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Sacred Friendships - Celebrating the Legacy of Women Heroes of the Faith

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In the writings of early church history, women's voices have gone underrepresented. This realization began Dr. Robert Kellemen's desire for writing Sacred Friendships. In addition to his work in biblical counseling, his personal passion is to empower "those who have been robbed of their voice." Like the women they profile in their book, co-author Susan Ellis' passion lies in ministering to women and seeing God work in their lives. Kellemen and Ellis combined their passions in order to write the stories of more than fifty remarkable Christian women who offered care and direction for the souls of men and women throughout church history.

According to Kellemen and Ellis, "experts who examine the history of spiritual care have consistently identified" two pillars of christian counseling as soul care (helping people in their suffering) and spiritual direction (helping people fight sin and develop intimacy with Christ). Soul care involves sustaining and healing, while spiritual direction includes reconciling and guiding. Kellemen and Ellis have organized the stories of these women around these two pillars and four areas of Christian counseling. They were careful to study and discern many manuscripts, journals, and correspondence in order to accurately uncover each woman's unique way of practicing soul care and spiritual direction. The authors ask very specific questions of each woman's life and her relationships in an effort to understand the natures of each one's manner of care giving. Christian women have been providing counseling and wisdom in these four areas for centuries. "By following in their footsteps, we can reclaim the ancient gifts of soul care and spiritual direction, restore the forgotten arts of sustaining, healing, reconciling, and guiding, and experience a reformation in how we minister to one another."

Beginning with Vibia Perpetua (AD 181-203) and ending with Betsie ten Boom (1885-1944), Kellemen and Ellis uncover the stories of some of the most spiritually influential women of the last two thousand years: women of velvet steel who stood firm in faith and sought to do everything in love. Some names, like Susanna Wesley or Teresa of Avila, will sound familiar, but Catharine Brown and Dhuoda may be unfamiliar. Sacred Friendships includes the stories of more than fifty women and, consequently, as many different ways of ministering to souls. However, one will also find that the women share several common characteristics. For instance, each one lived what she taught, developed a biblical theology of suffering, exhibited a passionate love for God and His people, studied scripture and accurately applied it to circumstances, and displayed humility and a teachable spirit. One of the most interesting common denominators to me is that despite their spiritual gifting and abilities, none of these women sought a title or position within their churches. Though they did not suppress their gifts, they were humble, obedient, and sought only the glory of Christ.

I appreciate each story for different reasons, but I'd like to share a few personal impressions. First, I found myself pleasantly surprised by what I learned about the women commonly referred to as mystics. The women profiled in this book and the manner in which they cared for souls seem to be very different from present-day mystics. There is a growing trend these days to practice the ancient paths in an effort to understand our spiritual roots, however the trend seems to focus more on spiritual experiences. In contrast, Sacred Friendships provides examples of how the early Christian women based their lives on the scriptures available to them and how they courageously faced spiritual and emotional trials "before the advent of modern secular psychology." When it comes to soul care and spiritual direction, Kellemen and Ellis explain, "The biblically balanced approach is neither mysticism nor scholasticism. Mysticism degrades into a shallow, self-centered focus on experience apart from truth and feelings without core beliefs. Scholasticism collapses into a cold-hearted, Pharisaical emphasis on judgmentalism, sin-spotting, and 'discernment' without grace. True biblical soul care and spiritual direction have always combined an unremitting concern for changing lives with Christ's changeless truth -- integrating head and heart, Scripture and soul."

