Amazon.com: Satisfaction: Women, Sex, and the Quest for Intimacy (9781400064526): Anita Clayton, Robin Cantor-Cooke: Books

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Satisfaction: Women, Sex, and the Quest for Intimacy [Hardcover]

Anita Clayton (Author), Robin Cantor-Cooke (Author)
3.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (2 customer reviews)


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Book Description

January 9, 2007
Why are so many women dissatisfied with their sex lives?

Something is missing from their intimate encounters: either they’re not interested in sex anymore, or they are interested but can’t get aroused, or they can get aroused but have neither the desire nor the energy to follow through. Their relationships are suffering. Many women find themselves wondering what’s wrong with them.

If you’re a woman and any of this sounds familiar, Dr. Anita H. Clayton wants you to know that there’s nothing wrong with youwhat’s wrong is the ridiculous fantasies you’ve been sold about sex, and the unrealistic expectations you cling to. We all want to make love the way they do in the movies, where the woman swoons with desire before the man even gets near her and, once he does, gasps, collapses, and hurtles headlong into orgasm in twenty seconds tops. Now, how often does that happen in real life? Not very–because in real life it takes at least that long to get your panty hose off, not to mention locking the door locked so the kids don’t barge in.

In this irreverent and revolutionary volume, Dr. Clayton lays bare hidden facets of female sexuality that are rooted in the psyche and can catapult a woman either into a cathartic bout of ecstasy or against the headboard into yet another disappointment. Through compelling case histories she explores why many women would rather put up with unsatisfying sex than tell their lovers how to please them; how buried feelings about childbearing can affect a woman’s erotic potential; and why an orgasm you have during intercourse is no more “real” or legitimate than one you achieve through other means. Dr. Clayton also shines a light on sexual attitudes that have a dramatic impact on young girls and teens, and details how motherhood and menopause may affect but need not diminish a woman’s capacity for sexual pleasure.

Dr. Clayton believes that women should have high expectations for their sex lives, but that these expectations should come from visceral, intimate knowledge of ourselves–what is normal for us and what feels good to us. She wants you to consider and eventually own the concept of yourself as every bit as sexual as a sex symbol. Indeed, the only person who should symbolize sex for you is you.

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Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Claiming that millions of American women in all ethnic, cultural and economic groups are dissatisfied with their sex lives, psychiatrist Clayton urges readers to "min[e] the vein of gold that is your sexual self." Patient case studies include a thrice-divorced woman whose fear of abandonment plunges her into affairs with bad guys when she's married to good ones, and a lesbian whose sexual attraction to a straight, married colleague is symptomatic of intimacy problems stemming from abandonment by her mother. Aided by freelance writer Cantor-Cooke, Clayton also demonstrates how a doctoral student worked out an Oedipal conflict through her affair with an older professor who eventually threw her over for his wife, a Chinese dissident finally allowed to emigrate to the U.S., and how a college student who, claiming she was unaware that she had been pregnant, left her newborn to die of exposure in a toilet was unprepared for a sexual relationship because her identity was bound up in her Catholic upbringing. Although much of Clayton's relationship advice is sound, it's also familiar and readily available in countless other volumes, and Clayton casts too wide a net as she ranges from medical disorders that cause sexual dysfunction to women's attitudes toward pregnancy and sex. (Jan. 9)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

About the Author

Anita H. Clayton, M.D., is the David C. Wilson Professor of Psychiatry in the Department of Psychiatric Medicine at the University of Virginia and holds a secondary faculty appointment as professor of clinical obstetrics and gynecology. She has chaired or served on twenty-five academic committees. Dr. Clayton is also a consulting editor for the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy and writes a bimonthly column for Primary Psychiatry. She has been featured in numerous publications, including The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, Psychiatric Times, and Ladies Home Journal. She is a wife and mother and lives just outside of Charlottesville, Virginia.


Robin Cantor-Cooke has worked as a writer, editor, and producer on more than forty books and tape programs. She is an adjunct instructor at the College of William and Mary and lives with her husband and two sons in Williamsburg, Virginia.

Product Details

  • Hardcover: 272 pages
  • Publisher: Ballantine Books (January 9, 2007)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 140006452X
  • ISBN-13: 978-1400064526
  • Product Dimensions: 9.6 x 6.3 x 1 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1 pounds
  • Average Customer Review: 3.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (2 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,442,278 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Average Customer Review
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

20 of 20 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars Case studies, not fact, February 19, 2007
By 
Natalie Rantanen (San Francisco, CA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
This review is from: Satisfaction: Women, Sex, and the Quest for Intimacy (Hardcover)
At first, i was a bit dissapointed with this book. I was expecting some good and hard facts and some new data regarding the American Woman's sex life (and her dissatisfaction with it). This was unfortuantely not that book. But for what it actually is, it does it well. The book is set up into topical sections that are common road blocks to better sex an intimacy. The topics range from prior abuse, to shame, to dealing with a childs budding sexuality, to sex after kids. Every age group of women will find soemthing to enjoy. Even the parts that were not currently relevant to me (i.e. the child rearing bits) were still a good read. I also applaud the author for having the scope of vision to include every life step for a woman, not just hot 20-something sex. Of special note is the chapter on finding the patterns in your attraction-in other words how to stop liking the jerk. A needed bit of advice.

The books conculsions are not scientific, yet the do ring true. At the end of each series of case studies there is a check list to help the reader take charge of failed intimacy and relationships.
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6 of 7 people found the following review helpful:
2.0 out of 5 stars Dissatisfied, October 19, 2007
This review is from: Satisfaction: Women, Sex, and the Quest for Intimacy (Hardcover)
I have to say that I am disappointed with this book. Most of the information were case studies and I felt that there was no real information that could be helpful. I felt that the author was trying to give examples of other women with problems in the hope that her readers would say, "Hey, that sounds like me!" However, there was little information about how to deal with that type of problem and I came away with the feeling that maybe I should see a psychiatrist.

With that said, I would recommend this book to anybody who is looking for examples of how therapy can help overcome sexual problems, but not as an insightful, self-help guide to sex.
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