Romancing the Shadow: Illuminating the Dark Side of the Soul [Hardcover]

Connie Zweig (Author), Steve Wolf (Author), Steve Wolf Ph. D. (Author), Connie Zweig Ph. D. (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: August 26, 1997

"One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light but by making the darkness conscious."
--C. G Jung

Within each woman and man, the dim cavern of the unconscious holds our forbidden feelings, secret wishes, and creative urges. Over time, these "dark" forces take on a life of their own, forming an intuitively recognizable figure--the shadow. A recurring theme in literature and legend, the shadow is like an invisible twin, a stranger that is us, yet is not us. When it acts out in the public domain, we witness our leaders, like hero-villains, fall from grace in scandal. Closer to home, we may feel overcome with rage, obsession, and shame or succumb to self-destructive lies, addiction, or depression. These appearances of the shadow introduce us to the Other, a powerful force that defies our efforts to tame and control it.

Steve Wolf, Ph.D., and Connie Zweig, Ph.D., innovators in the use of shadow-work in psychotherapy, have helped hundreds of clients in their encounters with the dark side. Seeing it--meeting the shadow--is a first step. Learning to live with it--romancing the shadow--is a life-long challenge. It means reading the messages encoded in the events of daily life in such a way that we gain consciousness, substance, and soul. In fact, shadow-work is soul work.

With shadow-work, we cultivate a deeper self-knowledge and authenticity. When we identify family shadow patterns, we move toward cultivating family soul. When we untangle romantic projections, we begin to build the soul of a relationship. When we face descent at midlife and meet the underworld shadow, we reclaim the unlived life of the soul. And when we retrieve our lost vitality and creative fertility--the gold in the dark side--we nurture the hungry soul.

The authors weave together the rich perspectives of Carl Jung and James Hillman, timeless Greek myths, and universal archetypal images with insightful contemporary stories from their clients' lives. They show that the shadow is not an error or a flaw; it is part of the natural order of who we are. And it is not a problem to be solved; it is a mystery to be faced. It has the power to connect us to the depths of our own imaginations.

This book, breathtaking in scope and eloquent in style, is a landmark investigation of the personal and archetypal dimensions of the soul's hidden face--the shadow.

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

According to authors Connie Zweig and Steve Wolf, each of us has shadows that hold forbidden feelings such as shame, jealousy, greed, lust, and rage. Left to their own devices these shadows will become destructive saboteurs--causing us to betray our loved ones as well as ourselves. It is not within our power to choose whether or not to have these shadows; however, Zweig and Wolf believe that it is within our power to take responsibility for our shadows and put them to productive use. Chapter by chapter Zweig and Wolf reveal the shadow side of love, parenthood, siblings, friendships, midlife, and work. Rather than deny or destroy these shadows, the authors show readers how to confront and "romance" them in order to access the energy, vitality, and creativity that usually lie dormant within our dark sides.

Review

"This book is a great help to anyone trying to tune in and listen to the voice of the soul. At last, a practical mysticism!"
--Coleman Barks
    Poet-translator of The Essential Rumi

"A compelling, evocative book that brilliantly elucidates the shadow in straightforward language. Shadow-work is our greatest challenge to becoming a global village."
--Marion Woodman
   Author of Dancing in the Flames:
   The Dark Goddess in the Transforming Consciousness

"A consummate and timely work . . . An exciting entry into the growing literature on the dark side of the soul. There is deep wisdom and nourishment here."
--New Age Journal

"Romancing the Shadow enables you to peel away the layers of your soul and get in touch with the purity of Being that lies within you."
--Deepak Chopra
   Author of Seven Spiritual Laws of Success
   and A Path to Love


From the Trade Paperback edition.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Hardcover: 348 pages
• Publisher: Ballantine Books; 1 edition (August 26, 1997)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0345417399
• ISBN-13: 978-0345417398
• Product Dimensions: 9.3 x 5.9 x 1.3 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.4 pounds
• Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (17 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #204,468 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Known as the Shadow Expert, I'm author of the bestsellers Meeting the Shadow and Romancing the Shadow. My next non-fiction book, The Holy Longing, explored religious/spiritual aspiration and its shadow side. I've just published my first novel -- THE MOTH TO THE FLAME -- about the life of Rumi. It's the inside story of how he became a poetic genius and fully illuminated Sufi master.
I'm also a former Esquire columnist, contributor to the LA Times, and executive editor at Jeremy P. Tarcher Publishing. I received a Ph.D. in depth psychology in 1995 and have worked in private practice since then.
You can find excerpts of all my books on www.conniezweig.com, as well as info on my counseling and shadow-work practice.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

46 of 47 people found the following review helpful:

3.0 out of 5 stars Useful for midlife reflection, June 9, 2000

By 

Peter A. Kindle (Kansas City, Missouri) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Romancing the Shadow: A Guide to Soul Work for a Vital, Authentic Life (Paperback)

Imagine yourself at a crowded conference table in a dark room. There are many present, but no role call. Each person is known only when he or she speaks, but you cannot speak. In fact, you sometimes cannot even hear. On the rare occassion that a light briefly shines, your eyes are usually closed. Every decision, reaction, thought and feeling in your life is determined by the voices at this conference. Usually the loudest and shrillest voice dominates. To the authors, this is a picture of your inner life.

