Customer Reviews

Sacred Singleness: The Set-Apart Girl's Guide to Purpose and Fulfillment

5 star:		(9)
4 star:		(1)
3 star:		(2)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(2)

 

 

I'd like to start off by saying that I think Leslie Ludy seems like an AMAZING woman and means well. But, I felt strongly inclined to write this review... After being positively impacted by, "When God Writes Your Love Story" (Leslie is an amazing writer), I wanted to grow deeper and picked up "Purposeful Singleness". Sadly, I was left HIGHLY disappointed, and even angry. I was angry because I felt other single women will read this book and feel crappy afterwards and I don't want them to feel that way : ( Women who choose to purchase this book are probably struggling with loneliness and seeking guidance on how to live their life to the FULLEST with peace and joy and fulfillment in Jesus Christ. Well, you will not receive guidance in that area. Instead, you will feel guilty for even HAVING thoughts of meeting the man that God brings into your life. You're told the times you feel scared and discouraged and angry (whoa don't you dare feel angry) means that you are living in sin. If you are a sad, lonely, scared, single woman reading this, yes, give EVERYTHING to God (as the book states). And when you have moments of discouragement, talk to God about it! Tell Him how you feel. He can take it! And don't feel BAD about it when you have those moments (as the book states!)! I just don't think someone who was married at the tender age of 18 (Leslie) can TRULY understand how it feels to fall asleep at night by yourself. I'm 31 years old and I've definitely reached the stage in my life where I am SO in love with God, I know I would still be fulfilled in life and feel his deep love for me every day and continually seek his will even if that doesn't include getting married (I'm even teary-eyed right now and feel his love as I write this). But after reading this book, I actually fell APART for about a week. Sadness. I'm now back on track again (yay!), but just wanted to warn anyone who is thinking about purchasing this book. I think her and her husband should possibly write books about marriage instead (because they do sound madly in love which I think is soooo wonderful).

There were just so many parts of this book that made me roll my eyes (I'm sorry!). Again, I know that Leslie means well, but she missed the mark big time. If you TRULY want to feel loved and SAFE and wonderful and you're seeking God's will for your life, read, "Captivating " by John and Stasi Eldredge. It will change your life and you will be so inspired! You will fall madly in love with God in ways that you didn't even think were possible. You'll fall asleep at night with a huge smile on your face just excited for what God has in store for you (even if earlier in the day you were upset with God because you're 31 and still alone and super confused...). Hehe. Love you guys and God bless...

I loved this book. Over the years, marriage was something I was holding on to, even more than God. Almost like I was determind to get married if it was God's will or not for my life. But this book really changed the way I viewed things. I've always known how I should take my single years as a gift, to use it for God's purpose until He would send the right man into my life. But the question that always popped into my head was, "What if that never happens?" The book simply points out, "Will you still love God even if its never His will for you to marry?" Its a very hard question, for me. But I understand that I should never hold anything above God, including marriage. I fully gave up my dream once and for all to God about being a wife someday. And to be honest, I have never felt even happier. Cause the thing is, if I get married one day, that will be great. But if in this life I never do, thats alright as well. Cause God has His best in mind for me, which ever that may be. And I must trust Him by not focusing on what other people have, or what I wish I had, but to focus on God's will and how He will choose to use me this very day. its about taking your singleness one day at a time. Not dwelling on the future. It has greatly inspired me to see my singleness from a different angle, and its ok to not be in a relationship. Its not the end of the world to be single.
My life on the earth is not for myself. its not about what I can do, and what I can accomplish, and get. This book will show you how to have your focus on eternal things, and making those things your top priority. I love how Leslie gets exactly what I feel and knows just what to say. I have never been disappointet.

