43 of 44 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Toddler Taming 101, Parent's Best Friend!, April 2, 2004
This review is from: SOS: Help for Parents (Paperback)
I purchased this book because of a friend-of-a-friend's recommendation. I have been pleased from the start. First I'll describe our household, then the book, then our use of Dr. Clark's SOS tools. You can decide if it would work for you.
Our situation: Our 2 year old is a very head-strong and loudly opinionated gal. She's clever and knows what she wants, and gets frustrated when she can't make us understand or obey. So, she screamed and hit when things didn't go her way - of course! (grrr) I was mortified, humbled, and determined to keep my cool and not give in to her demands, no matter where I was. But, resolve wasn't enough, and although I think she would have eventually gotten the message that tantrums don't work, I don't know if I could have kept my hair, friends, and sanity until then! I don't think our tot is unusually easy, hard, or headstrong. She is unusually loud !
The book:
Is simply written and illustrated. You won't find glossy pictures or professionaly produced graphics. Don't worry about it, you don't need them.
There are 3 basic sections of the book, plus additional resources.
Section 1: Fundamentals of Behavior and Improving Behavior
Discusses misbehavior, communication, improving good behavior, introduction of time-out, and different methods of stopping bad behavior. Provides good guidelines for what methods are best for different ages and behaviors. Discusses spanking and why not to use it - if you are looking for a book on how to use corporal punishment, this is not it. I was glad to see that.
Section 2: Basic Skills of the Time Out Method
Complete discussion of how to implement time out, how to deal with common problems that occur in time out (such as the child not staying in time-out place), and what to do after time out. This is a very clearly written and effective set of chapters.
Section 3: Further Application of Your Parenting Skills
Discusses different ways to extend time out, use it away from home, rewarding good behavior without bribing, and communication. This set of chapters is very useful - you don't have to read it before you start implementing time-out, but once you feel confident with implementing time out and using the principles from section 1, you should read it.
Section 4: More Resources For Helping Your Child
Additional information - good resources if you need them.
The index is careflly arranged by behavior with SOS methods listed underneath. A very thoughtful addition to the book.
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I read the book, discussed it with my husband, and we began using SOS tools. I was skeptical that time-out could be used effectively on a 2 year old. I was wrong - it began working immediately. I don't mean that she turned into an angel overnight - but time out clearly has a positive effect on her behavior. Dr. Clark even predicted her responses to time-out, and had described situations and methods for dealing with them. I've used time-out twice away from home, and it worked.
We no longer feel helpless when confronted with a screaming kicking tot. When we follow consistent steps that she can predict, it helps her regain control quickly as well. Even better, she understands what time out is, and can often tell us why she was in time out when we ask her.
I happy that we read this book NOW! I think any parent can use this book effectively and quickly. Dr. Clark recommends not starting time out if your child is older than 11 - so you might want to consider other books if your child is older.
Bottom line: Easy to read and implement. Very effective tools. Applicable to many behaviors and ages. We are very pleased.
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21 of 22 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Great for the Desperate!, February 16, 2005
This review is from: SOS: Help for Parents (Paperback)
I have a 4 (going on 5) year old who is what you might call "strong willed" he has been a constant challenge and I have even entrolled him into counceling. I saw the TV show super nanny and looked at her book and this one was on the shelf next to it. It looked easy to read, and was fun...i had read 2 chapters before I left the store.
Some of these reveiws bash the token system, but I have to tell prior to this book, I used to threated my son and say negative things all the time, and half the time he turned a deaf ear on me. When I read about the tokens, I wasn't sure, but I was desperate. My son and I went to the store and bought the good kind of clay chips they use for gambling and then decorated them with stickers. He gets a token when he goes to bed without an argument and if he does something especially good during the day.
My son had 1 time out in the past 2 weeks. We use his timer to keep him on schedule so he never feels like he is being pulled away from something without notice. Finally, when we do have any signs of agression, we simply mention that tokens are earned for good behaviour and he stops almost immediatly. I never thereaten him with time out, or taking away toys or anything like that...I want to buy a ton of these books and hand the out to everyone i know...THIS IS A GREAT book...it will help you if you follow the concepts and learn that you kid isn't bad, its his behaviour, and that can be changed!!! Good Luck
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