Customer Reviews

SOS: Help for Parents

5 star:		(22)
4 star:		(5)
3 star:		(3)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(2)

 

 

I purchased this book because of a friend-of-a-friend's recommendation. I have been pleased from the start. First I'll describe our household, then the book, then our use of Dr. Clark's SOS tools. You can decide if it would work for you.

Our situation: Our 2 year old is a very head-strong and loudly opinionated gal. She's clever and knows what she wants, and gets frustrated when she can't make us understand or obey. So, she screamed and hit when things didn't go her way - of course! (grrr) I was mortified, humbled, and determined to keep my cool and not give in to her demands, no matter where I was. But, resolve wasn't enough, and although I think she would have eventually gotten the message that tantrums don't work, I don't know if I could have kept my hair, friends, and sanity until then! I don't think our tot is unusually easy, hard, or headstrong. She is unusually loud !

The book:
Is simply written and illustrated. You won't find glossy pictures or professionaly produced graphics. Don't worry about it, you don't need them.
There are 3 basic sections of the book, plus additional resources.

Section 1: Fundamentals of Behavior and Improving Behavior
Discusses misbehavior, communication, improving good behavior, introduction of time-out, and different methods of stopping bad behavior. Provides good guidelines for what methods are best for different ages and behaviors. Discusses spanking and why not to use it - if you are looking for a book on how to use corporal punishment, this is not it. I was glad to see that.

Section 2: Basic Skills of the Time Out Method
Complete discussion of how to implement time out, how to deal with common problems that occur in time out (such as the child not staying in time-out place), and what to do after time out. This is a very clearly written and effective set of chapters.

Section 3: Further Application of Your Parenting Skills
Discusses different ways to extend time out, use it away from home, rewarding good behavior without bribing, and communication. This set of chapters is very useful - you don't have to read it before you start implementing time-out, but once you feel confident with implementing time out and using the principles from section 1, you should read it.

Section 4: More Resources For Helping Your Child
Additional information - good resources if you need them.

The index is careflly arranged by behavior with SOS methods listed underneath. A very thoughtful addition to the book.
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I read the book, discussed it with my husband, and we began using SOS tools. I was skeptical that time-out could be used effectively on a 2 year old. I was wrong - it began working immediately. I don't mean that she turned into an angel overnight - but time out clearly has a positive effect on her behavior. Dr. Clark even predicted her responses to time-out, and had described situations and methods for dealing with them. I've used time-out twice away from home, and it worked.

We no longer feel helpless when confronted with a screaming kicking tot. When we follow consistent steps that she can predict, it helps her regain control quickly as well. Even better, she understands what time out is, and can often tell us why she was in time out when we ask her.

I happy that we read this book NOW! I think any parent can use this book effectively and quickly. Dr. Clark recommends not starting time out if your child is older than 11 - so you might want to consider other books if your child is older.

Bottom line: Easy to read and implement. Very effective tools. Applicable to many behaviors and ages. We are very pleased.

I have a 4 (going on 5) year old who is what you might call "strong willed" he has been a constant challenge and I have even entrolled him into counceling. I saw the TV show super nanny and looked at her book and this one was on the shelf next to it. It looked easy to read, and was fun...i had read 2 chapters before I left the store.

Some of these reveiws bash the token system, but I have to tell prior to this book, I used to threated my son and say negative things all the time, and half the time he turned a deaf ear on me. When I read about the tokens, I wasn't sure, but I was desperate. My son and I went to the store and bought the good kind of clay chips they use for gambling and then decorated them with stickers. He gets a token when he goes to bed without an argument and if he does something especially good during the day.

My son had 1 time out in the past 2 weeks. We use his timer to keep him on schedule so he never feels like he is being pulled away from something without notice. Finally, when we do have any signs of agression, we simply mention that tokens are earned for good behaviour and he stops almost immediatly. I never thereaten him with time out, or taking away toys or anything like that...I want to buy a ton of these books and hand the out to everyone i know...THIS IS A GREAT book...it will help you if you follow the concepts and learn that you kid isn't bad, its his behaviour, and that can be changed!!! Good Luck

This excellent book was given to me by another parent when my son was three. I was pulling my hair out and yelling and nothing I tried worked. This book helped me understand my child and gave me a method for dealing with undesirable behaviour without yelling or losing my temper or losing control of the situation. Just having a strategy in advance was helpful. And I used it with my second child. This is the best book for parents to have, in my opinion.

