Customer Reviews

Russian Women & Marriage : Love Letters... From Russia

5 star:		(11)
4 star:		(1)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(3)
1 star:		(8)

 

 

Based on the description provided here, I expected this CD-ROM book to be long on letters received and sent, and short on actual experience. Was I ever glad to be wrong. The text is rich in lessons Mr. Rogers has learned over the years - and a few, apparently, he has yet to learn. He's not afraid to tell things as they are - however good, bad, or ugly they seem to be.

Chapter 1, "Timing of Commitment", he briefly sketches why he decided to head to Russia to find his wife, and described his one true American love. This was not his ex-wife, but a woman from Indiana (Rogers is from Dallas, Texas) that didn't seem to be quite all there.

Chapter 2, "Russian Correspondence", is the first large chapter, and it deals with some of the women he wrote to, and how he cut them down to a manageable number for his planned visit. Some of the names and places blended in together here, but the most important ones became crystal clear in the next chapter. Of note is the fact that the agency (Scanna) and lawyer (Lawrence Holmes) he used are still around after 7 years - an eternity in the international introduction business.

Chapter 3, "The Meeting in Moscow", describes the key people and places of his visit to Moscow. The key people included his translator, his driver, and of course the women he met. He scheduled visits from six women from various parts of Russia, but it was the third - Natasha - that touched him most deeply. There were a few warning signs but I was not shocked that he proposed to her then and there. If I were in his shoes, I probably would have done the same thing.

Chapter 4, "Waiting For Fiancee Visa", is what it says it is. This section had a surprising amount of drama, since Natasha seemed to get into trouble at all the wrong times. Part of it had to do with her ex-husband (boo, hiss), the closest thing this book has to a true villain (besides Natasha herself, but I'm getting ahead of myself). Finally Westin and Natasha were reunited.

Chapter 5, "Acclimation to America", describes the (mis)adventures of Natasha's first month in this country. Getting used to the country was harder than anyone expected, and the language barrier proved to be the hardest barrier of all. The chapter ends with them getting married, which hopefully was the beginning of happier times.

Chapter 6, "Conditional Permanent Residency", made me seasick. Up, down, up, down, their relationship went. Communication continued to be awful, though not exclusively because of language (Natasha was an introvert and had a lot of skeletons hidden away). The rest would satisfy fans of "Melrose Place" - jealousy, deceit, betrayal, harsh words, even the odd blow or two. Though Westin was not entirely blameless, this marriage would have been tough for anyone to save. It endured for over 4 years before coming to an end.

Chapter 7, "My Kiev Dilemma", describes Mr. Rogers' second trip, this time to the Ukraine. He tried to avoid the mistakes of his trip to Moscow six years earlier, but he couldn't quite do it, and ended up making some new ones in the process. I was, quite frankly, appalled by his choice this time around. I thought he passed over at least three more suitable ladies in order to pursue the one that is *guaranteed* to break his heart. Read the book and see if you agree with me.

In conclusion, I thought this was a fantastic primer on what to beware of in relationships with foreign ladies. Highly recommended.

Rogers book will appeal to those most interested in sex with a beautiful Russian woman...in spite of the fact that Russia is in the midst of an AIDS epidemic. It's sad that American men with less than honorable motives often hurt so many Russian/Ukrainian women in search for a wife (or just sex). Roger's websites reveal his own weaknesses in that they feature mostly very young women in ultra sexy posses.

After all the time he has spent there, he still has not learned these important facts:

1) She is NOT looking for someone her father's age to marry. An honest Russian woman will accept a small to moderate age difference, but if you are looking for someone with a 15 or 20 year difference then you need to have your head examined. Russian girls do NOT marry older Russian men, no matter what you've read on the websites who sell you their addresses. A 5 year difference is best, and a 6 to 10 year difference is workable but only in the very best of circumstances. When you are 70 and she is still looking great at 43, do you really think she will enjoy adjusting your oxygen machine and changing your adult diapers? Use your brain for goodness sake!

2) The biggest mistake American men make in looking for a Russian soulmate is they don't understand that she is NOT a weak female who wishes to stay at home and have babies. The old Soviet Union gave them equality long before American "women's lib" came along. Yes, they love to dress up and be feminine. Yes, she does want to be a lady and expects you to be a gentleman. But do not allow this to delude you into thinking that she is not strong and tough as nails. She can chew up and spit out an American feminist in just seconds, all the while looking dainty and feminine in her skirt and heels.

