"Dan Brennan provides a provocative path to rethinking our sexuality and cross-gender friendships. It may be that sex scandals and broken marriages among Christians is the result of a famine in cross-gender friendships. With sensitivity and insight Brennan explores an often uncomfortable topic and what may be the Achilies' heel of Christian relationships. A must read for people seeking to build authentic Christian community." Lilian Calles Barger, author, Eve's Revenge.
| |||||||||||||||
Book Description
Frequently Bought Together
Editorial Reviews
Review
"Dan, you're onto something here. Cross-gender friendships are here and no one's talking about them--certainly not in the evangelical church. You take a volatile subject and handle it provocatively, yet pastorally I think (the writing's good too!). Even if your readers don't agree with all your conclusions, this book needs to be read. Nothing less is at stake than our full liberty, creativity, love and apprenticeship to Jesus Christ in the 21st century. I feel that strongly about it." --Mike Morrell, KedgeForward
Brennan's treatment of the subject matter is robust, "thorough, balanced, well-researched, and thought-provoking. Brennan offers a biblical foundation for his thesis, which I think is most important." --John Fortin, Catholic Philosopher
Brennan's treatment of the subject matter is robust, "thorough, balanced, well-researched, and thought-provoking. Brennan offers a biblical foundation for his thesis, which I think is most important." --John Fortin, Catholic Philosopher
From the Back Cover
"Dan Brennan opens a spiritual treasure chest and peers into an untapped resource that has been largely hidden from our sight: the gift of agape between the sexes. In Sacred Unions, Sacred Passions, he encourages Christians, with tenderness and thorough scholarship, to reach beyond fear of sexuality and engage the cross-gender friendships in in their life that can help ignite their spiritual growth." Rev. Carole Hallundbaek, award-winning author of Saints in Love, theologian, and spiritual director, and was consultant to PBS series Religion & Ethics Weekly.
Product Details
Would you like to update product info or give feedback on images?
|
More About the Author
Discover books, learn about writers, read author blogs, and more.
Customer Reviews
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
7 of 8 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
Dan Brennan's ground-breaking book "Sacred Unions, Sacred Passions" courageously attacks the oldest and most difficult wall dividing the Christian church--the wall between male and female. Brick by brick, he dismantles the notion that intimate, even passionate, friendships between men and women are impossible and dangerous. He builds instead an eloquent case that male/female friendships are healthy, and necessary for becoming whole and complete people.
I found the following points especially inspiring:
--men and women throughout the ages, even Jesus and some of his female disciples, have had pure and life-giving, passionate friendships in which sex was not involved
--our culture has historically placed romance and sexual relationships as the highest and most desirable of relationships, demeaning not just male-female friendships but also same-sex friendships. In reality, intimate friendship is as valuable, and in some ways even more so, and should be held in as high esteem.
--friendships (cross-gender or same-gender) can and should be passionate and intimate, without involving sex. His discussion of David and Jonathan biblical friendship was beautiful and made me determined to show my closest friends (of either gender) how passionately I love them
With courage and candor, Brennan writes of his own marriage and his cross-gender friendships. His words give voice to ideas that many in the Church believe, but haven't expressed, because of the taboos against it.
This book casts a vision of relational freedom that also celebrates personal responsibility, a concern for the well-being of others, and the sacredness of each person we are in relationship with--whether spouse or friends. As a Bible scholar and leader in my own church, I was impressed with the depth of research and the academic and spiritual integrity of Brennan's conclusions.
It's a great book for opening up the conversation of how to bridge the gap between men and women in our churches. It challenged me to go beyond just conversing to find ways to put the concepts into practice in my own relationships.
As I read, I kept thinking, "Yes--this is what following Jesus is supposed to look like. This is what church community can be at its highest and most lovely." It inspired me to be part of making it reality.
