The Sacred Flight of the Teenager: A Parent's Guide to Stepping Back and Letting Go [Paperback]

Susan Smith Kuczmarski (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: April 1, 2004

Adolescence is a time of confusion and contradictions for teens and parents alike. Dozens of organizations are devoted to the problems of dysfunctional families and adolescents...as they should be. But few resources are avialable for parents struggling to proactively deal with the everyday problem of raising teenagers. "The Sacred Flight of the Teenager" provides the gentle, yet enthusiastic support parents need to help their teenagers develop strength, become independent, and grow into responsible adults.

This book is filled with practical guidance on how to nurture a teen's confidence within a loving, supportive family environment. Though based on sound theory, formed in the author's 30 years' experience as an authority on family culture, this book doesn't dwell in abstraction. Interviews with more than 100 "veteran" parents and with teens who earned their wings by meeting the daily challenges of real-life flight---as well as anecdotes from her own home front---all combine to infuse the book with a sense of reality and relatability that can only come from voices out of the "front lines."

This book gives its profound insights and down-to-earth tools in short, easy-to-read vignettes that illuminate the "sacred flight"---the life journey every child takes through adolescence and into adulthood. Written with kindliness, empathy, and good humor, in prose that speaks to the heart and gets to the heart of the matter, "The Sacred Flight of the Teenager" will be a wise an supportive guide to every parent who reads it.

Editorial Reviews

Review

Well-written in an easy-going, readable tone that communicates well with parents, this book is an encouraging, supportive guide to helping parents step back and appreciate the unique life situation they are involved in with their teen. This book is filled with great insights and real world ideas about how to help both yourself and your teenager navigate this crazy, turbulent time together. This book supports parents and shows how you can be more effective if you step back, be flexible, speak without asking too many question, let them make mistakes and many other difficult steps that are essential in allowing your child to discover their own strengths as they move towards adulthood. --The National Parenting Center --Seal of Approval Award

The teenage years are often as painful for parents as for teens. Rather than trying to avoid that inevitable pain, this book advises parents to totally embrace the transformation that is occurring. Kuczmarski offers plenty of witty and concise insights and explanations to help a parent get through the tough times. For example, she points out that the argumentative teen may be only trying to get a grip on abstract thinking, so instead of resisting and resenting arguments, try setting up debates or creating a think tank. Pointers on knowing when to get involved and when to step back and reminders for parents to respond with kindness rather than defensiveness are among the book's other contributions. Many parents will also be grateful for the eye-opening Primer on Drugs. Apt suggestions for helping teens to recognize and dialogue with their inner judges and using affirmations to identify the buried treasure of their strengths and talents serve to honor the enormous potential and idealism of youth. There's much more, but perhaps the best advice of all is to laugh regularly and to have some type of practice or discipline to help you stay balanced. Recently awarded The National Parenting Center's prestigious Seal of Approval, this book holds out a kind and compassionate helping hand to parent and teen alike. --NAPRA Review

One of the toughest aspects of parenting teenagers is addressed by Dr. Susan Smith Kuczmarski in "The Sacred Flight of the Teenager." Beyond the day-to-day trenches, Kuczmarski helps the reader think through the transitions from teen to adult and addresses parents' own necessary transitions as well. In a series of forty personal essays, the author organizes her writing under the topics: Letting Go, Keeping in Touch, Exploring, Acquiring Skills, and Connecting. The author's experiences help parents think about the other end of parenting---the time to set young adults free: "Your role is clear: Guard your teen from harm, foul play, and injury. Go to bat for a teen to prevent abuse, maltreatment, and crippling damage, when your teen is in real danger. But let teens go to bat for themselves when they are not in imminent danger." --ForeWord Magazine

About the Author

Dr. Susan Smith Kuczmarski is an educator who teaches teachers, a cultural anthropologist who studies family culture, a sociologist who views families as small interactive groups, and a parent who has experienced families firsthand. She has done extensive research directly related to how children learn social skills and how teens become leaders. She holds a Doctorate in Education from Columbia University in New York City, where she was named an International Fellow.

Over the last thirty years, she has conducted lectures, workshops, and seminars on teens, family togetherness, and learning leadership. She is a frequent radio and television guest, holds two additional master's degrees from Columbia University, and has been listed in "Who s Who in the World" for twelve years. She was recently selected for inclusion in "Outstanding People of the 21st Century," "500 Leaders of World Influence," and "2000 Outstanding Writers of the 20th Century."

Dr. Kuczmarski has taught at seven universities, worked in three non-profit educational organizations, including the United Nations, and co-founded an innovation consulting firm, Kuczmarski & Associates, in Chicago. She is the author of three additional books: Values-Based Leadership, The Family Bond: Inspiring Tips for Creating a Closer Family, and Apples Are Square: Thinking Differently About Leadership (Kaplan Publishing, Summer 2007). Both parenting books received the prestigious Seal of Approval award from the National Parenting Center.

She serves as a Family and Teen Expert for www.clubmom.com. In addition, she is a member of the Advisory Board of www.leanforwardmedia.com and www.choosemovie.com. During the course of a career spanning almost three decades, she has given presentations to teachers, parents, teens, and social service agencies, as well as corporate and civic groups.

