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SICK: A riveting memoir about drug dealing, addiction, and surviving abuse. Kindle Edition

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Length: 219 pages Word Wise: Enabled Enhanced Typesetting: Enabled
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Product Details

  • File Size: 672 KB
  • Print Length: 219 pages
  • Simultaneous Device Usage: Unlimited
  • Publisher: Recovered Publishing (February 10, 2012)
  • Publication Date: February 10, 2012
  • Sold by: Amazon Digital Services, Inc.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B007A3RE4A
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Enabled
  • Lending: Enabled
  • Enhanced Typesetting: Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #289,619 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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More About the Author

In a nut shell, I'm an egomaniac with an inferiority complex constantly seeking humility... a life long battle that coincides with my daily reprieve from addiction contingent upon the maintenance of my my spiritual condition. I do not take myself too seriously, on a good day anyways.

Why I Wrote SICK.

After years of debauchery, addiction, bad choices, and confusion I found recovery and began a life consistent with someone who would be considered a productive member of society. This was painfully weird for me at first and still is a bit awkward. In pursuit of a legal means to support my son, I went back to school and attained a few degrees. The most intense being a Masters Degree in Financial Economics. Soon it was time to get a job. The idea of working was also painfully weird for me but by that time in my recovery I had seen it done by others. One of my first interviews was with Sovereign Bank. They showed me the cube in which I would be working. It was a solitary dark space with high confining walls around it. I cried all the way home.

I did find work in a reputable investment company in a cube that was a little less dark with walls a little less high. It was, however, positioned down a back cold alleyway filled with stale air. Despite this I commence to assimilate into the corporate environment working my tale off learning as much as I could as fast as I could, accomplishing a lot. My boss was a tall well connected man. Before long his deep rooted low opinion of woman was unmistakable. A smart man, his detrimental belittling and minimizing of my abilities were subtle, never saying or doing anything that could be outwardly pined as sexist. This wore on my spirit and had residual effects on how my all men colleagues treated me. Finally this culminated into my boss deciding to demote me from a salary to hourly employee without reason. He said it came down from corporate but the other two men who were my equals were not affected and remained salary. I thought to myself, no matter how much money I make for this company, and I had made a lot, I'm never going to get anywhere under this man. So I began to write.

My story is one of addiction and survival of domestic violence and abuse. Through pain I've grown and recovered with hope to clear a path in some small way for other women to come up behind me. This is why I choose to tell my story. While the escapades and criminal activity may be interesting to some, the real story is the little bits of awakening woven in here and there, about the insidious devastation of abuse. My desperate attempts to understand how a human being can so deeply hurt the one they say they love were sometime futile but sometimes revealing. It's just sick.

The other day a friend of mine stuck in the cycle of abuse referenced a part of my book where I made an attempt to break the cycle. She said this gave her strength to make an attempt to break the cycle in her life. That was it. That was all I had hoped for by writing this book. Just one person was enough for me. So anything else that happens with this book is icing on the cake!

Being in recovery I have had the opportunity to work on the situation with my boss and the resentments I've carried. At first my thought led to questions like, how could this be happening to me? Hadn't I been through enough? Didn't I deserve to be treated equally and be judged on my merits? Later my work turned towards things like, where could I have stuck up for my self more. I believe we attract what we have in our lives and there was something about me that attracted one more sexist man into my life. The process of writing my book has helped me get rid of that last little bit of victim I was holding on to. Deep into my writing my boss was replaced with a women who, although only my boss for a short period of time, empowered me. The fact that she demoted my prior boss and took away all of his direct reports was nice too. Today I have a fair respectful male boss. But the truth of it all is that from my despair came the strength and determination to follow my dream of telling my story and empowering women who experience abuse.

If you've read my book, stay tuned, I'm busy writing the rest of the story for you. You won't believe what happens next...

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

5 of 5 people found the following review helpful By The Prissy Snob on June 19, 2012
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
the grateful dead.

drugs.

domestic violence.

buddy.

Jen Smith was a drug addicted hippie-type chick that followed Grateful Dead tours all over the country. At the opening of this memoir, we find Jen to be this fiercely independent business woman taking ownership of her brand even though it was illegal. Jen was known for growing high grade marijuana. She also kicked her heroin addiction cold turkey. While hanging out with friends after a Grateful Dead show, Jen met Greg. Greg was her ticket onto a very bumpy rollercoaster ride.

