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Same Lake, Different Boat: Coming Alongside People Touched by Disability

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Steph Hubach writes a book that has a focus of how we accept and embrace folks and families with disabilities... BUT that is just the tip of the iceberg! With her great sense of humor, vulnerable insights and stories, and clear theology and logic, Steph takes a subject and writes a book that will take the reader's heart to new places! This book is NOT just for dealing with disability in the Church... BUT for how all of us deal with some sort of "disability", be it being the "new family" in the church, dressing different then the majority of folks in the church, being young or old, coming from a different background, being single, being married, with children/without children, etc etc etc... how the Church needs to practice I Corinthians 12 and really be the Body of Christ that the world may see Him. That means that we all come to a place of a "new normal"... hard work, but "it is not optional", as Steph writes. As the reader, at first I thought this would help me in becoming aware of the physical/emotional/psychological needs of people who may come to worship and minister with our church. But, the Lord used it to open my own heart and show how each of us are "disabled" in one way or another because of our sinful natures and how each of us brings issues we are dealing with. Steph really challenges the Church and each individual to take all she writes and go beyond as we glorify God in all that we do. Really great reading.

Same Lake, Different Boat, written in a positive and encouraging tone, pushes us to be more aware of the opportunities to extend love and grace to those around us who are faced with the special challenges of living with disability. Because disability can take so many different forms, both visible and invisible, this book should encourage each of us to extend to others the grace we ourselves have received. Speaking from her own personal experiences, Stephanie Hubach writes with warmth about a topic for which new perspectives and learning will benefit all of us. In addressing the topic in a fresh manner, Stephanie challenges us to apply these perspectives more broadly than simply an organized ministry to the disabled, and reinforces the concept that one person can make a difference in the lives of others. End of chapter questions provoke further thought and reflection in applying the principles to real-life situations.

Stephanie Hubach has written an excellent book dealing with how we relate to and care for people who have fundamental and significant differences. While sharing experiences from her own relationships, she builds a theology of grace towards others that applies across a wide range of human experience. Her creative insights into understanding the age old question of dealing with suffering coupled with a unique view of reality stimulate a refreshing and thought-provoking discussion. Concisely written, personal in tone, she provides a solid basis for tearing down judgemental barriers and building effective communities among people with different needs. A must read for anyone interested in learning about loving and caring for "normal people in an abnormal world."

Every time I see a child or adult with Down syndrome or some other physical or intellectual disability, I think immediately of the Stepping Stones. Stepping Stones was the name given to a Sunday school class my dad worked with and taught for about 15 years. The class was an outreach ministry to those with intellectual disabilities.

Well, I thought I had it all figured out--how I am supposed to respond to people with disabilities. After reading the first chapter of Same Lake, Different Boat, I quickly realized that I have a lot to learn. As I continued to read the book, I took note of how many people connected with our little church are touched by some form of disability. We have one who has both physical and emotional instability, others who have troublesome limbs, one who has a form of autism, others who have suffered strokes, another who has a form of Lou Gehrig's disease, another who deals with seizures, and others. I've been scratching my head in some of these situations, wondering, How am I to be thinking concerning such and such a person's situation? What can I do? And what can I say?

Same Lake, Different Boat is a biblically grounded, readable, and entertaining book addressing this vital issue of church life, namely, responding rightly to disabilities and to those touched by them. Stephanie has written to the church with the purpose of equipping God's people with a biblical view of disabilities, of informing God's people about the needs of families touched by disabilities, and of suggesting plans of action for each member of the body of Christ to help those touched by disabilities. I am amazed at how much I enjoyed and have learned from this treatise.

By way of addressing this subject, Stephanie relies upon the Word of God, which has molded her perspective. Her many years of dealing with disabilities within her immediate family and within her church family and local community have also provided ample experiences of trial and error. She first unwraps her presentation by laying down a theological foundation for understanding disabilities, then by building an awareness of the realities families face as they deal with disabilities, then by detailing ways the church can effectively minister to all of its own special needs.

The first major point of this book is the distinction between three prevailing views "as to what is true about the nature of disability and about the nature of the world at large" (p. 24). She calls the first view "The Historical View" and defines it as holding that "Disability Is an Abnormal Part of Life in a Normal World" (p. 24). This is the view that considers disabilities as problems, defects, and nuisances. This view underlies the historical records of neglect, discrimination, hatred, abuse, and even extermination.

