Customer Reviews

Santa Responds: He's Had Enough...and He's Writing Back!

5 star:		(5)
4 star:		(3)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(3)
1 star:		(2)

 

 

(I gave it 5 stars because it kept everyone at a family dinner laughing the whole time!)

Perfect for : Personal reading, great host/hostess gift (for the right person!)

In a nutshell: I don't know if my family has laughed this much in quite a while - at least not because of a book! We had relatives over for dinner one evening, and I decided to pull this book out to see what they thought. What I thought would be a quick five minute browse through the book ended up lasting over an hour as we passed the book back and forth, reading the children's letters and how Santa responded to them out loud. I've never had a better time during dinner! This is the perfect gift for someone with a great sense of humor, or someone who needs one! It would also be great after a long day of work, or holiday shopping - just grab a cocktail and start reading - your day will instantly get better! As I learned, this book is also a perfect ice breaker for a gathering - just make sure there are no kids who still believe in Santa, because just like the picture on the cover - this Santa isn't your normal "ho, ho, ho" jolly old Saint Nick, but rather a blunt pot-bellied, tattooed, cigar-smoking, drinking, cursing (not too bad) Santa who is finally telling kids exactly what he thinks!

Extended Review:
You've simply got to get this book this holiday season! If for some reason it offends you - I apologize, but I don't expect it to offend anyone. My parents were here when we read it out loud, and if anyone would have been offended, it would have been my Mom, who took everything in stride and laughed as much as the rest of us! While you are at it, pick up a copy for someone else who deserves a good laugh!

Characters: Santa is hilarious! He's pulling out all the stops and telling kids what the reality of the situation is!

Story-Line: This book is full of letters written by children to Santa, and his responses. Please note that it is NOT a book I would read to a child who still believes in Santa, or any child at all, as it is certainly filled with adult humor.

Readability: I found the book easy to read. One note here is that the kid's letters are in different fonts, and some really look like kids handwriting, which can get a bit tricky in some situations (think of the suggested cocktail above).

Overall: A holiday MUST HAVE this year, especially with the economic fears - everyone needs to laugh about something!

Been out shopping?

...Have you REALLY been enjoying the hustle and bustle of the crowds in the Mall? Trying to get that "in" doll or electronic game?

Or contrarily, are you already fed up with the endless ads that your children have absorbed and repeat-- robot like-- over and over. **We want .... We need ....**

If that's you, or someone you know, let me suggest "Santa Responds". It's a glib little book that will have you snickering with glee at what's naughty, not nice.

The format is one of letters and responses. The children's acquisitive letters are on the left, with the man in red's snarky responses on the right. The children's requests are on lined paper and in various goofy kid-like fonts, while Santa's glib responses appear typed on the right, on official North Pole stationary.

And example of which follows:

Dear Marisol,

You had me all the way through your letter, but then you went and blew it at the very end by ratting out your sister. What kind of a traitor are you? I know full well what your sister is capable of, but up until now I never suspected how small and petty you could be. It saddens me that the lovely Wedgewood Tiny Tea Service I had set aside for you, and the giant-size stuffed Simba we've been working to complete for months, will now be going to someone far more deserving.

Perhaps your sister.

Cheers!

Santa


This is a funny book for adults who need a little break from the Holiday spirit. It's not a book to read all in one sitting. (There's not enough variation for that.) But instead, a book to be savored a tableau at a time, here and there, for Holidays to come. A nice gift idea the Scrooges in your life. [[3.5 Stars]]

Do you constantly feel holiday stress and become angry with the crowds? Does the sound of perpetual Christmas music make you want to stab someone? Did you enjoy Billy Bob Thornton's portrayal of Santa in the movie Bad Santa? Does the sight of snot-nosed, spoiled brats inevitably named Dakota or Tristen being fawned over by their ignorantly pretentious and criminally lenient parents cause you to become a boiling cauldron of misanthropy?

If you answered yes to any of the questions above - or all of them like I did - then this book is a perfect stocking stuffer for you.

