Customer Reviews

Samurai Cop

5 star:		(10)
4 star:		(2)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

This is quite simply one of the most amazing movies I have ever seen. By no means is it a good movie. It's a good movie to watch but only because it is so horrible. The dialogue, the production values, the acting, the music, the editing, you name it and it will make you laugh.

Joe "Samurai" Marshall is our main character. He's the martial arts using, fluent japanese speaker bushido warrior cop who is going to take down the Katana Gang. This guy sports one of the sweetest mullets you've ever seen and also spouts out some of the sleaziest/cheesiest lines you've ever heard. He also doesn't speak japanese a single time yet they say that he is fluent in it. Between him his partner and a very... promiscuous helicopter pilot they take the katana gang on.

I could go on and on... and on about this movie. Joe Marshall's big speech in the restaurant is so intense it's hilarious but if I keep going on then I won't leave much for the viewer to see for themselves. The commentary for the movie is also hilarious but the true experience for watching this movie is to see it in a big group. There is just so much to make fun of and you gotta do it with a few other people.

Definitely recommended and place it on your piano.

Yes, everything you've heard about Samurai Cop is true(that is considering you've heard anything at all). There's no reason why anybody, cult film fan or not, should like this film, but as reviewers have stated already, it's just too horrible not to be captivated by it. It's the kind of film a film course would show to it's class as a lesson in what not to do when making a film.
The simple plot is about a Japanese yakuza gang called Katana that finally meets their match in a newcomer police officer who is supposed to be a samurai. The Samurai Cop and his wisecracking black partner, Frank(they remind you of a micro budget Crockett and Tubbs), set out to bring the evil thugs down, but priorities are priorities, and it seems as though Samurai Cop's need to get laid is the top priority. Meanwhile, the lovable Robert Z'Dar is the evil second in command of the Katana gang and has made it his mission to slice the Samurai Cop into sushi.
You could call this a B movie, but that's giving it way to much credit. Maniac Cop was a B movie, and this doesn't even come close to that film. It looks only a hair above home movie picture quality, the dialogue is simply jaw droppingly bad, the fight scenes and car chases are accomplished by speeding up the camera, the sound(the spoken dialogue anyway) was obviously recorded after the shooting and dubbed back in(giving it an odd sound I might add), the fx were bad(one guy is obviously being shot with red paint pellets), hell it was all bad. Nothing was done right. And for a so called samurai movie, it had very little as far as martial arts go.
The Samurai Cop himself is a long haired piece of muscular beefcake played by Matt Hannon in his only film role. Of course Robert Z'Dar is the only person in this film who can even remotely be considered a star(okay Melissa Moore is in it too, but that's not saying much) Z'Dar does well at playing the typical Z'Dar role, and I will say that it's easier to buy him as a samurai than Matt Hannon(but I will say that Hannon knows a move or two).
The disc has an interview with Robert Z'Dar, which is always a treat because he has such a quirky sense of humor. He's well aware of the kind of films he makes, and while he never says that Samurai Cop was good, he does seem to have pleasant recollections of making the movie. Another plus to this disc is the funny intro and MST3K type commentary with Joe Bob Briggs. Very entertaining I must say.
Well, that's about it-A nice DVD package for a not so nice movie. Samurai Cop is one horrible friggin' movie, but in the end, that's the best thing it could be.

The only reason to get this dvd is for the Joe Bob Briggs commentary track. The film itself is laughable. There's even an introduction by Joe Bob! So, I'm sayin' "check it out" and if you like it, check out Joe Bob's other dvd commentary tracks on "I Spit on Your Grave (millenium edition)", "Jesse James Meets Frankenstein's Daughter", and "The Double D Avenger".

This is a real find. "Samurai Cop" is one of the all-time greatest bad movies in history. There is no possible way to review this film from a serious standpoint. Amir Shervan wrote, produced, and directed this monstrosity, so I hold him chiefly accountable. The DVD has great extras including an introduction and commentary track by Joe Bob Briggs, who is in even better form than usual here, as well as an interview with Robert Z'Dar, who is apparently attempting to follow the path of jocularity and girth popularized by Marlon Brando.

The plot concerns an undercover cop played by Matt Hannon who is attempting to break up the horrifying Japanese Katana Gang, of which Robert Z'Dar is the chief enforcer. There are so many problems with the film that I have no idea where to start. Well, now that I think about it, I do: let's start with Matt Hannon's hair. I have never seen a mullet like this in all my life. For the first half of the film I was actually asking myself if he was wearing a woman's wig from the Jaclyn Smith collection. This full, flowing mane of hair is as much a character in the film as any other actor, and seems to simultaneously represent the Samurai Cop's masculinity and femininity. If you don't think that's possible, watch him kiss the girls; it's disgusting.

