion seemed some kind of a paradox to me, and I was sure that Grace was nothing more than a name I wished I had.

But within those Sections I have again and again(at different levels) found peace of mind through solutions that at first I didn't fully understand, but came to believe in -- for anyone looking for help in improving their lives, from a non-dogmatic, non-fundamentalist point of view, I'd strongly recommend this book.

Read it, learn from it, and just as happens to the bunny in the children's book, The Velveteen Rabbit, you'll find yourself becoming more alive, and more 'real.'

I'd also encourage the reading of Sheldon Kopp's "If You Meet the Buddha on the Road, Kill Him" and (if you're looking for some comic relief, always good when stressed) watch "Groundhog Day."

This is truly a gem of a book (though I haven't liked many others of his).

How amazing that we are still writing reviews on this record-breaking book 30 years after its writing! As another reviewer said, "The Road Less Traveled had an epiphany effect on my life." That has surely been the case for thousands of readers. Peck's insights into spirituality (not to be confused with religion) had a far more profound, immediate and direct effect on my adult spirituality than did my strict religious upbringing and my entire education at private religious schools (without disparaging the lessons of my childhood rearing).

The section of this book titled "Discipline" taught me that "spiritual" means more than just religious--and I have been infinitely more in tune with my spiritual side (the non-physical aspects of who I am) in the 20 years since the first of my many readings of this book than I ever was before.

The advice on love is indispensable. I used to tell everyone I dated that our relationship could not proceed until after they'd read that section--so they'd know what love is and is not! Another favorite section is where Peck talks about how most people stop drawing their maps of the world (their view of reality) at an early age because it is extremely painful to make revisions. But wise people embrace the pain of constantly redrawing our maps because it results in great rewards of meaning and purpose.

Some have mocked Peck's first sentence, "Life is difficult," as a great big "duh." They fail to mention the point he makes... how he builds on that. According to testimony, entire lives have been changed by the end of page one. Life's most important truths are the simplest ones (I learned that from this book, and it is so true!), and once we understand that life is difficult by definition, instead of assuming it is expected to be relatively easy, then suddenly it no longer seems the world is against us personally, and life is no longer so difficult. One page, changed lives!

I have given 20 to 40 copies of this book as gifts over time. But I always recommended only the sections on Discipline and Love. I told them I really didn't get much from the section on Grace, and that they should take it or leave it as they wished. (I can't deduct a star for this, since the rest of the book is so good.) I also agree with those who have said parts of the book are a difficult read. My first copy was a gift to me, and I didn't read it for several years, not until too many people recommended it for me to ignore it any longer. I had gotten bogged down in the case histories--the psychiatry talk. But be patient. The good parts are always just around the corner.

A book this successful, this enduring, and with so many accolades and favorable testimonies cannot be ignored by wise, thoughtful people.

I cannot think of a better manual for life, its principles applicable to everything from the tiniest minutiae to the most important decisions you will make during your days on earth. It is a compelling, at times overwhelming, collection of experience, anecdotes, and wisdom; if read with a willing mind and heart, it will change your life.

Dr. Peck brilliantly does in this work exactly what he compels the reader to do, which is to express consciously that which is normally hidden under many layers of denial, confusion, or downright lies. He tells us the many things that we already know about life, and we immediately recognize them as true, yet somehow the ideas themselves seem novel, and at times foreign or impossible.

I recommend this book if you have ever stepped foot into an incompetent therapist's office, if you know there are things you should do that you just don't (and don't know why), or simply if you are yearning for direction in your spiritual growth. Don't try to read it cover-to-cover; take it in pieces, and its deeper meaning will reveal itself to you.

"The Road Less Travelled" is a book about non-conformity - being brave enough to admit that your life isn't going as well as you think it is, and finding your own path towards the truth, love, and perhaps even God. Most people with even the most modest amount of self-awareness go through a stage whereby they challenge their own/parents/friends/societies beliefs and start to look for answers. Few however, truly do change; instead they resign themselves to a mediocre existence of habitual worship (to God or to money) and habitual love. This book's message is clear: do not to give up so easily, keep on searching!

At the time M. Scott Peck wrote the book, a main area of interest to him was Zen Buddhism, which fundamentally deals with the fact that our desires cause suffering (see "The Four Noble Truths of the Buddha"). As a consequence of this, the book is a mixture of his own brand of psychology and psychotherapy (think along the lines of C.G. Jung), Eastern philosophy with a dash of Christianity thrown in for good measure. Peck's questions and ideas are nothing new, however, he skilfully relates his own professional experiences with patients to exemplify the importance of self-understanding, so that we might break free from our suffering. As part of this, Peck obliges us to examine the fundamental questions of our existence - what is the real nature of love? Is there any order to the universe? What is the meaning of life itself? Peck never directly gives us the answers, but does ask the questions and offers up his own theories.

