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Rock Stars Do The Dumbest Things Paperback – July 15, 1998

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Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Margaret Moser is the senior editor of the Austin Chronicle and director if the Austin Music Awards. Bill Crawford, a pop-culture journalist, is the co-author of Stevie Ray Vaughan: Caught in the Crossfire. Both reside in Austin, Texas.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

Rock Stars Do Dumbest Things
AC/ DC
DUMBEST QUOTE
"My fantasy [guitar] would be a cannon that shot sperm at the, audience." (Angus Young)
FACTS OF LIFE (and Death)
RINGLEADERS: Angus Young (guitar)--born March 31,1955, Glasgow, Scotland; Malcolm Young (guitar)--born January 6, 1963, Glasgow, Scotland; Bon Scott (vocals)--born Ronald Belford Scott, July 9, 1946, Angus, Scotland, died February 20, 1980; the coroner's report declared that Scott had "drunk himself to death"; Brian Johnson (vocals)--born October 5, 1947, Newcastle, England.
SELECTED HITS (and Misses)
SONGS: "Big Balls" (1976), "Whole Lotta Rosie" (1977), "For Those About to Rock (We Salute You)" (1981), "Mistress for Christmas" (1990), "Got You By the Balls" (1990), "Moneytalks" (1981).
QUICKIE BIO
When the Australian brothers Malcolm and Angus Young saw their brother George playing in his own rock band, they decided that they could do a lot better. So in 1973, the two teamed up to create AC/DC. Original vocalist David Evans was soon replaced by wildman Bon Scott, who drank himself to death in 1980 and was replaced by Brian Johnson. Though the band changed singers, AC/DC never changed its look or its music.
AC/DC DOES THE DUMBEST THINGS
Before putting together AC/DC, Malcolm Young played with the Velvet Underground. No, not the Velvet Underground. Young's bandmates were Australians who simply stole the name.
When he first started performing, Angus Young wasn't sure what to wear onstage. First he tried a gorilla suit. Then he tried a Zorro outfit. His sister suggested that he wear an Australian schoolboy's outfit. It suited Angus perfectly.
The Young brothers claimed that when they named their band AC/DC, they didn't realize that the electrical term was also slang for bisexual. The ambiguous name worked in their favor, as the band was hired to play many gay-themed gigs when they were just starting out.
Despite its ambiguous name, AC/DC developed into a hard-core heterosexual act. Boob-loving fans were excited to learn that Malcolm worked as a sewing-machine maintenance mechanic in a bra factory.
After AC/DC hit the big time, a voluptuous (42-39-56) strong-armed singer brought Scott back to her place and mated with him. Allegedly,Scott was her twenty-ninth sexual conquest that month. The band dedicated a song to the well-endowed temptress--"Whole Lotta Rosie."
After a show in San Antonio, Texas, an intoxicated Scott proved what kind of a man he was by drinking a whole bottle of "liquor" in one gulp. Unfortunately, the bottle he downed was a bottle of aftershave.
Angus Young liked to get physical onstage. "I've jumped off amps and fallen ass over tit," confessed Young. "Made a complete fool of myself." When he broke his fingers, he put splints on them and used them to play slide guitar.
American soldiers found a use for AC/DC music. During the 1989 invasion of Panama, U.S. troops blasted out "Highway to Hell" at top volume in order to drive strongman Manuel Noriega out of the Vatican Embassy. When Johnson heard that AC/DC music was being used for psychological torture, the singer shrugged, "I guess now we won't get to play for the Pope."
When one journalist complained that AC/DC had made ten records that all sounded the same, Angus was insulted. "He's a liar," fumed Young. "We've made eleven albums that all sound the same."
ROCK STARS DO THE DUMBEST THINGS. Copyright © 1998 by Margaret Moser and Bill Crawford. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews. For information, address St. Martin's Press, 175 Fifth Avenue, New York, N.Y 10010.
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 304 pages
  • Publisher: Renaissance Books (July 15, 1998)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1580630235
  • ISBN-13: 978-1580630238
  • Product Dimensions: 6 x 0.7 x 9 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 9.1 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 3.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (24 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #836,098 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

