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In Sacred Loneliness: The Plural Wives of Joseph Smith

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It is hard to find a book about early Mormonism that does not focus almost exclusively on Joseph Smith. As founder of the Mormon religion, this may not seem surprising, but it's refreshing just the same to read Todd Compton's book with its almost exclusive focus on Joseph's wives, and comparatively little focus on the Mormon prophet.

Compton's book consists of 30 chapters; each written as a biography of the various women Joseph Smith married, with the conspicuous absence of Emma Smith. This highlights and emphasizes the fact that, though Joseph had many wives, they were all rejected by Emma who vigorously opposed polygamy and the intrusions it brought into her home.

Studying Mormon history has become a mixed blessing. On one hand, historical scholarship of the subject has advanced greatly since Bodie's landmark "No man knows my History." On the other hand, excommunication of prominent historians (such as Quinn and Brodie) by the Mormon Church has resulted in much fear and distrust. For most Mormons, Todd Compton's book probably falls outside the designation of "faith promoting," and may be uncomfortable for many active members of the church.

Growing up in the Mormon Church, I learned several myths about early Mormon polygamy such as: 1. A man's wife had to approve the marriage to plural wives. 2. Most plural wives were older women whose husbands had died, and for whom polygamy represented safe heaven from a brutal world. 3. Most of Joseph's plural wives were sealed to him, but had no sexual relationship with him. 4. Joseph's plural wives never became pregnant from him. 5. There was never any admission or even mention of polyandry.

Through the biographies he has constructed, Compton exposes each of these myths. Chapter 1 discusses Fanny Alger, who married Joseph when she was only sixteen and he was twenty-seven. Emma didn't know about the marriage, and when she learned of it (by seeing Fanny and Joseph together, by one account, and noticing Fanny's pregnancy by another account - see pages 34-35) drove Fanny from their house. Oliver Cowdery (one of the Book-of-Mormon witnesses) described Joseph's relationship with Fanny as a sexual affair, and accused Joseph of adultery - resulting in Oliver's excommunication in 1838 (see pages 38-39).

Compton spends considerable effort reconciling Cowdery's description of Fanny Alger as an affair, and others who clearly describe a marriage relationship (though without the approval or knowledge of Emma). As I read the book I kept expecting Compton to draw the obvious conclusion, that Joseph had an affair with Fanny and then invented polygamy (which he may have been contemplating anyway) to save his presidency and justify his actions. Compton, however, never draws this conclusion, and ends still contemplating the two possible scenarios as mutually exclusive.

I found particular interest in this book because one of Joseph Smith's plural wives, Melissa Lott, was my great, great, great grandmother (see chapter 28). Like many of his other plural wives, Melissa was young (only 19) when she married Joseph Smith. Growing up Mormon, my parents taught me that Melissa had been a "spiritual" wife of Joseph Smith, having been sealed to Joseph only after his death (a common occurrence). During an interview with Joseph Smith's son, and President of the Reorganized Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, however, Melissa stated that she had been a wife indeed, with full benefit of a sexual relationship with the prophet. Melissa married Joseph less than a year before he was murdered and later married my great, great, great grandfather. Both lived hard lives, and her second husband died (along with their young son) when the wagon he was driving turned over with its load of firewood and drowned them in a creek. It was a touching chapter for me, the more so because Melissa is my ancestor, and illustrates the central theme of all Joseph's plural wives: sacred loneliness and lives of hard work and toil.

Passionately written through the eyes of those who knew him, loved him, followed him, and counted on him for salvation, Compton's book is a must for anyone interested in Mormon history and the personal lives that launched this twentieth-century American religion. Meticulously researched and well written, I highly recommend it.