I found the following points especially inspiring:
--men and women throughout the ages, even Jesus and some of his female disciples, have had pure and life-giving, passionate friendships in which sex was not involved
--our culture has historically placed romance and sexual relationships as the highest and most desirable of relationships, demeaning not just male-female friendships but also same-sex friendships. In reality, intimate friendship is as valuable, and in some ways even more so, and should be held in as high esteem.
--friendships (cross-gender or same-gender) can and should be passionate and intimate, without involving sex. His discussion of David and Jonathan biblical friendship was beautiful and made me determined to show my closest friends (of either gender) how passionately I love them
With courage and candor, Brennan writes of his own marriage and his cross-gender friendships. His words give voice to ideas that many in the Church believe, but haven't expressed, because of the taboos against it.
This book casts a vision of relational freedom that also celebrates personal responsibility, a concern for the well-being of others, and the sacredness of each person we are in relationship with--whether spouse or friends. As a Bible scholar and leader in my own church, I was impressed with the depth of research and the academic and spiritual integrity of Brennan's conclusions.
It's a great book for opening up the conversation of how to bridge the gap between men and women in our churches. It challenged me to go beyond just conversing to find ways to put the concepts into practice in my own relationships.
As I read, I kept thinking, "Yes--this is what following Jesus is supposed to look like. This is what church community can be at its highest and most lovely." It inspired me to be part of making it reality.
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
I have never written a book review before, but this book provokes one. Let me get the cons out of the way first: 1) it was hard to read for me because the book was structured very differently than the way that I think. The chapter titles do not even help me remember what was in the chapters. 2) He used words in ways that were very different from the way I normally use them, and this became an obstacle: "story", "narrative", "eschatological", "dance", etc. He used "sexual" very differently over and over as well, but this word he re-defined pretty early on, so I could keep up with it. 3) It seemed unnecessarily repetitive. Granted that he is on to a very important, fresh concept, but I am a reader that really values concise.
Pros: 1) I loved the presentation of historical, healthy, cross-gender, transmarital friendships. This added great credibility to his thesis and was shocking in and of itself. 2) The thing that sold me on the book was his argument that by calling each other brothers and sisters in Christ, we imply that we can have the same type of intimacy as our biological siblings. And in biblical times, medieval times, and modern times biological siblings can appropriately have great depth of intimacy, so why has evangelical Christianity contradictorily proscribed that level of intimacy between siblings in Christ? 3) He did voracious research before writing this. He quotes extensively other authors, and often their quotes are stunning. The book is worth the buy just for the collection of quotes. Here are couple: "Jesus is not only the fullness of God in human form but also the one who shows us the fullness of humanity. Yet he never marries." And: "To love is to be more committed to the other than we are to the relationship, to be more concerned about his walk with God than the comfort or benefits of his walk with us."
In summary, I would prefer an outline format or Cliffs notes format (retaining the quotes), but in the absence of those formats, go ahead and buy the book.
Pros: 1) I loved the presentation of historical, healthy, cross-gender, transmarital friendships. This added great credibility to his thesis and was shocking in and of itself. 2) The thing that sold me on the book was his argument that by calling each other brothers and sisters in Christ, we imply that we can have the same type of intimacy as our biological siblings. And in biblical times, medieval times, and modern times biological siblings can appropriately have great depth of intimacy, so why has evangelical Christianity contradictorily proscribed that level of intimacy between siblings in Christ? 3) He did voracious research before writing this. He quotes extensively other authors, and often their quotes are stunning. The book is worth the buy just for the collection of quotes. Here are couple: "Jesus is not only the fullness of God in human form but also the one who shows us the fullness of humanity. Yet he never marries." And: "To love is to be more committed to the other than we are to the relationship, to be more concerned about his walk with God than the comfort or benefits of his walk with us."
In summary, I would prefer an outline format or Cliffs notes format (retaining the quotes), but in the absence of those formats, go ahead and buy the book.