She identifies the second view as a reaction to the historical view, namely, "The Postmodern View: Disability Is a Normal Part of Life in a Normal World" (p. 25). This view is what began the re-introduction of some disabled peoples back into society within the last half-century. Those who hold and promote this view want to clean up the terminology. Gone are the days of derogatory words and classifications. Rather, they speak of celebrating disabilities. Disabilities, they claim, are no different than "any other human characteristic" (p. 26). Finally, after showing the deficiencies of each of the previous views, she introduces "The Biblical View: Disability Is a Normal Part of Life in an Abnormal World" (p. 27). These last four words make the difference. This is so because of The Fall.

For the first time in human experience, brokenness and difficulty were introduced. This marring of creation permeated not only the spiritual but also the physical, the intellectual, the emotional, the psychological, and the social. . . . For some people, the effects of brokenness are more noticeable or more dramatically experienced in one part of life over another. . . . However, all of us face the slow, incremental process of inching toward death on a daily basis. It has been said that "Health is just the slowest for of dying"--and so it is! (pp. 28-29).

From this cornerstone of truth about our common disability because of the fall, the proper response is to learn to identify with our brothers and sisters in Christ who have more pronounced forms of disabilities. Our usual posture is that of fear and/or awkwardness around those with disabilities. My mom just recently shared with me that some of the people in her church had commented with surprise that she seemed so comfortable speaking with and responding to a visitor who was wheelchair-bound with a physical disability. She gave him eye contact and told him she was glad he had visited. Since he couldn't shake her hand, she at least knew to place her hand on his arm--a sign of identification and acceptance similar to that of handshaking. He received her welcome and that of others and gladly said he wanted to return next Sunday because he had been made to feel welcome.

The chapter on "Identification" is the source of the book's title. Stephanie recalls some of the slogans we use and shows how they have been altered over time and corrects them. One is the common expression, "We're all in the same boat."

One doesn't have to experience much of life to recognize that this statement is an oversimplification of reality. A more accurate statement would be same lake, different boat. It reflects the truth that, as human beings, we share a common story, but the details of our experiences and life circumstances may vary significantly (p. 37).

We tend to see ourselves not in the same boat with our neighbors but in different lakes altogether. Identification with someone goes beyond understanding who and where they are but associating with them. "If God, who, in all his splendor and transcendence can choose to be immanent to us," she argues, "shouldn't we, who are clearly not transcendent, strive for association with our fellow human beings?" (p. 38).

From "Identification," Stephanie turns to "Respect." Respect in relationships is first rooted in the acknowledgment that we all are created in the image of God.

Consider it this way: the image of God within each individual can be likened to a mirror that reflects God's glory, in part, to others. Unmarred at creation, what an incredible and awesome reflection that must have been! In a world now impacted by the fall, each person's mirror is cracked, yet all reflects a distorted view of God's glory--but it remains a partial mirror of him just the same. Our struggle enters in because we find it so much easier to identify the cracks in the mirror, and so we miss the image entirely. It takes a conscious effort for us to concentrate on the most fundamental blessing of creation--that we are all created in the image of God--and to gaze speechlessly at his goodness, truth, and beauty in others (p. 46).

Second, respect in relationships is rooted in grace. "[G]race-based relationships," she explains, "impart respect to others in our path. Whenever we encounter brokenness in others we do not judge it, but we meet it--just as God meets us" (p. 48).

The benefits of following God's pattern to building respectful relationships are, at least, fourfold: (1) the powerful message of the gospel is demonstrated, (2) our perspective is corrected, (3) our motivation to be involved in the lives of others is properly grounded, and (4) the value of human life is protected.

In chapter 4, Stephanie addresses the all-too-real issue of the "Relentlessness" of life--when difficulties don't quit, cannot be beaten, and cannot be escaped. She identifies three responses to the relentlessness of life: "The first one is to develop a victim attitude. The second is to attack it with an `I will beat this' attitude. The third is to engage reality with a perspective that is honest and God-reliant" (p. 57). In fleshing out these responses, she draws upon the biblical example of Joseph and shows how he had to work his way through these options and chose to rely upon God.

