Customer Reviews

Romantic Deception: The Six Signs He's Lying

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If you are dating and looking for an honest relationship...read this book. Caldwell writes in the first person and gets real close and personal. You feel as thought she is sitting in a room talking to you about recognizing the signs that tell you he is not being truthful. While the book focuses on men only...you have to ask yourself ....why? Surely women lie too. However, we are quickly made to understand why it is that men do most of the "stretching of the truth" to get what they want, "adding to and taking from" to cover their conduct. If you have been in one of these relationships, the author does not leave you with wondering - "so I've been in a deceptive relationship, now what?" She takes you through recovery and shows you ways to avoid falling into the same pattern of behavior. Caldwell also tells us how to discover whether or not our current relationships are honest ones. It is a subject that the author takes very seriously and a subject that needs to be addressed as a phenomenon that has been ignored and taken for granted. Excellent read.

After four months of a relationship that was getting more confusing every day, I read this book. Finally I started to understand that I was involved with someone who had been lying to me all along. This book really helped me understand what was happening in the relationship, why it was happening, and what I could do about it. Highly recommended!

This book will scare you. The case studies that Dr. Caldwell uses to explain how women get involved with Romantic Liars are real eye-openers. Instead of just dismissing deceptive relationships as mistakes on the part of the woman, Caldwell shows how our society provides a perfect basis for deception. In fact, one of the most valuable aspects of Caldwell's work is that she doesn't blame the victim.

With the compelling and intriguing stories as a backdrop, Caldwell presents a thoughtful analysis of the dynamics of deceptive relationships---how they got started, how they are maintained and how they frequently end. Like I said, this book will scare you---once you begin to understand how vulnerable to deception all of us really are.

Finally, somebody has written a book about a topic that is all too familiar....the big time and serious lying that goes on in a lot of relationships.

I found this book was the first I'd read that isn't just about superficial lying and isn't a superficial treatment of the subject. Dr. Caldwell really takes the subject apart and backs up what she says with lots of case studies. More than that, she offers solid advice about what to do when you're mixed up with a liar.

In my opinion, every woman should read this book! Thanks!

After many years on Amazon and many books, this is the first review I am compelled to write.

I'm an educated, successful woman in my early 30's, and have just gone through a classic romantic deception (I never thought I would be 'stupid' enough to fall for such schlock). All of us are susceptible, and if we were only taught early on, we would be much less so. The material in this book should be shared in a seminar format with every young woman in high school.

This book has great substance and covers much more than 'the six signs', including getting out of the involvement safely (as these men are often dangerous) and getting over it (in the chapter 'Some things you need to know'), as well as nipping it in the bud should such a situation possibly present itself again (in the chapter 'Survival guide').

Importantly, it helps you to understand that if you've gone through this it's not because you're an idiot. And, if you haven't gone through it, you are naieve to think that you're too smart to. Basically, if you are an honest person yourself, it is normal for you to expect that those around you are honest - especially in intimate situations. But, shockingly, this is not always the case. This book helps you to become aware of the worst type of dishonesty that is out there, and how to spot it before you get used (or come to grips with it if you already have been).

I think this knowledge will also help one to be more appreciative when they really have come across a great catch, which can only be truly known after careful scrutiny - and this book certainly helps with the scrutiny part.

Buy it. It's a small investment with a big return for your heath and safety.

Another dirty little secret is out in the open. Dr. Caldwell tells stories of women we all know and explains what happens.This is a must read for every woman of dating age. Whether 16 or 60, women need to understand what Dr. Caldwell writes about. Those that do not believe this is real just have not had it happen to them. If you have experienced it, you will find that this book helps deal with the anger and humiliation and then shows you ways to make sure it never happens again.

While this book is written with the male being the Romantic Liar, it applies equally to the reverse situation.

This is a very important book and should be read by everyone who wants a better understanding of the dynamics of the romantic relationship process. The book is filled with actual case studies. Some are truly heart breaking and it is fairly easy to think that you could never be duped by some smooth talking Romantic Liar. As Dr. Caldell points out, it can and does happen to well adjusted people.

