Customer Reviews

Rules for the Unruly: Living an Unconventional Life

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I am a die-hard fan of Marion Winik. From my first exposure to her work in Texas Monthly magazine, I was hooked. So, I was taken aback when I was directed to the self help section for her latest title. Self help? Marion Winik pokes fun at self help books, she doesn't write them. Don't let catagory fool you. Once you pick up this book, you won't want put it down. Winik gives seven rules to live your life by, among them "mistakes need not be fatal", people are more important than possessions", and my favorite, "learn to use a semicolon". Drawing from her own colorful life, she shares an insight that is encouraging as well as forgiving. She does not shy away from expressing regret or acknowledging a mistake,laughing at the follies or excesses of youth. The best teachers are those who have learned from their own experiences, the best writers are those who are able to share their ideas and feelings. She accomplishes both. What makes this such an effective "self help" book is the tone. It is like sitting down and chatting with an old friend, remembering shared feelings and experiences, laughing at inexperience, cringing at now obvious mistakes, sharing sorrows. There are no worksheets, no big lists of questions probing your inner self. Rather, this book imparts a gentle wisdom that has been hard earned from personal experiences,and from observing friends and loved ones. Maybe it is the fact she is a fellow Texan that draws me to her writing, or we are the same age, share common cultural landmarks, or even that we both visited the very same tattoo parlor in Austin, Texas. Most likely, it is the fact that even when addressing the difficult issues in life, Marion Winik uses gentle humor and compassion to make her point. Part self guidance, part autobiography, this is a wonderful book.

Last year I read Maria Shriver's 'Ten Things I Wish I'd Known Before I Went Out into the Real World'. I got good things out of it, but I didn't feel like it was speaking specifically to me because I've always felt like such an oddball. Then I found this book. The advice runs along a similar theme, but Winik's life is so unusual, and she herself so charmingly and hilariously candid about her experiences, that I felt I was reading a kindred spirit's words. I raced through the book in one sitting, disturbing onlookers with my knee-slapping guffaws. Winik's various lessons, illustrated with autobiographical stories, made me feel vindicated and gave me hope for the future at a point when I was beginning to feel lonely and worn down. This would make a great graduation gift for the young bohemian in your life, but it's also a lift if you've already taken the road less travelled and got stranded at the truck stop of doubt.

Marion Winik has been a favorite of mine since "First Comes Love" which I devoured, gave to a friend, and missed terribly until I found more copies (one to keep & re-read, & others for new friends). From a wise woman, who has learned through lots of passionate living, this book brings more generous self-disclosure illustrating her "Rules" for other "Unrulies" like her. Having lived within more conventional bounds myself, I take great vicarious pleasure in Winik's adventures; I have nothing but admiration for the learning that she acquired. As a reader half a century beyond my teen years, I can't imagine anyone of any age not gaining from this book and appreciating this remarkable author. And on Mothers' Day, 2001, I especially appreciate her chapter titled "Be Gentle With Your Parents." Here's another Winik book I want to give to all my friends.

Although it is pitched to readers as an advice book, Rules for the Unruly reads more like a collection of endearing, heartfelt life stories told by someone who is genuinely grateful to be alive. I expected something different, but her style doesn't disappoint.

Lively and sincere, Winik knows how to give her opinion on important, emotionally-charged subjects without the finger wagging and judgement. Truly, she's a credit to her own generation and the kind of teacher younger generations so sorely need.

When I saw the title for this book I was interested because I've felt that my own life has been unconventional. But, I was disappointed because what this book should have been called is: Advice to High School Students. The whole book is written around what advice Marion Winik gives to her high school class during a reunion. That is fine if you happen to be 18 years old and have no experience in the world yet - and the book is useful in that regard, but I'm 37 and most the advice she gives is basic stuff. My problem with this book is that the title is simply misleading, nowhere does it explain on the book or its cover that it is written for high school age people - you don't learn that until you've already made the purchase.