"The Road Less Travelled" is a good book for those searching for some truth in their life, and one that I think everyone should read at least once. After this however, Peck clearly forgot his own advice. He became a "Born Again", started up a foundation, and gave several lectures on psychology, life, and his love of Jesus (see "Further Along the Road Less Travelled"). I am not saying there's anything wrong with choosing a religion, though in my experience you develop a tunnel vision on things, which is clearly what happened of Peck. Still, "The Road Less Travelled" comes recommended to everyone, just realise that Peck doesn't have all the answers.

I read this book and the sequel, People of the Lie around the time that they came out. I was stunned by Peck's honesty. The stories of how he and his patients struggle with the problems and obstacles that confront them are amazing.

We don't want to hear that life is difficult. We want to buy something, toothpaste, hair dye, a new car, or find a new relationship that will make things easy for us.

Whenever I need some encouragement, I just find these books on my book shelf.

I first read M. Scott Peck's `The Road Less Travelled' over 20 years ago, but it is a text to which I return again and again, as Peck's insights and observations remain a constant source of inspiration and guidance in my life. It still finds a ready home in the hands of therapists, counselors, ministers, teachers, career planners, and others as part of their resources, and is not out of place in the home of anyone who cares about the directions of her or his life.

Peck is a clinical psychiatrist - the material for this book came largely from his experiences with clients and others, seeing what worked and what didn't, what was missing and what was mis-understood. Often cases involved psychotherapy (talk therapy), but the processes here are not confined to therapists' offices. The same kinds of problem solving, processing and relationship building that takes place in psychotherapy can be used as life-long tools.

Peck resists labels such as Freudian and Jungian; he doesn't look for, nor does he offer, quick fixes or the psychotherapeutic variety of the get-rich-quick schemes. This book is not a therapy manual, but rather a guide to spiritual growth that incorporates therapeutic and psychological principles. Peck echoes the sentiments of many spiritual directors and leaders through the millennia that spiritual and personal growth are long journeys, not short leaps. It involves dedication and intention, and a willingness to accept risk and change.

Perhaps it is ironic that, given this, the first topic Peck focuses upon is Discipline. However, without discipline, change can go unchecked and uncharted, growth can become problematic, and the human soul becomes susceptible to a host of difficulties. Dedication and application to problem-solving and long-term building (whether it be of retirement funds or of one's own spirit) requires a disciplined approach that recognises that life is difficulty (the first of Buddha's Four Noble Truths, cited by Peck), gratification sometimes needs to be delayed for greater goods, and reality needs to be approached and dealt with responsibly.

Peck calls here for a life to be totally dedicated to the truth. This is hard, because we as human beings are so accustomed to rationalisation and reinterpretation. This kind of dedication also requires a balance in life, and an ability to be flexible as the truths of our lives change - few of us are in possession of timeless and eternal truths governing every aspect of our lives, and often those who feel they are end up disappointed in the end. The continuing creativity of God in our lives requires flexibility, but this is best achieved in a disciplined and balanced context.

Peck then turns to love, a mysterious thing even in the best of times. He identifies some of the myths of `falling in love' and romantic love that our culture through various means idealises, leading to great dissatisfaction when we do not achieve the desired feelings or situations. Peck makes the assertion that love is not really a feeling, but rather an action or activity, that involves a lot of risk-taking (Peck talks about risks of independence, of commitment, of confrontation, and of loss). True love requires discipline and recognition of the needs of the self and others.

The final two sections of the text deal with aspects of religion on the spiritual and psychological development of persons. The first section looks at religion and growth processes. He does a short survey of some attitudes toward religions and denominations, as well as a look at how the modern scientific mindset colours the worldview of modern people, particularly with ideas of verification and skepticism. Some psychologists and theorists have wondered if religion were mass delusions, mass psychosis, or some other kind of sickness. Peck uses interesting extended case studies here to examine the role of various aspects of religion in the developmental lives of several people. Peck asks the question, `Is belief in God a psychopathology?' In some aspects, and for some people, the way they approach and `use' religion, the answer may well be yes. However, Peck also takes the psychotherapeutic community to task for often being too narrow or too dismissive of the value of religious sentiment and institutions in the lives of their charges.

The final section looks at the role of grace in the spiritual growth process. Grace is another mysterious force, like love, that is difficult to pin down and explain. It is also something uncontrollable. Why do some with artistic talent end up being successful and celebrated, and others not? Why do some use their talent, when others don't? In cases of ultimate despair, Peck makes the observation that while it is often clear why some people commit suicide, it is not often clear why others in the same situations don't. Some of this has to do with the unconscious mind that guides us, and some of it has to do with the miracle of serendipity, as Peck describes it.

Peck describes in some detail his concept of what grace is and how it works, in very general terms that relate to no denomination or religion in particular, but has wide applicability. He talks both about resistance to grace and the welcoming of grace. Grace is not easy, and often comes with responsibilities (Bonhoeffer talks about cheap grace; the requirements of grace are noted through scriptures of many religions). Welcoming grace welcomes often more than we bargained for, but also often more than we hoped.