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
I have made the outlandish suggestion that there is more to oneness in male-female relationships and sexuality than just sex or marriage. (p. 145)
What if cross-sex communion with a full range of nongenital passion is realistically possible and accessible in the new creation without violating the marriage bed? (p. 110)
Does the "true nature" of close male-female intimacy inherently lead to sex? (p. 54)
"In so many ways our culture trains us to be unfit for friendship." ---Paul Wadell (p. 33)
"You gave me no kiss, but from the time I came in she has not stopped kissing my feet."--Jesus Christ (p,119)
I don't usually use so many direct quotes from a book. but I believe you need to get the jist of what is covered by Sacred Unions, Sacred Passions by Dan Brennan! Now that's what I'm talking about Willis!"
Yesterday I reviewed what might be called a sex manual; today I review what might be called a sexuality manual...In some ways, the spirituality aspect of these books are the same.
Brennan mentions the study of young children needing touch and intimacy in order to grow. What happened to that philosophy? According to Brennan, through his well-research book, touch and intimacy were Freudized! Specifically, touching and intimacy were part of erotic love and, therefore, from a Christian standpoint, taboo to singles. Yet Jesus was single, remained unmarried--but had female, and male, friends and confidants!
Personally I'm not so sure that it was Freud that did all the damage; I lay the blame right where it should be for Christians--The Church. Here are two personal examples:
I was crying, hurt by what had happened...My pastor followed me outside to hug me, stating that it wasn't really allowed...
I wanted to discuss a personal problem with another pastor; I was told that a woman would have to be present (somebody who did not have vows saying that they would not divulge any of the counseling). I refused...
As a single, I can attest to everything Dan Brennan states about today's church culture--we are isolated, ignored, or if we become close to somebody, viewed as a potential "other woman" that could bring about marital problems. Not even our pastors are allowed to care and show love to singles!
Dan Brennan brings forth example after example of the potential of friendship, of communion within the Christian community. Yet, it is as if readings from the Bible have been so distorted by our sexualized culture that there is no way to reach out to a brother church member to seek guidance, counseling, prayer, yes friendship.
Yet this is what we were called to do? Like the kiss of the innocent children, or the grateful woman who washed Jesus' feet, not every intimate relationship leads to a sexual encounter! Have you been as angry and frustrated as me as a single woman? Have you worked and become close friends with a male co-worker, or even your boss, and have it frowned upon by other coworkers or a spouse?
Now we have sexual harrassment laws that say never touch a co-worker, never show friendship or concern. Why? Because there is always a sexual connotation applied or assumed. Dan Brennan has spoken out. I for one, totally support what He is teaching as God's word! It's a start Dan--but there is so far to go! Keep writing and start sharing even more. Christians need to hear you!
Of course I consider this a must-read for anyone in the Christian community...Anybody else? I think it is a cultural issue as well...what do you think?
G. A. Bixler
What if cross-sex communion with a full range of nongenital passion is realistically possible and accessible in the new creation without violating the marriage bed? (p. 110)
Does the "true nature" of close male-female intimacy inherently lead to sex? (p. 54)
"In so many ways our culture trains us to be unfit for friendship." ---Paul Wadell (p. 33)
"You gave me no kiss, but from the time I came in she has not stopped kissing my feet."--Jesus Christ (p,119)
I don't usually use so many direct quotes from a book. but I believe you need to get the jist of what is covered by Sacred Unions, Sacred Passions by Dan Brennan! Now that's what I'm talking about Willis!"
Yesterday I reviewed what might be called a sex manual; today I review what might be called a sexuality manual...In some ways, the spirituality aspect of these books are the same.
Brennan mentions the study of young children needing touch and intimacy in order to grow. What happened to that philosophy? According to Brennan, through his well-research book, touch and intimacy were Freudized! Specifically, touching and intimacy were part of erotic love and, therefore, from a Christian standpoint, taboo to singles. Yet Jesus was single, remained unmarried--but had female, and male, friends and confidants!
Personally I'm not so sure that it was Freud that did all the damage; I lay the blame right where it should be for Christians--The Church. Here are two personal examples:
I was crying, hurt by what had happened...My pastor followed me outside to hug me, stating that it wasn't really allowed...
