Customer Reviews

Satan Burger

5 star:		(50)
4 star:		(18)
3 star:		(10)
2 star:		(5)
1 star:		(7)

 

 

Heaven is full and God has closed the gates. No more souls are accepted, so He discontinues death and creates a walm, a door that allows "toys" from other worlds to come in, for His entertainment.

Imagine a world gone boring. Nobody cares about anything, so they sit, stare at the wall and shrug. Imagine being one of the few, who still has an inclination to care, searching for their place in a bizarre and twisted life.

Such is Rippington, New Canada created by Carlton Mellick III. The cast of "punks" include Leaf an ex-drug addict who sees in third person through his God's eyes; Nan an ex-skinhead; Gin a conscious dead person whose body parts are alive courtesy of Satan's touch; and Vodka and Christian who appear to be the most normal out of the bunch. Then you have Satan ... THE Satan ... who opens a chain of restaurants called Satan Burger. You can eat there free, but it comes with a price.

SATAN BURGER isn't for those who only like pure and pretty things. It's a weird and perverted tale, but if you're bored with your usual normal range of taste, start with this novel.

Pick this book up with an open mind or you'll never make it past the cover art. Which would be a shame, because SATAN BURGER is an utterly fascinating, inventive and oftentimes hilarious read.

Before I begin, I'd like to preface this article by saying Satan Burger was the first Carlton Mellick book I ever read, and since then I have been hooked.

The world has changed. The people are no longer entertained by it, and neither is God. He has grown bored of the human race, and so he's created the Walm, a giant vagina-like portal, out of which come strange, alien creatures.
But there are a few people left who don't just stare at the wall and shrug, who care about life. Meet Leaf, a drug deranged loser who could be the other son of God, the unwanted screw-up, and his equally weird friends, as they team up with the devil in the hope of finding their place in a broken world.

You can only begin to understand the surreal world from Mellick's brilliantly twisted mind seen through Leafs Acid Ocean Eyes; Satan Burger has an ending that will leave you in blissful awe. This is one of those select few books that will leave you both satisfied and begging for more, and will undoubtedly stay with you for your entire life.

To call Carlton Mellick III a genius would be like calling a blue whale "pretty big".

with all the hype, i expected an extreme book that is sacriligious and raw and whatnot, but it isn't. the story is different, well told, and interesting. the book is well written, flows nicely, and has an interesting bunch of characters. at times the words are poetic, and there is one scene that was so well written i could see what was happening. the book is odd, has some odd philosopy, and an interesting take on the invention of the sandwich. i'm glad i bought the book, it is in no way cookie cutter.

.........But the reason we read books like this is to be entertained. Satan`s fast food restaurant is filled with VCR`s that can`t take someone`s order, Leaf has "God`s Eyes" that allow him to float to somewhere else, Wanna be Pirates, fascination and being turned on by Jesus. This book is really wild , but at some point I`m waiting for the pay-off. The part of the book where it all comes together. For me, even reading about the "Blue Women", that moment never came. "The dolphin shocked me when he (?) picked up the accordian that was lying in the pool and began to play Wagner when Alisa said, "The toast comes before the butter God dammit!!""
If those passages were in a "Carlton Mellick III" ANTI-NOVEL I`d be popular too. While a number of people gushed over this book, maybe I just don`t get it. A little more of The Silence might have done it for me...........who knows.

I don't normally write reviews but i thought I should warn you. Dont buy this book. It reads like an angsty high school students journal. I bought this after being recomended it by many people on amazon. I like choke and survivor and easton ellis and all that but this is whack.

Though I didn't love this book as much as the other reviewers, I did enjoy it quite a bit. It was definitely something different. I didn't relate with the characters but they were interesting and unique enough to follow until the end. I can recommend it because of three reasons. First, almost every page is packed with creative ideas and images, you'll never get bored. Second, the writing style was poetic enough to be refreshing, but not overdone. Third, you never knew where the story would take you. I had some problems with the characters. Maybe I just don't relate to the rebelious youth anymore. Whether you can relate to him or not, Carlton Mellick is one of a kind. I recommend reading Razor Wire Pubic Hair first though. It is more Dali than Python.

There were some downright funny moments in this book. Regretfully, they were few and far between. For the most part, it was just a rambling exercise of imagination. Much of its perspective seemed juvenile, which is to be expected; he wrote it while very young.

I'm sure his newer work is much improved.

