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Saucerers and Gondoliers (Ant and Cleo Book 1) [Kindle Edition]

Dominic Green
3.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (22 customer reviews)

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Book Description

Flying saucers do not land in country parks. They are not piloted by Englishmen. They do not bear nameplates saying "HAWKER SIDDELEY AVIATION." And they are never, ever filled with smuggled catering packs of Monster Munch.

Britain has had a top secret colony in space for decades. Unfortunately, the colony has grown tired of being run by the mother country - and the mother country has decided it's time to send in the troops. Between these two sides are Anthony Stevens and Cleopatra Shakespeare, abducted from England and hurled into a war between Britain, America, and the newly, fiercely independent United States of the Zodiac.

Where is the mysterious hidden colony of Gondolin? How did the United States of America come to have interstellar spacecraft in the 1950s? And who or what is Truman J. Slughound the Third? Find out in a story guaranteed to contain colour-changing aliens, Godless communists from Altair, rednecks from Barnard's Star, space fighters, rocket pistols, death by ecstasy, very bad hair, and more explosions than you can shake a stick at.

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Product Details

  • File Size: 620 KB
  • Print Length: 224 pages
  • Sold by: Amazon Digital Services, Inc.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B005OD71EQ
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Lending: Not Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #19,871 Free in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Free in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
12 of 12 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Campy, Funny, and Fun December 12, 2011
What kind of novel is it? Well it's sort of satire science fiction ... erm ... it's political commentar... er, that's not really right either ... how about this: there are aliens, and the book is an absolute riot. The dialogue is great, the descriptions are droll and witty. Here's an example:

There's only two sorts of people who wear jumpers, coats and ties," said Ant under his breath.

"Racetrack tic tac men and policemen. Leg it."

They legged it.

Unfortunately, he legged it after them.
There are one or two places where it wears a bit thin, but I found myself chuckling on pretty much every "page." The two main characters, Ant and Cleo, are well developed, heartwarming, cocky teenagers that somehow manage to stow away on an Alien craft (even getting their chance to vomit in zero gravity!) Their shenanigans get them involved in an interplanetary cold-war type conflict.

A few notes. One, the book is by a British author. There were a few slang passages that I had to really think through, but it isn't incomprehensible by any means. Two, being British, it sometimes pokes fun at Americans. If you are militantly patriotic and can't take a joke, perhaps you should, you know, not read it. If you can take a joke and enjoy a discworld type humor, only from a sci-fi angle, you should definitely grab this one.

Overall Rating: Four Stars. If you are into campy, quirky dry humor - or if you have a secret desire to send all of the rednecks to the moon - I recommend this book as an excellent read.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars A truly odd story October 17, 2012
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Okay imagine a universe where Rednecks, British and Commies have been living in deep space for decades. Now imagine that things really haven't advanced much during that time. Now imagine two normal kids from England who are kidnapped from their planet and are then forced to deal with this insanity. That's pretty much this book. I mean any book where a Furby becomes the commander of the KGB has be good right? There is not much else I can say about this book without giving away the laughs, so just take my word for it and read it. You will love it!
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Droll and really FUNNY! May 31, 2013
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Title pretty much says it all. This is a space opera in the campiest manner. Very sarcastic, rollicking and just plain fun. The characterizations of the supporting characters were intentionally cartoonish and lowbrow. There are a few holes... but wow, I really quite enjoyed this book. If you love MST3K and think Plan 9 was hysterical... you will really enjoy this book. If you're uncomfortable with lampoon style dry sarcastic humour, maybe it won't be your cup of tea...

I enjoyed this book a lot. Definitely what I needed to break up my exam revision! Thank you and kudos to the author. I will be picking up his other offerings (and it's not every day that I can say that).


