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Editorial Reviews
Review
Alien invaders kidnap everyone's favorite right jolly old elf in this low-budget mixture of children's comedy and sci-fi adventure. Christmas is not far away, and countless children are glued to their family's TV sets, watching reports about Santa Claus (John Call). However, this is happening on Mars, and leaders of the Red Planet aren't sure what to do for their kids who are pining away for a visit from the gift-bearing earthling. Martian leader Kimar (Leonard Hicks) dispatches two of his emissaries, the chronically grumpy Voldar (Vincent Beck) and the moronically cheerful Dropo (Bill McCutcheon), to Earth to bring Santa back for a visit. After arriving on Earth, Voldar and Dropo abduct two children, Betty (Donna Conforti) and Billy (Victor Stiles), and order the kids to show them the way to Santa's workshop, from which all three are taken to Mars against their will. As Santa, Betty, and Billy try to find a way back to Earth, Voldar becomes enraged with the Earth kids, while the children bond more comfortably with the intellectually-challenged Dropo. Shot on a shoestring budget on Long Island, Santa Claus Conquers the Martians has developed a rabid cult following over the years, and yes, it's true, Kimar's daughter Girmar really is played by a ten-year-old Pia Zadora. --Mark Deming, All Movie Guide
Product Description
The children of Mars are depressed and no one seems to know why. When Martian leaders go to see their most ancient wise man, he tells them that the children of Mars need the joy of Christmas... and Santa Claus! When Martians invade Earth to find this mysterious Kris Kringle, they are confused when they discover a Santa on every street orner. So the Martians kidnap two earth kids to help them find the real Santa. The kids take them to the North Pole. There they find Santa's workshop with his elves hard at work making toys. The Martians then invite Santa and the two Earth kids back to Mars with them. Santa then sets up a robot mechanized workshop to make toys for all the Martians. They all grow to love Santa, but somehow Santa and the children have to get back home. Christmas Day on Earth is coming just around the corner!
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Customer Reviews
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
40 of 40 people found the following review helpful
Format:DVD
It's the kookiest Christmas ever when Santa Claus is kidnapped by Martians in this "you have to see it to believe it" Christmas "classic." Maybe you've seen this movie hilariously skewered on Mystery Science Theater 3000, but you have to watch it on its own to truly appreciate it. Santa Claus Conquers the Martians is just so bad that I can't help but love it, and that explains why I am giving this deservedly one-star movie four stars. The Martian get-ups are more ridiculous than Marvin the Martian's normal attire, the sets redefine the very definition of cheap, the acting is over-the-top and generally horrible, and Santa is - well, he's just a little bit weird, if you ask me. Every time the guy starts in with his distinctive laughing (usually for no apparent reason), I am reminded of the fact that Satan is spelled with the same letters as Santa.
Things aren't going so well on Mars. It's bad enough that the Martians are all colored a ridiculous shade of green, dress like rejected superheroes, and wear ridiculous antenna-spouting helmets on their heads at all times, but now the children of Mars are all acting depressed and withdrawn; all they want to do is sit and watch Earth TV. Kimar (Leonard Hicks), the leader of Mars, seeks the advice of the planet's 800-year old wise man and is told that he must bring Santa Claus to Mars so that the children can actually have fun and be children for a little while. Voldar (Vincent Beck) opposes the plan every step of the way, arguing that Kimar's plan will soon result in a whole planet full of lily-livered, mush-brained nincompoops. Kimar wins out and sets off for Earth in the most pathetic spaceship of all time to catch Santa and bring him back to Mars - along with two Earthling children. Well, Santa starts up a new workshop on Mars, hoping he'll be allowed to return home in time for Christmas, but Voldar is as tenacious as he is ridiculous-looking and is determined to kill Santa and stomp out all signs of Christmas spirit on the red planet.
Santa Claus Conquers the Martians features a young Pia Zadora as a little Martian girl, but perhaps the movie's most unforgettable feature is the swinging theme song, Hooray for Santa Claus. If you watch the movie, you'll have this silly song in your head for days. Dropo (Bill McCutcheon) gives a memorable performance as Mars' resident screw-up with a heart of gold, but my thoughts always remain with John Call and his disturbingly weird portrayal of Santa Claus. I can pretty much guarantee that this movie will make you laugh with its unashamed ineptness, and bad movie lovers are ineligible for their very first merit badge until they have watched Santa Claus Conquers the Martians and lived to tell about it.