I wanted to discuss a personal problem with another pastor; I was told that a woman would have to be present (somebody who did not have vows saying that they would not divulge any of the counseling). I refused...
As a single, I can attest to everything Dan Brennan states about today's church culture--we are isolated, ignored, or if we become close to somebody, viewed as a potential "other woman" that could bring about marital problems. Not even our pastors are allowed to care and show love to singles!
Dan Brennan brings forth example after example of the potential of friendship, of communion within the Christian community. Yet, it is as if readings from the Bible have been so distorted by our sexualized culture that there is no way to reach out to a brother church member to seek guidance, counseling, prayer, yes friendship.
Yet this is what we were called to do? Like the kiss of the innocent children, or the grateful woman who washed Jesus' feet, not every intimate relationship leads to a sexual encounter! Have you been as angry and frustrated as me as a single woman? Have you worked and become close friends with a male co-worker, or even your boss, and have it frowned upon by other coworkers or a spouse?
Now we have sexual harrassment laws that say never touch a co-worker, never show friendship or concern. Why? Because there is always a sexual connotation applied or assumed. Dan Brennan has spoken out. I for one, totally support what He is teaching as God's word! It's a start Dan--but there is so far to go! Keep writing and start sharing even more. Christians need to hear you!
Of course I consider this a must-read for anyone in the Christian community...Anybody else? I think it is a cultural issue as well...what do you think?
G. A. Bixler
Most Recent Customer Reviews
Thought provoking book
Our church had a sermon series a few months ago on setting up 'guard rails' around different areas of your life. Read more
Published 14 months ago by Adam
Eye opening piece of work~
Just yesterday I finished this book and cannot recall the last time the written word has affected me so strongly. Read more
Published 17 months ago by KimD
A necessary addition to all church libraries!
Upon viewing an interview clip online for Dan Brennan's book "Sacred Unions, Sacred Passions," I immediately ordered this book and eagerly awaited its arrival. Read more
Published 18 months ago by KBagato
Superb!
Author Dan Brennan takes a closer look at the oft-neglected and sometimes controversial topic of intimate Christian friendship between men and women in this unique book. Read more
Published 20 months ago by Alexander Clark
Sacred Unions, Sacred Passions by Dan Brennan
Dan Brennan's book, supposedly, makes one main argument: Men and Women can share in deep, passionate, intimate friendships without sex. Read more
Published 22 months ago by Andrew Demoline
splendidly readable, and charitably subversive,
(note: several links are mentioned in the review..To make them active links,and to see a video inteview of the author). Read more
Published 23 months ago by Dave Wainscott
Sacred Union, Sacred Passion
I was intrigued by the premise of this book and I was pleasantly surprised by how much I enjoyed it. Read more
Published 23 months ago by Daniel Rustad
A good and challenging book on relationships
The book explores the possibility that friendship between men and women is possible and that, contrary to Harry in When Harry Met Sally, sex does not have to get in the way. Read more
Published 24 months ago by dachkl
a fresh look at friendship between the sexes
dan brennan thoroughly deconstructs the notion that men and women can only be friends if both are either single or married to each other by examining the romantic myth and freud's... Read more
Published on May 1, 2010 by linda
For Those of Us Who Have Cross-Gender Friendships
Well thought out, well researched, and well written. Dan Brennan explores the world of Christian cross gender relationships. Read more
Published on April 7, 2010 by S.J,.Dawson
Inside This Book
(learn more)
What Other Items Do Customers Buy After Viewing This Item?
Tags Customers Associate with This Product(What's this?)Click on a tag to find related items, discussions, and people.
|
Sell a Digital Version of This Book in the Kindle Store
If you are a publisher or author and hold the digital rights to a book, you can sell a digital version of it in our Kindle Store.
Learn more
Customer Discussions
|
This product's forum
Active discussions in related forums
Search Customer Discussions
|
Related forums
|
