Sacred Connections: Stories Of Adoption [Hardcover]

Ann Koenig (Author), Niki Berg (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: February 27, 2001

Personal sagas of adoption's particular issues and experiences fill this thought-provoking look at 25 adoptive families, written by a prominent expert who was an early champion of open adoption. Clinical psychologist Mary Ann Koenig recounts real-life stories of adoptees and their relationships with both their birth and adoptive parents. Anyone who is part of an adoptive family or is contemplating adopting a child is sure to learn from the circumstances told in these stories and derive enormous inspiration from the triumphs and insights of these ordinary-but quite extraordinary-relationships. Essays are graced by vintage and contemporary photographs. Dr. Mary Ann Koenig, an adoptee herself, has counseled adoptees, birth parents, and adoptive parents for more than twenty years. Niki Berg's photographs have appeared in Ms. and Smithsonian.

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Dr Mary Ann Koenig, an adoptee, has councilled and studied the adoption field for over twenty years. Niki Berg has been a photographer for more than twenty years. Her work has appcared in MS., Berkshire and Smithsonian.

Product Details

• Hardcover: 128 pages
• Publisher: Running Press (February 27, 2001)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0762408014
• ISBN-13: 978-0762408016
• Product Dimensions: 11.2 x 10.1 x 0.6 inches
• Shipping Weight: 2.2 pounds
• Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (7 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,842,840 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

20 of 20 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Hard to Put Down, March 30, 2001

By 

Walter M. Rohlfs (Pennsylvania lawyer) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Sacred Connections: Stories Of Adoption (Hardcover)

"Sacred Connections" is a meticulously researched and lovingly written collection of true stories which alternately make you smile and cry. The book is about adoptees who are searching for their birth mothers, not because of lack of love for their adoptive parents, but because there is an empty spot in their lives which needs filling.

Such searches are not easy. The laws of many states have sealed their birth and adoption records. In addition, fires, floods, and natural disasters have certainly destroyed many of these necessary clues. Many such searches have surely failed, but this book is about those which succeeded.

All of the stories are about adoptees who began their searches as adults or at least older teenagers. Their searches lead them to their mothers (if still living) as well as to their siblings and even grandparents.

The surprising truth brought out by the book is not the fulfillment the adopted people found, but the happiness, the sense of relief, and the release from guilt the birth mothers experienced from the reconnection.

Many of these adoptions occurred in the 50's and 60's when "illegitimacy" was a stigma on both mother and child. The birth mothers were usually just children themselves. They were pressured by parents and religiously run homes for unwed mothers into giving up their children to unknown adoptive parents, sometimes without ever having seen or held their babies. As a result, these birth mothers were frequently left with an emptiness and sense of guilt which the book unerringly captures.

The emotional impact of the reconnection on the child, the birth mother and on the adoptive parents who feared losing their children is carefully chronicled in words and poignant photographs. Each adoptee's story is a distinct emotional experience, and in no cases do they tend to be mere repetitions.

The book deals only with successful searches and happy reconnections, but this is a sufficient task for one book. However, the book clearly illustrates the need for revision of the various states' archaic adoption laws which unduly stress secrecy.

Some birth mothers undoubtedly do not want to be found, and they have every right to believe that the secrecy laws under which they gave up their children will be honored. This conflict between the emotional and psychological needs of innocent adoptees to fill in the empty spots in their lives and the desire of SOME birth mothers to remain forever anonymous continues to rage.

However, in order to evaluate the pros and cons of opening the records, it is necessary to realize that many birth mothers were coerced into adoptions in states which just happened to have secrecy in adoption laws. They were not given choices, and because so many were children themselves, their decisions were suspect and subject to change with maturity.

It seems to me that the states should adopt new national uniform adoption laws as has been done in such matters as child custody. The records could then be opened to ombudsmen who, at the adoptees request, could locate and contact the birth mothers, tell them their children are searching for them and give these birth mothers the opportunity to reconnect.

I would strongly recommend that before deciding, these birth mothers be given a copy of "Sacred Connections" to read before deciding so they might gain insights into the needs of their birth children to find them and realize the benefits to the birth mothers of such reconnection.

Once started, "Sacred Connections" is hard to put down. I recommend it most highly.

12 of 13 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A gift!!, February 18, 2001

By 

"3jstetz" (Exton, PA USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Sacred Connections: Stories Of Adoption (Hardcover)

Sacred Connections is a gift to anyone in the adoption circle. The stories are insightful, touching and honest. As a adoptive parent I especially appreciate the stories showing adoptive parents as supportive of their children's need to connect with their biological family. Often, the media depicts the adoptive parents as resistant to their child's need to search and this simply isn't accurate. Many adoptive parents have come to recognize that their child's biological roots are not something to be feared but to be celebrated. I recommend Sacred Connections to anyone who has been affected by adoption.

7 of 7 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Beautifully done., May 16, 2001

By 

Heather Lowe "hslowe" (Corning NY) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Sacred Connections: Stories Of Adoption (Hardcover)

I'm a birth mother of a child in an open adoption, and I gave this book to my son's adoptive mother for Mother's Day. The black and white photographs are gorgeous, and they really sum up all the complex emotions inherent in adoptive relationships. The text for each story is well-written and illuminating, and the authors were obviously careful to represent the full range of adoption experiences. If you're looking for something special to express the lifelong connections between the adopted person and his or her birth and adoptive families, this is your book.