While this book has many excellent points about trusting God and making Him the focal point of your life (two much needed messages in today's complicated and competitive world)- I'm still not fully convinced that singlehood is a biblical "gift". I believe that singlehood is just another phase of a person's life- nothing more, nothing less.It's not any more holy or fulfilling than being married. Another one of her books went on to say that "loneliness is a gift from God." Huh? Suffering does help us grow, but in and of itself it's not a "gift" just a difficult time- learn from it and move on. Stop "gifting" everything! This particular book left me wondering: if singlehood is so great, why get married? Why ruin a good thing? Why doesn't she talk about the blessings of marriage and the ways marriage can bless people that singlehood can't? Instead she just rants about how great singlehood is and that anyone who wants marriage is commiting idolatry. Another point is, if protracted singlehood is truly a mechanism for happiness and fulfillment- why do books like this even sell? Think about it. If you're truly satisfied in your singleness, why do you need to buy a book about how to be fulfilled in your singleness? And also, why are you still in America? You're supposed to be saving the little children in Africa not wasting your time buying expensive stuff on amazon. In addition, I'm a convert from Islam, and as a Muslim I enjoyed a strong fellowship with people who honored and respected my desire for a spouse. In Islam, there is NO room for celibacy. You have to get married in Islam- no exceptions (besides early death, of course). Singlehood in Islam is just a phase in life not a special "gift" from God. My mom went so far as to say "once you get accepted to a graduate school program, we're going to get a matchmaker and try to find you a good spouse".I once told a Muslim friend of mine that I wanted to get engaged and she said "cool", not "Make Allah your husband!" or "Fall in love with Muhammad!" or "Allah won't bless you with a spouse until you're completely content in Muhammad." That sounds almost as ridiculous as saying "only until you're completely content in the flying spagetti monster, will you have accumulated enough points to earn yourself a husband" or "If you want a husband, go to Africa (as if Africa doesn't have enough missionaries),sleep in a mud hut, convert a couple of poor people to Christianity, and then, depending on what God ate for breakfast that morning, He'll decide whether or not you're worthy of a spouse." Hello? Most missionaries are NOT single or childless. You can be a missionary or run soup kitchens once a month with a family (sometimes it's even BETTER to have a spouse and kids with you to help out with the work).Ms. Ludy is almost advocating a reward/punishment system in which the more lukewarm you are about marriage- the greater your odds are for "winnning" a spouse. If you all of a sudden desire a spouse one day- then oops, you're back to square one. Game over. Sorry,please play again. Imagine if after God created Eve for Adam, Adam said "oh, nice, but I need to focus on my relationship with Jesus right now." No, Adam was breathtaken when he saw Eve! He was amazed and excited and delighted- that's how God wants us to feel about marriage- not "I don't really want it. I'm focusing on college, career, spiritual growth." Why is "focusing on x,y,z" (which often include monetary ambitions...um...something about a needle and camel comes to mind) a virtue and seriously pursuing a Godly marriage "idolatry"? I know most of what I'm saying is a bit of an exaggeration mostly for comedic effect- but I think I am making a valid point. And if you disagree, that is fine. Call me once you find a nonsinful way to have sex without a spouse. Keep reading books about how to be happy single. And as for me, I'm happily taken and loving God at the same time.

I've only read a little bit of this book, and then I had to put it down and step away. I am slowly continuing to work my way through it--so take my review with a grain of salt! I appreciate Ludy's message and vision wholeheartedly--I long to be a woman who is only after Jesus and is in complete surrender to him! However, as a young adult who believes I will be married eventually, it's a constant tug-of-war with this book. Don't get me wrong...I support the Ludy's ministry and 100% agree with their desire to see every young woman in surrender to Jesus rather than bowing down to our church culture's expectation of young, carefree, pretty marriages. Yet when you read this book, understand that you can do this and STILL desire to be married!

Basically, be careful when you read this book. There is a slight undertone telling women that it is wrong to want to get married eventually--if you do not realize that Ludy is saying you can be in surrender to Jesus and STILL want a husband, this book may throw you for a loop ("Will I EVER get married? Will I be single forever??!!!). Partly because she gives many examples of woman who were single all their lives and lived dramatic, powerful lives for Christ, it sort of seems like Ludy is trying to prepare every reader for that identical destiny of singleness.

I LOVE the Ludy's message and listen to their podcasts often--I am going to continue reading this book, and maybe I'll have a more positive review when I am finished! In the meantime, I suggest this book--but also look to other perspectives.

Be blessed!

I absolutely loved Leslie Ludy's "Sacred Singleness." I have always assumed I would be married, and have definitely done myself no favours by attempting to help the process along. After some terrible decisions in my life made me realize that a break from dating would probably be a good thing, I found myself hindered by both my own desires and Bible interpretations, and the 'encouragement' of my Christian peers and mentors. Messages coming from friends, older people, a variety of Christian media sources as well as my own pastor told me that it was unlikely I was called to singleness, and that I should be doing more and more to make myself "marriageable." I found myself quite depressed, and definitely NOT serving God to the full due to my singleness.