Another story that impressed me is that of Elizabeth Keckley. My husband and I were watching Ken Burns' documentary, "The Civil War," when I learned of Mary Lincoln's terrible grief following the assassination of President Lincoln. The picture on the screen shows an empty, blood-stained bed, while the voice-over tells the story of a frantic Mary at his side, wailing and grabbing for him so much that the men in the room forcibly removed her from his side. This part of the narrative bothered me, and I wondered what happened to Mary after she was forced away from her husband's death bed. Kellemen and Ellis answer this question with the story of soul-caring Elizabeth Keckley, a slave who became the dressmaker for Mrs. Lincoln. It was to her side that Mary flew and received the spiritual succor she desperately needed that evening and for rest of her life. Keckley endured terrible pain and suffering as a slave for thirty years before moving to the White House. It was her acquaintance with grief that especially suited her to minister to Mary Lincoln. "In those days, of all people, a formerly enslaved black woman was the one human being on the face of the earth who could comfort the President's widow. And how? With her empathy. With her silence. With her physical presence. With her loving companionship." Keckley's story is difficult to read, but inspirational for its example of endurance and hope.

Finally, each woman's way of life demonstrates at least one characteristic that we would do well to emulate. For instance, Kellemen and Ellis profile Perpetua and Macrina the Elder as they joyfully encouraged one another as they faced persecution and martyrdom; Monica, whose piety drowned out her husband's irreverence; Gregonia and Clare of Assissi, who were so heavenly minded they were of immense earthly good; Olympias, who was pious and courageous; the Desert Mothers, whose whole lives were open books for their disciples to read and imitate; and most for their theological depth and discernment. Each story also impressed upon me the importance of practicing the spiritual disciplines and cultivating genuine, spiritual friendships with Christian women. Indeed, I found myself longing for a true, spiritual friendship like the beautiful one shared by Marie Goby and Elisabeth Leseur. Marie writes, "These are very intimate matters that I share with you, my sister and friend; there is not another person with whom I would share them. God has placed you in my path, perhaps because he saw that in spite of his loving caresses, I still remained in spiritual isolation, and he wanted to give me the sweet consolation of a completely spiritual friendship. May God be blessed for that!" And from Elisabeth to Marie, "We're never really separated, since we live and work for the same beloved Master and are one with him in front of the tabernacle or at other times of prayer. And yet I experience such a deep calm, truly a consolation when I'm able to open my heart to you, fully one with you in spirit. Although we're not near one another, it is so good to know I'm united with a true spiritual sister who prays for me, and that in God there is no distance, since all hearts meet together in the heart of Jesus."

I am happy to recommend Sacred Friendships to Christian women, counselors and mentors, and women in ministry. It's a perfect book for a women's book club or small group; the discussion questions are quite thought-provoking and would lend themselves to an edifying small group discussion. Read it with your mentor or use it to begin your own sacred friendship.

This book is a "must read" for Christian women.

I laughed, I cried...I was humbled.

In a time when women's ministry is often synonymous with brunch and chocolate, we can all learn from the women in Sacred Friendships.

The wisdom, boldness, perseverance, love, and sacrifice displayed by these female heroes will make you want to put down that latte and get to work in the body of Christ.

This historical narrative presents the stories over 50 women and covers 2000 years of church history. The authors allow these women to shine their own light through their letters, diaries, and other writings. We also hear the words of those who were influenced by their faith.

These women teach us to balance life and doctrine, humble care and bold courage, content and character. They speak the truth in love. They teach, counsel, and encourage others through their words and through their actions.

The list of heroes includes mothers and sisters of the saints. It includes martyrs and deaconesses, wives of famous pastors, and women who quietly instructed and discipled followers in their rural homes. You will hear from women who boldly spoke out against and debated male leaders during the Great Western Schism, the Reformation, and the road to Emancipation. There are stories of those who endured slavery and those who fought against slavery. The book ends in a Nazi prison camp, where the faith of one woman encouraged and influenced those around her.

Diversity among the women in Sacred Friendships affirms that all women can serve in God's kingdom. These women were married, single, and widowed. They included women of high position and political influence, peasants, prisoners, and slaves. Some were mothers and some never had children. All of them lived authentic lives of faith.

I would definitley recommend this book.

