Customer Reviews

Save Me - Theatrical Cover

5 star:		(23)
4 star:		(6)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

I literally just got back from seeing this movie not more than fifteen minutes ago at a local film festival; the fact that my first order of business is to write a review is a testament to how much it impressed me. I heard it mentioned only in passing some time ago and decided to look into it, and since the showing happened to be on a day when I had little else to do, I thought, well, why not? Good choice on my part.

I confess: I thought that I knew what to expect from this film. I mean, it's about a misguided gay man being sent to a Christian reformation program to cure him of his "sexual brokenness." Clearly lots of horrible things were going to happen! However, I was very much surprised for the better. I laughed, I found myself with watery eyes, and the audience even collectively gasped at one point. There are no "bad" people in this movie. Each character is weighed fairly and fleshed out into real, believable, understandable human beings, and I sympathized with each of them in a different way. And even though the film opens with contrasting images of a sex scene and an evangelical church congregation singing a hymn, this movie is by no means about gratuitous sex or pitching ideologies against one another with the aim of making one side look terrible.

I would have appreciated more attention being given to Mark's actual transformation inside "Genesis House"--the transition from him as a confrontational, unstable wreck to a well-manned and well-groomed member of the group happens abruptly and largely without explanation--but the film could only contain so much, and the great attention that was given to the exploration of human interaction and relationships made up for it.

"Save Me" has claimed a very early spot on my Wish List. I can't wait for it to be released.

Save Me was the best film I have seen thus far dealing with ex-gay ministries. Having spent five years in therapy to `become straight' as well as working with two different ex-gay therapy groups, the movie spoke to me on a very personal level. My next step was to go to a place like Genesis house. It was a step I never took, and am so thankful that God allowed me to skip that particular event and instead let me begin my journey to who I am today: a healthy gay man, who loves who he is, loves his long-term, monogamous boyfriend, and is very happy with his life. Save Me, I felt, was a very realistic portrayal of those in the ex-gay ministries, both as clients and as founders/leaders of the programs. The gay men were believable and their stories valid and relatable. However, the true star of the show was Judith Light's character, the woman leading Genesis House. What I appreciated the most was how the film truly respected both sides of this issue and the people involved in it. From my experience, and I know there are others that had much worse than I, the leaders of the ex-gay ministries were not evil or filled with hate. They were so very much the opposite, people who genuinely loved the gay men and women they worked with, continuously giving of themselves in order to show us love, who's only genuine desire was to help us go to Heaven and live in God's love. And, like all of us, they were broken as well. Save Me did a beautiful job showing the love and the pain on all sides. As I sat watching the film, at times I was paralyzed by the memories that came back to me from my experience, as well as by thankfulness that God allowed me to avoid certain steps that I nearly took, and let me simply find His love and His acceptance as a gay man, instead of staying in such a state of eternal torment and struggle.

Easily one of the best gay-themed films of the last 5 years. The film does a remarkable job of telling the story of Christianity and homosexuality and the intricate, often destructive dance between the two, but does so with subtle and thoughtful care. Not a bad actor in the film, the film quality is exceptional, and the writing is both brilliant and well-interpreted. It has a clean, spare, lucid feel that helps it transcend the usual shouting and finger-pointing done around the topic of "ex-gays" and people that purport to help gays and lesbians become straight. This is worth seeing regardless of your belief or perspective on this topic.

Ironically, I watched this film on the same day that the American Psychological Association declared that mental health professionals should not tell gay clients they can become straight through therapy or other treatments. I'll admit to being fired up on the subject, and expecting "Save Me" to be a scathing indictment of the whole gay-to-straight movement. (I mean, the DVD box cover art makes quite the statement...)

Much to my surprise and pleasure, it isn't. In fact, there are no real "bad guys" in the film...only people acting on what they feel is right and trying to do their best, no matter how misguided their feelings and motives are.

The story is this: After his wanton drug abuse spins out of control (and his refusal to stay at a county hospital), openly-gay Mark (Chad Allen) winds up at Genesis House, a retreat where men learn to ignore their gay impulses and lead a straight life by finding God and Jesus. Although they pepper every other sentence with expressions like "God be praised" and "in the name of our lord, Jesus Christ", the husband/wife team who run the place, Gayle (Judith Light) and Ted (Stephen Lang) don't come across like cultists or fanatics. They just truly believe that, if you follow God's teachings, you can make your life better... and better to them means straight. They don't intend to "cure" anyone; they just feel that gay/straight is a choice and, with enough will, you can be happy on the "proper" side of the fence if you just work hard at it and love God enough.

