Customer Reviews

Robo Vampire

5 star:		(5)
4 star:		(0)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(2)

 

 

This movie is so unbelievably beyond the scope of the human language that I feel the only way to properly start my review is to simply create a new word and have its meaning be tied to this movie. And here goes:

Pandalerious

This movie is so pandalerious that I dont even know where to begin. I could start at the beginning of the movie, but thats where I started when I watched it, and I still dont know what the actual plot of the movie was about. Drugs I think. Vampires definitly. And lets not forget the love scene between a ghost-woman and a man in an ape costume. Of course, no vampire can stand up to Robo Warrior. Now on the cover of the movie, clearly you can see Robo Cop headlocking a vampire. Not only is Robo Cop NOT in this movie, there are also NO headlocks whatsoever! Instead we get some goon in a teflon oven mitt costume that cant even take a few rockets to the chest without turning into a flaming dummy made out of tinfoil (special effect #1). Of course, Robo Warrior comes back for the final revenge, when he turns the evil master of the vampires into a flying pile of sheets draped onto a coathanger suspended by a wire (special effect #2)

To conclude, I will say that if you like terrible movies, this one is for you

Otherwise, do yourself a favor and go see Zero Tolerance

This movie has it all: Indiscriminate use of fireworks in place of special effects. Tin foil robot stunt double. Second generation ultra powerful hopping vampire as identified by dollar store gorilla mask. Ghost and gorilla-vampire romance. Jedi trained robo-cop ripoff. Drug lord that looks like Bert from Tremors. The list goes on and on.

They say 'dont judge a book by its cover'. That could not be more true here. Robo-cop (or anything that could be mistaken for robocop even in poor lighting) is not in this movie. There are no robot vampires only a robot warrior that ineffectually combats drug smuggling vampires. There are no headlocks, helicopters, or explosions comparable to those depicted on the cover.

Take two movies, quite possibly the worst movies of all time, and use them to build a mutant hybrid bad movie. That might describe Robo Vampire.

That said, I loved it. Best <$5 I have ever spent. If you purchase this movie be prepared to go frame by frame or in slow motion at any moment to dissect some unbelievably terrible film making.

The back cover picture on the Amazon product page indicates that some part of this product is made in Canada. As a Canadian this one of the most insulting, libellous statements I have ever come across.

Just terrible. A slow-motion cinematic train wreck. Effects so cheap and a plot so atrocious, it would embarrass Ed Wood.

This is the worst movie I have ever seen,Laughed all the way through it,a must own.

this is the worst movie I, and probably EVERYBODY, have ever seen! I have no words to describe it, and I cannot believe it came out on dvd! this is so awful we laugh all the movie long! the vampires jumping like rabbits, the fake blood, the stupid argument...this is really the number one movie on BAD MOVIES! this is even worse than TROMA movies! this is....I'm speachless...

The vampires bunny hop its a classic

WOW! Imagine soaking a bowl of Fruit Loops cereal ith soda pop, downing it down with Pop Tarts, and the resulting head rush -- ROBO VAMPIRE is the cinematic equivalent! YOU GOTTA SEE THIS!