The authors, Kellemen & Ellis, do a fantastic job of immediately addressing the stated purpose of Sacred Friendships from the beginning of the book. They draw the reader in with their masterful telling of the forgotten voices of women believers throughout history. In the telling of each and every story, the reader is faced with the encouragement and challenge to adapt the biblical practice of "soul care and spiritual direction" (biblical counseling).

Personally, I read this book with the goal of pulling out the very specific aspects of soul care and spiritual direction, with a view of using these stories as illustrations of biblical counseling done properly. I was not disappointed. Each story, (many just glimpses into these godly women's lives), gave insight into "sustaining, healing, reconciling and guiding". As a lover of history, I enjoyed being introduced to the godly heritage of these forgotten voices. Kellemen & Ellis made it very clear, not only in relating these stories and history, but through adequate and concise quotes from our historical, biblical fathers that these women played instrumental roles in the church. From Vibia Perpetua (181-203AD) to Betsie ten Boom (1885-1944), insight on how to deal with sin and suffering leaped from the pages of Sacred Friendships.

I received two copies of Sacred Friendships. One was a review copy and the other was one I ordered personally. I used my review copy to "mark up" and pull valuable soul care and spiritual direction insights. My personal copy has already been handed out in hopes to be used of God as a tool to encourage the reader to greater sensitivity in ministering to others. I can confidently recommend Sacred Friendships as a challenging and encouraging resource for self-counsel, as well as, for counseling insights for ministry to others.

Recommended; paper-back, 300 pages.

The book tells the stories of women from Perpetua (181-203) through Betsie ten Boom (1885-1944). The forgotten stories of daughters, sisters, wives, mothers- and above all disciples. Some of the names I was familiar with, but many of the ladies profiled I had never met. Kellemen and Ellis give a few pages of biographical information and weave through application for our daily lives.

Women today can thank Kellemen and Ellis for the great gift of wisdom from generations of women who have gone before us. Not only for the hours of research it took to compile this book, but also for their personal touches of application and encouragement.

The women profiled can thank Kellemen and Ellis for the great gift of allowing their voices to be heard.

The early Christians lived in a society that produced more questions than answers, more persecution than peace, and more discouragement then encouragement. As a result they were in desperate need of godly input. Mindful of this the author of Hebrews provided them with strong counsel and also reminded them of the many inspirational examples who had gone on before them. Pointing them to a "great cloud of witnesses" whose lives testified to "the validity and veracity of faith" he made it possible for them to both see and hear these great heroes of the faith cheering them on in unison as they ran their "race of faith" despite overwhelming exhaustion and hurdles of unbelievable proportions.

Times have changed yet much remains the same. The need for spiritual inspiration, encouragement, and empowerment is as real now as it was then. But where is our "great cloud of witnesses?" In our search to find "relevant" solutions to all of life's ills we have had a tendency to allow "today's crying needs to drown out yesterday's relevant answers." Why? Because in our striving for relevance we have neglected the wisdom it is possible to glean from the many historical voices of the church. These voices of the past are deep wells from which we could quench our thirst for spiritual wisdom--if only we could hear them.

Fortunately authors Robert Kellemen and Susan Ellis, in their book "Sacred Friendships: Celebrating the Legacy of Women Heroes of the Faith" have taken a walk down the ancient paths in search of "voices from the past." Not just any voices but particularly the voices of Christian women who were persecuted, maligned, and misunderstood yet overcame allowing their experiences to equip them with a spiritual root system that made it possible for them to "withstand high winds and parching drought" so that we can find nourishment for our souls, by their life stories, that will help us to spiritually flourish.

Historically they have provided a profile of spiritual care that consists of two basic themes: soul care, and spiritual direction. These two themes are broken down into four tasks: sustaining, healing, reconciling, and guiding. Throughout the course of the book over and over again this "model" of spiritual care can be clearly seen.

The authors' passion "to be a voice of the voiceless" and to provide encouragement by sharing the stories of others who have gone before us is clearly seen. Together they share the untold stories of over 50 previously voiceless women, of all races and nationalities, spanning 2,000 years and five continents. A "great cloud of witnesses" emerges from which we can learn much and be empowered by. This "mighty company of gallant women believers" have modeled soul care & spiritual direction down through the annals of time.