Duwayne Anderson

I am an active Latter Day Saint, and I ordered this book because despite being LDS, I had no understanding of polygamy, especially as it related to Joseph Smith. I was never taught that Joseph had other wives, and I cannot recall it ever being mentioned in church despite my life-long activity in the church. We are not encouraged to look into this issue, and in many ways we are dissuaded from looking. I purchased the book because of reviews saying it was an unbiased factual analysis of Joseph Smith's plural wives, and their lives. It was definately worth the money, and I got more than I paid for. It is objective and factual. The author goes to lengths to scruitinize sources, and uses multiple sources for information. The book is not for the weak of faith because it explains the problems that the women had because of polygamy (Emma's hostility to the doctrine, Joseph's denial that it was being practiced after a number of early marriages, and the alienation of women who shared a husband with a number of wives), but truth is truth and should be pursued. The information in the book is detailed, documented, from contemorary journals, and most sources are friendly to the church. The focus of the book is on the women themselves. It not only documents what information there is about their marriage to Joseph Smith, but also documents the rest of their lives including subsequent spouses. Much of the information comes from the women themselves as given in their journals or autobiographies. It is clear the book is meant as a survey of the lives of these women and not an effort to disparage Joseph Smith, although it will be seen as somewhat troubling to some because polygamy often offends our modern notions of morality. Many would rather push such historical facts out of their mind rather than study it and have a new perspective on church history, and an explanation of why polygamy was so important to Brigham Young and other prophets. I actually found it to be very uplifting. There was so much for these women to overcome. Joseph died, and they were left without a husband facing the prospect of crossing the plains. Many remarried into other polygamous and monogomous relationships. Many lost children crossing the plains. Their lives are both tragic and encouraging because of the great trials they faced and overcame. Three of his wives became presidents of the church Relief Society program: Emma Smith, Eliza Snow, and Zina Huntington.
The only problem I have with the book is the difficult endnote system. With something this grand, footnotes on the same page would have been better. That being said, the book is wonderful if you want a biography of the wives of Joseph Smith, including the courtship, relationship, what they did after Joseph Smith died, and the wives views on the marriage years later. I highly recommend the book.

On the first level, this book is about the women who married Joseph Smith. Beyond that, though, this is a book about the early psychology of the Mormon Church, and the power of the prophetic and apostolic paradigm that the Mormon people lived under during those early, charismatic years.

At first blush, the reader is amazed at the number of women Joseph Smith married. Traditional Mormon mythology teaches that J.S., Brigham Young, Heber Kimball, et al, mostly married elderly women and widows who needed to be taken care of in "the kingdom," or that most were sealed to them posthumously. Many Mormans will be surprised to find out that Joseph was polygamous at all, since Emma is the only wife we ever hear about in "authorized" church history. But to learn of the nature of those relationships, including the fact that most were wives in consumated relationships with the prophet while many had "first husbands" is truly a myth buster.

These women, however, were not just starry-eyed groupies of the charismatic prophet. These were remarkable women of great charisma, leadership and personal power that they possessed of their own, not merely borrowed from their husbands. Their lives are tributes to the spirit of early Mormon faith and endurance.

The second layer of this book is a psycho-social study of the early mormon community, particularly from the perspective of the female leadership. These were women who participated in priesthood administrations, healings, speaking in tongues, visions and the administration of temple ordinances. These were women who found a way to create a sisterhood of wives when their husbands were so largely removed from the day-to-day affairs of their enormous families. These were often self-sustaining frontierswomen who played a courageous and unsung role in settling the Great Basin region of the intermountain west.

Lastly, I believe this book provides the necessary insight to understand why polygamy failed: it was too psychologically and physically taxing on its participants. Todd Compton does not make any judgement along these lines...the reader is free to come to this conclusion on their own. But to read of the sadness, the loneliness, and the heartache, such a conclusion is inevitable.

Compton does the world of history a great favor by bringing together this collection of stories and insights about the leading ladies of early Mormondom. It is an essential counter-balance to the traditional patriarchal authorized history, and is often the history that later Church leaders must have deemed "unwelcome" or at least "unimportant," because you won't find this history in "church approved" manuscripts. It will, however, assist the seeker in determining for themselves the spirit, and culture, out of which sprung the church we know today.