13 of 13 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on September 3, 1998
Format: Paperback
This is a very funny book...Get two copies! I couldn't put it down, and when I did, someone else picked it up and walked away with it. Whether you love rock stars, or think they're dumb, you'll like this book and laugh alot. What *did* Ted Nugent do with that bowl of guacamole, or was it whipped cream?
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10 of 10 people found the following review helpful By EA Solinas HALL OF FAMETOP 500 REVIEWERVINE VOICE on December 2, 2003
Format: Paperback
With a title like "Rock Stars Do the Dumbest Things," you'd expect it to be hundreds of pages long. But Moser and Crawford focus mainly on the dumbest of the dumb, the most bizarre antics of any celebs out there. It's a dopey bathroom book, but at least it delivers the goods.
In this book, the various "dumbest things" of various rock stars and groups are included, ranging from the "aging rock geezers" like Mick Jagger (who disappointed a pair of very imaginative groupies), the weird but lovable Ozzy Osbourne before his hit TV show (he is sick of being asked about the bat thing) and Aerosmith (Steven Tyler used to shoot nuns' livestock). There are guys who never were old enough to be aging rock geezers like Jim Morrison (who got attacked by a furious old lady who thought he had yelled "look at those t*ts" at her) and Keith Moon (who once danced naked on the Jaggers' table). There are the weirdos of yesterday who are still around (like Michael Jackson -- nuff zed). There are three out of the four Beatles. And there are bands and singers of today, such as Courtney Love (who punched her husband on first acquaintance), Oasis (they like to hit each other too), and Bjork (once destroyed a nightclub).
For each band or singer, there's not merely a listing of their idiotic stunts. Oh no. Their listings of greatest hits and/or movie roles are included, as well as stupid quotes ("If God wants me to become a woman, then a woman I will become" -- very deep, Mick; "I like Beethoven, especially the poems"). The tone is wry and witty.
There are some problems with this book. For one thing, some of the material is definitely of the urban legend variety.
Read more ›
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful By Anthony Nasti on July 11, 2005
Format: Paperback
I love rock and roll. Listening to it, talking about it, dancing to it, everything. And I love reading about it. And this book is without a doubt the best and funniest book I have ever read.

Whether or not the stuff in it is 100 % true, it is definitely good for a few laughs. While most of the stuff, such as The Who trashing the Holiday Inn, Rod Stewart's stomach pumping, Jim Morrison's indecent exposure act and Ozzy Osbourne's bat biting are all pretty well known incidents, this book is filled with interesting and hilarious tidbits about rock stars and their stupid antics. Legends like AC/DC, Elton John, Aerosmith, The Who and others are featured in this book, and some of the things they do are enough to make you fall on the floor laughing.

Granted, it's not without its flaws. I was disappointed with the Rod Stewart and Kiss stuff, and The Carpenters and John Denver really shouldn't be in here. But, other than these complaints, this book is outright hilarious. The funniest is the five page chapter on Michael Jackson. The doo doo language, the confetti throwing, his ttying to fly - everything about him is one laugh after the other.

This is definitely a book I'd recommend. Purchase it as soon as you can and prepare to laugh yourself silly.
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6 of 6 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on October 3, 1998
Format: Paperback
Incredible collection of must-have information about the rock stars we all love and thought we knew. Awesome book to have at parties! And I thought The Monkees were a real band! I'm crushed!
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful By Kab00m on August 18, 2004
Format: Paperback
The beauty of this book is it lets you witness the insanity of the rock star lifestyle without having to pay to consequences. I laughed out loud the whole way through.

Some of the low-rated remarks state that it is poorly researched. Even if some of the stories have been exagerated over the years, who cares? Some things become legendary for the better. They make for better tales. Would you rather the authors go on a mission to debunk any possibilities of embellishment? What a great book that would make.

In closing, if you like the wildness of Rock & Roll, you will love this book. Otherwise, I banish you to the land of John Tesh!
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful By Krista-Lea on October 29, 2002
Format: Paperback
The theme here is drugs meshed with money. For almost all the "rockers" drugs are mentioned. Moser and Crawford have an array of musicians from Spinal tap to madonna and list birth dates, places of birth, some hit songs and films if applicable, dumb quotes and idiotic things they have done. I have to wonder about the authenticity of alot of the things, but then again money can be poison. It isnt a book for teens there is alot of sex, violence and drugs. It can be interesting, albeit embarassing for those listed. If there isnt a thing better to read, give it a whirl.
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8 of 10 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on January 27, 2004
Format: Paperback
Margaret Moser and Bill Crawford live in fantasy land? What a waste of money. Obviously these two clowns have not done any proper research and have filled the book with lots of myths and wildly exaggerated stories. I'm particularly peeved with the Keith Moon stuff, complete rubbish. Keith's antics have been well researched by other people and what these two have used are stories that are well known to be grossly exaggerated. They have basicly taken the most stupid myths and exaggerated stories from other peoples work, put in no research, and expect people to buy it. I wish I hadn't!! Save your money.
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