Chapter 5, "On Restoration: Thy Kingdom Come," is an excellent display of how good theology ought to impact daily life. Throughout the book, Stephanie points out the fact that she is a member of Reformed Presbyterian Church (PCA). She refers to things she has learned from her pastor, anecdotes from church, and aspects of her and her husband's involvement in the ministry. It is also clear that she is not only well-taught but also well-read in Christian literature and theology. In this chapter, she turns our attention to a practical out-working of the theology of the Kingdom of God.

"There is . . . ," she explains, "a kingdom to be experienced whose substance is not `magical' or `come and gone.' Nor is it tied to the `compensation of all things.' Instead, it is `real' and `already, not yet.' And it promotes the `restoration of all things.' It is a partially present reality with a future, consummating hope--it is the kingdom of God" (p. 69).

This theology of the kingdom impacts our lives when, having identified with the kingdom of God through salvation, we become . . .

instruments of the kingdom of God--vehicles through whom the loving power of the King flows into the lives around us through our voluntary, obedient service. God's love displays its power of restoration in and through the powerful, active presence of the Holy Spirit in our lives. . . . One way of looking at how God delivers his restorative power is through healing, help, and hope. Think about the `already-not-yet-ness' of the kingdom being reflected along a spectrum of expressions of restoration. Healing is the fullest and most present expression of restoration, hope is the most future-oriented expression, and help is in the continuum in between (pp. 70-71).

"Part Two, About the Families" is a must-read for pastors and parishioners alike. We know what issues we face and often consider them to be unique. Do we really understand what families touched by disability have to deal with? I trembled at many points in this section considering what those I know might be dealing with--things I have never considered. She walks the reader through the process of "Coming to Terms with a New Reality," "Negotiating a Path to Acceptance," "Living a New Normal Life," and "Grappling with the Great Opportunity."

Sprinkled throughout Part 2 are tips and bits of advice for church leaders and members to consider when trying to reach out and help individuals and families touched by disabilities. In Part 3, Stephanie addresses "Facilitation in the Church." In this section, she deals with "Hospitality," "Belonging," "Wisdom," and "Change."

All of the stories are well-written, pertinent, and memorable; but the story she uses to begin chapter 10, "On Hospitality," was shaking. She makes her segue from the story to the main point about hospitality by insisting that "the essential characteristics of what the church is called to be--a hospital for sinners, as opposed to a country club for members only--can be found in this passage [Matt. 23:23-24]: justice, mercy, and faithfulness" (p. 154).

It is true that "the mere mention of ministries of justice or mercy can be met with raised eyebrows" but, as she rightly concludes, "the church must practice one without neglecting the other, for the true gospel in word and deed is one integrated gospel" (p. 154). The gospel is the power of God unto salvation. We must never neglect to preach the gospel, calling men to repentance and belief, but we must ensure that we do not invalidate the very message we are preaching by dealing unjustly, unmercifully, and unfaithfully. This section was especially challenging to me.

Stephanie concludes her book with a chapter "On Wisdom" and a chapter "On Change." These chapters are very helpful in that they help us begin to figure out ways to act upon the issue at hand. In the chapter "On Wisdom," she addresses questions, such as, "Whom Do We Help?", "How Much Do We Help?", "When Do We Help?", "From Where Do We Help?", and "With What Attitude Do We Help?" In the final chapter, "On Change," she addresses the questions "Do You Want to Change Your Church?" and "Revolution or Reformation?"

In conclusion, I would encourage pastors and laypersons to read this book It will be of immense help in dealing with the challenge of ministering to those with disabilities.