Aside from the hair issues, the film features all the idiotic characters and plot points you would expect from a grade-Z film: the angry police Captain, the goofy sidekick (who laughs inappropriately on numerous occasions), extremely attractive women in hard to believe situations, and absolutely horrendous dialogue which, while gratuitous, fails to further the plot. To illustrate this point I direct you specifically to the exchange on circumcision, and the constant refrain of "keep it warm" which you just need to see for yourself to grasp how stupid, yet un-sexy a statement it is.

There are some great monologues about good and evil from Samurai Cop (my favorite is in a restaurant where he contrasts the Katana Gang with honest, hardworking Japanese-Americans) and, of course, the obligatory fight scenes. These generally come down to gun play, knife play, and karate. In the gun fights, I am constantly amazed that people in a gun battle find the most exposed place possible to stand (the middle of a door; an open field) when firing. This contributes to the extremely high body count in the movie as everyone and their brother gets shot by the end. There area couple of knife episodes, including a very lame ritual suicide (remember, death before dishonor). And then there is the karate. This is by far the best part of the movie. The scenes are moderately well choreographed, but to make them appear more professional Shervan constantly speeds up the film so that the action goes way faster than would be possible. This is, I suppose, an attempt to improve the dynamic energy of the film, but in reality makes it look more like a cartoon. These karate scenes (and a couple of the high-speed sword fights) are delightfully hokey; do not turn away even for a second during them. Please also note the bacon grease torture. Truly a scene of restrained understatement.

Again, the commentary from Joe Bob is one of his very best pieces of work, and I recommend watching the movie first without it then with it. For a wonderful piece of mid-1980s junk cinema, "Samurai Cop" absolutely cannot be beat. I highly recommend this one to any and all lovers of bad movies.

Keep it warm.

Sure to be a cult classic here in the states as it was in Europe. There's plenty of action and full breasted babes in action to keep you interested when the dialogue gets you laughing. Not to mention a mullet here or there. So, you may want to see it with Joe Bob's commentary on. A group of friends and I laughed our asses off to his comments. I guess there's no chance for a sequel since most of the cool characters die by hara-kiri, beheading, death by sword, fire or get shot off a roof. But our hero and his partner could always return..if there not in convalescent home by now. If you can't get your hands on the DVD don't despair, this film will surely show up on, "Dinner and a movie", or "Mystery Science 3000". weird blonde gangster

For once, I just don't know where to start. I've attempted over and over to review this movie, but I just didn't do it justice, how do you describe the movie that has everything? An over the top 80s cop movie that takes itself just seriously enough to keep it from being a farce. It's like an unintentional absurdism.

Think of it this way. When a good song is being played, you notice if the player hits the wrong note a few times. But let's say the player plays all the wrong notes, it becomes a completely different song in another key. That my friends is Samurai Cop. Nothing works, it's nothing but mistakes, but it is so amazingly bad that you can't take your eyes off of it.

Take for example, the title of the movie, Samurai cop. You get the idea of a sword-wielding Japanese police-officer. What does this movie give you? A Chippendale's dancer with shoulder-length women's hair. What I mean by this is, when a guy has long hair, it still looks like guy's hair, usually. It looks like this guy is wearing a wig to be perfectly honest. Together with his trusty black sidekick Frank they fight against the Order of Katana, an totally brutal Japanese gang!

In order to give the bad guys a more menacing image, their overdubbed voices are usually treated to sound gravelly. Not to mention the film is sometimes sped up to create an illusion that the chase is going faster or to make the martial arts scenes more exciting.

Joe, the Samurai Cop, spends more time hitting on girls than he does hunting the Katana. The first of these gals is the sexy female police-gal Peggy. Right off the bat this film delivers some great footage of Peggy in her birthday suit. Let's just say she brings a whole new meaning to the word 'perky.'

Let's get to the jokes. The comedy of the Samurai Cop world. Lots of s-e-x jokes. But all of them are strange and come out of nowhere. Viddy:

Frank: The Captain is going to burn my axx.

Joe: Yeah, he'll burn it, jet black.

Frank: It already is black.

Joe: Right on.

--------------
Peggy: Hey Preacher.

