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Royal Flush [Kindle Edition]

Scott Bartlett
3.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (63 customer reviews)

Print List Price: $12.99
Kindle Price: $2.99
You Save: $10.00 (77%)
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Kindle Edition $2.99  
Paperback $12.99  
Burning Down George Orwell's House
Burning Down George Orwell's House
Pulitzer Prize and PEN/Faulkner Award finalist Robert Stone describes Burning Down George Orwell's House as a "… most enjoyable, a witty, original turn … one part black comedy and one part a meditation on modern life. It is well-written and truly original." Learn more about the author, Andrew Ervin

Book Description

The King enjoys being king. He enjoys executing anyone who annoys him, he enjoys avoiding responsibility at all costs, and he enjoys keeping his mother in the dungeon where she can’t bother him with her nagging.

But the King yearns for the love of a woman. Unfortunately, women find him repulsive, for the very things he enjoys doing most. Undeterred, the King tries dazzling them with his riches. When that doesn't work, he tries printing propaganda in the Kingdom newspaper. Finally, he even tries pretending to be a nice guy, while he’s attempting to steal his royal fiddler’s girlfriend.

Soon, the King’s misguided quest for love comes to threaten his very position on the throne. If he can’t manage to change his ways at last, he won’t only be forever alone – he will also be usurped, and his monarchy will be replaced by something far more wretched, like (shudder) a democracy.

"Several times, my daughter would ask what I was laughing at. It was in those moments that I began to realize how much I was enjoying this book." - Transformed Non-Conformist

Winner of the H. R. (Bill) Percy Prize from the Writers’ Federation of Nova Scotia

Editorial Reviews


"Extremely well-written." - Jury for the H. R. (Bill) Percy Prize
"Royal Flush is one of those books I could read over and over again." - The Bibliophilic Book Blog
"A very entertaining book." - Eastern Sunset Reads
"Recommended for anyone who loves to laugh." - The Coffee Pot

About the Author

Scott Bartlett has been writing fiction since he was 15. His medieval comedy novel Royal Flush received the H. R. (Bill) Percy Prize, and his contemporary novel Taking Stock received both the Percy Janes First Novel Award and the Lawrence Jackson Writers' Award. He also recently placed 2nd in Grain Magazine's Canada-wide Short Grain short story competition.

Product Details

  • File Size: 584 KB
  • Print Length: 208 pages
  • Simultaneous Device Usage: Unlimited
  • Publisher: Mirth Publishing (August 18, 2013)
  • Sold by: Amazon Digital Services, Inc.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B00EN9XPD8
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Not Enabled
  • Lending: Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #587,596 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

3.8 out of 5 stars
3.8 out of 5 stars
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
10 of 11 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Fun Read! February 27, 2012
By Lina
This book was a lot of fun to read! When I first started reading it I couldn't figure out what it was reminding me of. I finally put my finger on it: Monty Python! The story has a fun plot with lots of twists and turns. Lots of good laughs and satire on our society and what the meaning of love is.
You will love this book for the great comedic satire and fantastic plot!
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Bumbled into a good story September 5, 2013
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
I needed a comic break and this book provided it. I laughed out loud for the first half. Then I started to get bored with the continuing stupidity so I quit and moved onto something else. Later I came back and finished it and realized that it bumbled into being a pretty good story with some interesting life commentary.
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6 of 8 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars a bit too silly for me January 2, 2013
Format:Kindle Edition
If you like really silly books, this is one for you. Personally, it is a little too silly for me. If the central character, the king, was a little more believable it would have helped but, unfortunately, he, like all the characters, were rather one dimensional. A certain amount of stereotyping is excusable in comedy, but here every character was just transparently shallow. When a character is too stupid and has no redeeming characteristics, the reader has a hard job caring about him and what is supposed to be funny falls flat.

I've read some excellent books in the humorous fantasy category, but they all had, along with believable and likeable characters, some social or political comment that gave them a bite that this one lacked.

In its favour, the copy was clean, and each of the stories - the book consisted of four stories about the same characters - was well constructed and paced. The prose was simple and effective, suitable to the style of book. All it needs is more work on the characters and preferably some point to it.

I received a free copy from the author in exchange for an honest review
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars The Essence of Pratchett. October 3, 2013
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
If Terry Pratchett were ever to retire, Scott Bartlett could easily fill his shoes. Scott truly has the gift of writing. This story is indeed a blend of Terry Pratchett and Douglas Adams. It keeps you interested as well as entertained from start to finish. The characters are very likeable and the story is fun. I am looking forward to his next book!
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Hilarious and Wonderful Novel December 5, 2012
Scott Bartlett dishes up a hand of hilariousness in his novel, Royal Flush. Which, surprisingly, doesn't have a poker game.

I was consistently ambushed by the characters, plot, and the overall comedic tone of this novel. And I loved it.

