Customer Reviews

Russian Wife: Your Greatest Blessing or Your Biggest Mistake?

5 star:		(6)
4 star:		(2)
3 star:		(2)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(4)

 

 

I have been married to a Russian lady for three years.
All of them happy years. (I am over 60 and she is just hitting 30).
She is just redoing her molecular biology master (her Russian degree is not valid in the west).

Despite the inarticulacy of all of the above posters, I am going to attempt to help.

Choose an educated lady - it will make all the difference.

Be clean all the time.
Be polite all the time.
Be courteous all the time.
Be VERY forgiving all the time (be ABSOLUTELY forgiving the first 2 years).

If at all possible, give her some outside the home goals in life.
Do try to avoid speaking American.
Most of the ladies will speak better ENGLISH than your American.

Do NOT consider that they are less educated than you are - rather, consider that they are more educated than you.

Be very supportive and use positive criticism
(avoid criticism if it is not accompanied by positive suggestion at the same time).

Russian ladies can be very, very sexy and mature very early in life for many westerners.
All Russians receive an internal passport at the age of 16,
they are very cultivated from their education system and they are considered adult at that time -
more than a few westerners are not adult at 30... so before you criticise THEM, look at your own act.

Share pleasure, don't make them domestic slaves and you will benefit enormously from it.
Ask their opinions on things they discover, you will get an education from listening to their thoughts.
Consider asking them about things where you are weak - it will give
you both an opportunity to discuss things on a 'togetherness level'.

Lastly, they are ladies, not 'wimmin', nor any other priggish epithet you may share with your drinking friends.

Treat them as such and you will enrich your life, increase your satisfaction
and have a friend at home for life, without wishing to look for an adventure outside.

I bought this book hoping to read how an American man & his Russian wife meet, feel in love and their life together in the USA. I also wanted to read how a Russia woman adjusted to American life. Unfortuantely, this book discussed none of those topics. The book is small, only 5 chapters & 106 pages long. The first three chapters cover items found on any RW romance website: 1) Russian Wife: Myths & Truths, 2) Internet Dating Agencies - Are They Secure Enough?, 3) What Kind of Women Consider International Marriage. Chapter 5 seemed misplaced... it discussed Mr. & Mrs. Rosssedahl's views on relationships & Christianity. Chapter 4 dealt with Russian culture - this was the only interesting section of the book. However chapter 4 (25 pages) does not justify buying this book...

This book is written from a Christian perspective, which makes it unique. While non-believers may consider that a disadvantage, I would still recommend this book if you're interested in the subject. It provides many helpful insights you won't find in the Internet, at least I can say I couldn't. I've seen some of those online Russian romance discussions, they are full of all kinds of examples and stories, often very controversial, and usually you will hear only one of the two sides involved - either an American man or a Russian woman sharing his/her experience and asking questions. You can probably learn something from reading those endless posts, but I think that this thoughtful analysis done by a Russian-American couple is much better, and it will save you a lot of time.

My recommendation is not to waiste time on this book, especially if you are considering meeting a Russian woman. The only advice given, was not to seek a Russian wife, and instead for Christians to pray for a wife. The authors also recommended that if you are not Christian, to convert, and then pray. Lastly, coauthor Julia Rossedahl clearly had an angry attitude towards any man that would seek a wife from the FSU.

(A very realistic review.)
Any american man can find true love/marriage in Russia with a beautiful russian woman only if he takes the risk in going to that country in the first place. But Before anyone goes over (or you go over)there it is best to study the culture, learn some Russian,think as a team and not as an individualist, and think worldly and not american. Another important note: Have a nice job! Next, Ones English has to be modified because some things or words don't translate well with many of the leading ladies from the former soviet countries.(ie you don't want to be labeled a pig/or a sex pervert.)American women and Canadian women are not bad looking, but the thing that has messed them up is the materialism. If you look at shows like the bachelor, why are those women there? because they can't find anyone and that is due to their materialism. They want a lot in life even though they don't have it(the millions of dollars.) American men and Russian women are compatible-they are two serious worlds when it comes to topic of marriage/love. I recommend this book to you. *True Fact: alot of the men who go to these marriage agencies, are tired men who have tried to find some one in America but who have been ignored by the women of this nation. Once you marry a Russian woman, don't let her go, be faithful,because you will have a hot woman with a body that does not quit every night you go to bed with her.Even the nicest american women don't have the killer bodies of a pretty Slavic woman. Choose your fate and Read this book or stay single forever dreaming of that nice European woman that you always imagined marrying. From the looks of things, american women will be interested in marriage once they are grandmas and that is simply to late and to old.

The authors of this book are an American husband and his Russian born wife who each give their opinion about the important topics concerning this subject. Their story is a little different than most of these marriages as not only was the wife interested to leave Russia for economic reasons but, at least according to her, also for religious reasons. Both spouses are fundamentalist Protestants. Though this faith is quite common in the United States it is not nearly as common in Russia. The wife was intent on marrying somebody of the same faith as herself and found that virtually impossible in Russia were most men are of the Orthodox faith though only nominally so. As she points out, the average Russian was not encouraged to go to church during the Soviet era and that has remained the case even afterwards.

The religious overtones in this book do distinguish it from other books of this sort, and quite frankly the authors are somewhat condescending at times about that. They seem to feel that a marriage of any couple that are not devout Protestants is doomed to failure. Having said that, I will also state that there is actually quite a lot of interesting secular material about the Russians that is good to know; such as why their culture is so filled with corruption and graft and how to avoid women who prey on Western men like sharks. If you read past the religious matter in the book you can actually find a lot of very useful material. It is still a good buy for the price.

An interesting read with some refreshingly good points. One example. It is usually considered all right that Russian women don't speak very good English. American men are willing to overlook that and use interpreters and translators during their courtship. The book raises one good question I've always wanted to ask such men myself: are you going to take that interpreter to your honeymoon, too? And then to your house? Communication in marriage is vitally important, and it can be hard enough even if both spouses speak the same language. The advice this book gives is not to mess with those who can't talk, because many of them - are you ready for this? - don't even plan to improve their English even though they do plan to move to the US.

One reviewer here called this book one-sided; I say yes - and it's the side you need to hear. A warning though: chapter 5 does deal with Christianity quite a bit, so don't read it if you absolutely can't stomach that.

Found the information most interesting but not what I was expecting. Seeking more on a particular area and their living more than one persons perspective.

What the heck was I thinking? There are exceptions to everything. However, cultural differences can destroy a marriage and in Russia people are expected to steal and scheme just to survive; that's why when most come here they continue to do so; typically on a grander scale.

This is probably the biggest waste of time and money you could have for $8.50. I bought the book used, and now I can see why this is not a keeper. I wish I had read the other reviews of how poor this book was. I gave it one star because I feel that writing can be difficult and I want to congradulate the authors on getting a book published. However, the material they wrote about was very one sided and needed alot more research. The book is incredibly short and very strangely written. Apparently, the wife who wrote most of the book by the way almost seems to discourage dating/marrying a Russian. The guy author parts are usually a page and almost always agree with the wife's 8-10 pages of diatribe. Which I found interesting that he never gives the reason why he was looking for a Russian bride in the first place. He also doesn't go into any detail about any other possible prospects of other women in Russia. He just went for the one, who he found and married.

With the other reviews, this book pretty much said you need to pray for a Russian wife and pray with her everyday. I am not saying praying is bad, but sometimes, I am sure god wants you to do things for yourself.