I highly recommend that you purchase this book and read it in its entirety. I was honored to do so and have been deeply challenged. The authors have done an masterful job of researching and presenting compelling and inspiring information on women in ministry. They have also provided a study guide that allows for reflection and discussion. It is a must read for biblical counselors, a great teaching tool, and also a wonderful addition to any believer's Christian library.

I have read parts of Dr. Kellemen's previous book on soul care, Beyond the Suffering: Embracing the Legacy of African-American Soul Care and Spiritual Direction. I was most impressed by the presentation of African-American heroes of the faith that were able to God in light of their complex living conditions. But, what caught my proverbial eyes was, the method in which the heroes operated in to move beyond suffering and moving toward God.

Often times during my seminary experience (only a couple classes taken), I have often where are the models of ministry from the minority community. Where are the minorities the tapestry in the Christian faith? Specifically, while men played a role such as Martin Luther or John Calvin, each of them huge headliners in my theological preference and background, where were women? How were they "towing the line" and ministering to each other? While their names weren't predominately known like Calvin and Luther, the must have surely been making large impacts to the Christian communities that they lived in.

This brings us to this book review of Sacred Friendships.

I must tell you that this is a fine book of examples of women in the Christian faith from different backgrounds that did in fact "tow the line". Some of the stories that I read were amazing and truly represented the Christian faith in a light that I had never seen before. These women were examples that my two girls can look to as examples of women who generally love the Lord during difficult circumstances.

This book has a double impact on the Kingdom of God both advocating Women of the Christian Faith and exposing a biblical model for Christian Counseling.

Also, I recommend reading this book and advocating this method of counseling. Often times, you see counseling done by medicating the person without really looking at the issues they are dealing with and fail to offering them something that medication can't care for--the care of the spiritual soul.

Would you be interested in the history of fifty history changing women? Women of character, fortitude and great faith? Would you learn about these women who shaped and changed the lives of others?

Sacred Friendships: Celebrating the Legacy of Women Heroes of the Faith by Robert W. Kellemen, PH.D and Susan M. Ellis is the place to begin. Thoroughly researched and presented with admiration, you'll find great inspiration here.

As a Bible Study leader, I was amazed at the large list of influential, but often unnoticed, women of great faith.As a woman, I identified with many of the struggles these women faced both as a result of the culture of their day and their own inner conflict.

Reading of these women's statements from their diaries, journals and other writings as well as statements made about them by their contemporaries, I was challenged and made aware of these `great cloud of witnesses.'

These are the daughters, mothers, wives, and friends of some of those whose names you certainly would remember. Names such as Spurgeon, Edwards, and Wesley - all great men of faith. But the reader also discovers many women whose names and stories you might not encounter unless discovered in reference to another. In this book, these unnoticed women of history are profiled with a focus on the spiritual direction their lives revealed.

It is sage advice that a woman was created to inspire and influence others. As you read the stories of these women, you will find this is the common thread among them. They inspired, comforted and encouraged. They also suffered, remained steadfast, and revealed admirable personality traits as they each pursued their walk with God.

Profiles include Vibia Perpetua, Susannah Wesley, Terea of Avila, and Betsie Ten Boom. Quite a large list follows, too many to list here. This is a reference book for any women's ministry leader. I recommend this book highly and have donated my reference copy to my church library.

Keiki Hendrix
Vessel Project Book Reviewer

In recent days, the press has been giving some attention to the New Reformed movement sweeping through evangelicalism, particularly among young evangelicals. The majority of those affected by the resurgence of Reformed theology appear to be young, white men. Little research has been done regarding the women involved in this movement.

Likewise, studies in church history rarely describe the women who played key roles in the history of Christianity. Those that do tend to see ancient Christian women through the eyes of contemporary feminism.

