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SURVIVING THE DEATH OF A SIBLING: Living Through Grief When an Adult Brother or Sister Dies Paperback – Unabridged, May 27, 2003


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SURVIVING THE DEATH OF A SIBLING:  Living Through Grief When an Adult Brother or Sister Dies + I Wasn't Ready to Say Goodbye: Surviving, Coping and Healing After the Sudden Death of a Loved One
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 247 pages
  • Publisher: Harmony; 1st edition (May 27, 2003)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0609809806
  • ISBN-13: 978-0609809808
  • Product Dimensions: 5.1 x 0.6 x 8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 7.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (76 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #70,681 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

Review

"If you or someone you love has experienced the death of an adult sibling, then buy this book. Wray is a captivating story teller who weaves stories of herself and many other sibling grievers to bring clarity and understanding to the complex process of sibling grief. Insightful, consoling, and filled with helpful, proactive steps designed to help surviving siblings cope with their devastating loss, Surviving the Death of a Sibling is a "must read" for every surviving sibling."
—Tom Golden LCSW, author of Swallowed by a Snake: The Gift of the Masculine Side of Healing and creator of Webhealing.com

From the Back Cover

"If you or someone you love has experienced the death of an adult sibling, then buy this book. Wray is a captivating story teller who weaves stories of herself and many other sibling grievers to bring clarity and understanding to the complex process of sibling grief. Insightful, consoling, and filled with helpful, proactive steps designed to help surviving siblings cope with their devastating loss, Surviving the Death of a Sibling is a "must read" for every surviving sibling."
—Tom Golden LCSW, author of Swallowed by a Snake: The Gift of the Masculine Side of Healing and creator of Webhealing.com

Customer Reviews

I found this book spoke to my heart and understood my deep sense of loss.
Rob O
It felt like the author took my hand and helped me understand all that I was feeling.
kathy duby
I highly recommend this book to anyone grieving the loss of an adult sibling.
Amazon Customer

