Customer Reviews

The Sadomasochism of Everyday Life: Why We Hurt Ourselves -- and Others -- and How to Stop

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Typically when you may first think of Sadomasochism your initial thought may be about the fetish group that normally associates itself with BDSM practices. John Ross presents a different light on the subject suggestion that in everyday life most of us participate either actively or passively in sodomasochism. His definition is much broader than what you may traditionally think.

He feels that sadomasochism exists in everyday life in a variety of ways. These ways can be as simple as patterns in relationships where there is constant fighting, putting each other down, or continually trying to hurt the others feelings. Examples of these may be childhood teasing that children normally do when teasing someone different. Continual fighting with people in close relationships, or intentionally hurtning anothers feelings are also examples of this type of behavior. The book does not primarily focus on the sexual side of sadomasochism, it treats that behavior as a subset of other behaviors that an individual my possess.

While I thought many of the concepts where well thought out, and thought provoking, I did not see where he really suggested that an individual may stop this behavior. I understand he feels therapy is the best method of treatment for malicious behavior. He is a large fan of Freud. My understanding of this book is that you should seek therapy from a therapist that specializes in Freudian concepts.

This book is definately worth a read, as your time is well spent. I felt the later one-third of the book was more difficult to read, as it focused on Freudian based therapy as the primary method in treating these types of behavior.