Forget about controlling her. Russian women are strong-willed and not about to be your pushover. Yes, her profile reads that she wants you to be the man in the marriage--which is her way of saying that she expects you to provide for your wife and children, but not boss her around. Given the condition of society, the economy, and Russian men, she has learned how to be very tough.

3) Many of us think that she is counting her lucky stars for a chance to come to America. We are such blind fools in this regard. Her culture values family above all else and that includes the extended family and friends she left behind. She will be VERY homesick for a long time and often will come very close to saying goodbye to you and returning. America offers a comfortable lifestyle but there is no supermarket or shopping mall special enough to replace her love for homeland and her people. American popular culture is extremely shallow and empty--and she will discover this very quickly. If genuine love has not begun to grow in your marriage, she will go home at some point. If you are looking for "arm candy" to show off your beautiful wife, but are not willing to put a lot of effort into the relationship (such as learning her language and her culture) then you are headed for loads of heartache and trouble.

My Russian wife is a special gift from God. She is the best thing that has ever happened to me and I am the most lucky man in the world. She is 10 years younger, breathtakingly beautiful, a great mother to our children, and a woman of great character. She tells her girlfriends that I am her best friend. But we had to work thru the transition time and learn how to make a good marriage work. It takes a lot of effort but its worth it!

Roger's book is meaningless for such a worthwhile endeavor.

The toughest part about reading this book is not wanting to choke Weston. He met, dated, and occasionally took to bed some wonderful women and some not so wonderful. How come he was always attracted to the wrong women? Now, your personal morals may not agree with what he did, but the message and experience he passes on is priceless.

While the reviewer from Lansing presents an excellent summary, I'd like to emphasize some key points in the book:

1. Anything that can take long, will take longer. This includes letter writing (E-Mail has shortened this somewhat), the fiancee visa process, and getting her back here.

2. Take the time to get to know the women. Going over to Russia planning to come back engaged in one month is for dreamers and masochists. You deserve what you get.

3. Don't expect this to be easier than dating American women. There are pros and cons that need to be balanced, before you jump into this. Don't fool yourself in thinking this is a cake walk. There are gold diggers and fruitcakes in any culture.

4. Establish reliable points of contact in the country to assist you in meeting the right woman. The drivers and translators are priceless. Some agencies are just presenting you an opportunity to buy addresses. This will not be enough.

5. Learn the language and the culture. It would help you get around a little better and would be appreciated more that you realize. You also wouldn't be suprised by the occasional bribe and deviations from the truth needed to get around.

5. Research, Research, Research. The web is filled with resources that can help you along the way. There are countless agencies with listings that literally make you go blind after a while, but some of these have great advise. Beware that while some agencies are highly ethical and have your interests and the lady interests in mind, others are rumored to have Russian mafia connections. Talk to people, Russians especially. Don't assume anything. If it's too good to be true, it probably is.

This is an excellent source. Read it. The best mistakes to learn from are those made by others. Preston made his share and had the courage to pass them on to us.

Having been married to a Ukrainian lady for almost 3 years and having been to Ukraine several times, I would recommend caution when reading Mr. Rogers' account. There is information that is not correct, and believing every word he says can cause you a world of grief later, if you decide to pursue a Russian/Ukrainian wife.

If you are really interested in learning about Russian Wives, then you are better off reading informational boards, like Brama, or Planet-Love. You'll get a wider and better balanced perspective of what it's really all about. Plus, the cost to read up to date information there is free, versus paying for out of date and sometimes incorrect information on his cd/website.

Talk about missing the entire ballpark. Weston (the author) says he wrote a book about finding a wife in Russia that doesn't have the american women downfalls (all the downfalls he complains about are the same downfalls he exibits throughout the entire book). He tells the story of an entire four year relationship that went bad entirely form his point of view and him being the victom in the story. If you want a story about a backstabing shallow man this is the book to read. If you want information about finding a Russian wife I pray that no one else use these methods. I am trying not to say anything spitful about this book but it is very hard. The people I hope read this book is Russian women, so they can be aware of people like Weston, even though it is to late for the people he effected.

I would advice extreme caution when believing that following the advice and actions of Mr. Rogers will lead to a successful marriage to a lady from the FSU. I've been to Russia 9 times since 1997 and escaped one "marriage from hell" to a RW before finding my perfect RW soulmate. In restrospect, I discovered that much of my actions from my first complete failure in this process closely parralleled the actions of Mr. Rogers. Taken in the light that one can learn as much or more from failure as you can from success, the book does have some value as an inverse barometer of how you should procede in this endaevor.

