SICK [Kindle Edition]

Jen Smith (Author)

Book Description

Small time drug deals, following the Grateful Dead, and a passion for growing pot filled Jen's world before she met Greg. But the first time she got off a flight, strolled over to the baggage claim in her carefully chosen new outfit and picked up two brand new flowered suitcases filled with eighty pounds of Mexican swag pot, she felt like she had found her true calling in life. The adrenaline rush of getting away with something big along with the money Jen would make was a new kind of high she’d never before experienced. She was instantly addicted. Making money organizing drug runs around the country was intense. Greg and Jen were a money making duo like none other. Life with Greg was exciting for a while but it wasn't long before it became a cat and mouse game – then a complete nightmare.

Jen's not sure at what moment she stepped through the denial that allowed her to think she could continue living this life and her baby would be okay. Perhaps the morning she opened the computer room door to find Greg smoking crack while playing with a semi automatic Uzi, or maybe it was a few days later when she was fixing the bullet holes in the roof. Could there be a way out? Will Jen find a way to spare her son from this drug infested violent existence that would surely crush his soul?

Product Details

• File Size: 418 KB
• Print Length: 229 pages
• Page Numbers Source ISBN: 1477466274
• Simultaneous Device Usage: Unlimited
• Publisher: Recovered Publishing (February 10, 2012)
• Sold by: Amazon Digital Services, Inc.
• Language: English
• ASIN: B007A3RE4A
• Text-to-Speech: Enabled
• X-Ray: Enabled
• Lending: Enabled
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #417,186 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful

2.0 out of 5 stars A Dead End... June 19, 2012

By Vernadette Barnes

Format:Kindle Edition|Amazon Verified Purchase

the grateful dead.

drugs.

domestic violence.

buddy.

Jen Smith was a drug addicted hippie-type chick that followed Grateful Dead tours all over the country. At the opening of this memoir, we find Jen to be this fiercely independent business woman taking ownership of her brand even though it was illegal. Jen was known for growing high grade marijuana. She also kicked her heroin addiction cold turkey. While hanging out with friends after a Grateful Dead show, Jen met Greg. Greg was her ticket onto a very bumpy rollercoaster ride.

Greg was a drug dealer and an ex-con. Jen and Greg quickly became an item. Jen became a drug mule for him. Jen and Greg began to move large amount of drugs for a Mexican named Jose. Their business expanded. The money was pouring in. Jen and Greg were partying and taking all kinds of drugs like cocaine, crystal meth, pills, crack, and ecstasy. Greg soon became more and more jealous, controlling, and manipulative. Greg's behaviour soon birthed into severe emotional, physical, and vebal abuse. Jen got pregnant. Jerry Garcia died. Buddy was born. Greg got worse. Jen drank more alcohol and took more drugs. Jen never once went back to heroin.

There were often times throughout this book that I had to remind myself that it was not fiction. They got away with so much. There was always money but never peace. I wanted to just reach my hand into my kindle and remove poor Buddy from this story. He was not neglected or abused physically but he endured emotional hardships right along with his mother. Greg was so unpredictable that Jen's main focus was keeping Buddy safe which left little time for nurturing. Jen breaks away from Greg's cluthches several times but always returned high on some mind/heart numbing narcotic.

This story was a painful read for me. There were a few times I simply wanted to send it to the book graveyard. The writing was mediocare at best but that's not what turned me off. The drug that Jen was most addicted to was the luxurious lifestyle that she and Greg lived. Out of all the times in the story that she ran or got away she never ran for help. She ran to get high. No rehab. No shelter. Just more drugs, more alcohol, or another expensive trip. She was surrounded by friends that were enablers that she did not trust. She was estranged from her family. Greg weakened Jen down to a shell of a person. I honestly can't comprehend how she survived physically or health wise. By the end I was drained. The moments that I enjoyed the most were when Jen spoke about her dog JJ. I loved JJ.