PS I really want to read the further adventures of Truman J. Slughound!! If I ever won the lottery (a vanishingly unlikely prospect since I don't PLAY the lottery)... I would definitely attempt to toss huge wads of cash at Dominic Green to write T.J. Slughound stories to order!
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars An enjoyable, irreverent joyride through space May 30, 2012
Note: This review is my opinion, and it is skewed to my likes and preferences

I picked this up to read simply because I was between books for my tablet...I will say I enjoyed it. NOT due to it being good SciFi, because it isn't. It enjoyed it because it was fun to read due to how bizarre it was. It has been many years since I read Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy; this book reminded me of that type of bizarre.

Most of the humor, sarcasm and satire will be lost of the youth of today. Green has no problem making fun of red necks, UFOs, communists, British, Americans, Slavery - you name it. All with the typical humor you would expect of the British.

None of the "science" makes sense, so if you are into logical SciFi don't read this. None of the planets are realistic, but who cares. Green he even made a joke that no one understood how the alien engines worked in the book.

Characters: Ant and Chloe are two fourteen year olds from England - the adventure revolves around them.

Story: They are "kidnapped" and taken aboard a flying saucer where one misadventure after another befalls them.
The ending was a bit abrupt, and could have been done a bit better - but was still fun reading.
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3 of 4 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars Cardboard characters March 25, 2012
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Ant and Cleo are well-developed, interesting characters. But most of the others, such as the Americans at the beginning of the book, are one-dimensional offensive stereotypes. It seems to cross the line between satire and outright hate of other countries, since as readers we're trained to read satire as a commentary on modern society, regardless of whether that was the author's intention. It would be as if all Germans were portrayed as Nazis. Even people who are not super-patriotic may find that troublesome. Perhaps it gets better as the book goes on, but I admittedly stopped reading early. I had mixed feelings because the author does have skill with words and parts of the book are truly funny. Two suggestions to the author, make us care about other characters than the central ones, and if the book is going to be sold on a global platform, think of ways to engage global customers rather than potentially turn them away.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
2.0 out of 5 stars a bit like Harry Potter in space
OK light reading, a bit like Harry Potter in space.
Published 24 days ago by Bill Hoogendoorn
4.0 out of 5 stars Funny and unique!
I love the characters in this story - especially Ant. Of course since that is what we call our son - I would naturally fall in love with him. Read more
Published 1 month ago by The Stuff of Success
5.0 out of 5 stars I'm in love
I'm a lost soul without a spaceship to call my own. If only Ant and Cleo could pick up hitchhikers from the US.
Published 1 month ago by Scott GRoves
5.0 out of 5 stars Hilarious! Thrilling! Magnificent! Bloody well wizard!
After reading three of the Ant and Cleo books, I must say that each reads like the ill-gotten love child of Terry Pratchett, Jasper fford, and “The Bobsey Twins Nuke the Moon”. Read more
Published 3 months ago by Sherwin Cogan
4.0 out of 5 stars fun futuristic read
A thoroughly enjoyable cosmic comedy, with interesting characters and nonstop action. I'm looking forward to reading the rest of the series
Published 5 months ago by edward h wisener 111
1.0 out of 5 stars Hackneyed
I got past the halfway point of this novel, but finally had to give up. I couldn't take anymore of the cardboard characters and their clichéd dialog. Read more
Published 5 months ago by Colin
3.0 out of 5 stars fair
A Fair book. geared more towards middlle school aged kids. I think it would appeal to both girls and boys.
Published 5 months ago by Sasquatch
1.0 out of 5 stars Too silly
I used to write Murder Mystery Weekends for groups of amateur actors and I found it to be really really easy. Read more
Published 6 months ago by Anonymouse
4.0 out of 5 stars Recommended
Loved it. Teenage adventures of British, Russian, and space-faring kids that meet aliens, nazis and the like. All books of the series are entertaining and non-repetitive. Read more
Published 9 months ago by Illya Tietzel
4.0 out of 5 stars first inthe series to read
First time read, found it easy to get into and the story flowed easily, simple names made for easy remembering who why what was happening to who, nice touch of humour.
Published 11 months ago by S.M.GILL
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