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The Satanic Nurses: And Other Literary Parodies [Hardcover]

J. B. Miller (Author)
3.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (4 customer reviews)


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Book Description

January 22, 2003
In J.B. Miller's alternative literary universe, Virginia Woolf has a crush on William Powell, Norman Mailer provides "The Rules" for dating, Bridget Jones writes "The Diary of Anais Nin," and J.D. Salinger sends letters to young starlets inviting them to audition for the movie of "Franny."

Dave Eggers gives us "A Backbreaking Work of Incredible Thinness," Philip Roth gets into a fight with Nathan Zuckerman, E. Annie Proulx is guilty of "Vocabulary Crimes," and we read the missing transcript of Jonathan Franzen on the Oprah Winfrey Show.

We visit Frank McCourt's disturbing childhood in "Angela's Eyelashes," we learn from David Mamet "How It Is To Write," and go "Trainspitting" with Irvine Welsh. Toni Morrison gets "Belabored," P.G. Wodehouse admits that "She's a Right Ho, Jeeves," Mary McCarthy foils Lillian Hellman's attempted assassination of Hitler, David Foster Wallace proves an "Infinite Pest," notes are found for J.R.R. Tolkein's abandoned opus, "The Lord of the Strings," and polar explorer Ernest Shackleton gets lost on the London bus system.

These are just some of the forty-four witty and outrageously funny pieces that comprise The Satanic Nurses, a satiric anthology of counterfeit lit.


Editorial Reviews

From Library Journal

Casting aside all caution, this reviewer hereby pronounces this book a necessity for every person who fancies madcap humor. Playwright and novelist Miller (My Life in Action Painting) offers some of the most adroit and exhilarating, not to mention irreverent, parody since Max Beerbohm, and that is high praise indeed. Unless you are an austere soul who cannot abide seeing some of your favorite authors made sport of, you will laugh outright as the idiosyncratic writing styles and mannerisms of 45 dissimilar literary celebrities-such as Hemingway, Salinger, Updike, Virginia Woolf, Toni Morrison, J. K. Rowling, Salman Rushdie, and E. Annie Proulx-are evoked and captured through imitation, exaggeration, and horseplay. When he is on target, and he usually is, Miller is unbeatable-funny and true. The most exigent opera bouffe fan could hardly ask for more.
A.J. Anderson, Simmons Coll., Boston
Copyright 2002 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Review

"Bookworms can squirm with pleasure as J.B. Miller skewers and roasts to perfection several darlings of the literary establishment." --Boston Herald (2/2/03)

"Merciless (and very funny) . . . irreverent and entertaining." --The Tennessean

"Casting aside all caution, this review hereby pronounces this book a necessity for every person who fancies madcap humor. Miller offers some of the most adroit and exhilarating, not to mention irreverent, parody since Max Beerbohm, and that is high praise indeed. . . . You will laugh outright. . . . Miller is unbeatable." --Library Journal

"J.B. Miller has brilliantly eviscerated many of my dear, friends, both living and dead. This will be his last book. I'll make sure of it." -Neal Pollack, author of The Neal Pollack Anthology of American Literature

"The hilarious and dead-on parodies contained within this appalling little volume succeed both as satire and as homage; they're a kiss AND a slap. Great fun." -Henry Alford, author of Big Kiss and Out There

"I knew that Nabokov was a horny bastard. I just didn't remember him being so funny."
-Mo Rocca, The Daily Show with Jon Stewart

“Evident in these pieces is [Miller’s] acerbic wit.” --San Francisco Chronicle

Product Details

  • Hardcover: 208 pages
  • Publisher: Thomas Dunne Books; 1st edition (January 22, 2003)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0312305443
  • ISBN-13: 978-0312305444
  • Product Dimensions: 7.8 x 5.1 x 0.8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 11.4 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 3.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (4 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,965,210 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

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Average Customer Review
3.8 out of 5 stars (4 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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8 of 10 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars The funniest book!!!!, January 7, 2003
By A Customer
This review is from: The Satanic Nurses: And Other Literary Parodies (Hardcover)
I haven't laughed so much since the last time I laughed this much, which never happened before. This book is HILARIOUS! If you like literary satire, this book is for you. The Harry Potter spoof had be falling off my chair. Unfortunately I was driving at the time. When I woke up in the hospital I asked the staff where my copy of THE SATANIC NURSES was. They thought I was making fun of them, so they had me operated on by Dr. Thousxisamspams. I think he was the guy who killed Andy Warhol. Anyway, during the operation he started reading the book, which he must have found somewhere (it was probably MY copy), which made him laugh so much (I think it was the piece called She's a Right Ho, Jeeves, the send-up of P.G. Wodehouse) that he botched the operation, and now I have a dirty grin stuck on my face. Anyway, the book is pretty funny. But read it on a train or something.
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2 of 3 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Smart, pithy hilarity, January 24, 2003
By A Customer
This review is from: The Satanic Nurses: And Other Literary Parodies (Hardcover)
This is the stuff your English teacher never told you about.
Miller has put together a fine collection of satires. He's not only well read, but well versed in The Marx Brothers, Mad Magazine, Beyond the Fringe, Monty Python, and Jackass.
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2 of 4 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars Extremely modern comedy, October 6, 2003
By 
Bruce P. Barten (Saint Paul, Minnesota, U.S.A.) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
This review is from: The Satanic Nurses: And Other Literary Parodies (Hardcover)
Some people think it is fun to do a parody of a song, but this book extends comedy to make fun of literary personalities for more than half a century. I have fond memories of being in the presence of three of the authors mentioned in this book, usually for readings from a book that I had not read. Just knowing that such people exist is part of the omniscience of our journalistic age, but I have read books by more than a dozen, most of which were pretty funny. Comedy skits are becoming a fundamental part of the way in which many people develop an understanding of the world. At the cutting edge, the raw material which the world provides is more mysterious than the nature of jokes. Entertainment values can skewer select lives in ways that are most amusing when the punishment is self-inflicted, and education can become an effort to addict people to reading with this kind of expectation. My life is as prone to this addiction as any, with several movies adding to the knowledge that I have of a few more creative efforts. Comedy is a habit that has become widely admired as the nature of reality has become so skewed that a major reason everybody is not equal has to be because we know different jokes. Parody is a pretense which allows J. B. Miller to make obvious how difficult any effort to produce a meaningful reflection of our times became in a century which followed the great minds, Freud and Jung, joking about polymorphous perversity.

