2.0 out of 5 stars
Pretentious and almost painful to read., December 7, 2011
This review is from: The Road of Souls: Reflections on the Mississippi (Paperback)
I actually feel bad writing this review and I hesitated to do so. I guess the book's author simply rubbed me wrong. Having a life-long interest in the Mississippi River, I have a rather large collection of books on the subject including many written by others who have paddled the river. I have paddled much of the river myself and I have a deep interest in history.
Later in this review, I will make some comments aimed at canoeists, especially those who may be thinking of paddling the the Mississippi and who are thinking of buying this book to learn more about such a trip, but for now, know that this is probably not the book you want if that is your goal.
My main problem with this book is that the author, Nick Lichter, comes across as pompous, pretentious, and self-involved, and as someone desperately trying to be profound. Thankfully, over one hundred years ago, writing shed the ornate and frivolous style so popular in the late 1800s but Nick apparently tries to revive that style in this book. It's almost as if he a member of an "improve your vocabulary" club or has a thesaurus by his side to find as many rarely used and little known words to replace a simple and clear single word. Unfortunately, even if today's reader takes the time to look up Nick's gaudy embellishments, they often make no sense anyway. Nick put style over substance to such a degree that much of what he writes has no meaning at all. I read some paragraphs repeatedly and ended up more baffled than when I read them the first time. Also, his similes and metaphors are so strained that I found myself wincing as I read them. Much of his writing could be used in high-school writing classes as examples of how NOT to write. Some in the writing world refer to such a style as "Fancy Nancy" writing. Nick apparently thinks that the more rare words you use to express a simple idea the better, but he is very wrong. He comes across like a small boy wearing his father's boots. Clarity is the hallmark of good writing. (I don't claim to be a good writer myself but I didn't write a book!) He also likes to make references to highly esoteric things that no normal person would understand in an attempt to impress the reader. This, too, is a sign of pretentious writing. The author also apparently thinks he is so important that readers are greatly interested in his deep personal thoughts - waiting with baited breath to read what Nick has to say next. Not me! In fact, I had to force myself to finish this small book. Nick has the habit of taking a simple and pure idea and talking it to death. One of his typical paragraphs could be condensed into a single clearly written sentence. He seems to love to string endless adjectives together until the entire substance of what he is trying to say is hopelessly lost.
Another grating aspect of this book is the frequent quotes that appear on most pages. They average about a paragraph long each and generally have no discernible relation to the surrounding text at all and the author doesn't even tell the reader who he is quoting. Most have something to do with Native Americans but it can be hard to tell at times. Some are funny in that they claim to be quotes of long dead indians talking in Shakespearian terms. I never knew indians used such phrases as "hast thou," etc., so much! (In fairness, those quotes are almost certainly historic translations.) Perhaps Nick is quoting himself in some! Who knows? Many are virtually indecipherable. I almost got the impression that Nick inserted the seemingly random quotes as a filler for this small book. I suspect he thought they made him come across as profound.
Those who contemplate reading this book because of their interest in canoing or, especially, those who are thinking of paddling the river should probably look elsewhere. Very little is even mentioned about his trip down the river. In fact, most of the book is simply rambling about various indians from long ago. Those anecdotes aren't even arranged chronologically, making them hard to follow. They often ramble on about some indian's cousin's great uncle's wife's brother, etc. If that's what you are into, have at it!