To say the least, this was a very informative book! I had long suspected that there was more to Joseph Smith's plural wives, and I am grateful to have a book which has provided me with SOME ANSWERS about a topic which is so ignored in the Church. This book is not for the weak in faith; it presents information which can be very disconcerting (which I have, personally, corroborated from other sources). In sharing some of the information with my wife, she seriously questioned whether Joseph Smith was a "fallen Prophet." (Joseph married other men's wives; and, understandably, my wife finds that very disturbing). In sharing some of the information from the book with my brother (who, as I, has been faithful and active members of the Church for over 25 years), my brother responded: "Power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely." Needless to say, I have some very serious concerns about the secreative aspects of a "Man of God." I, however, am reserving judgement - as I have not, as yet, finished the book; also, I tend to give Joseph and Brigham the benefit of the doubt (There must be some explanation with which I am unfamiliar.). I must say, at times - as a result of reading the book, I regard polygamy, as practiced by Joseph and Brigham (who, later, married some of Joseph's wives, and who married the wife of a member who was away on a mission), as very repulsive - even though I have been a personal supporter of polygamy (based upon the limited "teachings" I have received in the Church). The unusual method of footnoting used by the author is very confusing (which causes me some apprehension as to the authors credibility -- which, as mentioned above, has led me to independently corroborate what I can). As mentioned by others who have reviewed the book, there is no apparent effort by the author to degrade Joseph Smith and/or the Church; he, simply, presents his information for your personal and independent consideration - which I have found very admirable; there is no "anti-mormon" sentiment (frankly, I can't tell if the author is a member, a non-member, or an ex-communicated member; and, really, it doesn't matter - the truth of the material stands on its own). Well, I highly recommend the book to a person seeking the truth and answers about the beginnings of polygamy in the time of Joseph Smith; I have given the book a 4-star rating (rather than a 5-star rating) only because of the very cumbersome footnoting. Finally - Thank You Todd Compton (the author) for your efforts in bringing this valuable information into the reach of those of us seeking the truth - which is, so often, hidden and kept from us by those who might find the material "politically incorrect."

Todd Compton has done a truly impressive job in documenting the plural wives of Joseph Smith, and the personal trials, hardships, and religious rewards of polygamy. His focus on the wives, rather than on Joseph Smith, enables the reader to empathize more fully with the sacrifice these women made in the name of their religious convictions. Compton also does an excellent job explaining why women who were products of a victorian society, would embrace such a radically different and scorned way of life, which, pratically speaking, brought them very little rewards in this life. There is information which may shock current Latter-day Saints, due to the fact that the modern LDS church has attempted to distance itself from this early practice, but it is information which is essential to know to understand the origins of the church's theology. Over and over I was impressed by how well Compton seemed to reach into the very heart of the experiences of these devout women who did! , indeed, live in sacred loneliness.

Compton focuses on the devotion and inner lives of women involved directly with the development of polygamous marriage within Mormon theology.

I found the stories of these women absolutely amazing. Regardless of where you stand in relation to the theology, their individual biographies reveal interesting, sincere women.

Given the potential controversy of this book, the author is always careful to explain the available data. In areas of conflicting reports, he presents all available data, and leaves judgment to the reader.

If you are interested in early Mormon polygamy, and the philosophy/theology behind it, this book is the mother lode.

I am sure many people will comment on this book for religious reasons, originally Mormon social history was the reason that I read In Sacred Loneliness, and religion seems to breed ridiculous arguments where no grounds for arguments really exist. I found the book particularly even - at different times in the book I thought he was shamelessly praising the church and other times too harsh, soon though the sway of the characters took over, and the emotional involvement with the lives of such powerful, pitiful and human women really pulls you in.

Regardless of what you think about polygamy, this book gives you an appriciation for the dedication of the integrity of some of these people to follow it, and for some a deep respect for those who chose to leave it. I really had a hard time with this book as some of these character really are heroic, like Patty Sessions, and Zina Huntington. I think that Compton leaves the reader to decide about polygamy, or Mormonism - right or wrong the story of the women involved is needed, useful and inspirational.

