Sacred Friendships - Celebrating the Legacy of Women Heroes of the Faith [Paperback]

Robert W. Kellemen (Author), Susan M. Ellis (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: September 11, 2009

Celebrate the incredible stories of over fify amazing Christian women whose lives will change forever how you view women and their ministries. SACRED FRIENDSHIPS gives voice to the voiceless as it narrates how godly women have provided soul care and spiritual direction for the past 2,000 years. It enlightens readers to the often neglected legacy of Christian women and then equips women and men to apply that legacy to their lives and ministries today.

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Dr. Robert W. Kellemen is chairman of the Master of Arts in Christian Counseling and Discipleship Department at Capital Bible Seminary in Lanham, MD. He also works as a consultant for the 50,000-member American Association of Christian Counselors (AACC's). He is the Director of the AACC's Religious Leaders' Division and also the AACC's Theology and Pastoral Counseling Director.

Product Details

• Paperback: 296 pages
• Publisher: BMH Books; 1st edition (September 11, 2009)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0884692647
• ISBN-13: 978-0884692645
• Product Dimensions: 8.3 x 5.5 x 0.9 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (13 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,161,249 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars The soul care and spiritual direction of women through church history, October 13, 2009

By 

L. Wiggins - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)   

This review is from: Sacred Friendships - Celebrating the Legacy of Women Heroes of the Faith (Paperback)

In the writings of early church history, women's voices have gone underrepresented. This realization began Dr. Robert Kellemen's desire for writing Sacred Friendships. In addition to his work in biblical counseling, his personal passion is to empower "those who have been robbed of their voice." Like the women they profile in their book, co-author Susan Ellis' passion lies in ministering to women and seeing God work in their lives. Kellemen and Ellis combined their passions in order to write the stories of more than fifty remarkable Christian women who offered care and direction for the souls of men and women throughout church history.

According to Kellemen and Ellis, "experts who examine the history of spiritual care have consistently identified" two pillars of christian counseling as soul care (helping people in their suffering) and spiritual direction (helping people fight sin and develop intimacy with Christ). Soul care involves sustaining and healing, while spiritual direction includes reconciling and guiding. Kellemen and Ellis have organized the stories of these women around these two pillars and four areas of Christian counseling. They were careful to study and discern many manuscripts, journals, and correspondence in order to accurately uncover each woman's unique way of practicing soul care and spiritual direction. The authors ask very specific questions of each woman's life and her relationships in an effort to understand the natures of each one's manner of care giving. Christian women have been providing counseling and wisdom in these four areas for centuries. "By following in their footsteps, we can reclaim the ancient gifts of soul care and spiritual direction, restore the forgotten arts of sustaining, healing, reconciling, and guiding, and experience a reformation in how we minister to one another."

Beginning with Vibia Perpetua (AD 181-203) and ending with Betsie ten Boom (1885-1944), Kellemen and Ellis uncover the stories of some of the most spiritually influential women of the last two thousand years: women of velvet steel who stood firm in faith and sought to do everything in love. Some names, like Susanna Wesley or Teresa of Avila, will sound familiar, but Catharine Brown and Dhuoda may be unfamiliar. Sacred Friendships includes the stories of more than fifty women and, consequently, as many different ways of ministering to souls. However, one will also find that the women share several common characteristics. For instance, each one lived what she taught, developed a biblical theology of suffering, exhibited a passionate love for God and His people, studied scripture and accurately applied it to circumstances, and displayed humility and a teachable spirit. One of the most interesting common denominators to me is that despite their spiritual gifting and abilities, none of these women sought a title or position within their churches. Though they did not suppress their gifts, they were humble, obedient, and sought only the glory of Christ.

I appreciate each story for different reasons, but I'd like to share a few personal impressions. First, I found myself pleasantly surprised by what I learned about the women commonly referred to as mystics. The women profiled in this book and the manner in which they cared for souls seem to be very different from present-day mystics. There is a growing trend these days to practice the ancient paths in an effort to understand our spiritual roots, however the trend seems to focus more on spiritual experiences. In contrast, Sacred Friendships provides examples of how the early Christian women based their lives on the scriptures available to them and how they courageously faced spiritual and emotional trials "before the advent of modern secular psychology." When it comes to soul care and spiritual direction, Kellemen and Ellis explain, "The biblically balanced approach is neither mysticism nor scholasticism. Mysticism degrades into a shallow, self-centered focus on experience apart from truth and feelings without core beliefs. Scholasticism collapses into a cold-hearted, Pharisaical emphasis on judgmentalism, sin-spotting, and 'discernment' without grace. True biblical soul care and spiritual direction have always combined an unremitting concern for changing lives with Christ's changeless truth -- integrating head and heart, Scripture and soul."

Another story that impressed me is that of Elizabeth Keckley. My husband and I were watching Ken Burns' documentary, "The Civil War," when I learned of Mary Lincoln's terrible grief following the assassination of President Lincoln. The picture on the screen shows an empty, blood-stained bed, while the voice-over tells the story of a frantic Mary at his side, wailing and grabbing for him so much that the men in the room forcibly removed her from his side. This part of the narrative bothered me, and I wondered what happened to Mary after she was forced away from her husband's death bed. Kellemen and Ellis answer this question with the story of soul-caring Elizabeth Keckley, a slave who became the dressmaker for Mrs. Lincoln. It was to her side that Mary flew and received the spiritual succor she desperately needed that evening and for rest of her life. Keckley endured terrible pain and suffering as a slave for thirty years before moving to the White House. It was her acquaintance with grief that especially suited her to minister to Mary Lincoln. "In those days, of all people, a formerly enslaved black woman was the one human being on the face of the earth who could comfort the President's widow. And how? With her empathy. With her silence. With her physical presence. With her loving companionship." Keckley's story is difficult to read, but inspirational for its example of endurance and hope.