Ludy offered an incredibly encouraging, but HONEST message - no platitudes of "if you want marriage, it will come to you" or any such thing. She tells us that we may, indeed, be called to singleness - but God won't call us to anything that we can't handle! She reminds us that in all situations in our lives, we are to praise God and follow Him, denying ourselves for His will. If we're not willing to do that with our relationship status, then how serious is our faith? I was refreshed by an outlook that focused on GOD and not on our own happiness or comfort. It was a difficult book to read, in some ways - I do hope to be married some day. But if a book isn't a bit difficult to take, is it really worth reading? If it's just what you want to hear, how is it helping you grow? This book has helped me embrace this time in my life - I am totally free to follow God's plan for my life, without having to consult a third party. At a time when I was faced with some big decisions, and wondering how God could possibly fulfill his 'purpose' for marriage in my life as well as other areas I feel very called to, this book encouraged me that God can and will bring a man into my life at the right time, if marriage IS his purpose for my life, and if He doesn't do so, who am I to disagree?

Some may say that Ludy's short single season leaves her unqualified to write this book, but she clearly has experience in giving her life to Christ, which is so much more important to the book, and she draws on the experiences of many other women to give encouragement and honesty. There are stories of women who never ended up getting married after devoting their entire lives to God. I appreciate Ludy's honesty in sharing these, and her suggestion through these that it can be at least as fulfilling to be single in God's service as married. She also shares stories of women who devoted their lives to Christ who DID get married, even in situations where meeting a guy seemed highly unlikely.

Some people may not appreciate her message - it may be discouraging for some, especially if you're not ready to hear this message, but also, not everyone is encouraged by the same things. But if you really want to give your WHOLE life over to God's will, wherever He may lead, this book is really encouraging for single females, who may be surrounded by people telling them that it can't be God's will for their lives, or having some other reason to doubt God's will and leading.

Once again, Ludy oversells "radiant singleness" to those who, unlike herself, have not been blessed with timely marriage. There has been a wave of new writers tackling the subject of Christian singleness, such as Debbie Maken and Candice Watters, questioning the overstated contentment sermons that have been used to silence surplus single women who overwhelmingly outnumber the male peers in the church today. Ludy devotes considerable critique to those authors, amounting to a restating of her own outmoded positions, ie. that marriage isn't something that women should pursue, that it's a gift to "wait on the Lord" for (even though the scriptures almost always speak of marriage in the pragmatic terms of human effort and volition, Prov.18:22, 1 Cor 7:7-9, 36, 39, 9:5). She again hauls out the old saw that "singleness is a gift" for all who are single, but omits the usual 1 Cor 7:7 to support her argument -- and of course, since modern bibles are no longer interpreting the verse this way, restoring the original Greek which suggests a non-specific gift akin to Paul's sexual self-control (historically known as "celibacy"). With atrocious prooftexts it's no wonder this book lacks the jacket endorsements of those she criticizes, who have the backing of heavyweights such as Al Mohler, Julia Duin and Focus on the Family's [...]. How could she use the word "sacred" in the title of something that is such a transparently prideful defense of her former works?

One of the questions that comes to mind concerning a book such as this: If the author truly believes singlesness to be a higher plain of spirituality ( and a biologicaly natural, God-given interest in the opposite gender to be "idolotry"), why indeed then, is she married herself?
What of all the great pastor's wives, missionary wives, ect - not to mention Biblical personalities such as Ruth, ect, who were marrried? Would their marital state preclude them from being "set apart"? My Bibles doesn't seem to teach so. Rather, Scripture teaches us that God has created and ordained the institution of marriage and of the home.

Let us not be carried away with every wind of doctrine.

This is the kind of book that the Christian world needs right now. I see so many young ladies that put their lives on hold until they can get married. It makes me sad. Then I see some young ladies that inspire me.

I have a cousin in her early 20's, beautiful, bright, energetic and the only cousin in our family that isn't married. So does she pout about it? Throw herself at different guys until she can get one to propose? Goodness, no! She has devoted this stage of her life to the mission field. Something that she won't be able to do when she is married and has kids. She has been to amazing places (Morocco, Thailand, Himalayas, Sudan, etc...) and done amazing things with YWAM. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity for her and she is treating her singleness sacredly and turning it over to God.

I know another young lady who is likewise single and not rushing it. She decided to take her college classes online this year so that she can move across the state over Labor Day to live with some relatives that had triplets 10 weeks ago. She is making their family her ministry and will take care of their 2 year old, help with the triplets and the housework and cooking all while doing her college classes online. She knows there will be a time when she can't just pick up and move and put her own life on hold for other people. But she can now because she is single and loving it.

I asked a single young lady who is a dear friend of mine to read this book and give me her opinion. She said, "It's awesome! It also gave me some great comebacks to all the people that always ask me why I'm not married yet." Leslie writes an amazing book that will strengthen and encourage those that are currently single but don't wish to remain that way. Use the time you have now, treat it sacredly and God will do all in His time.