You ought to be curious about what is in this book, if you have any appreciation for how funny people's thinking has been lately, but you can't depend on anything that it says because the disclaimer on the page before the Contents says: "Don't believe a word of it." With 44 selections in the 235 numbered pages, at an average of 5 pages per author sampled, selected, folded. spindled, or mutilated, which were preceded by a ten-page introduction dated May 2002, in which the satirist claims he was nine when he pocketed pages from Virginia Wolff's journal dated 1936, which could mean J. B. Miller was born before 1928, and might have been 74 when he produced these reflections on "these ink-stained wretches" (p. xi) who supposedly "entrusted these pieces to me on the understanding that I would never share them with anyone. So here they are." (p. xii).

Was rock funny? In the "Rabbit Rocks" by John Updike, Harry Angstrom is in a man band, leaping and tripping on a speaker cable, falling off the stage for a compound fracture of his right leg. Janice tells him, "You're a joke. They're calling it Lame Rock." (p. 100). Then in the List of Works by Joyce Carol Oates, there's "I'm a Believer: Musings on the Monkees." (p. 112). That's more like a reminder than a joke, coming after "Whodathunkit (I did)" (p. 111).

People don't always plan to get old, but "Harry Potter and the Rolling Stone" by J. K. Rowling describes Keith as something worse: "The heap coughed and then closed its eyes. Harry assumed it had gone back to sleep." (p. 223). The theme is how quickly things get old in this culture. "Even Harry was getting a little long in the tooth for the kids these days; every six months they were on to a new action figure or boy band. He was thinking of retiring himself--after all, who wanted a nineteen-year-old boy wizard?" (p. 225).

There is something great about freedom: a culture which allows so much to be going on that none of it fits together. The ideal moment in the book, THE SATANIC NURSES, for me, was in a set of rules by Norman Mailer on meeting women, designed to avoid the problems he had, and learning from his mistakes. Try to picture the dating scene from Norman Mailer's point of view: "How was I to know? I had two tickets to the Timothy McVeigh Lethal Injection, which the press had made out to seem like the hottest event in town." (p. 32). This did not turn out to be a great date for Norman Mailer, however much it reminds me of the old-fashioned procedure by which someone might be pictured dancing upon the air in the great poem by Oscar Wilde, "The Ballad of Reading Gaol." The wit in this book is like the wry verse from this poem by Wilde:

It is sweet to dance to violins
When Love and Life are fair :
To dance to flutes, to dance to lutes
Is delicate and rare :
But it is not sweet with nimble feet
To dance upon the air !

The J. R. R. Tolkien parody, "Lord of the Strings," has a brilliant idea about string which was magic, so when a string was tied around Balbot Biggins' finger, "he found that he was able to remember things." (p. 38). Evil Knitting Needles and The Return of the Yarn finally result in a "(Big battle with string.)" (p. 39).

The song parody in this book, "penned by an evidently irate Cole Porter," (p. 40), reversed the idea of the famous song, "You're the Top." Typical ideas:

"You're a fiend
I'd say more but it'd be obscene." (p. 41).

That idea might be quite common, now, as everything becomes more uninhibited. The wit is in being able to say things that take some thinking to figure out what it sounds like, not just how it looks. "You're an ist that's Fash" (p. 41). In the song, it might be twisted around like that so it would rhyme with "You're the stock market crash," but I suspect there is a deeper meaning. Normally, it would not be polite to say some of the things in this song, or this book. I shouldn't even tell you what line rhymes with "A stupid joker." (p. 42).

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Inside This Book (learn more)
First Sentence:
The mornings were thin and dry and the purple sky hung low off the green hills. Read the first page
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satanic nurses
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New York, Jack Flash, Philip Roth, Jonathan Franzen, Harry Truman, Martin Amis, Rush Limbaugh, Sister Jude, George Clooney, Golden Age, Audrey Hepburn, Barbra Streisand, Brooks Brothers, Charlie Rose, Demented Sheep Disease, Jean Harlow, Monsieur Fang, Napa Valley, Nobel Prize, Nombray Club, Other Observations, Southeast London, Toyota Celica, Trans Life, William Tell
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