For those who want to argue about religion there is alot here to mull over, but I really think that you miss the point.

First of all, I found out about Joseph Smith's polyandry in this book. The discovery was devastating to my "testimony" in the dogmatic claims of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Or rather, it was devastating to any continued efforts on my part to believe in those claims. I don't see how anyone reading this book could come away with the same perspective on Joseph Smith that they had before. Compton is so spare in his prose, yet so complete in his details and research. His copious notes and sources make disbelief impossible to anyone honestly reading to become informed. Cognitive dissonance can only sustain so much!

This is NOT an anti-Mormon book. Comption was for years a BYU professor, and co-editor for the FARMS Hugh Nibley collected writings project. He remains still (the last I heard) a member of the LDS church in good standing. In any case, he wrote this book with a clear, honest intent to pursue the full truth: and not just produce another "faith-promoting" version of Joseph Smith and early church history. This is important to distinguish: anti-Mormon books typically are written by either apostates or non-member writers already antagonistic toward the LDS church. Compton, et al. the other writers of this genre, of full church history, are seekers after truth, and their pursuit leads them where the truth will. So it is with this reader. I do not give anti-Mormon books any attention. Why try and learn church history from people never inside the church, or people who hate it and leave, then write "all about it?" That makes no sense to me. But writers of Compton's capability and purpose have my fullest attention. And when they produce a book like "In Sacred Loneliness", they have all my respect as well.

I especially enjoyed the way Compton laid out his book, devoting an entire holistic chapter to each wife; or pair of wives in the cases where Joseph Smith married sisters.

A masterpiece, great job dude!

Reading this book evoked so many different feelings and reactions for me. It was a mix of laughter, wonder, beauty, respect, hatred and sadness. Getting to know these women, altogether 33, makes me see how differently I perceive my live, its purpose and meaning in the modern society, far away from wagons, child death, persecutions and complicated relationships. The author has a neutral historic perspective on the issue itself - polygamy - there is no tendency in the book to value or weigh the destinies of the women or their relationship with Joseph Smith, the first prophet and president of the LDS church. Joseph is the common factor for these 33 interesting women, who had lives full of both adventure and harshness, of love and of despair.

There is not much said in the book about the history of polygamy. The reader gets acquainted with it thru the story of the women. Each chapter begins with a special moment of the women's life. Thereafter Comptons, the author, gives a short description and then start to tell their lives, from craddle, their marriages, their acquaintance with Joseph, when being married/sealed to Joseph, when Joseph is martyred and then the the great move West begins and ends in Salt Lake City. Some of the women do not end up there but the majority do, because they have entered new polygamic relationships with Joseph's close friends.

Compton has collected and gone thru immense quantity of sources. He is able to give a thorough life story in 10 up to 30 pages about every women. He has done his outmost to trace the women from birth (knowing the job title of their parents, the birth dates of their siblings) to their death (be it in California, Utah and even tracing the lives of their offspring!).

I want to really give you, Mr Comtpon, my appreciation and gratitude in capturing the diverse aspects of the women, giving me a sense of their feelings, when sad, when happy, and also for making them speak out. History is written by men and for men, and these women are either in the index of Jospeh's biographies or "an irritation" in Emma's life, but these were women who first of all, were believers in the LDS faith, they were puritans and all of them had a process of handling the polygamy, secretly proposed by and lived during Joseph's life time or when living it openly in the more hostile era of the 1860s to 1890s.