In Santa Responds: He's Had Enough...and He's Writing Back!, Santa replies to 50 different children's letters on official, "Santa Enterprises, North Pole" letterhead. In each reply he displays a caustic wit and a no-nonsense, no-BS attitude. Part psychotherapist, part disillusioned curmudgeon, he bluntly attacks the culture that has children today pampered to the extent that any sort of misbehavior is characterized as a "disorder," replying to one child with, "it's time to see your doctor about taking you off of the meds." Telling one girl that she's not getting a Barbie doll but a Raggedy Ann doll instead because it "better represents [her] future body type;" Santa pulls absolutely no punches.

And do not DARE write Santa with illegible, ebonified nonsense. He'll respond with derision and a grammar lesson aimed at destroying the deluded self-confidence of the little moron begging for presents. My favorite is a quick punctuation lesson given to one undoubtedly mouth-breathing child. "No presents will be coming this year," Santa lectures, "[and] the insertion of just one single comma can turn...the worst Christmas ever into one of your best."

This book is truly hilarious. One kid asks for some software for his computer and a pet; so, Santa tells him that Quicken Tax Pro 2000 and a slug - he can name Spike - are both on the way. One kid asks for a book set and Santa sends The Internal Revenue Service 1991 Tax Code (all eighteen volumes!). Love it!

As Santa coolly tells a young girl named Lane after her present requests significantly contradict her behavior, "You truly are delusional," and any reader must share that distinction if they don't find humor in this book. This is highly recommended as a stocking stuffer for all, especially the vulgar Scrooge in your family. If you disagree with this review, I'll borrow a biting zinger Santa sent to one greedy child whose wishes outweighed reality, "Get bent."

This is a laugh-out-loud book that is fun for everyone! I love to keep it out during the holidays for all of my guests to enjoy.

If you are sick of the "I deserve it all" attitude, then you will love this little book. Santa is down right rude yet says it like it is! You may even find yourself offended! The author leans to the left so if you are to the right just hang in there...he throws rocks at everyone to some degree. Enjoy---we did!

I knew I would love this book from the subtitle alone: "He's had enough and he's writing back!" Basically, this book is a set letters from kids and the snarky reponses from a grouchy, overworked Santa tired of dealing with striking elves, ungrateful children, and oatmeal raisin cookies. If you are looking for something to cut the sweetness of the holiday hype, then this is the book for you. It is certainly a must-read for anyone who has ever been one of Santa's helpers- if I was convulsed with laughter, I can only imagine how those who have dealt with such requests would respond.

This book would make a great stocking stuffer; though you are unlikely to read the whole thing in one sitting, you can certainly count on a laugh anytime you open it up to read a letter or two. I'm giving it four stars because there are a few places where the humor of the kids' letters felt a bit forced, but if these letters are actual letters written by real children, then the rating goes up to a definite five stars!

I was reading this book in the book store the other day and found it VERY entertaining! The book has "letters" written to Santa and his response to them. This book is NOT for children as it has some mild language scattered about.

WELL worth the 9.95!!!

Though this book had some funny parts, it was inconsistent. The sometimes gratuitous use of profanity makes it an adult book, for sure. Okay, but I would not buy it again or recommend it to others.

Prospective readers are forewarned about the tone of SANTA RESPONDS by the back-cover copy: "Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. And he's pissed." Inside, the Santa who responds to approximately 60 children's Christmas letters is also hyper-critical, cynical, and mean.

The book itself has a pleasing design: a slim hardcover with the children's letters printed on notebook paper in a variety of "handwritten" fonts, and Santa's replies typed on his official letterhead stationary. But the content left me cold -- repetitive, minimally clever, never funny -- especially in doses beyond a few pages at a sitting. That said, I *would* recommend this book to fans of insult comedy, a la Don Rickles or Kathy Griffin.

You definitely made our day reading those little beauties. Holiday stress can get anyone down, and to be able to laugh at, really laugh at, yourselves, family, and just general nuttiness in general takes a lot of stress off our shoulders. This is the type of book that you will want to pick up and read, no matter what time of year it is. Everyday life can get us down and to be able to laugh hysterically at something is: Priceless. Some may not appreciate some of the responses Santa may have given, but if they're really honest and are able to see what an "adult" has always wanted to say but never dared, then this book is for them. I wholeheartedly approve of this book and hope that more follow, fast. Christmas is approaching and eggnog only goes so far. Drop me a line if another one comes available, only now I would love an autographed copy. :-)
Kitty & Mom