27 of 29 people found the following review helpful
By Tammy Brobst
Format:DVD
This DVD from Intermedia (Woodhaven), is the best version on DVD. The print quality used is much better that that used on other DVD's.
17 of 17 people found the following review helpful
Format:DVD
Yeah, "It's a Wonderful Life" is a pretty good movie. However, the movie I joyfully watch every Christmas is about martians who, lacking a Santa Claus to bring joy to martian kids, kidnap Santa from Earth, along with two children. "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" is almost sublime in its badness, and with painted-green martials in skintight suits, a Santa with a lewd chuckle instead of a "Ho Ho Ho," incredible wooden acting by the cast (one of whom is Pia Zadora), unspeakable special effects, and a horrible theme song, it is a masterpiece of the so-bad-it's-good school of film. Just TRY getting the theme song out of your head.
The DVD from Laserlight looks exactly as one would expect it - awful. The supersaturated colour scheme has not aged well, and looks very grainy. There are many scratches, but that only adds to the film's strange charm. Unfortunately, the first fifteen seconds or so of the film's opening credits are not on this DVD, depriving loyal fans of seeing EVERY BIT of "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians." Unsurprisingly, there are no extras, although the menus are pretty good.
The DVD from Laserlight looks exactly as one would expect it - awful. The supersaturated colour scheme has not aged well, and looks very grainy. There are many scratches, but that only adds to the film's strange charm. Unfortunately, the first fifteen seconds or so of the film's opening credits are not on this DVD, depriving loyal fans of seeing EVERY BIT of "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians." Unsurprisingly, there are no extras, although the menus are pretty good.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars
PURE FUN CAMP.
As you can tell from the title, this movie is a little strange. But I'm a good way. The lack of production quality may turn some people off, but I think this is what makes it fun. Read more
Published 6 days ago by Mark Mathews
4.0 out of 5 stars
Santa Claus Conquers The Martians--Kino Lorber Remaster
To anyone who has a soft spot for this classic bit of cinema cheese, I say unto you: Go with the Kino Lorber Studio's version of "Santa Claus Conquers The Martians: Remastered... Read more
Published 15 days ago by T. R STONE
5.0 out of 5 stars
A True Christmas Classic
When I first watched this movie, I immediately loved it. Is it cheesy? Yes. Is it bad? Awesomely Bad! Read more
Published 1 month ago by Haystack
3.0 out of 5 stars
For those who grew up watching this film will probably want to own it...
It's a film that has been voted as "one of the worst films ever made" and it's also a film that has its fans because of its unusual sci-fi nature and that film is "Santa Claus... Read more
Published 1 month ago by Dennis A. Amith (kndy)
1.0 out of 5 stars
WHAT COULD BE WORSE THAN THE FILM? THE HIGH DEF.
This is it people the high definition release of one of the worst movies ever made in cinema history, from the props to the special effects and the acting almost nothing sinks as... Read more
Published 2 months ago by B. Green
3.0 out of 5 stars
"All this trouble over a fat little man in a red suit."
The man in the red suit doesn't even spout a single "Ho, ho, ho." The actors act like they'd rather be doing anything but this movie. Read more
Published 2 months ago by El Jimbo
2.0 out of 5 stars
Santa Claus Conquers the Martians
This is famously one of the worst movies ever made and it lived up to its reputation. I bought it for a joke.
Published 4 months ago by NancyLMitchell
5.0 out of 5 stars
Santa went to Mars
This is an older movie. It is very corny but funny. I had to have it when I saw it on DVD. Packaging was good.
Published 4 months ago by CharleeSnap
5.0 out of 5 stars
Extremely Funny!
I loved the movie, never get tired of watching !!! Excellent cast, can't believe it was made in the 1960's.
Published 4 months ago by Kathleen
4.0 out of 5 stars
Great "C" Movie...
This movie is really so bad that we liked it... It has terrible acting, typical 50's special effects, and a ridiculous plot. it's so BAD that it's GOOD...
Published 4 months ago by James Southard