Product Details

• Paperback: 176 pages
• Publisher: Bookends Publishing (April 1, 2004)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0967781736
• ISBN-13: 978-0967781730
• Product Dimensions: 8.8 x 6 x 0.5 inches
• Shipping Weight: 9 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (3 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #974,011 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Susan Smith Kuczmarski, Ed.D. is a well-known speaker and authority on leadership, teenagers, and culture. She is known for her interactive teaching style, cutting-edge material, and connection with her audiences. She offers a step-by-step blueprint to help individuals lead teams, measure their own leadership growth, risk-taking and creativity, and better understand their work culture. Trained as a cultural anthropologist, she has researched extensively how successful leaders acquire leadership skills.

For more than 30 years she has conducted leadership programs for all kinds of audiences, from businesses, teachers, parents, even teens, to new delegates to the United Nations. She is the co-founder of Kuczmarski & Associates, a nationally recognized innovation management consulting firm in Chicago. Over the course of her career she has taught at 7 universities. She currently teaches "New Leadership for an Innovative Edge" at Northwestern University's Kellogg School of Management.

Dr. Kuczmarski believes that everyone has an "inner leader" if they want to discover and develop it. Her leadership training approach reflects this focus. She inspires fresh perspective and innovative techniques to empower individuals and their teams to do great work. Her seminar participants discover how to nurture leadership styles that facilitate trust and team performance. They also learn the six people-oriented values--humility, compassion, transparency, inclusiveness, collaboration, and values-based decisiveness.

She is the author of 4 award-winning books. "The Family Bond: Inspiring Tips for Creating A Closer Family" and "The Sacred Flight of the Teenager: A Parent's Guide to Stepping Back and Letting Go" both received the prestigious "Seal of Approval" award from the National Parenting Center. In addition, she has written 2 books on leadership, "Values-Based Leadership" and "Apples Are Square: Thinking Differently About Leadership," which was selected by Fast Company Magazine as a "2007 Best Business Book."


Kuczmarski holds a Doctorate in Education and 2 master's degrees from Columbia University, where she was named an International Fellow. She is a frequent radio and television guest and has appeared on the "Today Show." For 12 years, she has been listed in "Who's Who in the World."

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

12 of 12 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars An Invaluable Jewel of Insight and Information, October 28, 2002

By 

Richard Hagle (Evanston, Illinois) - See all my reviews

This review is from: The Sacred Flight of the Teenager: A Parent's Guide to Stepping Back and Letting Go. (Hardcover)

What an exceptional blend of empathy, creativity, and good old-fashioned common sense for the contemporary parent. The author obviously had children of her own--chapters are written in short, conversational passages that can be read 5 minutes at a time--a near necessity for today's time-starved parent.

One of the experts who reviewed this book said that she "wished she had had it when raising their children." I can't do better than that, but I can second the statement.

5 of 5 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Courtesy of Teens Read Too, October 20, 2006

By 

TeensReadToo "Eat. Drink. Read. Be Merrier." (All Over the US & Canada) - See all my reviews

This review is from: The Sacred Flight of the Teenager: A Parent's Guide to Stepping Back and Letting Go (Paperback)

Dr. Susan Smith Kuczmarski is a social scientist who has spent twenty-five years as an educator, lecturer, and authority on family culture. The great thing about THE SACRED FLIGHT OF THE TEENAGER is that, unlike so many other educational guidebooks out there, Dr. Kuczmarski doesn't dwell on dysfunctional families, but those normal parents and teens
working together to survive adolescence.

The book is divided into the follow categories and sub-categories:

Part 1--Letting Go: The Sacred Step; Pain; The Art of Argument; Tai Chi; On Stepping in and Stepping Back; A Feast of Laughter; Superteen Takes Flight; and Turtle Medicine.

Part 2--Keeping in Touch: The Wisdom of Goats; Values; Changing Values; Hello in There; Tips for Talking to Teens; Letting Feelings Out; The Judge and the Detective; and Buried Treasure.

Part 3--Exploring: Surfing Life; Rude and Cantankerous; Fending for Themselves; Gunny Sacks; Freedom; Nourishing Mistakes and Hard-Won Lessons; Primer on Drugs; and Ground Rules.

Part 4--Acquiring Skills: A Boat on the Water; Maneuvering in the Adult World; Behind the Wheel; Work Discoveries; The Spirit of Giving; Relationships; Singing Heart--First Love, Passion, and Sex; and Looking Ahead Together.

Part 5--Connecting: Witches, Aunties, and Guides; Play and Nourishment; Creating Families of Their Own; Becoming a Group Member; Learning Leadership; Beach Glass and Exploring; Mental Shift; and Self-Acceptance.

I have always been a big believer that it is my job, as a parent, to help my children develop strong morals and values that they can take with them when it's time to go out on their own. Dr. Kuczmarski reiterates those beliefs, and then provides practical advice on how to go about letting your teenager take off into the world. This is the perfect book for parents struggling to find a balance between being helpful and being overprotective and judgmental, and for teens wanting to gain knowledge on how to interact with their parents.

Reviewed by: Jennifer Wardrip, aka "The Genius"

0 of 1 people found the following review helpful:

2.0 out of 5 stars Not what I expected, August 19, 2009

By 

Dawn Miller - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: The Sacred Flight of the Teenager: A Parent's Guide to Stepping Back and Letting Go (Paperback)

I really did not find this book very helpful. There were a few helpful hints but for the most part, it was pretty much common sense. I didn't find anything of substance from it. I found it pretty general and not very insightful or detailed.