Sacred Friendships - Celebrating the Legacy of Women Heroes of the Faith (BMH, 2009) avoids both the pitfalls of revisionist history and historical neglect. Robert Kellemen and Susan Ellis tell the stories of a number of influential women throughout church history. The authors describe the specific ministries and roles of these women and from their examples glean insights for contemporary women.

Sacred Friendships is mainly for women readers. But men, particularly church leaders who want to see women empowered for service in the church, can learn from this book. Kellemen and Ellis point out the ways in which Christian women in the past have ministered in areas of counseling, soul care, and spiritual guidance.

To breathe in Sacred Friendships is to inhale the power and inspiration of a gender too often overlooked and to exhale a motivation to live for Christ like you may never have before. Kelleman and Ellis describe the purpose for writing this rock solid narrative as, "to uncover the buried treasure of wisdom about soul care and spiritual direction as practiced by women throughout the history of Christianity."

This book does so much more... As you pass through these pages you'll find yourself diving headlong into the lives and sacrifices of the early female martyrs and women who chose to separate themselves from the world so that they could deeply affect the world. Your own journey will become understandable and your heart's desire will to be to live as they lived, completely giving themselves to the causes of Christ. You'll be delivered into a land where church polity is pushed aside for Christ-centeredness, where self-indulgence is forced into dark places to make room for the light of self-sacrifice, and where women of extraordinary faith are revealed so that your own faith can be evaluated and theirs emulated.

You'll be exposed to the power of Christ as seen through the lives of Susannah Spurgeon, Phoebe Worrall, Elizabeth White, Sojourner Truth, Susannah Wesley, Vibia Perpetua, Felicitas, Macrina the Elder, Nonna, the mother of Gregory, Anthusa, the mother of John Chrysostom, Monica, the mother of Augustine, Gorgonia, Macrina, Olympias, Theodora, Syncletica, Marcella, and Paula. And all of these in the first four chapters.

The authors make us aware that, "Throughout Sacred Friendships you will find this theme saturated everywhere. Godly women of old integrated into their Christlike character both humble care and bold courage. They saw no distinction between the two; they experienced no contradiction between tender soul care and tenacious spiritual direction."

God, through the writer of Hebrews penned these astounding words, Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. (Hebrews 12:1) You will find these women to be heroes of the highest order, women not with a longing to start a feminist movement, rather individuals involving themselves in the movement of Christ at all costs.

The noble task of giving back a voice is the heart and soul of Dr. Bob Kellemen and Susan Ellis' new book Sacred Friendships. Their work has over 50 stories of historical women of the faith, who practiced the art of counseling both the suffering and the sinning in ways that are still echoing through the annals of time. Sacred Friendships does more than simply teach on the role of women in historical counseling, it also helps us train our ears to hear the beautiful narratives of brave souls and learn from their ministries of grace and truth.

God designed both men and women in His image and likeness. Within their core gender distinctives, He has placed a picture of who He is and what He is about. We call this the imago dei. Too often, the church has relied on only the male personalities and perspectives to express the Divine Personhood. The imago dei has been shackled and chained to only show the masculine image, while excluding the feminine proclamation of the nature and character of God in the process.

Through the exposition of these women heroes of the faith, Kellemen and Ellis have shown how the image of God is displayed in the unique and distinctive ways that only the feminine ministry of soul care and spiritual direction can show. They have started bridging the gap of history and reality by including a whole other section of our "great cloud of witnesses," and have given them a voice.

These women have stood upon the stage of history for centuries with a message and a model. They have watched from the gates of heaven for generation after generation in eager anticipation, ready to proclaim again the beauty of God through the retelling of their stories. And now, we are here to look upon their platform and learn from their ministry.

What Kellemen and Ellis have done is to simply turn the lights on, to shine the spotlight on these women heroes, and most importantly...to switch on the megaphone for these women to shout to our modern era the glory of God through their testimonies and ministry to the hurting, the sinning, and the helpless.

They have been given their voice back.

Will you listen to their stories?