Finally, each woman's way of life demonstrates at least one characteristic that we would do well to emulate. For instance, Kellemen and Ellis profile Perpetua and Macrina the Elder as they joyfully encouraged one another as they faced persecution and martyrdom; Monica, whose piety drowned out her husband's irreverence; Gregonia and Clare of Assissi, who were so heavenly minded they were of immense earthly good; Olympias, who was pious and courageous; the Desert Mothers, whose whole lives were open books for their disciples to read and imitate; and most for their theological depth and discernment. Each story also impressed upon me the importance of practicing the spiritual disciplines and cultivating genuine, spiritual friendships with Christian women. Indeed, I found myself longing for a true, spiritual friendship like the beautiful one shared by Marie Goby and Elisabeth Leseur. Marie writes, "These are very intimate matters that I share with you, my sister and friend; there is not another person with whom I would share them. God has placed you in my path, perhaps because he saw that in spite of his loving caresses, I still remained in spiritual isolation, and he wanted to give me the sweet consolation of a completely spiritual friendship. May God be blessed for that!" And from Elisabeth to Marie, "We're never really separated, since we live and work for the same beloved Master and are one with him in front of the tabernacle or at other times of prayer. And yet I experience such a deep calm, truly a consolation when I'm able to open my heart to you, fully one with you in spirit. Although we're not near one another, it is so good to know I'm united with a true spiritual sister who prays for me, and that in God there is no distance, since all hearts meet together in the heart of Jesus."

I am happy to recommend Sacred Friendships to Christian women, counselors and mentors, and women in ministry. It's a perfect book for a women's book club or small group; the discussion questions are quite thought-provoking and would lend themselves to an edifying small group discussion. Read it with your mentor or use it to begin your own sacred friendship.

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A Must-Read for Christian Women, October 22, 2009

By 

Kelly Harbaugh (Lebanon, TN) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Sacred Friendships - Celebrating the Legacy of Women Heroes of the Faith (Paperback)

This book is a "must read" for Christian women.

I laughed, I cried...I was humbled.

In a time when women's ministry is often synonymous with brunch and chocolate, we can all learn from the women in Sacred Friendships.

The wisdom, boldness, perseverance, love, and sacrifice displayed by these female heroes will make you want to put down that latte and get to work in the body of Christ.

This historical narrative presents the stories over 50 women and covers 2000 years of church history. The authors allow these women to shine their own light through their letters, diaries, and other writings. We also hear the words of those who were influenced by their faith.

These women teach us to balance life and doctrine, humble care and bold courage, content and character. They speak the truth in love. They teach, counsel, and encourage others through their words and through their actions.

The list of heroes includes mothers and sisters of the saints. It includes martyrs and deaconesses, wives of famous pastors, and women who quietly instructed and discipled followers in their rural homes. You will hear from women who boldly spoke out against and debated male leaders during the Great Western Schism, the Reformation, and the road to Emancipation. There are stories of those who endured slavery and those who fought against slavery. The book ends in a Nazi prison camp, where the faith of one woman encouraged and influenced those around her.

Diversity among the women in Sacred Friendships affirms that all women can serve in God's kingdom. These women were married, single, and widowed. They included women of high position and political influence, peasants, prisoners, and slaves. Some were mothers and some never had children. All of them lived authentic lives of faith.

I would definitley recommend this book.

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Must read for ALL biblical counselors!, October 21, 2009

By 

M. Kelly (Indiana) - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)    (REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Sacred Friendships - Celebrating the Legacy of Women Heroes of the Faith (Paperback)

The authors, Kellemen & Ellis, do a fantastic job of immediately addressing the stated purpose of Sacred Friendships from the beginning of the book. They draw the reader in with their masterful telling of the forgotten voices of women believers throughout history. In the telling of each and every story, the reader is faced with the encouragement and challenge to adapt the biblical practice of "soul care and spiritual direction" (biblical counseling).

Personally, I read this book with the goal of pulling out the very specific aspects of soul care and spiritual direction, with a view of using these stories as illustrations of biblical counseling done properly. I was not disappointed. Each story, (many just glimpses into these godly women's lives), gave insight into "sustaining, healing, reconciling and guiding". As a lover of history, I enjoyed being introduced to the godly heritage of these forgotten voices. Kellemen & Ellis made it very clear, not only in relating these stories and history, but through adequate and concise quotes from our historical, biblical fathers that these women played instrumental roles in the church. From Vibia Perpetua (181-203AD) to Betsie ten Boom (1885-1944), insight on how to deal with sin and suffering leaped from the pages of Sacred Friendships.

I received two copies of Sacred Friendships. One was a review copy and the other was one I ordered personally. I used my review copy to "mark up" and pull valuable soul care and spiritual direction insights. My personal copy has already been handed out in hopes to be used of God as a tool to encourage the reader to greater sensitivity in ministering to others. I can confidently recommend Sacred Friendships as a challenging and encouraging resource for self-counsel, as well as, for counseling insights for ministry to others.

Recommended; paper-back, 300 pages.