The King, also known as Mud the Marauder in later chapters, needs a wife. But he doesn't want one. A few prospects he even tosses in the dungeon, with his mother. A fate that no citizen deserves. The King's a little shy on morality, but has an overabundance of executions. He even manages to fall in love. A few times. Though the women always seem to leave him for someone else.

Readers will have an easy time connection with the King based on the hilarity of the novel. How can readers not like someone who has absolutely no ambitions and likes to steal from people to the point in which people want him to steal their belongings? It's chaotic, crazy, and lovely. To say the least.

Bartlett crafts the plot in a wide arc of unfortunately funny situations. Often jumping back and forth between the past and present, really giving the reader an entire painting of the King's life. Which another character is writing as the reader is reading. The story line revolves around love and how the King just can't find it. And the problems that occur when he does.

Royal Flush is a refreshing and extraordinary novel involving all the duties a King doesn't do. Recommended for anyone who loves to laugh.
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3 of 4 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Fantasy Fun October 22, 2012
This book seemed really strange to read at first and it is certainly original in concept. There are shades of Monty Python, and Michael Palin, and John Cleese would be perfectly cast as the King in a film of this story. The story romps along with a despicable main man, The King, whose name is later changed to Mud when he is dethroned. It is mainly based on the king searching for a wife and getting into all kinds of trouble.
There are some hilarious passages, like the one describing the handicapping method for the polo match which I am tempted to borrow and develop for my scrabble games. The story jumps back and forward in time a few times but remains fast moving and really amusing.
The writing is flawless and there are terrific one liners, i.e.
(Alice says) `This better be amusing.' If Alice's idea of `amusing' included shameless melodrama and partial nudity she was in for a real treat.
No one is impressed with this King, he beats puppies, executes people on a whim and locked his mother in the dungeons for years, but perversely you can't help but like him.
I particularly liked the fact that he hanged people 'for being really annoying.'
There are so many interesting characters and bit parts, like Pablo the prophet who got thing wrong because his timing was a bit off, or the adviser who apparently rises from the grave, and Gertrude (mother) who rides the desert plains berating people for not ironing their clothes.
There is a `not very happy ever after ending' which I won't say very much about and you would never guess it anyway, but all told this is a good original amusing book.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars so if thats what you like, this is the book for you
I found this book to be so amusing. Monty Python type humor, so if thats what you like, this is the book for you, I would love to find more books like this.
Published 4 days ago by becky B
5.0 out of 5 stars Laugh-out-loud Funny!!
A laugh-out-loud, Monty Pythonesque story about an inept king and the oddballs that inhabit his kingdom. A wildly funny, well-written satire. Well worth the purchase.
Published 8 months ago by M. Smith
5.0 out of 5 stars Easily one of the best books to cheer up a ...
A delightfully absurd tale of a king's trials and tribulations.
Easily one of the best books to cheer up a funky mood or shake off a nasty day. Read more
Published 10 months ago by JermEx
5.0 out of 5 stars A really funny read!
Just what it says in the title of my review.

I had a blast reading the book. The writing is sharp and fast paced but doesn't feel hurried. Read more
Published 10 months ago by Holly Lawrence
3.0 out of 5 stars Silly
There were parts of the tale that were funny, but. Comparing it to Monty Python would be inaccurate. It lacked the cleverness of Cleese, Palin, Idle, Jones, ChaPman. Read more
Published 13 months ago by Sentient sword
1.0 out of 5 stars Appropriate title - do NOT believe the great reviews
Wow - this book was bad. Can't believe I kept reading, but I thought, gee, with so many good reviews, it just has to get better, right? Wrong. It never improved. Read more
Published 13 months ago by retiredandlovinit
4.0 out of 5 stars A Novel Novel
I owned the book for awhile before I had the chance to finally get down and read it this past Christmas break.
Overall, it is a witty, if odd, narrative. Read more
Published 14 months ago by mark Brown
5.0 out of 5 stars Got it for FREE
I got this book for free when it was offered on one of my Facebook favorite walls. I read like there is no tomorrow and even more since I got my Kindle. Read more
Published 14 months ago by MetzyMom
3.0 out of 5 stars Strange
Kind of an obscene fairy tale. Had no idea what was happening. Dreary and forgettable. Sorry, had to stop midway.
Published 14 months ago by Nomadmom
5.0 out of 5 stars I found the Writing of this story to be genious! Funny and so...
It is one of a kind and I believed "The King" to be a rel person (most of the TIME LOL)
Published 15 months ago by Carol L. Johnson
Search Customer Reviews

More About the Author

Scott Bartlett was born 1987, in Newfoundland, Canada, where he currently lives. He has been writing fiction since he was 15.

Scott's fiction has won several awards, including the H. R. (Bill) Percy Prize for Royal Flush, as well as the Percy Janes First Novel Award and the Lawrence Jackson Writers' Award for Taking Stock.

His short fiction has received recognition as well. His story "The Proletarian" placed 2nd in Grain Magazine's Canada-wide Short Grain competition, and "Author's Note" was shortlisted for the 2014 Cuffer Prize.

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