SURVIVING THE DEATH OF A SIBLING: Living Through Grief When an Adult Brother or Sister Dies [Paperback]

T.J. Wray (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: May 27, 2003

When T.J. Wray lost her 43-year-old brother, her grief was deep and enduring and, she soon discovered, not fully acknowledged. Despite the longevity of adult sibling relationships, surviving siblings are often made to feel as if their grief is somehow unwarranted. After all, when an adult sibling dies, he or she often leaves behind parents, a spouse, and even children—all of whom suffer a more socially recognized type of loss.

Based on the author's own experiences, as well as those of many others, Surviving the Death of a Sibling helps adults who have lost a brother or sister to realize that they are not alone in their struggle. Just as important, it teaches them to understand the unique stages of their grieving process, offering practical and prescriptive advice for dealing with each stage.

In Surviving the Death of a Sibling, T.J. Wray discusses:

• Searching for and finding meaning in your sibling's passing
• Using a grief journal to record your emotions
• Choosing a grief partner to help you through tough times
• Dealing with insensitive remarks made by others

Warm and personal, and a rich source of useful insights and coping strategies, Surviving the Death of a Sibling is a unique addition to the literature of bereavement.

Editorial Reviews

Review

"If you or someone you love has experienced the death of an adult sibling, then buy this book. Wray is a captivating story teller who weaves stories of herself and many other sibling grievers to bring clarity and understanding to the complex process of sibling grief. Insightful, consoling, and filled with helpful, proactive steps designed to help surviving siblings cope with their devastating loss, Surviving the Death of a Sibling is a "must read" for every surviving sibling."
—Tom Golden LCSW, author of Swallowed by a Snake: The Gift of the Masculine Side of Healing and creator of Webhealing.com

From the Back Cover

"If you or someone you love has experienced the death of an adult sibling, then buy this book. Wray is a captivating story teller who weaves stories of herself and many other sibling grievers to bring clarity and understanding to the complex process of sibling grief. Insightful, consoling, and filled with helpful, proactive steps designed to help surviving siblings cope with their devastating loss, Surviving the Death of a Sibling is a "must read" for every surviving sibling."
—Tom Golden LCSW, author of Swallowed by a Snake: The Gift of the Masculine Side of Healing and creator of Webhealing.com

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 247 pages
• Publisher: Three Rivers Press; 1st edition (May 27, 2003)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0609809806
• ISBN-13: 978-0609809808
• Product Dimensions: 5.2 x 0.6 x 8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 7.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (36 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #23,834 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • #27 in Books > Health, Fitness & Dieting > Mental Health > Abuse & Self Defense > Sexual Abuse
  • #32 in Books > Self-Help > Abuse
  • #84 in Books > Health, Fitness & Dieting > Death & Grief

More About the Author

Dr. T.J. Wray is an Associate Professor of Religious Studies at Salve Regina University in Newport, Rhode Island, where she teaches courses in Biblical Studies and World Religions. She has twice received the Presidential award for academic excellence and was voted Professor of the Year in 2004. The author of several books, including: "Surviving the Death of a Sibling: Living Through Grief When An Adult Brother of Sister Dies" (Random House, Three Rivers Press); "Grief Dreams: How They Help Heal Us After the Death of a Loved One (Wiley); "The Birth of Satan: Tracing the Devil's Biblical Roots (Palgrave); and "Good Girls, Bad Girls: The Enduring Lessons of Twelve Women of the Old Testament" (Rowman & Littlefield), Dr. Wray has appeared on National Public Radio, several television documentaries on the History Channel, and various other television and radio programs across the country. An intrepid traveler, she has lead tours to biblical lands, studied at the Tantur Ecumenical Institute in Jerusalem and participated in the excavations at Mt. Zion, Jerusalem. She is a member of several professional organizations, including The Society of Biblical Literature, The Archaeological Institute of America, and The Tyndale Society. Her next book, "What the Bible Really Tells Us: The Essential Guide for Biblical Literacy" (Rowman & Littlefield) will be released in 2011.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

26 of 26 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A Tribute to our Brothers and Sisters...A Book to TREASURE in our time of sorrow, November 4, 2005

By 

Julie E. Coyne (Pittsburgh, PA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: SURVIVING THE DEATH OF A SIBLING: Living Through Grief When an Adult Brother or Sister Dies (Paperback)

When I first read this book my own brother and only sibling had been dead for many years. During the course of those years I had read every grief book I could find, yet not one spoke directly to me or my situation like Dr. Wray's book. As I read her book I was amazed at how her feelings following the death of her brother so paralleled my own feelings following the death of my brother. Losing a sibling is one of life's greatest, and often, unrecognized losses. Although nothing can take away the sadness and the sense of unfairness that we feel when our brother or sister dies, Dr. Wray's words help us to understand that we are not alone in our sorrow. Comfort comes from the knowledge that others share our pain, and as the book conveys, we, as surviving siblings are forever connected. Dr. Wray truly captures the essence of sibling loss and provides a framework for the stages of grief that a bereaved person typically goes through after the death of a loved one. I was captivated by the experiences of other surviving siblings whose stories are so beautifully woven by Dr. Wray throughout the book. Each chapter ends with a "What Helps" section containing many straightforward and practical suggestions for coping with grief. There is an excellent resource list at the end of the book. In addition to recommending the book to other bereaved siblings, I have also recommended it to anyone who has experienced the loss of a loved one. This book will be a treasure to all those who are suffering through grief!

24 of 24 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars I am so thankful for this book., March 26, 2005

By 

R. Long "Lucky" (Indiana) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: SURVIVING THE DEATH OF A SIBLING: Living Through Grief When an Adult Brother or Sister Dies (Paperback)

I lost my 26-year-old little brother suddenly 2-21-05. Sick with saddness I was searching and searching for online help. I found this book through Wray's website. It is so helpful. I cry everyday, but now I know others weep too. It has eased me into my new life. Josh is not just a memory...he is my brother. My new life isn't filled with the joy he brought, but it is laced with the times we shared. If you have lost a brother or sister...you need this book...you really do.

17 of 17 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars From One Who Has Not Lost A Sibling, October 17, 2005

By 

R. Ballard (San Diego, CA) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: SURVIVING THE DEATH OF A SIBLING: Living Through Grief When an Adult Brother or Sister Dies (Paperback)

This is a must read for everyone! Although I have not lost a sibling, I happened upon this book after my cousin died. Through her own story, Dr. Wray helped me to understand what her sisters were going through and how I could help support them in their own personal loss. I keep a few copies at hand to give to friends and acquaintances that have lost siblings. Time after time, I am thanked for having recognized and validated their pain. And time after time the response I receive from those who have read the book is "FINALLY someone understands what I am experiencing." Dr. Wray's book has not only helped me to become a more empathetic person, it has given comfort and guidance to those suffering a tremendous loss.