Road Map to Holland: How I Found My Way Through My Son's First Two Years With Down Syndrome (Paperback)

~ (Author) "It's hard to know where to begin..." (more)
Key Phrases: gross motor skills, frowny face, Woodbine House, New York, Parent's Guide (more...)

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Montana wife and mother Groneberg traces in her tenderly moving account the life-changing realization after the premature birth of her twin boys that one of them, Avery, has Down syndrome. Utterly unprepared for the emergency C-section of the seven-week-early preemies, Groneberg and her writer husband, Tom, the parents of a four-year-old, are devastated by the news about Avery, and they must gradually alter their easygoing future plans about raising their kids. They reject the notion of adoption, suggested by a well-intentioned nurse at the hospital where the babies are ensconced in the neonatal intensive-care unit, and embark on an exhaustively trying, ultimately enlightening journey to care for the needy babies, especially Avery, and educate themselves about his condition. Rising from the shame of feeling that their family is broken, and letting slide hurtful comments by a grocery-store clerk or neighbor, Groneberg devoured books and information from the Internet, and began to foster their son's development by seeking out physical therapists and specialists. Small gains in Avery's motor skills were causes for celebration, and the beginning of speech the greatest gift the parents could ask for. Groneberg affectingly delineates these gradual, hard-won stages during Avery's first year toward love and acceptance. (Apr.)
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Review

“Rich with honesty, wisdom, and a deep appreciation for every day miracles, Road Map to Holland is a thoughtful, moving meditation on the struggles and joys Jennifer Graf Groneberg and her family experienced during her son Avery’s first two years. Groneberg offers a wealth of insight, information, and even practical resources for families whose children have Down syndrome. Yet this book is first and foremost a story about the constant discovery of love, and it will resonate with every reader who has traveled the always unpredictable, often overwhelming, wonder-filled journey into parenthood.”
—Kim Edwards, author of The Memory Keeper’s Daughter

“I have been ‘to Holland’ for eighteen years now, and this book brought back so many thoughts and feelings I had saved up that I felt an immediate sisterhood with Jennifer. I watched her deal with that same fear of the unknown that singed my heart, and I wept when she reached that crucial moment when she found that same place of self-forgiveness. No matter who or where you are in relation to a child with Down syndrome, these pages will be like signposts along your road, to give hope and a new way of seeing things. It’s good to be able to see the potholes coming and be ready for them, and it’s good to know when to pull over and take the time to enjoy the breathtaking views that only happen on this road. Thank goodness for road maps!”
—Martha Sears, coauthor, The Baby Book: Everything You Need to Know About Your Baby From Birth to Age Two and author, 25 Things Every New Mother Should Know

“What a remarkable book! With excruciating candor and exquisite generosity, Jennifer Graf Groneberg invites us into the deepest privacy of her innermost thoughts, feelings, fears, challenges and triumphs. Nothing is left out in this amazingly intimate and profound journal. She allows us into every nook and cranny of her life and we find ourselves firmly ensconced in her heart.”
—Emily Perl Kingsley, national spokesperson and advocate for people with disabilities and author of "Welcome to Holland"

“This is the story of Avery—a child with Down syndrome who transformed his mother’s broken heart into one filled with cheer, awe, and pride. He offers all new and expectant parents a powerful perspective on life’s greatest lessons.”
—Brian Skotko, M.D., M.P.P., Children’s Hospital Boston & Boston Medical Center.

“Bursting with hope, Groneberg’s account of mothering Avery highlights the triumph of love over fear. Its candid, vivid prose and poignant emotion make the story is difficult to put down and impossible to forget. Herein lies truth to be pondered and savored by every mother, every woman, every human being.”
—Kathryn Lynard Soper, editor of Gifts: Mothers Reflect on How Children with Down Syndrome Enrich Their Lives

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Product Details

• Paperback: 304 pages
• Publisher: NAL Trade (April 1, 2008)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0451222954
• ISBN-13: 978-0451222954
• Product Dimensions: 8.1 x 5.5 x 0.8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 8.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (28 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #359,776 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

13 of 13 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars An incredible journey...don't get left behind!, April 5, 2008

By	S. B. Smith "S. B. Smith" (Montana) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

It is almost impossible to give fitting praise for this superb book by Jennifer Graf Groneberg. I don't know where to start. Groneberg has been blessed with the rarest of gifts as a writer: She is a brilliant wordsmith, an accomplishment in and of itself; yet she is also so beautifully human in her story telling. She is strong, vulnerable, scared, hopeful, flawed, honest, loving, doubtful, humble, and confident. She is all of us. We are with her in the NICU, as she receives the news that her middle son has been diagnosed with Down syndrome, at home with her as she adjusts to her new future, in the lake with her as she imagines that "nothing good" will come her way again (she of course proves herself gloriously wrong), at Avery's physical therapy appointments where her heart breaks and rejoices at the same time as she observes how extra hard her toddler son must work for the smallest of victories. She is not above sharing with us that among some of the unwelcome comments and feelings offered by strangers about her son are also some of her own. She exposes herself so honestly; the lows as eloquently described as the highs. Her style is spare but not simple, without an ounce of pretension or preachiness. You will finish the story with joy and hope in your heart, and a deep sense of admiration and love for this family who, at the end of the day, isn't so different from yours or mine.

Don't pass up this ticket. Groneberg has invited us along for this extraordinary part of her journey, and I can only hope that there will be many more stops in the future where we can climb aboard and join her.

7 of 7 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Beautifully written; an honest look into an extraordinary experience, June 7, 2008

By	A. Jupin "fellow mom" (Huntsville, AL United States) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

I received this book yesterday afternoon and finished it today. What can I say--I was completely and utterly entranced by the honesty and realness of what I read. Having a child with DS too, I could feel her pain, feel her raw emotion, feel her fear. But as I turned each page, I felt myself being forgiven along with her, and it's been a long time since I've felt so much relief and joy. Thank you Jennifer for sharing your story and your experiences with Avery. May you someday know how much grace and dignity you've brought to my own outlook on my future with my son. God bless you and your wonderful family.

7 of 7 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Stunning, April 21, 2008

By	Lola - See all my reviews

If you are an expectant mother of a child diagnosed with Down syndrome, or the new mother of a newly diagnosed child, or a friend or a family member, get your hands on a copy of this book. You will find no better guide to your journey than Groneberg, who is a gifted writer: honest, loving, self-aware and simply the finest company a reader could ask for.