Okay, okay. I've heard enough about the so-called juvenile shock tactics that people accuse this book of having. It's untrue, plain and simple

This is a complex and entertaining book about a really, really screwed-up future. It's punk rock surrealism, baby. It's gonna be weird, it's gonna be off-the-wall. But it's also gonna be fun as hell.

Let's get serious. There is crazy stuff that goes on in this book. If you are a Christian, you probably shouldn't read this. If you like your sci-fi by the book, you probably shouldn't read this. However, if you like your futuristic tales splashed with a healthy dose of bizarro, then by all means, read SATAN BURGER. If you have a warped sense of humor, then by all means, read SATAN BURGER.

Carlton Mellick makes some pretty interesting observations about religion, music "scenes", consumerism, society, and human nature in general. Despite the sometimes gruesome imagery and the sex-death-blasphemy that abounds, the author has a lot to say about religion and life. You'll find yourself being forced to THINK about things while reading this book. It's not just entertainment, really. Well, at least in my experience.

The organization of the book was also pretty interesting. (Act One, etc).

CONS: The book could have probably been shorter. I found that it dragged in parts. Still, that's not enough reason to not read the book. You'll enjoy it if you like your fiction weird and with a sense of humor. If you don't mind an author making fun of religion, this is for you. If you don't mind an author making fun of people in general, this is for you.

There is enough imagination in this book to power a whole series of books. You'll find so much mind-blowing imagery that you can't help but feel that you've ripped off the author by what you paid. You will feel like you owe him quite a bit more. You can practically feel the energy and the passion that the author obviously put into this work.

And so, you should buy and read SATAN BURGER. In fact, buy a few copies and give them out to your friends. They'll thank you for it.

I highly recommend 'Satan Burger.' It was just the refreshment I was looking for.

This book effortlessly incorporates the insights of its author into a journey through an alternative to the real world. The style of the writing is strong but very relaxed, and has an improvisational quality that's lacking in too many books.

Without getting into plot details, I'll mention that there's a very amusing reference to death metal fans, which explains this somewhat disturbing musical phenomenon (which I listen to). You'll probably never look at back seats or the moon the same way again, either.

If you're in the mood for something different, I heartily recommend 'Satan Burger.' You may get sick of looking at the cover, but that's the price you pay for reading what's inside (well, other than what you pay for the book!).

This book is just f*cking cool as hell. It's the most unique apocalyptic book I've ever read and packs in more imaginative ideas than anything I've previously read. Picture a world where 99% of the population has lost their souls and have become boring emotionless drones (wait a minute, that's already happened, hasn't it?) and the souls are being used to fuel a doorway to other dimensions. Mobs of alien cultures move in and take over. The streets become overpopulated with foreign creatures. Some of the best parts of the story are the ones that explore the different cultures. There's a race of midgets that dress up like American presidents. There's a race of women with blue skin that need sex in order to survive. There's drunken medieval knights that sword fight in alleys. There's lizard people that violently rape and kill (or kill and rape) everyone they come across. There's a creature made of sound with an Irish pub in its belly. Plus many more.

The plot gets more and more absurd as you read and goes in crazy unexpected directions.
It takes place in the modern day and focuses on members of a noise band that get jobs at a fast food restaurant owned by Satan, a rather nice homosexual business man who has a plan to save their souls.

The characters are all really interesting. The narrator is a pathetic wretch, but he is proud of being a pathetic wretch. He also doesn't have normal vision. He has Acid Ocean Eyes, which make him see everything in a pulsating tripped out kind of way. And he has God's Eyes, which make him see anything anywhere in the world, like clairvoyance. Which is cool for the plot, because the narrator can see what is happening anywhere in the city even if he isn't there.

The other characters are: Nan, a skinhead girl who masturbates to pictures of Jesus Christ. Mortician, a Japanese pirate. Christian, who is as obnoxious as a Christian. Vodka, the depressed German bagpipe player in the band who is in love with a toilet. And Gin, a zombie whose body parts come back to life with minds of their own.

The world in Satan Burger also has some little differences to our world. Such as weeks are 8 days long to give people 3 day weekends every week. Gravestones in cemeteries have drawers that contain autobiographies of every human being that ever lived. The moon has corporate ads on it. A lot of stuff like that.

If you think I've just given away the whole plot, think again. This book has so much cool stuff in it that it would take a 20 page review just to list them all. It's just an awesome amazing book all around. I wish I had written it.