Dear reader, when I first was exposed to this book it came from a seminary bookstore. The staff shared that this would be a fantastic book to include in my literature review for my doctoral program. What a great book it is. We are a 52 year old ministry serving people with intellectual disabilities in residential, vocational and educational venues. We have just started a college ([...] college ([...]). In our third year of operation, we are making a difference in students' lives. Having as our mission to reach those with intellectual disabilities and their families for Christ, this book has been a great read for our staff. Personally, I give it away to many that are searching for answers to best help their child with Down syndrome. This mother's love of both of her sons along with practical guidance for all who read it is wonderful; can be felt through the pages. A sense of humor is so important when working with this population and the author can use that along with a wonderful understanding of God. The Bible references and the use of world views is worth the price of the book. Thankfully, Jesus did not have the ancient world view of life; that being disability is the result of sin in the individual and/or the parent. Jesus rather states that the disability is to glorify God. The author goes on to give an overview of the postmodern view that states this matter of disability as just a normal thing in a normal world; that explains absolutely nothing and blurs the line to understand the purpose that God has. The Biblical view is rightly stated that disability is a normal thing in a fallen world. What a great thing it would be if healing could be provided for all with disabilities. However, while that can happen, in most cases it won't until we are in heaven; we shall be like HIM (Jesus) for we shall see HIM as HE is. We can now provide help and hope to individuals and families. To that end, we thank this author for providing not only a Biblically sound premise for disabilities but also giving us sound input on how to work in the local church through the community of Believers there. The architecture in many churches has changed for the benefit of individuals with disabilities; now with books like this we can hopefully see attitudes changed. This book goes so well with the philosophy of our ministry....Appropriate Independence. First, we are designed on and for a purpose; all of us are created by God and made in His image. Second, we are created as individuals, yet for community. Third, we are training people for life; real life. In times gone by we have often seen people with an intellectual disability given just "dress rehearsal" and no opening night. We want those we serve to reach their full God-given potential. Finally, we are empowering people to serve. Serve Christ in the local church, serve at their jobs and serve their communities. I hope that books like "Same Lake Different Boat" will inspire more similar writing theologically correct and inspiring us to reach this "unreached" people group with the gospel of Jesus Christ.

With clear cut, Biblical theology and compelling logic Stephanie Hubach rips away pretentious "acceptance" to give a Godly perspective on disabilities. Our elders at Tenth Pres appreciated the challenge and clarity presented in the book. Personally, I am very grateful to this author for her insight which has helped me so much as I minister to families.

Rarely do I say a book is a 'must read.' That phrase is usually just a hyperbolic cliche. However, it fits with "Same Lake Different Boat." My wife and I read this book during the first year of one of our children's lives who was born with fairly severe developmental disabilities, and God used it to comfort, and quite frankly, transform our lives. This book is for everyone because of it's clarion focus on God's grace which flees to those who are broken and in need first. The author's paradigm of brokeness being "a normal part of an abnormal world" is I think part of the very core of the story of Scripture, which sets the stage for the Incarnation and the coming New Heaven's and Earth. That is, the reason Jesus came was to fix this abnormal world and praise God He is doing it and he is even using this book to accomplish His mission NOW! Everyone must read this book because everyone desperately needs that hope. Thank you Sephanie Hubach!!

The insights in Same Lake Different Boat gave me so many "ah-ha" moments. The author describes the human condition and how, in the Body of Christ, we each play equally important roles. She clearly sees the disabled as a crucial, important and beautiful part of God's family and as you read you can visualize how amazing it would be if we would incorporate and embrace these truths in our personal lives and within the our church families. This would be a great book for any church leader and also Bible Study groups or book clubs.

If a book can best be judged by its enduring impact on people's day-to-day existence, Steph Hubach's Same Lake, Different Boat: Coming Alongside People Touched by Disability is already a veritable classic. This remarkable book has afforded deep encouragement, practical guidance, and gracious provocation to love and good deeds to a host of people in my community. It's message, beautifully communicated, powerfully expressed, and intimately presented, is absolutely vital, I believe, for families, communities, schools, and churches. Indeed, though I give away lots and lots of books (one of the best things any prof or pastor can ever do), I do believe that I have given away more of this single title than any other in the last five years. I cannot recommend it more highly.

I found Stephanie Hubach's book, Same Lake, Different Boat, to be so refreshingly honest and it pointed me to deeper bibilical truths concerning how God sees all life as precious in His eyes. This is why I chose to include the first chapter of Stephanie's book in the Focus on the Family Sanctity of Human Life handbook.

I love it when she says:

It takes conscious effort to appreciate the most fundamental blessing of creation--that we are all created in the image of God--and to gaze speechlessly at His goodness, truth and beauty in others. We need to search for His glory in each individual until we find it, and then we need to celebrate it!

May the body of Christ embrace these truths and wrap around families with special needs members, as they reflect God's image in their own special way.