Greg was a drug dealer and an ex-con. Jen and Greg quickly became an item. Jen became a drug mule for him. Jen and Greg began to move large amount of drugs for a Mexican named Jose. Their business expanded. The money was pouring in. Jen and Greg were partying and taking all kinds of drugs like cocaine, crystal meth, pills, crack, and ecstasy. Greg soon became more and more jealous, controlling, and manipulative. Greg's behaviour soon birthed into severe emotional, physical, and vebal abuse. Jen got pregnant. Jerry Garcia died. Buddy was born. Greg got worse. Jen drank more alcohol and took more drugs. Jen never once went back to heroin.

There were often times throughout this book that I had to remind myself that it was not fiction. They got away with so much. There was always money but never peace. I wanted to just reach my hand into my kindle and remove poor Buddy from this story. He was not neglected or abused physically but he endured emotional hardships right along with his mother. Greg was so unpredictable that Jen's main focus was keeping Buddy safe which left little time for nurturing.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By B.Mace on August 25, 2012
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
This book just went on and on and on and on..... !!! Every time I thought she was going to share something incredible... it was just a tease. Important events were glossed over but every detail of a hotel room was shared. It was frustrating to watch her go back to this evil man again and again -- and even worse... leave her precious son in that environment. The ending was completely lackluster. What happened NEXT!?! Did she survive abuse? Did she get off drugs? Did she stop dealing? I feel like I was left with all questions and no answers - and that I suffered to get to that point!
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By TracyM on February 20, 2012
Format: Kindle Edition
This is a truly engaging story with its shocking details of a world in which drugs rule. It grabs you from the beginning with brutual honesty and courage. SICK
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By L. Anton on March 3, 2012
Format: Kindle Edition
Wonderful story about a groupie of the band Grateful Dead that followed the music and the drug filled life almost into the abyss with Jerry. A captivating and moving true story about the pain and entrapment of life in addiction and hope for freedom from bondage. Must read!!!!
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Format: Paperback
Disclosure: I received a complimentary copy of this book with the expectation that I would provide an honest review.

Thank you, Jen, for sharing your story!

I learned a lot about the Deadhead scene.

I learned a lot about the drug dealing (and using) scene.

I learned a lot about relationship abuse by people with narcissistic personality disorder.

Reading this book was an amazing experience, and I wish Jen well as she continues her recovery!

And please write a sequel!
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2 of 3 people found the following review helpful By HOLLY on February 21, 2012
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
SICKI STARTED BY READING THE SAMPLE OF THE BOOK. COULDN'T STOP, BOUGHT A KINDLE, SO I COULD BUY THE BOOK. THEN REALIZED, I COULD DOWNLOAD IT TO MY COMPUTER. I READ THE WHOLE BOOK, IN A DAY. IT WAS MOVING,EXCITING,AND REALLY HELD MY INTEREST. I WAS SORRY TO SEE IT END. THE DETAILS WERE VERY ACURATELY DESCRIBED, AND MANY TIMES, MADE ME TEAR UP AND CRY. THIS STORY HAD A HAPPY ENDING, AND IS PROOF THAT DRUG ADDICTION CAN BE HELPED, AND THAT SOME PEOPLE CAN LEAD PRODUCTIVE LIVES AFTER RECOVERY. I HOPE THIS AUTHOR DECIDES TO CONTINUE WRITING. I ALSO PLAN TO BUY THIS IN HARD COVER, SO THAT I MAY READ IT AGAIN, AND AGAIN.
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By Amazon Customer on August 1, 2013
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
not enough story of her recovery, but very well detailed and well written. I liked it, but didn't love it.
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By Cheryl Young on March 7, 2013
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
This author tells the truth about what life is like behind the imaginary line that separates casual drug users from addicts and dealers, and how one pretty normal but adventurous girl found herself on the other side of that line, living in a murky, dangerous world of violence, abuse and addiction. I loved it because the story exposed how close that world is to all of us, like an alternate universe only thinly divided from the safety of a normal lifestyle; and because the author reveals the sickly twisted thought processes that take over an abuse victim's life. It's way real.
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