I'm a child psychologist and now a mom myself. Hands down my favorite book to recommend to parents is "SOS: Help for Parents" by Lynn Clark. It focuses on discipline strategies for kids ages 2 - 12, when to use which kind of strategy, and gives very detailed information about what a time out is and how to do it effectively. He talks clearly about what do to with a 3 year old vs. a 10 year old, and which types of problems to intervene with in the most effective ways (for example, how to deal with hitting vs. not wanting to go to bed). There is also information about how to deal with squabbling siblings. Throughout the book there are cute drawings and lots of examples both from Dr. Clark's practice and his own experience as a parent. One of the things I love about this book it that it focuses on problems that almost every parent will deal with at one point or another - it's not just for "problem" kids, although the techniques are generally applicable. It's also very easy to find at any major bookstore and costs less than $12. I will be using this book with my son as soon as I need to! Every parent I have recommended it to has found it helpful, both clients and friends.

I have used this book as part of my practice since I first found the book 4 years ago. It is simply written, amuzingly illustrated, and covers ALL aspects of using time out with children. It does not deal with adolescents, or the other methods of child management as throughly, though reward systems, contracts, and a few other tips are covered. I have found it most usefully for parents of limited reading ability (or who simply don't like to read) in teaching them how to correctly use time out. For this it has been invaulable. I try to always keep several on my self to loan out!

SOS for Parents is a classic explaining the one/two/three, time-out method of discipline for children. It is an excellent choice for parents not familiar with the method who need a thorough introduction. However, if you are looking for a broad range of approaches to discipline or discussion of medication or discussion of extremely difficult behavior or ages and stages and how to figure whether your child's behavior is within the range of normal for his or her developmental stage, this is not the book. It simply presents the one approach.

As a psychologist who has taught my share of parenting classes, I can say that Clark's instructions are among the clearest and most useful I've found for parents. In addition to cogent what-to-do instructions, the frequent use of realistic dialog, too, helps the reader know what to say. Nice work, Dr. Clark!

This 3rd edition is now available on Amazon with an ISBN number of 0935111212. The part of SOS that I like best is the `Index of Solutions to 46 Behavior Problems.' Parents are busy people and it's easy to find a section dealing with a particular behavior problem such as tantrums without reading the whole book. I have used most of the SOS solutions in my elementary classroom, with my two sons, and with preschoolers when I taught preschool. These methods work!

Some of my favorite parts are: Index of Solutions to 46 Behavior Problems, handling tantrums and aggressive behavior, time-out for toys that misbehave, and avoiding 9 common errors when using time-out.

Some of my 5th graders actually took the book home to persuade their parents to use its methods with younger siblings. My 5th graders especially liked seeing their parents successfully use SOS methods with their younger brothers and sisters and telling me about it.

I am proud that SOS is in eight languages. At conferences, I have talked with foreign mental health professionals who have told me there is such a need for this parenting book and how grateful they are to find it in their language.

I have found SOS: Help for Parents to be an incredibly useful guide on how to help teach our child good behavior. It is the best book we have seen on how to effectively and sensitively use time-outs with children. This book is very instructive for any parents with a child who they consider spirited and full of energy and personality, especially if using time-outs as a method of discipline is one which you believe in and wish to use. The format and style of the book is pretty bland but is useful nonetheless. My wife and I have learned a lot and now have more successful time-outs (and behavior) as a result!

This book is part of a series put out on a variety of topics including mental health issues. The presentation is similar to what a "Parenting for Dummies" book might look like without making the reader feel dumb. As a Therapist, I use this series with regularity to emphasize specific problem areas with my clients and/or their parents. A good resource guide for parents of children with common behavioral issues. Too basic for more serious mental illnesses, i.e. ADHD, substance abuse, PDD, etc.