Not only does Sally do a great job of pointing out six of the tell tale signs of a Romantic Liar, she goes into great detail concerning the healing process. If you have been or are currently in a deceptive relationship, this is the most important part of the book. All too often people think they are able to change their partner. As Dr. Caldwell points out, it will not happen. It is difficult enough to change our own behavior, even when we want to. It is nearly impossible to change the behavior of someone else. And the Romantic Liar would be one of the toughest to change.

The best advise for anyone caught in an abusive or deceptive relationship is to leave as quickly as possible. While we all have the desire to let a person know that we know how low life they are, there is nothing to be gained by confrontation and often it can cost you - not the person you have the confrontation with. Just don't do it.

While the book was written for women, it gives great insight into the dynamics of romantic relationships. Even though the book deals with highly dsyfuncational relationships, it can offer some insight and guidelines into all relationships.

Well worth reading.

The author obviously knows what she's writing about. This book is for every young woman who has the notion that life holds a special mate for her. There are many men out there who learn what it takes to dupe a woman and make a game of it. Reading this and learning the signs will be a reality check for women who've found that one true love. Now it's time for Sally to write about those who learned after the fact of marriage-down the road 20 years or so later-that we had been victimized by romantic deceptors!

This book is the most telling insightful book ever written about lying. It can happen to you (regardless of age, financial circumstance, education, looks etc.)---that's the biggest thing to recognize---prepare yourself. I am buying this book for all of my single friends. I read it cover to cover and it gave me everything I needed to assess the situation, understand why it happened, heal, act, and prevent it again.

This book is for women who want to be able to spot a romantic liar before they get in too deep...or if they have gotten in too deep, how to get out.

How women are socialized can often play a big part in how they become vulnerable to romantic lies. The author says it's a misconception that only gullible people fall for these lies or there must be something within a woman that makes her want this kind of relationship and, therefore, there's no such thing as an unwilling victim.

These are misconceptions because these liars are very clever and not easy to catch if you don't know what to look for.
For example, one woman was telling her boyfriend that only a fool couldn't detect a cheating boyfriend...little did she know she was telling this to the boyfriend who was cheating on her.

To be able to spot a liar, it's necessary to know what type of person would handle life's problems this way.
The author helps you detect the characteristics of men who chronically lie as well as tells you the 6 signs you may already be in a relationship with one.

She shows you the methods they use to lie....falsification, concealment, diversion, exaggeration, and understatement...as well as how they're able to get away with this by making sure at least part of their lie is plausible and believable.

And for these liars "no lie was too big, no topic was too sacred, no lie was one too many."
For example, one man wanted a woman to be his mistress...in order to get her to cooperate, he lied and told her his wife was dead in order to play on her sympathy.

Once you realize you're involved with a romantic liar, the next step, according to the author, is to leave. She tells women that since these men are willing to operate outside social convention, that should be seen as a major red flag. Women who believe their love will conquer all...that her love will inspire him to start giving honesty a try is living in denial...and I agree.

I respect that this author is willing to take a firm stand on this...I've read other books where authors tell you to hang in there, give them another try, change your communication technique, be more understanding, and so on...and I agree with the author that this is wishful thinking.

She shows women how to be smart about leaving a romantic liar. These men are controlling and unpredictable. One minute they're abusive and angry, the next they're begging for forgiveness. Their lies serve as a security blanket...take that away and they can become dangerous.

Although I found the whole book helpful, my favorite part was when the author advises women to trust their intuition...something I think a lot of women don't do and it gets them into trouble. Your intuition, that gut feeling, is usually the best indicator that you're involved with a romantic liar.

Finally, the book ends with stories of women who've been there and back, lessons they've learned and what they do now to make sure they will never get ensnared in that trap again.

Overall, I think this is a wise and much needed book. Highly recommended.