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SM 101: A Realistic Introduction Paperback – 1996

4.5 out of 5 stars 161 customer reviews

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Editorial Reviews

Review

It goes by many names: bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, sadomasochism, and more. In Jay Wiseman's SM 101, the long-taboo subject of consentual sadomasochism is accurately, insightful presented in the context of adult human sexuality, experience and tradition for the interested non-specialist general reader. SM 101 surveys the entire spectrum of consentual sadomasochistic practices from from bondage, to spanking, to erotic role-playing, and more. Now in an expanded second edition, SM 101 includes a new chapter on starting and running sadomaschistic organizations and events for consenting adults. Greenery Press has an extensive title list in the area of human sexuality and maintains a site on the World Wide Web (see the above URL) with a complete roster of their publications in various aspects of human sexuality and practices. -- Midwest Book Review
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 400 pages
  • Publisher: Greenery Press; 2nd edition (1996)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0963976389
  • ISBN-13: 978-0963976383
  • Product Dimensions: 1 x 6.2 x 9.2 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1.3 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (161 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #24,032 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

Format: Paperback
BDSM, by nature, is shrouded in a world of fantasy. This is fantastic if you are sitting down for a good erotic "read", however, it is more problematic if you are contemplating trying to act out your SM fantasies. Fortunately, readers now have access to a non-titillating , realistic guide to SM play. Jay Wiseman is an experienced SM player and a popular lecturer/speaker at many BDSM events and his book, SM 101, has condensed down his years of scene experience into a very readable guide to SM play.
It is somewhat of a `technical manual' that explains SM terminology, the mechanics of `erotic pain' as well as how to use clamps, bondage, flagellation, erotic torture and humiliation. The second part of the manual introduces the reader to SM organizations, SM relationships and how to construct specialized types of scenes. This book is a definite must have for anyone contemplating exploring the public BDSM scene. The terminology and basic safety rules are "musts" at any responsible event.
Because this is book is written by a scene player, it does move a little quickly over the initial exploratory stages that many couples go through to get into SM - Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns has a somewhat more elaborate introduction into the SM mindset. However, if you have decided that you are going to play and want to know how, there isn't any better book out there to get started with.
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Format: Paperback
SM 101 contains all the essential information that BDSM beginners desperately need, written in a way that newcomers can understand. Though the introductory chapter says it isn't intended for people who are already members of SM community, I would argue that this is an excellent guide even for people with years of experience. I have been a member of several BDSM organizations over seven years, and I found this book to be thought-provoking and helpful. This book has provided me with information and advice that is more honest (and more accurate, I think) than much of what I have gotten from years of workshops, lectures, and demonstrations.
I think the primary advantage of this book over others on the subject is its depth. Its introduction to the basics of BDSM is particularly thorough. Personal anecdotes, both amusing and poignant, give real-life insight into what it's like to play with BDSM. It has a strong emphasis on safety without being pushy or patronizing. Most books just recite arbitrary rules. SM 101 gives information, suggestions, and advice designed to help readers make their own decisions about the risks they want to take.
One of my favorite parts of this book is a collection of off-handed remarks overheard at BDSM events. These quotes, scattered in margins of the pages, range from clever to hilarious to profound. Another nice touch is advice on finding partners, and a step-by-step guide to negotiating SM play. There are even negotiation forms that can be copied and used to make sure that all the points are covered. I strongly recommend the safety precautions this book suggests for playing with someone new.
All in all, SM 101 is a book I would highly recommend to anyone who is seriously considering exploring safe, sane and consensual BDSM.
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Format: Paperback
"SM101, A Realistic Introduction, Second Edition" by Jay Wiseman is what I consider to be the best book for newcomers to BDSM and those who want additional information about things they haven't yet tried or understanding terms and techniques that they may not be familiar with.
Jay writes in an easy style; the book is written in plain language and is completely understandable... infinitely "readable". He defines most all the current usage terminology, discusses the basics of SM play and Dominance and Submission better than anyone else in my opinion. It is a "How To" and a "How Not to Do" with explanations about every phase of BDSM play.
The best reason to buy this book, however, is to really understand what safety is all about. Also the book contains lots of resources for further information about the lifestyle as well as a wonderful "negotiation" form for new and experienced partners so that their sessions will be mutually safe and pleasurable. He stresses something that I know is true from my many years in the lifestyle and that is that open communication between consensual partners is of the utmost importance.
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Format: Paperback
As a newcomer to the bdsm "scene" I am looking for good information on more than just techniques. I am also trying to handle fear, anxiety, and other issues I can only guess at right now. For this, Jay's book is among the best I've read. Not only does he explain the "how" of bdsm, but the who, what, and why people get into this. To read about his own journey over many years has helped me relax and take my own next steps. I believe that anyone who is struggling with "coming out" with their "alternative" sexual expression should read this book right away. It will give you a map of the territory, which is not as scary as our culture leads us to believe, and lead you into what is hopefully a personal transformation.
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Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
This is a pretty good introduction for someone new to the BDSM scene, or someone on the outside who wants to know what all the fuss is about. The tone is casual, but professional, and Wiseman includes plenty of personal stories. I know anecdotal evidence isn't always the best, but it's a lot more effective to say "I personally know someone who was injured in this way," than to caution "If you do this wrong, such and such injuries might happen."

IMPORTANT: The book is several years out of date. Most of his advice is still good- paddles will still bruise less than canes, bound submissives are likely to fall on stairs, that sort of thing. HOWEVER: Wiseman frequently plays up the wonders of the spermicide nonoxynol-9, encouraging its use with anyone who isn't outright allergic to it. Nonoxynol-9 was believed to help limit the spread of STDs. This is the opposite of true. Nonoxynol-9 is irritating even if you aren't allergic, and the tiny lesions it causes may increase your chances of catching STDs, especially HIV. It's strictly for contraceptive use only.

The other key advancement made since the publishing of this book is silicone lubricant. Wiseman discusses the difference between water-based and oil-based, but now if you walk into your friendly neighborhood sex shop, you're more likely to find only water-based and silicone-based. Read up on the pros and cons of silicone- it's great stuff, but it does have some drawbacks- and definitely doublecheck whether or not it will stain any props you're using.

Lastly, this book is very much from the point of view of a straight man, and will be most useful (and least offensive) in the hands of other straight men and women.
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SM 101: A Realistic Introduction
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