It is difficult for me to give a picture of their lives, because you have to read about every one of them, jumping from one chapter to another won't help, because every life story is so different from the other and touching in the way it is written. Every women experiences child death, death of the close and dear, the harshness of frontier life, to break up with cosy homes in urban or rural areas in order to start a new life in mud! I like the way Compton writes his epilogues, which are so comforting. It is easy to feel sad about the women, in many cases the women were "introduced" in polygamy thru parents, brothers, or thru other older women, and Joseph has a tactic that in some ways didn't really - it is my belief - give the women a chance to say no. It is the influence of religion, devotion to the leader and sorry for saying it, with a secteristic touch over it. I am not LDS and I am not saying that LDS church of today is secteristic, but I doubt the fact that some of the women, had any choice but to say yes. The youngest was 14 years, when Joseph was in his mid-thirties, today, this "marriage" wouldn't be that acceptable.

The book is informative, you don't need to be an expert in LDS history, Compton gives general historical details about the early LDS history while writing about the women and how they understood their present, so that the lives of the women can be understood in the right context. They lived in a apocalyptic era, the persecution and the move West made them see themselves as the Israelites fleeing Pharaoh.

Do remember that writing about polygamy (normally one always comes to think about harems) is not easy. It took time for the LDS church to find a routine for polygamy because these 33 women came in contact with polygamy in a time when it was not an open teaching of the church. Some of them had husbands, while marrying Joseph. I think the way Compton uses the word "married" is sound, because it was not a liason or one night-stand, these women believed that god sanctioned their marriage to Joseph, for these women the marriage meant that they would be goddesses in the afterlife with Joseph. But still, I wonder: was it really a teaching complicating your life for? I bet that the LDS church of today would be the first church to oppose a pro-polygamy law!

However, whatever the reason, read the book because we need to see the human side and the human consequences of spiritual doctrines, be it refusing blood transfusion or living in polygamy. The book shows how religion and religious devotion can make people leaving behind cute Victorian homes for a frontier life and also to have to break up with the monogamous tradition of those days (still hard today I might say). These women lived it, the majority regarded it as an honour to have been married to Joseph and I respect them for that, WE should respect them for that.

My thoughts go especially to Louisa Beaman, the Patridge sisters and Helen Mar Whitney.

Joseph Smith experimented with plural marriage in the 1830's in Ohio and Missouri. In 1841 he cautiously added 3 wives. But in 1842 he married 11 wives in the first 8 months of the year. New marriages then ceased for 5 months, a significant gap - possibly due to John C. Bennett's expose of the practise. However in the first half of 1843 - he married 14 more wives in the first 6 months. After July, his marriages stop abruptly. He took NO wives at all the last 8 months of his life, possibly due to doubts whether it was the right thing - as testified by William Marks (Nauvoo Stake President), or because Emma threatened to leave him if he continued. Furthermore, some of the marriages were polyandrous, which incurred the danger of jealous husbands.

This book contains chapters representing a mini biography on each of the women married to Joseph Smith (before his death). Each story, while different in ways from the others, generally follow a similar pattern: Joseph Smith approached the candidate, usually in the company of a close family member, and then commands the potential candidate to marry him (or else he or they will be struck down and/or damned to Hell if the proposal was refused). After the initial shock and feelings of depression/anger/despair pass (as these women are extremely puritanical via their upbringing, causing internal conflict with their duty to follow their Lord's prophet) the "marriage" takes place, and their relationship (with all that it implies) is kept secret from the general population - more especially from Joseph's first (and only publically known) wife Emma. Then, after Joseph Smith dies, Brigham Young and Heber C. Kimball approach Joseph Smith's "widows" and marry the majority of them for time only. These women have many offspring to their new husband, all of which are considered belonging to Joseph Smith in the eternities. The lives of these women from this point are endured with hardships, poverty & loneliness, as in most cases their husband had 40+ odd other wives to spend his time with, when not engaged in building up the kingdom of God via church callings: "Polygamous wives often experienced what was essentially acute neglect. Despite the husband's sincere efforts, he could only give a specific wife a fraction of his time and means. By an almost cruel irony, the greater the number of women married, the greater the man s exaltation, according to nineteenth-century Mormon theology. Not surprisingly, therefore, polygamous wives, even those married to prominent, well-to-do men, were often not supported adequately financially."

