Customer Reviews

Rule No. 5: No Sex on the Bus: Confessions of a Tour Leader

5 star:		(14)
4 star:		(3)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

I spent 2 years traveling all over the globe, and Thacker's stories are some of the funniest I have ever heard. This is a non-stop laugh-a-page book, and your insides will hurt afterward from all the stories. True blue Aussie humor, and a great read over and over!!!!

Brian Thacker joyfully recounts his adventures through Holland, Germany, Austria, Switzerland, Italy, Spain, and France in his compendium of tour-leader wisdom. He offers countless tidbits of advice (never leave your pasta unattended, head for the Macdonald's if you need a clean bathroom, include Bavaria on your German itinerary). He describes the perils of pretending to speak French (he ordered sixty baguettes instead of six) and advising his charges to "get lost." (He meant for them to wander through Venice without worrying about the map, but instead they missed the last vaporetto.) His only heartfelt complaint is that his passengers would ask him numerous ridiculous questions (Will my brother like this shirt?). Luckily, he was able to get revenge in many different ways. For example, he claimed that "Ausfahrt" was the name of a German town (it means "exit"), then delighted in watching the passengers' bewilderment as they kept passing towns of the same name! For would be tour-leaders, he offers tricks of the trade, such as re-Christening any church you can't remember the name of. As to Rule #5, perhaps it is impossible. On his tours, it was broken most often by his own bus driver!

Fun book about the adventures and misadventures of a European tour guide. Some really hilarious situations and some really unbelievably ignorant and shameless tourists. Some great tips on places to go and things to see. Enjoyed the book a lot! Four and 1/2 stars!

I have traveled to Europe many times, with adult groups and even as the leader of student groups. What Brian Thacker describes in his book is so true and funny, yet I know you will not believe all of it. I personally do not believe some of what he claims to have written in german on behalf of his travelers, but it makes for funny reading.

Do not pick up this book if you are looking for a travel planner for various locations and it is a bit dated, since some of the funniest stories are about German border crossings (most of which no longer exist due to the EU). But if you want a funny look at what can happen on the road when traveling with a group of strangers, this will fit the bill.

I've personally been on one of these tours and I can tell you this book is both right on the money and absolutley hilarious! I have some very from memories of my tour - and after leading 20 of them Brian sure has a good story or two to share.

A must for anyone with itchy travel feet.

I randomly bought this book at my local paper store!! Lucky me!! Such a great story - makes you want to hop on a tour bus tomorrow. It is beyond funny as well! Beware, will cause job envy though! :)

...because you will most certainly choke. I have never laughed so hard or repeatedly in such a long time. I absolutely enjoyed it and had to fight my family's grubby hands from taking it whenever I left it unattended. I wonder if the author still runs tours because I'd sign up, sell everything I own and show up at the bus in a heartbeat.

The author of this book worked as a tour guide through Europe. He has coalesced his experiences into this book of belly laughs that you'll literally devour in one weekend. Seriously, any armchair or real life traveller will get a laugh out of some of the zany stupidity of their fellow man as they read anecdote after anecdote of tourists doing what they do best - being dumb. As has been stated elsewhere, when people go on holidays they often leave their brains at home. And that's something I can wholeheartedly agree with.

As the book unfolds it actually makes you not only laugh at the stories herein but if you've even toured about Europe, or anywhere else for that matter, then you will probably also find yourself reminiscing about amusing things that occurred during your own adventures or unhinged characters you met along the way - my mind drifted back to that obviously senile Spanish bloke who accosted us in Madrid wanting to talk about killing English people in some sort of weird combination of Spanish and half forgotten English he'd picked up through life. I'm not going to spoil the fun by giving you any examples of what you can expect from this book. Rather, I am going to let you discover for yourself the fast paced fun of an irreverent look at travel from someone who was really there.

Not an academic book by any means but anyone with any shred of interest in travel literature should get something out of this book - and it would make a perfect gift for any travel buff you may know. All I can say is that after reading this I had a hangover in sympathy for all those suffered by the author and his charges throughout this book.

When I was 24 years old, I went on one of these bus tours of Europe and I had a blast. This book brought back fond memories of all the stupid things I did too. I look forward to reading the author's other books, I hope they're just as much fun as this book was.

If you haven't been to Europe and stayed at some of the campgrounds Contiki or Busabout (the hop on hop of backpacker version by the Contiki company) use, or done one of their trips yourself then you may well be forgiven for thinking Brian has exaggerated what goes on. Or the various tour guide's stupidness or lack of knowledge about each destination, but unfortunately this is non fiction.

I stupidly did Busabout for a few months (ended up just forgetting about the money spent on it and days left on the pass and trained it around from my remaining months in Europe) but can testify as to the Italian camp ground's used by this company facts and stories Brian gives. If anything he's actually holding back as to the poor state of the facilities, sleaziness of the staff and goings on of these places.

Brian tells stories where he made up facts to tell his tour on buildings and cities when he didn't know, something many a Busabout guide did as well although he does seem to be a lot more intelligent than a lot of them (to be fair there were a few good guides). I can remember one guide in Cologne, I asked where the fountain that has chocolate instead of water was (something if you're travelling with any females is a must see place), there's no such place he said, it was two blocks from where the bus parks.

Brian tells us of the $$ kickbacks he as guide gets from each service station, gift shop etc he brings his bus load tour into even when they clearly don't want to go there. This was something we all suspected on the buses I was on. For example one driver got lost on the way to Pisa (Thacker has examples of this in this book too) so the guide tells us we only have ten minutes to run to the square where the leaning tower is. Then a couple of kms down the motorway we pull into a service station/shop place for two hours.

You'll laugh your head off reading learning what goes on during these tours, as well as the stupidness of some of his tour members. You'd like to think it's fiction but, its not. This book is also a great reminiscing of destinations and as well, if you were unfortunate enough to stay at, the dodgey Italian/German campgrounds (the button to make the water work shower story he tells is so true) as well. Those who have been to Europe will probably get a bit more out of this but anyone will enjoy it! What makes the book work is that Brian is prepared to make fun of himself, admit where he stuffed up (such as not knowing he as an Australian needed a visa to enter Spain at the time) and just knows how to tell a tale!