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47 of 52 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Must reading for those interested in the foreign dating game, June 15, 1999
By A Customer
This review is from: Russian Women & Marriage : Love Letters... From Russia (CD-ROM)
Based on the description provided here, I expected this CD-ROM book to be long on letters received and sent, and short on actual experience. Was I ever glad to be wrong. The text is rich in lessons Mr. Rogers has learned over the years - and a few, apparently, he has yet to learn. He's not afraid to tell things as they are - however good, bad, or ugly they seem to be. Chapter 1, "Timing of Commitment", he briefly sketches why he decided to head to Russia to find his wife, and described his one true American love. This was not his ex-wife, but a woman from Indiana (Rogers is from Dallas, Texas) that didn't seem to be quite all there. Chapter 2, "Russian Correspondence", is the first large chapter, and it deals with some of the women he wrote to, and how he cut them down to a manageable number for his planned visit. Some of the names and places blended in together here, but the most important ones became crystal clear in the next chapter. Of note is the fact that the agency (Scanna) and lawyer (Lawrence Holmes) he used are still around after 7 years - an eternity in the international introduction business. Chapter 3, "The Meeting in Moscow", describes the key people and places of his visit to Moscow. The key people included his translator, his driver, and of course the women he met. He scheduled visits from six women from various parts of Russia, but it was the third - Natasha - that touched him most deeply. There were a few warning signs but I was not shocked that he proposed to her then and there. If I were in his shoes, I probably would have done the same thing. Chapter 4, "Waiting For Fiancee Visa", is what it says it is. This section had a surprising amount of drama, since Natasha seemed to get into trouble at all the wrong times. Part of it had to do with her ex-husband (boo, hiss), the closest thing this book has to a true villain (besides Natasha herself, but I'm getting ahead of myself). Finally Westin and Natasha were reunited. Chapter 5, "Acclimation to America", describes the (mis)adventures of Natasha's first month in this country. Getting used to the country was harder than anyone expected, and the language barrier proved to be the hardest barrier of all. The chapter ends with them getting married, which hopefully was the beginning of happier times. Chapter 6, "Conditional Permanent Residency", made me seasick. Up, down, up, down, their relationship went. Communication continued to be awful, though not exclusively because of language (Natasha was an introvert and had a lot of skeletons hidden away). The rest would satisfy fans of "Melrose Place" - jealousy, deceit, betrayal, harsh words, even the odd blow or two. Though Westin was not entirely blameless, this marriage would have been tough for anyone to save. It endured for over 4 years before coming to an end. Chapter 7, "My Kiev Dilemma", describes Mr. Rogers' second trip, this time to the Ukraine. He tried to avoid the mistakes of his trip to Moscow six years earlier, but he couldn't quite do it, and ended up making some new ones in the process. I was, quite frankly, appalled by his choice this time around. I thought he passed over at least three more suitable ladies in order to pursue the one that is *guaranteed* to break his heart. Read the book and see if you agree with me. In conclusion, I thought this was a fantastic primer on what to beware of in relationships with foreign ladies. Highly recommended.
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26 of 28 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars
What an idiot!, October 23, 2004
This review is from: Russian Women & Marriage : Love Letters... From Russia (CD-ROM)
Rogers book will appeal to those most interested in sex with a beautiful Russian woman...in spite of the fact that Russia is in the midst of an AIDS epidemic. It's sad that American men with less than honorable motives often hurt so many Russian/Ukrainian women in search for a wife (or just sex). Roger's websites reveal his own weaknesses in that they feature mostly very young women in ultra sexy posses.
After all the time he has spent there, he still has not learned these important facts:
1) She is NOT looking for someone her father's age to marry. An honest Russian woman will accept a small to moderate age difference, but if you are looking for someone with a 15 or 20 year difference then you need to have your head examined. Russian girls do NOT marry older Russian men, no matter what you've read on the websites who sell you their addresses. A 5 year difference is best, and a 6 to 10 year difference is workable but only in the very best of circumstances. When you are 70 and she is still looking great at 43, do you really think she will enjoy adjusting your oxygen machine and changing your adult diapers? Use your brain for goodness sake!