In his afterword, Peck discusses the difficulties of writing in an organised and linear fashion about something so fundamentally disorganised as spiritual growth and therapeutic processes. He also talks about the need for finding competent help when required - ability is not measured by degrees, he states (something true in many professions). This is useful for those seeking a first therapeutic relationship, or needing a change.

Pound for pound, this book contains more practical wisdom than 99.9% of what's out there. It's a very special gift from Peck to all of us that is worth revisiting when the going gets rough, or even confusing. In its own quiet way it's a radical work, calling into question the basic assumptions of our daily life.

The famous first sentence, "Life is difficult," appears to be intuitive and obvious. In fact it is not. We seem to believe that life is designed with our comfort and convenience in mind, and that the potholes we encounter are irritating aberrations. Obstacles are the norm, Peck would say, and offer opportunities for growth.

His complete deconstruction of romantic love is also welcome, and almost heretical. This fantastically successful myth has fueled the furnaces of art, culture, and mercantile existence for centuries. The definition of love he offers in its place, "The will to extend one's self for the purpose of nurturing one's own or another's spiritual growth," is both workable and profoundly challenging, inviting us to view spiritual growth as a lifelong project of daring generosity.

Our culture loves the rose but hates the thorn, making Peck's message of hard work, action rather than talk, and commitment refreshing and vital. He points out, quite accurately, that the process of talk therapy is a bold venture with no certain outcome, and that while therapists provide a safe environment it is patients who must venture into the coalmine with only a small flashlight and a big heart.

Most uplifting of all is the connection between emotional health and spiritual evolution. In the final section, devoted to Grace, Peck tracks a connection between inner serenity, where the ego is aligned harmoniously with the subconscious and the larger force it swims in, and a desire to be selfless and useful to others.

The perfectly actualized human, he maintains, has a very small footprint indeed and would devote as much time and energy as possible to doing the work of God, to being like God. (The challenge of accurately determining what is God's will versus what is human vanity is consciously highlighted.) In a society like ours, so staggeringly self-centered, superficial, and devoted to the cheap intoxicants of materialism, it is easy to see why a book like this is revolutionary and desperately needed. Thank you, Dr. Peck.

I found this book to be a challenge, and in some ways helpful; but I would advise the reader to read this book with caution; in other words: do not take what Peck says as gospel.

For example, Peck advises: "The only way that we can be certain that our map of reality is valid is to expose it to the criticism and challenge of other map-makers." (P. 52)

I think this is a dogmatic and biased statement. At times, yes we can get feedback from others with regard to "our map of reality" being valid; but I also think that one can validate their map of reality by observing reality and trusting their own capcity to criticize and percieve correctly rather than exposing our map, or way of seeing things, to other "map-makers."

Peck also seems to imply that if a person has a problem in psychotherapy, it's "their" problem, not that of a poor psychotherapist, or the fact that a person may not need psychotherapy at all.

The book does present some challenges that stimulate further thinking and discovery. For example, on page 282 Peck states: "In other words, mental illness occurs when the conscious will of the individual deviates substantially from the will of God, which is the individual's own unconscious will." I asked a psychiatric resident about this, who replied: "Hmmm, an interesting perspective."

Sometimes I felt that Peck was trying to make a treatise for people to enter psychotherapy and giving the psychotherapist an almost godlike status, as if they are always right and never wrong.

I think the best way to read this book, is to read it with a skeptical mind, yet respecting that it's one doctor's way of seeing things.

Not easy reading but worth every second and all the effort that you put in it. While Peck's style is generally engaging and simple, there are times when you might need to re-read his words to get his meaning. This is probably because the subject matter gets your mind working almost from the first word. Each chapter deserves to be read slowly and carefully and therefore, it is not an 'easy' read.

This is a book about living; living in a way that sets you apart. It's a book about Life and everything that we normally associate with it and with living. Peck divides the book into four sections: Discipline, Love, Growth & Religion, & Grace. But in these sections he addresses everything from falling in love to solving problems and dealing with pain. The challenge, of course, is doing all of these things in our limited lifetimes, but he writes about that too.

Most of us tend to take these `things' for granted; we 'do' them without thinking about the reasons, methods, or the consequences. In the 'The Road Less Traveled', Scott Peck forces us to think about what we do, what we feel, and what we think in different ways that we have not thought of before.

Scott Peck combines years of psychotherapy with a natural writing style that attracts the reader and challenges his/her mind. It is not the writing style that makes the book difficult reading (even though there are a few instances in the book when he does become too involved), but the continuous challenge to you mind and to your preconceived ideas. Peck demands that you examine your mind, your feelings and your heart deeply and objectively. Most of us find that difficult.

Peck comes across his book as a warm and sensitive person and he makes you feel at ease instantly... What else would you expect from someone whose opening sentence is "Life is difficult!"