Preacher: Yeah?

Peggy:You and I got nothin' to do...Let's fxxxk.

Preacher: Shut up!

-------------------------------
Frank crawls under a fence.

Joe: Why did you go under?

Frank: Cause I'm an undercover cop.
--------------------------
Here's a humdinger...

Nurse: Do you like what you see?

Joe: I love what I see.

Nurse: Would you like to touch what you see?

Joe: Yes. Yes I would

Nurse:Would you like to go out with me?

Joe: Uhhuh, yes I would.

Nurse:Would you like to fxxxk me?

Frank gives a silly wide-eyed reaction shot.

Joe: *into her stethoscope* Bingo.

Nurse:Let's see what you got. *grope* Doesn't interest me.

Joe: What would interest you? Something the size of a jumbo jet?

Frank reaction shot.

Nurse: Have you been circumcised?

Joe: Yes why?

Nurse: Well your doctor must have cut a large portion off.

Joe: I have enough. It's big.

yadda yadda yadda, you get the idea.

It's stuff like this over and over throughout the whole movie. I mean...lookit, it's like nobody that made this movie had any idea of what they where doing and even less about how the police actually solve crimes and do their jobs. Most of the plot of this movie involves them catching the Katana members but accidentally killing them! But they need a live Katana member to testify in court!

No matter what they do they can't bring in a live Katana member. At one point a mob henchman actually machineguns down the gang members to keep them from talking!

Things get worse. While the Katana gang is going around murdering and torturing the entire police office, Samurai Cop Joe is too busy boinging his latest interest to care. And *grimace, get this, at one point *grimace, he walks around in a bikini. Who thought this would be a good idea? Whatever respect you may have mustered up for the Samurai Cop quickly goes down the tubes.

The martial arts segments, beleive it or not, aren't that bad. They're not that good, but at least it looks like they actually know some real moves. It's got some great sword slashing and gun shooting as well. And it certainly delivers when it comes to showing us hot babes.

Yes, my friends, this movie has everything and you'll laugh all the way through. To make matters even better this DVD has a comedy commentary be THE Joe Bob Briggs. Joe Bob will have you cracking up, as if this movie wasn't funny enough on its own.

Don't take it from me, take it from Joe Bob Briggs: Buy and watch Samurai Cop!

Probably the worst buddy cop movie ever made, and also the best. The acting, editing, special effects and story are so damn bad that they have to be seen to be believed. Its horrible. You must buy this, because its the best buddy cop movie ever made. I want a Samurai Cop T-shirt.

After watching RedLetterMedia's "Half in the Bag" review of Samurai Cop, I couldn't not buy and watch this movie. It is seriously a masterpiece of horribleness. As another reviewer already pointed out, I can't imagine anyone would or could give a serious review of this movie. It's just that bad. If you don't believe me, go watch the trailer on YouTube.

Samurai Cop is possibly the worst movie I've ever seen. And I might even put it just a sliver above Troll 2. Troll 2, while clearly deliciously inept, has bored me about halfway through the couple of times I have tried to watch it. This is not the case with Samurai Cop. The lines, acting, delivery, direction, production and choreography are all so terrible that it's fascinating. I couldn't look away.

An interesting thing happened to me while I watching Samurai Cop, though. About halfway through the movie, I'm not sure why, I began to watch the movie from a serious standpoint. Everything that came before was just so laughably bad that I was giggling. But it's almost like the movie turned my brain into mush, and my standards were lowered as I was watching the movie. I stopped laughing so much, and can only describe my watching the second half as if you were watching someone run repeatedly into a wall face first. Eyebrows scrunched together, wondering what in god's name is going on.

But regardless, I would honestly recommend watching Samurai Cop, unless you can rent it for cheaper ($13.50) is a little steep considering this movie falls into the 'So-bad-it's-good' category. I'd also recommend watching this in a group with friends, because you will find it much more enjoyable. Though it won't be wasted if you watch it solo. I really can't say exactly why this movie is so bad, because it's really just something that you have to see for yourself, and trying to describe the awesomely bad dialog wouldn't do it justice.

If you like to laugh at horrible movies then this is a good one for you although its a little on the expensive side for something so old and so horrible at around 18 bucks is what i bought it for. Enjoy!

this movie is absolutely awesome... I usually watch bad movies with friends but I saw this one for the first time while solo and it still had me laughing like a maniac (but not like a maniac cop)

I put a drinking game for this on the imdb message board - check it out