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

38 of 39 people found the following review helpful By R. Long on March 26, 2005
Format: Paperback
I lost my 26-year-old little brother suddenly 2-21-05. Sick with saddness I was searching and searching for online help. I found this book through Wray's website. It is so helpful. I cry everyday, but now I know others weep too. It has eased me into my new life. Josh is not just a memory...he is my brother. My new life isn't filled with the joy he brought, but it is laced with the times we shared. If you have lost a brother or sister...you need this book...you really do.
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34 of 36 people found the following review helpful By Julie E. Coyne on November 4, 2005
Format: Paperback
When I first read this book my own brother and only sibling had been dead for many years. During the course of those years I had read every grief book I could find, yet not one spoke directly to me or my situation like Dr. Wray's book. As I read her book I was amazed at how her feelings following the death of her brother so paralleled my own feelings following the death of my brother. Losing a sibling is one of life's greatest, and often, unrecognized losses. Although nothing can take away the sadness and the sense of unfairness that we feel when our brother or sister dies, Dr. Wray's words help us to understand that we are not alone in our sorrow. Comfort comes from the knowledge that others share our pain, and as the book conveys, we, as surviving siblings are forever connected. Dr. Wray truly captures the essence of sibling loss and provides a framework for the stages of grief that a bereaved person typically goes through after the death of a loved one. I was captivated by the experiences of other surviving siblings whose stories are so beautifully woven by Dr. Wray throughout the book. Each chapter ends with a "What Helps" section containing many straightforward and practical suggestions for coping with grief. There is an excellent resource list at the end of the book. In addition to recommending the book to other bereaved siblings, I have also recommended it to anyone who has experienced the loss of a loved one. This book will be a treasure to all those who are suffering through grief!
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18 of 19 people found the following review helpful By Angie Mueller on May 14, 2004
Format: Paperback
Thank heavens I found TJ Wray's website and that it brought me to her book.
After the loss of my 29 year old brother to cancer, I did the best I could to "deal with it". I was fortunate to have support, many do not. Unfortunately, when I started to feel more depressed about his death 2 years after, I was concerned that I was slipping into a clinical depression. The more I worried that I was "losing it", the sadder I became.
Ms. Wray's observations about her own loss helped me to realize that my feelings were not unique. I was not going crazy and it allowed me the time to work through them. Grief sometimes comes in waves and this book is like a boat on top of those waves....you can still feel the rocking motion, but you no longer feel like you are drowning.
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15 of 16 people found the following review helpful By C. Jozwiak on December 9, 2004
Format: Paperback
This is an unbelievable book - I literally cried from the beginning to the end. The first-hand accounts from other people who have lost a sibling were heartfelt and their stories were all familiar. It was so helpful to hear that other people had similar experiences, especially one's that I thought only I had (for example, going to the doctor atleast 6 times in the months after my brother died for even the littlest thing). I would recommend this book to anyone - I'm even asking my husband to read it so that he can better understand what I went through. A DEFINITE MUST-READ FOR THOSE SUFFERING FROM THE DEATH OF AN ADULT SIBLING!
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18 of 20 people found the following review helpful By R. Ballard on October 17, 2005
Format: Paperback
This is a must read for everyone! Although I have not lost a sibling, I happened upon this book after my cousin died. Through her own story, Dr. Wray helped me to understand what her sisters were going through and how I could help support them in their own personal loss. I keep a few copies at hand to give to friends and acquaintances that have lost siblings. Time after time, I am thanked for having recognized and validated their pain. And time after time the response I receive from those who have read the book is "FINALLY someone understands what I am experiencing." Dr. Wray's book has not only helped me to become a more empathetic person, it has given comfort and guidance to those suffering a tremendous loss.
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11 of 11 people found the following review helpful By kathy duby on June 15, 2003
Format: Paperback
I live far away from my family and had no one to share my grief with when my sister died. After reading this book I no longer felt so alone with my pain. It felt like the author took my hand and helped me understand all that I was feeling. Each page was a hug. The writing style is warm and conversational and the content is amazingly pertinent to every nuance of feeling. I wish this book had been available when I experienced the loss.
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13 of 14 people found the following review helpful By Sally N. Crowe on September 11, 2004
Format: Paperback
T.J.Wray's book helped me in ways I couldn't begin to imagine. I had lost my brother in 1998, and felt I had no one to talk to who really understood what I was going through. I have a younger brother that I adore, but, he holds so much in, and always has, so I knew he wouldn't want to really have a deep discussion about our loss. I had one friend that I could talk to, but, she was going through her own battle with leukemia so I tried not to burden her anymore than possible. She was exceptionally kind, though, and I really don't know what I would have done without her. My father had already passed away, and my mother was dealing with the pain of her own loss. She was also ill at the time. I really felt quite alone.

Reading T.J.'s book, though, gave me hope. Had it not been for her straight forward, honest, down to earth writing, I might still be finding myself down in that dark hole. After reading what she had been through herself with the loss of her own brother, and the advice that she shared with us, as readers, I did begin to find solace. Thank goodness someone came forward to write about this overlooked issue of sibling grief. I purchased the book for a friend of mine who lost her brother last year. I haven't heard from her, but, I'm hoping in my heart that she took the time to read this excellent work by T.J.Wray. God Bless people like T.J. who take the time to help others by sharing what they, themselves, have been through so we don't feel so alone.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews


More About the Author

Dr. T.J. Wray is an Associate Professor of Religious Studies at Salve Regina University in Newport, Rhode Island, where she teaches courses in Biblical Studies and World Religions. She has twice received the Presidential award for academic excellence and was voted Professor of the Year in 2004. The author of several books, including: "Surviving the Death of a Sibling: Living Through Grief When An Adult Brother of Sister Dies" (Random House, Three Rivers Press); "Grief Dreams: How They Help Heal Us After the Death of a Loved One (Wiley); "The Birth of Satan: Tracing the Devil's Biblical Roots (Palgrave); and "Good Girls, Bad Girls: The Enduring Lessons of Twelve Women of the Old Testament" (Rowman & Littlefield), Dr. Wray has appeared on National Public Radio, several television documentaries on the History Channel, and various other television and radio programs across the country. An intrepid traveler, she has lead tours to biblical lands, studied at the Tantur Ecumenical Institute in Jerusalem and participated in the excavations at Mt. Zion, Jerusalem. She is a member of several professional organizations, including The Society of Biblical Literature, The Archaeological Institute of America, and The Tyndale Society. Her next book, "What the Bible Really Tells Us: The Essential Guide for Biblical Literacy" (Rowman & Littlefield) will be released in 2011.
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