Also at the house is Scott (Robert Gant), who is desperately trying to become a straight man to gain the love and respect of his dying father. As Mark dries out, he and Scott form a very natural bond which leads to stronger feelings. This is much to the dismay of Gayle, who does her best to intervene. But is her motivation to do so really in the best interests of the two men, or for something more selfish?

Okay, most of the ultra-religious out there are going to hate this movie because it dares to even suggest that love is God and that it trumps all. Me, I thought for a film that could be accused of having a bit of an agenda, it did a beautiful job of representing both sides of the issue. The fact of the matter is that Mark becomes a far better person after his time at Genesis House. He believes it's because he's found Christ, but it's really because he's found love... not only romantic love with Scott, but also a strong, caring, parental love from Gayle and Ted.

Strong acting rules this film. Gant and Light anchor the film with fiery, intense, conflicted performances. Stephen Lang offers up depth and thoughfulness in what could have been a throwaway role. I also really liked Robert Baker as Lester, Mark's roommate at Genesis... he's superb as the self-loathing big guy who sets many of the wheels of the story into motion.

In the end, I deduct a star for the tinny soundtrack and for the fact that Mark's recovery from his addictions is somewhat glossed over. Other than that, this is a powerful yet gentle film with a tremendous message. And that message is conveyed with a fairness and consideration usually not found in this genre.

I had read a review of the movie in one of the local Atlanta gay magazines early last year, which gave it a really good review. I had been waiting and waiting for it to be released in one of the local theatres so I could check it out, since I also really like Chad Allen and Robert Gant. Finally, it came here a couple of months ago and I went and saw it. I was definately not dissapointed! You can read some of the other reviews or the plot summary up top to see what the movie is about. I just wanted to say how wonderful the movie really is and what a terriffic job Chad and Robert (along with Judith Light and the rest of the cast) did. It was not overly dramatic or sappy, and the acting was totally professional, not over the top or amateurish like could be the case with a lower budget movie like this. The story itself was very well done and the pacing was just right- before I knew it, it was over.

I also read in the initial review that Allen and Gant have started thier own production company. If this is an example of what they plan on doing, I can't wait to see the next movie. I have enjoyed both of thier work for a while and am very glad they made the decision they did to come out. Do yourself a favor- rent or buy this when it comes out. It'll be worth it!

((Here is my approach to obtaining/viewing/reviewing Gay tales in film form. Simply, it's seeking the holy grail of that genre, or looking for the "Addictive Film"---that movie one returns to time and again). Selection/purchase is based mainly on finding new releases by favorite directors/screenwriters and/or your comments/reviews at major online film sales or review sites. Sometimes I feel correctly steered by you (the "Keepers" filling my DVD shelves), other times mislead, occasionally badly (the "Throwaways"----and I do toss 'em). Rarely, I come across the "Addictive," those watchable every couple of months or so.))

This is NOT a gay romance, or gay love story (even though there was a kiss and some meaningful / longing looks). I never developed a feeling I was seeing true romantic love. However, I was often noting something that purported to be religious love. So, no, you're not going to see any memorably well-done love scenes such as witnessed in the movie, "Shelter" (definitely need more films like that one). Instead, this is a "Message Film".....a tale of persons / organizations who aim to remold who people are----to remake people's innermost selves. BUT.......as a viewer you should remain aware that, in the end, such a goal is not going to be successful. Still, there will be cases / instances of supposedly successful personality change presented in order to convince us otherwise (just know that if personality alterations are brought about, they will be surface ones only).

Through the way this film has been set up, and especially in its ending, it is almost as though we are being expected to just accept that a deep romantic love was / had been taking place. Well, I'm sorry; I didn't sense it happening between characters, Mark and Scott. Lips meeting, dancing with one another, building bird houses together are not enough for me; they are all just surface acts. The two actors filling these roles weren't able to produce that "magic"......that "whatever-it-is" which I was given in the film, "Shelter." In that movie, I knew I had watched love begin and grow. (Interesting then, isn't it, that "Shelter" contains the heterosexual leads and "Save Me" the gay ones). Admittedly, I do recognize that perhaps most of "Save Me" was not written / planned to focus on a "couple" but, rather, was aimed at exposing overzealousness by some in the religious community and their need to "reform" homosexuals. Having said this, I'll now step aside and leave commenting on that aspect of this production to filmgoers far more qualified than I.