The book also has some value to titilate your interest in undertaking this wonderful journey and easing some of the hesistancy most westerners feel about the prospect of travel behind the former "iron curtain".

But as a blue[print to follow- - no way!

To be honest, there is better advice to be found and followed on any number of discussion groups relating to this topic. Some of the better ones are listed below:

Russian-Women-L-subscribe@maelstrom.stjohns.edu
FSU-WL-Subscribe@yahoogroups.com
SeekingVolgogradWomen-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
RW-X-subscribe@yahoogroups.com

Read the book and enjoy the drama, but don't attempt to use it as a roadmap to success.

...

The information contained in this book is poorly researched, even more poorly wrtitten, and delivered in a virtually illegible format - CD/website.

The Author seems to be suffering from a defective personality, and his way to cure this is a never-ending foray into Russia in search of sex. There appears no motivation for marriage, or a real home life. That he goes from one extreme, Natasha (his first wife), to the opposite personality (from Ukraine), is certainly predictable.

Furthermore, the information in this book is nearly ten years old. Russia is a vastly different place, in many ways. If you attempt to find your Russian soul-mate using the information and experiences in this book, you will be sadly disappointed.

Especially now, post 11 September 2001, the rules of the visa game have changed dramatically - both for Russians coming here, and for foreigners visting Russia.

...

The idea of having a wife with a more traditional background, the idea of the man going out to work and while the woman stays and tends the home has long been an ideal of mine. I was raised in such a family and see from my viewpoint that, when both spouses work, the quality of living suffers. Even if both spouses are making tons of money it still seems that the relationship lacks the polarity that I want to feel when I am with a woman.

Probably the only place left on the planet where there are Caucasian women who have notions compatible with mine concerning marriage and its structure is in Russia or that part of the world. When I read Weston's book it was a real eye opener in terms of the struggle it takes to pull off a successful marriage between an American man and a Russian woman. Is it possible? Is it worth it? I believe more than ever that it is from reading Weston's book.

The hunt is certainly enticing. Can you imagine looking into the eyes of a young Russian lady in St. Petersburg while the Northern lights are blazing as giant river bridges balletically rise to the slow, echoing moan of many fog horns. Hey, I'm there dude.

Maybe in Weston's case he is more married to the hunt than the the idea of actually settling down to marry. And maybe some of the women have evil purposes. I appreciate Weston's brutal honesty including his own self-bashing. I makes me believe him that much more. The huge picture section is quite fascinating and gives the ring of biographical truth to his work.

This is not Dostoevski but it is a real look that what can be done if you are willing to literally to go to such lengths to take up this quest.

I am married to a Russian woman from Kiev, Ukraine,(Yes, they are Russian there) at this time, and in doing research on an article related to travelling there again, I encountered Mr. Weston's book. I set out in some respects as Mr. Rogers did, searching through a very large pile of women for the ultimate woman, and discovered there is no perfect woman for anyone. He is too deluded about romance to give any good advice, and I found the notions expressed by the reviewers to be all accurate ones, from each of their viewpoints. Rogers wanted to exploit women more than to find real love, and it is obvious, since he is predatorily back in Kiev....

This is a disappointing work, from so many angles. Mr. Rogers documents his quest to get laid (disguised as an effort to find a bride) in a CD-ROM "book" that is amateurish in both presentation and content. Any man as immature and shallow as Rogers would have to struggle to find a woman able to live with him, but spreading his problems internationally seems a bit extreme. Far too many American men believe that their dating problems would be solved by importing a bride from an economically depressed nation, only to find out that the difficulties created by inter-cultural romances far outweigh any benefits. Most men learn from this mistake; however, Rogers only sees an opportunity for another book chapter. His honesty and lack of shame in recounting his story are remarkable, but in the end one is left feeling so repulsed by his selfish and pervasive naivete than to make the read worthwhile. Plagued with grammatical and typographical errors (in his own paragraphs, not just the [sic] ones of his Russian and Ukrainian "girlfriends"), the reading goes slowly and painfully. The "book" is actually an unlabeled CD with a poor quality sleeve. It is a pitiful entry in Amazon's catalog, and not worth the extravagant price. Keep looking.