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73 of 75 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
C.J. Mahaney at His Best, August 23, 2005
This review is from: Sex, Romance, and the Glory of God (With a word to wives from Carolyn Mahaney): What Every Christian Husband Needs to Know (Hardcover)
I felt a deep sense of deja vu as I read Sex, Romance, and the Glory of God. It took me only a few pages to realize that this book, in a condensed form, forms the basis for a chapter in Sex and the Supremacy of Christ (edited by John Piper and Justin Taylor). I had enjoyed that particular chapter of Sex and the Supremacy of Christ and felt certain I would likewise enjoy this lengthened version.
Sex, Romance, and the Glory of God is based loosely on the Song of Solomon. C.J. Mahaney shares my understanding of this book of the Bible stating simply, "It's about sex" (page 9). While many have attempted to allegorize Solomon's song, few have succeeded with any degree of credibility. "That's right gentlemen." says Mahaney, "Solomon's Song of Songs is an entire book of the Bible devoted to the promotion of sexual intimacy within the covenant of marriage. It's an eight-chapter feast of unbridled, uninhibited, joyous immersion in verbal and physical expressions of passion between a man and a woman" (page 10). Amen. So as the reader prepares to read this book, he must prepare to celebrate God's gift of sex. The author says, "The purpose of the book you hold in your hands is to lead us back into God's ideal of joyful, unashamed, indulgent, loving sexuality in the context of marriage" (pages 14-15). This book is directed primarily to men, largely because it is the husband's role (not an author's) to lead his wife into a fuller understanding of what Scripture teaches about sexuality. Mahaney will provide the foundation men can build upon to discover with his wife how sex and romance can be done to the glory of God.
Following an introductory chapter Mahaney uncovers the divine purpose for marriage. This, he teaches, is to reflect the relationship between Christ and the Church. He goes on in the next chapter to provide a piece of wisdom he considers the most important in the entire book: "In order for romance to deepen, you must touch the heart and mind of your wife before you touch her body" (page 28).
Several chapters follow in which Mahaney offers specific ways of touching a wife's heart and mind in order to build the type of relationship God desires for a marriage. Turning to the actual act of consumation, he follows Solomon's lead, providing little in the way of specific details that might read like a to-do list. Instead he invites us to study and understand the Song of Solomon to understand what Solomon meant when he wrote, "Awake, O north wind, and come, O south wind! Blow upon my garden, let its spices flow. Let my beloved come to his garden, and eat its choicest fruits" (4:16).
The book concludes with a chapter written by Carolyn Mahaney (C.J.'s wife) addressed to women. It is the fifth chapter ("The Pleasure of Purity") of her book Feminine Appeal: Seven Virtues of a Godly Wife and Mother.
With lots of humor (much of it self-deprecating), but also compassion and sensitivity, Mahaney sets forth some principles that will bear much fruit in many marriages. He is honest about his book. "Please don't make the mistake of thinking that simply by reading this book you are being changed. I wish it were that easy. But change does not take place until we apply what we are learning in very specific ways, at very specific times, and always in dependence on God's grace to make our efforst effective" (page 35). This book is just the beginning. Far from a "10 Surefire Ways to Make Your Woman Melt" kind of book, Sex, Romance, and the Glory of God will lead the husband to see his wife as a remarkable God-given treasure. It will help the husband learn to see his wife in color while everyone else appears in mere black and white.
While it may seem strange, this book refreshed my joy in being a Christian. I was amazed at the wisdom of God who saw fit to give us an entire book of the Bible dedicated to teaching us how to love our spouses in a way that honors Him. Truly His Word is sufficient! Truly it is relevant! I was thankful that He has provided teachers to explain the Word to us. And I was renewed in my gratefulness towards Him for providing me the priceless treasure that is my wife.
So men, buy this book. I cannot imagine a husband who would gain nothing from it. Women, buy a copy and slip it into your husband's hand with a suggestive wink. He'll get the idea. Read it, enjoy it, and most of all, put it into practice. Learn how sex and romance can bring glory to the One who created them for our enjoyment.