As to the performers, a subject on which I'm able to comment: Judith Light is near-phenomenal (you'll never, never, ever relate her to that TV "Ugly Betty" role). Here, before your very eyes, she BECOMES the message of this film. No one else can touch her. We can see Chad Allen trying, as we watch him with her in their one-on-one scenes. Sitting together in a truck at one point, we can almost see his efforts to absorb and keep up with what Light is putting out there----a special ability of hers that not all actors possess. Yet, in his own way, Allen does acquit himself quite well in this film. Then.....there's Robert Gant: I've followed much of Bobby's performing, from his 2002 "Providence" (TV) performance, on up to today. My best impression / description of his acting style is that it's a "tentative" one; he's tentative, subdued. It's like you're always waiting for him to break out----but he almost never take you to that point. In the end, that's frustrating for an audience. And yet.......few actors project "sincerity" in a character any better than Gant does. In one last point about another longtime thesp, Stephen Lang comes across very admirably.......and when you're able to do that when playing against Light's extraordinary performance, you really are accomplishing something.

To say that this is not a good film, I cannot do. But I expected more.........I hoped for more. (This will not make it to my "Addictive" DVD shelves).

****

This film deals with the vicious cycle created by religion toward homosexuality, in this case, centering around gay men. The cycle of hatred and rejection which is imposed on gays in general, but mostly on gay children, by parents and society usually because of a religious influence. These children then internalize this hatred and rejection toward themselves and others who are gay, which in turn causes self-destructive attitudes. Religion creates a "straw man", as we see in this movie. Religion creates the problem in order to become the "answer" to the problem and to "solve" it. Religion then becomes substantial or meaningful while the reality of being gay (not a choice) is diminished. Religion insists there is a problem that must be solved, then exploits the minds of others to reject homosexuality, which keeps the cycle going. Believing what religion tells them, parents reject, even hate, their own children to the point of casting them out on the street. Religion then creates the answer, which is to "love and accept" these "sinners" and cause them to love themselves, while all the while demanding that they reject who they really are and to accept something that is obscure, enigmatic and even ludicrous. This causes religion to seem legitimate, important and necessary, even noble, while at the same time being the very cause of the problem. I tend to enjoy gay films that are not so serious, more romantic and funny. I would say that this is an important film, one that had to be made for our times. I would recommend it to parents or to anyone who is struggling with accepting a gay child for who they really are. If the choice comes down to choosing between your child and religion, I would choose the one you can see, hear, feel, and hold close to your heart... really.

I remember speaking with a local and respected politician who once said to me he was "fundamental in regards to faith" and that there was nothing wrong with believing in his principles so strongly. I wondered whether `fundamentalism' had indeed become a dirty word, and whether this was deserved or not, as I believed much the same. I too was, and to a large extent still am, fundamental about my beliefs.

"Save Me" tries desperately hard not to antagonise, and attempts in so far as is possible to bridge the divide between two extreme schools of thought. Ultimately one must choose a side as does the film, and in doing so cannot avoid the consequences of such a polarised subject. For me the naive sincerity of this church (and I believe they have some genuine concern and affection for gay men and women) ultimately undermines the depths of the hurt, alienation and desperation felt by many a gay man and women both spiritually and emotionally. The church just do not know, and though it believes it is the custodian of truth, it's knowledge is but a shadow.

Judith Light as the `mother' and `minister' of Genesis Ministries, attempts to relive her life and failure through the lives of young gay men she sees as broken and in need of salvation. The perverse irony is that she herself has lost her own gay son to suicide, after having thrown him out of the family home after confiding in her about being gay. For me the most debilitating and impotent tragedy of this film is that rather than acknowledge her part in his death, she continues to see his homosexuality as the cause of his death. Her words as she recounts the story to (Chad Allan) still resonate with me: "The day I told him to leave, was the last time I saw my son".

Ask any son who has been torn from his home, or the love of his mother (or any parent for that matter) of the impact of such an act, and a desperate story will emerge. The fact that the cause of that hurt is another person's religious conviction is for me an unacceptable denial that flies in the face of both religious principle and belief. Like many who fundamentally believe, Judith Light's character is of the opinion that if they show any form of compromise emotionally, physically or relgiously, that such would undermine their own salvation. For this reason they are stoic in belief, cold in argument, and removed from love.