I laughed when, in the introduction to the book, Nick informs us that to steer a canoe, you paddle three strokes on the left and then switch sides and make three strokes. As any experienced paddler knows, you DO NOT steer a canoe that way. It's not only inefficient and tiring, but it also makes the canoe zig-zag and fills the canoe with water that drips off the paddle as you switch sides. In fact, the fastest way to tell if a canoeist doesn't know how to paddle besides simply watching him paddle is to look in the bottom of his canoe and see if there is water in it. For a guy who claims to be an experienced paddler and who can't pass up a library because he loves to research everything, you would think he would take 15 minutes to learn the proper strokes and another hour to master them. They are simple! And they transform the silly zig-zag "switching sides" method Nick used into a beautiful and graceful experience that can remind one of a bird in flight. Nick likes poetry. He even quoted poems to his new girlfriend who he met on the trip and yet he missed the poetry of a canoe beautifully paddled as it glides through the water. It's a wonder that Nick didn't learn to paddle properly instinctively on his trip. As a general rule, experienced paddlers only change sides every 1/2 hour or so and then only for a change of pace and to use different muscles. (There are exceptions such as white water paddling, of course but then the switching is done for a different reason.) Oddly, Eddy L. Harris, in Mississippi Solo, also mentions that he steered by switching sides. However, Eddy could be forgiven because he had never paddled before but, again, you would think that such an intelligent person would educate himself a bit about paddling before soloing the Mississippi. Very strange! These authors spend endless hours researching everything they are interested in but don't bother to learn basic paddling technique before canoing the entire length of the Mississippi!? By the way, Eddy's book is far better than The Road of Souls.
Another thing that will probably make experienced paddlers laugh is that Nick had a bike rack on the back of his canoe hanging over the water. For the first 500 miles of his trip, he would paddle all day, then get on his bike and peddle to his car and drive it to his campsite - if he indeed did much camping at all. When I read that, I lost faith in Nick's credibility. Imagine paddling 30 or 40 miles and then peddling about that distance to pick up you car every day. He abandoned that silly practice when he reached Prairie du Chien but he still took his bike. Think about that: The bike hanging over the back of the canoe. The fulcrum would be at about the rear seat of the canoe which would leverage the weight of the bike and rack, forcing the bow higher in the water no matter how the canoe was packed. Much of the Mississippi trip involves strong head winds. In such conditions, you want the bow low in the water so the canoe doesn't "weather-vane" and spin around pointing upstream. Such an intelligent man didn't think of this either! So he's zig-zagging into a headwind with the bow raised. Not very smart, to put it mildly. Sorry to digress on this whole thing about canoing technique but any experienced canoeist will understand this. By the way, Nick's bike was stolen. What a surprise!
In one story, we learn a bit about Rick. He leased his house in Prairie du Chien to another couple while he was on his trip. When he reached Prairie du Chien, he visited them. To his horror, he found that the renters had a 38 special revolver. HORRORS! This upset sensitive Nick so much that he had the worst nightmare of his life and, when he recovered, he was adamant in insisting that the renters get the horrible weapon out of his house and off his property immediately. (Hopefully the renters ignored Nick's incredible silliness.) Throughout the book, we get hints that Nick is a pacifist. Then, in the final pages, we learn that he took the trip after he was fired for being involved in an anti-war demonstration before the Gulf War started. One has to suspect that there is more to this than Nick admits to because it is hard to imagine a boss firing an employee simply because they were part of a peace march. Anyway, being fired shook him up so much that he apparently felt the need to run away and "find himself." Geesh! One gets the feeling that Nick is naively content to let others defend the freedoms that he enjoys but he will refuse to defend the freedoms passed to him by the sacrifices of others. I guess he is content to just let others pay the price for his freedom. Of course, I am making assumptions here and I may be wrong but that's the feeling I get. In fact, I got that feeling before he even revealed that he was fired for being a peace demonstrator. (I wonder if he is part of the current Occupy Wall Street movement!) :-) In another part of the book, Nick tells of his fear when an apparently drunk man approached him and his new girlfriend along the shore. For no apparent reason, Nick became very fearful and as the man neared him, Nick put his paddle in front of him as a defensive weapon. Later he feels great remorse when he thinks of how he almost resorted to violence to protect him and his girlfriend. I guess Nick is thinks self-defense is immoral! That's probably why he wanted to take the the right of self-defense away from the people renting his house. The funny thing is that the drunken man who approached him was of no apparent threat in the first place. In fact, the man helped Nick launch his canoe. This odd fearfulness on Nick's part surfaces several times in the book...
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