Customer Reviews

Romantic Jealousy: Causes, Symptoms, Cures

5 star:		(4)
4 star:		(1)
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2 star:		(4)
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I am an extremely jealous (delusionally/abnormally jealous) person, and it is something I really wanted to change about myself. I believe that psychological, cultural, psychoanalytic, and situational factors all contribute to one's jealousy or lack thereof, and the prospect of ridding myself of it seemed both desirable and daunting. But reading this book has given me the confidence that I can, if not completely overcome my jealousy, at least channel my feelings correctly, understand the roots of the jealousy, and react with a more appropriate response.

This book has done an excellent job of both getting out on paper some of the thoughts I've been trying to convey both to myself and to my boyfriend, as well as providing me with some new ways to understand my jealous feelings and tactics for conquering them.

Some reviewers have said that the book offers no "cure" for jealousy. Of course it doesn't--I don't think any book on jealousy, or any other issue, for that matter, has the power to cure. Rather, it has to come from within, with the book to guide you.

I am certainly not "cured" of my jealousy--changes like that don't happen overnight from reading one book. But this book has given me the much-needed jumpstart to begin conquering it.

This book has saved the most important relationship of my life! I have already changed my life for the better and I just finished this book two weeks ago. My boyfriend of three years noticed the change immediately and is thrilled with the "new" me. Before this book, I thought my jealousy was caused by my cheating ex-husband. It opened my eyes to a much deeper beginning in my childhood with a parent who cheated and the feelings of insecurity that came from that. If you have uncontrollable fears of jealousy, you must read this book.

this book was very informative...but I don't feel that it gave me what I was looking for. I was hoping to get more on how to turn jealousy around. On a positive note, it does give different situations and the aspect of the nonjealous partner - so in that respect, it was an eye opener. But I felt it didn't give enough information on how to cope and rise above jealousy.

Jealousy is probably one of the most-asked-about situations on my website. Either guys are jealous of their girlfriends going and talking to other guys, or girls are jealous about the attention their guys get when they're out, or girls are trying to make their guys jealous so they start getting paid attention to ... the list goes on and on.

What makes jealousy so powerful? How can it be such a destructive force in a relationship, when many times it's not even based on any 'real situation'?

This book is a HUGE help when looking at jealousy. Whether you tend to be a bit too jealous yourself, or whether you're dealing with a partner who tends to be overjealous of you, the book gives real life examples of situations, and practical advice on how to deal with them.

Just about every relationship has run into jealousy problems at one point or another. They CAN be worked through. I highly suggest this book as a great way to help improve your own relationship.

This book seemed to be aimed more at other therapists than at average people. The language, though readable, was full of clinical terms that made the content seem less relavent to me. It gave numerous examples of how different people react to different situations, but never really specifies how to solve "abnormal jealousy". The book's sub-title says "Causes, Symptoms, Cures", but I found no cures for my situation. There was only stuff on how to deal with normal jealousy that is caused by situations that are likely to arouse that emotion in most people (like one person cheating on another).

Yes jealousy is normal, I know that, it's a part of caring for someone. But how do you deal with someone who is very possessive? Who sees intimate relationships with others when there is none? This book doesn't deal with any of that. It's chock full of information about jealousy in general, but this book was of no use to me whatsoever.

This book really helped me understand why I was feeling jealous and, more importantly, how to start feeling better. A lot of the book dealt with jealousy caused by a cheating partner, which didn't apply to me, but overall the book was wonderful. Also very readable--a lot of interesting background about jealousy in different cultures. Overall, an excellent resource for people plagued by jealousy who really want to free themselves from the awful feelings associated with it.

Ayala Malach Pines
Romantic Jealousy:
Causes, Symptoms, Cures

(New York: Routledge, 1998) 303 pages
(ISBN: 0-415-92010-8; paperback)
(Library of Congress call number: BF575.J4P4715 1998)

A psychotherapist discusses the many dimensions of conventional jealousy,
especially as seen among clients.
Sometimes jealousy is completely baseless and irrational.
People suffer fantasy fears for psychological reasons,
for instance when the 'rival' is long gone or even dead.
She suggests various psychological methods
for coping with pathological jealousy.

The author believes that 'normal jealousy'
may even be a healthy sign in a relationship.

This book does not break any new ground,
but it might be a place to begin
for readers who have read nothing on jealousy before.

Better books on jealousy will be found in the following bibliography:
"Best Books on Jealousy".
Search the Internet for those exact words.

James Leonard Park, author of
New Ways of Loving:
How Authenticity Transforms Relationships.

I bought this because I had some unresolved issues and it doesn't trade for actually talking them out. Good if you ARE a counselor and can use the onfo, if not, save your money and go see one.

I came to this book after reading "Falling in Love," Pines' newest book. I LOVED "Falling in Love" (no pun intended!) so I decided to try this book out. Once again, I was totally shaken and amazed to discover how things she was writing about related to me and my life - they were things that made intuitive sense the minute I read them, but never occured to me before. Reading Pines' books is like one big "Eureka!!" experience. Highly recommended!!

This book is probably very appropriate for those people who want in-depth analysis. I prefer self-help books written in a conversational style.