Perhaps compromise is the wrong word, and instead one should use `apology'. I for one believe a great apology is due to many a gay man and women, especially those who have in their lives been subject to both a direct and indirect faith based hate, founded on the illusion of principle.

This is one of Judith Light's best portrayals, and whilst I was never a fan of her before, I am certainly one who respects her acting skills now. Ultimately this is a difficult subject matter to tackle, and the sea of emotion that results is often difficult to navigate. This is true of the story and one's own religious convictions, particularly for those that have found their own lives and stories entwined in such. For me this film addresses numerous `taboo' subjects, in that it portrays the reality that many gay men and women are spiritual and indeed broken. Furthermore, that brokenness has its root in the human failings of good men and women, whose ability to parent has been diminished, undermined and invalidated by a unbending and ill conceived religious belief. Rather than take ownership of their inheritance and failings, they divert attention away from themselves and their actions onto the internal struggles of their sons and daughters. Many of whom consider themselves to be Christian, and try in the best way they are able to follow Christ in a world that shows little sympathy for either their own internal war or their affections and loves.

The that fellow believers would participate in such a crass, naive injustice in the lives of others, is for me a `fundamental' betrayal of truth. In many instances the characters portrayed in this film (shown in a series of counselling sessions, where the audience is an unknown participant) reveal that their `silence is their self-defence,' and how the horror of loosing those they love is for them more important than finding themselves.
Chad Allan like Judith Light has a strong presence in this film, although his character at times frustrates you. Ultimately the entire subject matter frustrates, and this is why the film works for me. It's an honest attempt at dialogue, whilst it tries to reconcile the Christian right with the gay and lesbian community. There is still a long way to go, and in the interim far too many men and women suffer the indignity of such treatment, isolation and death (both emotional and at times physical).

A good film, which tackles a subject matter many dare not address. Well worth the effort and expense. The TV series "Prayers for Bobby" in which the same subject matter is addressed, and the 'repentance' of a mother (Sigorney Weaver)so elegantly portrayed, is another film to watch. For those that are interested, the book written by Bobby's mother on which the TV series is based, is profound and moving apology to her son.

I was one of the few who not only got to see the very first showing of Save Me,in LA,But we also got to meet all the actors that starred in Save Me,with the exception of Steven Lang,he had to stay in NY. We have seen Steven Lang on sevral episodes of Law & Order and ,is a wonderful actor. The film was awesome!! It very much reminded me of when I came out.I will say it very much played with my strings. Very Dramatic,but one of the best endings ever! I would like to say thank you to Kirkland tibbles for the invite and all the pictures afterwards! I truly love Judith Light,she has always been one of my long time favorites.She really brought the flm to life and with her touch,it allowed everyone to see what is truly like to struggle between accepting that your son is Homosexual and loving him for who and what he is,or turning your back on him and leaving him alone in this big world to defend for himself,with no support what so ever. It not only left you in the end feeling extremely happy for them both,but also feeling sorry for Judith,because it made her realize what she did was not only wrong,but that there was no going back and saying I am sorry,because he was there no more! It will not only be a test to all who watch it,but it will leave you seriously thinking,could I ever treat my son or daughter this way and be able to live with my decision for the rest of my life? It was a well thought out movie,with alot of hard work from the entire cast.But also contained a message for all those heterosexual parents that may be dealing with this same situation?Afterwards it left me not only thankful that I have a loving,caring and excepting family,but wanting to help all those who are maybe just coming out and need someone to confine in or someone to just listen.I am there.....

I love Chad Allen and he is at his best in this film about a young gay man, addicted to drugs and suicidal, who is sent to a group home, "Genesis House," which specializes in treating gay men and, along with treating their addiction issues, tries to get them to go "straight," primarily with religious doctrine.

Judith Light is oustanding and remarkable as the founder of Genesis House, it's soul and backbone, constantly full of doctrinal advice for every situation, always on the alert for threats. That she is actually genuine and well-meaning (and even loving) in her continuous espousal of homophobia makes this film more effective and more complex by magnitudes of order.

Each charcter is fully portrayed with both their darker and better sides, and nobody is particularly villainous, even if their actions have dire consequences for the people they purport to be protecting.

Robert Gant is also outstanding, as usual, and he and Chad Allen find themselves seeing in each other what they are forbidden, at Genesis House, to see, and therein lies the primary conflict.

This is an affecting and moving film that is both challenging and a joy to see. I don't think anybody should miss it; it's not a light, funny film to entertain you as much as it's a thoughtful film that you'll want to discuss and ultimately embrace.