2) The biggest mistake American men make in looking for a Russian soulmate is they don't understand that she is NOT a weak female who wishes to stay at home and have babies. The old Soviet Union gave them equality long before American "women's lib" came along. Yes, they love to dress up and be feminine. Yes, she does want to be a lady and expects you to be a gentleman. But do not allow this to delude you into thinking that she is not strong and tough as nails. She can chew up and spit out an American feminist in just seconds, all the while looking dainty and feminine in her skirt and heels.
Forget about controlling her. Russian women are strong-willed and not about to be your pushover. Yes, her profile reads that she wants you to be the man in the marriage--which is her way of saying that she expects you to provide for your wife and children, but not boss her around. Given the condition of society, the economy, and Russian men, she has learned how to be very tough.
3) Many of us think that she is counting her lucky stars for a chance to come to America. We are such blind fools in this regard. Her culture values family above all else and that includes the extended family and friends she left behind. She will be VERY homesick for a long time and often will come very close to saying goodbye to you and returning. America offers a comfortable lifestyle but there is no supermarket or shopping mall special enough to replace her love for homeland and her people. American popular culture is extremely shallow and empty--and she will discover this very quickly. If genuine love has not begun to grow in your marriage, she will go home at some point. If you are looking for "arm candy" to show off your beautiful wife, but are not willing to put a lot of effort into the relationship (such as learning her language and her culture) then you are headed for loads of heartache and trouble.
My Russian wife is a special gift from God. She is the best thing that has ever happened to me and I am the most lucky man in the world. She is 10 years younger, breathtakingly beautiful, a great mother to our children, and a woman of great character. She tells her girlfriends that I am her best friend. But we had to work thru the transition time and learn how to make a good marriage work. It takes a lot of effort but its worth it!
Roger's book is meaningless for such a worthwhile endeavor.
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15 of 15 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Don't Shoot The Messenger...., September 10, 1999
By A Customer
This review is from: Russian Women & Marriage : Love Letters... From Russia (CD-ROM)
The toughest part about reading this book is not wanting to choke Weston. He met, dated, and occasionally took to bed some wonderful women and some not so wonderful. How come he was always attracted to the wrong women? Now, your personal morals may not agree with what he did, but the message and experience he passes on is priceless. While the reviewer from Lansing presents an excellent summary, I'd like to emphasize some key points in the book: 1. Anything that can take long, will take longer. This includes letter writing (E-Mail has shortened this somewhat), the fiancee visa process, and getting her back here. 2. Take the time to get to know the women. Going over to Russia planning to come back engaged in one month is for dreamers and masochists. You deserve what you get. 3. Don't expect this to be easier than dating American women. There are pros and cons that need to be balanced, before you jump into this. Don't fool yourself in thinking this is a cake walk. There are gold diggers and fruitcakes in any culture. 4. Establish reliable points of contact in the country to assist you in meeting the right woman. The drivers and translators are priceless. Some agencies are just presenting you an opportunity to buy addresses. This will not be enough. 5. Learn the language and the culture. It would help you get around a little better and would be appreciated more that you realize. You also wouldn't be suprised by the occasional bribe and deviations from the truth needed to get around. 5. Research, Research, Research. The web is filled with resources that can help you along the way. There are countless agencies with listings that literally make you go blind after a while, but some of these have great advise. Beware that while some agencies are highly ethical and have your interests and the lady interests in mind, others are rumored to have Russian mafia connections. Talk to people, Russians especially. Don't assume anything. If it's too good to be true, it probably is. This is an excellent source. Read it. The best mistakes to learn from are those made by others. Preston made his share and had the courage to pass them on to us.
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