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Could Not Put It Down February 20, 2012

By TracyM

Format:Kindle Edition

This is a truly engaging story with its shocking details of a world in which drugs rule. It grabs you from the beginning with brutual honesty and courage. SICK

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful

2.0 out of 5 stars Sick August 25, 2012

By B.Mace

Format:Kindle Edition|Amazon Verified Purchase

This book just went on and on and on and on..... !!! Every time I thought she was going to share something incredible... it was just a tease. Important events were glossed over but every detail of a hotel room was shared. It was frustrating to watch her go back to this evil man again and again -- and even worse... leave her precious son in that environment. The ending was completely lackluster. What happened NEXT!?! Did she survive abuse? Did she get off drugs? Did she stop dealing? I feel like I was left with all questions and no answers - and that I suffered to get to that point!

More About the Author

In a nut shell, I'm an egomaniac with an inferiority complex constantly seeking humility... a life long battle that coincides with my daily reprieve from addiction contingent upon the maintenance of my my spiritual condition. I do not take myself too seriously, on a good day anyways.

Why I Wrote SICK.

After years of debauchery, addiction, bad choices, and confusion I found recovery and began a life consistent with someone who would be considered a productive member of society. This was painfully weird for me at first and still is a bit awkward. In pursuit of a legal means to support my son, I went back to school and attained a few degrees. The most intense being a Masters Degree in Financial Economics. Soon it was time to get a job. The idea of working was also painfully weird for me but by that time in my recovery I had seen it done by others. One of my first interviews was with Sovereign Bank. They showed me the cube in which I would be working. It was a solitary dark space with high confining walls around it. I cried all the way home.

I did find work in a reputable investment company in a cube that was a little less dark with walls a little less high. It was, however, positioned down a back cold alleyway filled with stale air. Despite this I commence to assimilate into the corporate environment working my tale off learning as much as I could as fast as I could, accomplishing a lot. My boss was a tall well connected man. Before long his deep rooted low opinion of woman was unmistakable. A smart man, his detrimental belittling and minimizing of my abilities were subtle, never saying or doing anything that could be outwardly pined as sexist. This wore on my spirit and had residual effects on how my all men colleagues treated me. Finally this culminated into my boss deciding to demote me from a salary to hourly employee without reason. He said it came down from corporate but the other two men who were my equals were not affected and remained salary. I thought to myself, no matter how much money I make for this company, and I had made a lot, I'm never going to get anywhere under this man. So I began to write.

My story is one of addiction and survival of domestic violence and abuse. Through pain I've grown and recovered with hope to clear a path in some small way for other women to come up behind me. This is why I choose to tell my story. While the escapades and criminal activity may be interesting to some, the real story is the little bits of awakening woven in here and there, about the insidious devastation of abuse. My desperate attempts to understand how a human being can so deeply hurt the one they say they love were sometime futile but sometimes revealing. It's just sick.

The other day a friend of mine stuck in the cycle of abuse referenced a part of my book where I made an attempt to break the cycle. She said this gave her strength to make an attempt to break the cycle in her life. That was it. That was all I had hoped for by writing this book. Just one person was enough for me. So anything else that happens with this book is icing on the cake!

Being in recovery I have had the opportunity to work on the situation with my boss and the resentments I've carried. At first my thought led to questions like, how could this be happening to me? Hadn't I been through enough? Didn't I deserve to be treated equally and be judged on my merits? Later my work turned towards things like, where could I have stuck up for my self more. I believe we attract what we have in our lives and there was something about me that attracted one more sexist man into my life. The process of writing my book has helped me get rid of that last little bit of victim I was holding on to. Deep into my writing my boss was replaced with a women who, although only my boss for a short period of time, empowered me. The fact that she demoted my prior boss and took away all of his direct reports was nice too. Today I have a fair respectful male boss. But the truth of it all is that from my despair came the strength and determination to follow my dream of telling my story and empowering women who experience abuse.

If you've read my book, stay tuned, I'm busy writing the rest of the story for you. You won't believe what happens next...