The authors attempt to enlighten the reader so that he begins to bring the shadow people into the light. In essence the book is a call for conscious, intentional life. Instead of a mute observer and victim, the authors hope to strengthen the innermost Self so that the voices can be heard, not denied; heeded without dominating.

Like much written from a Jungian perspective, I found this book both frustrating and helpful. References to Greek myths multiply at an alarming rate, but I found that prior knowledge of the pregnant meaning of each myth name was not essential to benefit from this book.

The authors explore family of origin shadows, relationship shadows, shadows in the workplace and the midlife experience of shadow. Four primary defenses against self-awareness of the shadow occur as running themes: money, power, sex and addiction.

It is interesting that there is little or no reference to mortality, aging and legacy shadow issues. Perhaps the ages of the authors (at most 51 years?) has resulted in a less comprehensive view of shadow work. If so, I hope they will update this work in 20 years.

I recommend this work to others, like myself, who are consciously working through midlife questions. This book may open new vistas for these seekers. For those looking for a "how to" prspective, this book will be a disappointment, only nine pages provide practical advice.

37 of 39 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A "must read" for deep thinking people, September 3, 1999

By 

[e-mail] (Cincinnati, OH) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Romancing the Shadow: A Guide to Soul Work for a Vital, Authentic Life (Paperback)

Life often seems to consist of coping with one crisis after another in almost every arena of our lives. This is not a bad thing; matter of fact, life without conflict, drama and challenges would be quite boring. However, when the crises in our lives come to resemble a recurring nightmare, or the repetitive refrain on a broken record, we are at risk of moving into a place of hopeless despair and abject depression, to say nothing about high anxiety. At times like this, boredom might

look like an idyllic yet unattainable alternative. Advisedly, most of us seek help when such patterns begin to govern our lives and psyches. Unfortunately, many self-help programs, therapies and spiritual paths, while temporarily easing our angst, ultimately do not assist us in our need to move in a different direction. In writing

Romancing the Shadow: Illuminating The Dark Side Of The Soul,

Jungian psychotherapist Connie Zweig and clinical psychologist Steve Wolf have filled this deep void by providing insights, approaches and self-exploratory orientations that to date have not been accessible to the general public. Hailed by such people as Deepak Chopra and Larry Dossey as an important breakthrough, this book delivers what is promised in the first chapter which is called "Introduction to Shadow-Work".

In the past, shadow work has primarily consisted of meeting and confronting the dark side of ourselves and society. Zweig and Dossey take this effective technique one step further by showing us how to learn "to live with it" by realizing that "romancing the shadow", as opposed to fighting or attempting to eradicate it, "is a lifelong challenge". "Romancing the shadow means reading the messages encoded in the events of our daily lives in such a way that we gain consciousness, substance, soul. Romancing the shadow means meeting the shadow for a private rendezvous; eventually it means taking it seriously enough to

learn to embrace it in a long-term relationship."

This work is far too rich and deep for me to adequately review in this column, nor is it a light and breezy read: on the contrary, the authors suggest exploring the book by beginning with the segments that speak to you and to take time in absorbing and pondering the material at your own pace. I, for one, am glad I followed their advice! I highly recommend Romancing The Shadow as a perfect read during this season as we shift our focus from the external to the internal aspects of our lives.

**********************************************

This review originally appeared in the Journal "silent messages".

21 of 24 people found the following review helpful:

2.0 out of 5 stars Interesting topic, ineffective writing, April 27, 2003

By 

a seeker (Canberra, ACT Australia) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Romancing the Shadow: A Guide to Soul Work for a Vital, Authentic Life (Paperback)

Having just started to read about Jungian psychology, and taken an interest in the concept of the shadow, I approached this book in anticipation after reading Robert A Johnson's 'Owning your shadow'.While Johnson's book was concise and to the point,and very enjoyable to read, this book has been a boring read after the first couple of chapters. The ideas presented are sometimes repetitive and at other times just do not gel. You feel that you've read a profusion of sentences with a sprinkling of punctuations in between but with very little new information or insight as you go from page to page. I don't think I've learnt much, in theory or in practice. Will go to Debbie Ford's "The Dark side of the Light Chasers" now and hopefully find a more satisfying read.