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78 of 82 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Before You Touch Her Body, Touch Her Heart and Mind, July 26, 2004
This review is from: Sex, Romance, and the Glory of God (With a word to wives from Carolyn Mahaney): What Every Christian Husband Needs to Know (Hardcover)
That simple phrase is what all of us men need to hear: "Before you touch her body, touch her heart and mind." Cursorily using Song of Solomon as an illustration of true biblical covenant love, C.J. Mahaney has written one of the most useful books that I have ever read.
This book is written for men. Men need to step up and lead in romancing the marriage. Therefore Mahaney asks that men don't read this book with their wives. Great intimacy, including sex is something that every marriage should be full of. If that is missing, it is primarily the husband's issue that he needs to fix. Then in chapter 2 he moves on to give the biblical God-given purpose for marriage from Ephesians 5: "A profound mystery, revealed to all to see."
My favorite chapters then follow (3-6) in which Mahaney lets the readers draw from his life experiences, his successes and his failures, to help us with romancing our wives, touching their hearts and minds so that then touching their bodies is so much more intimate, frequent, and amazing. These chapters have been so useful to me. I'm not going to ruin it for you by giving you any of the advice here. But let me tell you that just taking advantage of the advice that he gives and the motivation that comes knowing that greater intimacy better glorifies God has already had a very noticeable impact in the two weeks since I finished my first reading of the book...so much so that my wife has told me whatever I read has changed me for the better.
Finally he ends in chapter 7 with a mild exposition of Song of Solomon 8:5-7, "Strong as Death, The Enduring Power of Covenant Love." Marital love goes beyond just sex, but sex is truly only as amazing as God designed it to be in the context of marriage. Marital love is forever, it isn't dependent on sexual ability; it isn't dependent on perfection; it isn't dependent on emotions. Marital love comes for God and is a reflection of God's love for the church.
Carolyn Mahaney, C.J.'s wife wrote the an appendix, "A Word to Wives" which I haven't read but have been told by my wife is very good. I too have noticed a difference in her since she has read that chapter and the book from which it comes "Feminine Appeal."
I strongly recommend you read this book. I am in the middle of reading it a second time and plan on reading it and putting to action its suggestions until the day I die.
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49 of 53 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Marriage as God intended it, October 5, 2004
This review is from: Sex, Romance, and the Glory of God (With a word to wives from Carolyn Mahaney): What Every Christian Husband Needs to Know (Hardcover)
Sex - God created it, the world abuses it, and most Christians are embarrassed by it.
The way the world treats sex is like using a Stradivarius violin to hammer in nails - a thing of wondrous beauty misused and trashed beyond all recognition. For years Christian men have been conned by TV, Hollywood and the press that marriage and sex is about personal pleasure. We have lost the vision of what God intended in marriage.
CJ Mahaney's book returns us to the maker's instructions and restores a much profounder biblical perspective of romance within marriage as God intended it. He uses the Song of Solomon to illustrate how men should treat their wives. He puts the masterpiece of marriage back into its God-given frame, showing the significance of what marriage demonstrates - the relationship between Christ and his people. He calls Christian men to selfless sacrificial love, like Christ's love for his Church. He calls men to be leaders, a much-needed truth; and to be thoughtful caring servant husbands, possibly a more needed truth.
One of the great lessons repeatedly brought home is: "Before you touch her body, touch her heart and mind."
Too often men are more focused on their needs and pleasures. This is not what God intended in marriage - a selfless giving by each person. Mahaney then proceeds to illustrate what this means, and to help us men with the task of romancing our wives, and to develop marriages that go way beyond the physical side of the relationship.
This book is a must read for all married men. Some may find Mahaney's frankness startling, but he deals with this delicate subject without being crude or explicit. Mahaney's wife, Carolyn, has added an appendix, "A Word to Wives", which contains much of what we might want to say to our wives, but are afraid to.
Read this book, and put his suggestions into practice so that in a world where marriage is unfashionable and often self-serving, we will be able to live God-honouring, God-glorifying marriages.
Men, buy it and surprise your wife. Ladies, buy it for your husbands.
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