Sacred Singleness finally has the message I've been looking for! Leslie Ludy was married young, and, according to her other books, she has had a beautiful love story with her husband. Her message, though, I've still found to be strong. In this book, she answers head-on the arguments of both sides who say that Christ in us isn't enough, that we must have some other human to share life with or we aren't enough on Christ's strength alone- her arguments are strong and convicting. I've found the verses she quoted in this book are not taken out of context, and the quotes from real-life single women are so encouraging- Elisabeth Elliot, Amy Carmichael (who "gave her life for the exploited children of India"), Gladys Aylward (poured her- single, God-focused- life into those in war-torn China), Danita Estrella (who, as a single woman, followed God's call to create Danita's Children instead of staying in her comfortable life, waiting to be married), and others who are pouring out their lives, doing what God asks of them instead of planning out their future on their own.

Ms. Ludy admits that marriage really is where God wants many men and women to be living their lives out, but in the meantime- well, Elisabeth Elliot said it best: "[He was asking] 'do you want to be worthy of Me? Do you want to know Jesus Christ as Lord?' What kind of a God is it who asks everything of us? The same God who did not spare His own Son, but gave Him up for us all. He gives all. He asks all." After all, a single woman "can be devoted to the Lord and holy in and body and in spirit." (1 Cor. 7.34) Isn't it worth it to spend this time completely devoted to the Lord who created AND redeemed us?

A few editing errors got my English brain off track, and it could have been condensed, though I was surprised at how thin it already is- only 181 pages. Overall, though, completely worth it. Let these gentle, encouraging words radically point change your life to be everything God has planned for you!

This is one of the best books that I have read on singleness, and this is written for young single women. It was easy, however, for me as a guy to apply the material to my own situation. Who doesn't need to let God occupy first place in their lives? If guys follow this approach by not chasing after women and focus on becoming mature in Christ, they will become the kind of men that godly women are seeking.

This is not a how-to-find-someone type of book. It's the opposite of taking matters into your own hands. You could summarize Leslie Ludy's perspective in a favorite phrase of Oswald Chambers: Let God engineer. In her words, it is "trusting God to script our love story in His own perfect time, without manipulation on our part." In a broader context, "This book is about laying down your life for Jesus Christ; surrendering every hope, dream, desire, and ambition to Him. Exchanging your agenda for His. Awakening to His glorious purpose for this sacred season of your life."

Ludy acknowledges that this self-denying view of singleness is at odds with mainstream culture and even many Christians. She spends the second part of the book using Scripture to demolish "lies" that are floating around Christian circles. She says that "the majority of Christian single young women today are surrounded by messages that encourage them to follow their hearts, take matters into their own hands, and find themselves a husband as quickly as possible." In marked contrast, she believes the best way to find a marriage partner is to stop hunting for one and instead focus your entire life around Jesus Christ and His priorities. She writes, "God has not called us to build our lives around the pursuit of our own selfish desires, but to be poured-out sacrifices for His kingdom."

Ludy wants to help young women live full and satisfied lives now, but she is not discouraging women from holding on to the dream of marriage. As she says, most people are meant to be married. It's a natural, God-given desire. Through her testimony and that of many others in this book, she makes it clear that it's a mistake to let that desire control our lives and put off present opportunities to serve.

This no-nonsense approach is not only refreshing, but it has the potential to be life-changing and world-altering. The last section of the book provides a wealth of information on how singles can get involved and help change the world.

This is very much in the spirit of Elizabeth Elliot's Passion and Purity, a classic on relationships. Ludy alludes to Elliott several times, and this is like a modern-day successor. The singular focus on becoming all that God wants us to be make this one of the best single books available. It's a strong incentive to develop an intimate relationship with Jesus Christ as the best preparation for marriage.

"Prince Song" by the 2nd Chapter of Acts fits so well with the theme of this book. The song exudes the "first love" kind of relationship that Ludy continually advocates. If you are able to find the song, give it a listen, but here are the lyrics:

I got a brand new story though you have heard it a time of two,
About a Prince who kissed a girl right out of the blue.

Hey this story ain't no tale to me now,
For the Prince of Peace has given me life somehow

You know what I mean.

My sleep is over. I've been touched by His fire,
That burns from his eyes and lifts me higher and higher.

I'll be forever with Him right by my side.
He's coming again on a white horse He'll ride.
He'll clothe me and crown me and make me His bride.

You know what I mean.
You know what I mean.

The song describes the true Prince of many a girl's dreams. This is the One that Ludy rightly directs young women to have as the object of their supreme love and devotion.