Some women compensated their lack of support and companionship from the polygamous husband, by developing especially close ties with sister-wives, siblings, and children. One wrote: "I have worshipped my children all my life, as I have had no husband to love so all my love has been for them."

Often plural wives who experienced loneliness also reported feelings of depression, despair, anxiety, helplessness, abandonment, anger, psychosomatic symptoms, and low self-esteem. Certainly polygamous marriage was accepted by nineteenth-century Mormons as thoroughly sacred--it almost defined what was most holy to them--but its practical result, for the woman, was solitude" - thus the title of this book.

While each of the women in this book are documented because of their marriage to Joseph Smith, for most of them, this event is but a few paragraphs of each chapter/biography, following a page or so of life before the marriage. The remainder of the chapter (and bulk of what is presented) is their lives post-Joseph Smith/Nauvoo. For most, this involves life travelling to Winter Quarters through to Utah and their lives as Utah polygamists. The chapters are somewhat repetitive, however each story has it's own merit, and there are pearls of information buried in each one.

Some quotes from the pages:

p.248: "...it very often occurs that an elderly lady attends a party with friends, and meets her husband there with one or more younger wives, and sometimes both she [the wife of his youth, the mother of many of his children] and they [his wives from previous years] have to watch their mutual husband there with one or more younger wives"..."Sometimes these old and middle aged ladies do not see their husbands once a year, and yet they may not live half a mile apart."

p.362: "Sarah [Ann Whitney]'s marriage to Joseph Smith [at the age of 17] must have been difficult for her: like Helen Mar [Kimball who, when propositioned at the age of 14 initially opposed the principal], [both] probably sacrificed whatever youthful romantic dream [they] had to assure [their] family's salvation, marrying Smith out of religious conviction and loyalty to [their] parents' advice."

In conclusion (taken from p.456): "Looking at polygamy from our late twentieth-century monogamous and feminist perspectives, one wonders why Latter-day Saint leaders did not see more clearly the problematic nature of such relationships and retreat from them. In fact, the opposite happened. The church presidents who succeeded Joseph Smith followed his polygamous revelations and imperatives with unquestioning single mindedness. They gave it up only after the Joseph F. Smith Manifesto in 1904, after years of private agony, long after the more well-known Woodruff Manifesto in 1890. In a desperate, impractical venture, many members of the First Presidency and Quorum of the Twelve continued to authorize and contract new plural marriages secretly until they were once again forced to give up even their sub rosa, post-Manifesto plurality. To nineteenth-century leaders, the principle was not just an optional revelation - they viewed it as the most important revelation in Joseph Smith's life, which is what he undoubtedly taught them. If they accepted him as an infallible prophet, and if they wanted full exaltation, they had no recourse but to marry many plural wives. Their devotion to Joseph Smith the seer outweighed their experience of polygamy's impracticality and tragic consequences for women, which many men probably did not even recognize."

After finally finishing the book, the reader is left with an insight into the downside of the institution of sanctioned (and/or secret) polygamous marriages in the 19th century. Regardless of whether the practice was divinely inspired, or otherwise, its impact on the lives of those involved was monumental.


A side note: One thing that struck me as I read these many first-hand accounts of life in the early church, something that is rarely if ever mentioned in the many other historical accounts I've read to date, is the repeated journal entries that describe the women performing healing administrations (blessings) on each other with complete knowledge and approval of the church leadership (1st presidency). Today, such blessings are only recognised if performed under Priesthood authority, held only by worthy male members. Further research reveals female members of the church performed healings right through to the 20th century, until the Church made it no longer a requirement for the hands to be placed onto the area that needed healing, but the recipient's head instead. As a result, male priesthood holders could administer to women without worrying about indecency and so eventually (9 years after the change in process) women were no longer sanctioned to perform healings. I would not hesitate to suggest that MOST LDS members would be unaware of this and I'd be surprised if the Church today recognizes that this even took place.