Saving Beauty from the Beast: How to Protect Your Daughter from an Unhealthy Relationship [Hardcover]

Vicki Crompton (Author), Ellen Zelda Kessner (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: March 5, 2003

Contrary to popular wisdom, it is the girls with the highest self-esteem who are most vulnerable to boys who will take over their lives. SAVING BEAUTY FROM THE BEAST is desperately needed advice for parents anxious over their daughters' choice of boyfriends. According to the CDC, one in three girls between the ages of 10 and 18 has been physically assaulted by a boyfriend, but there are other kinds of abuse, including emotional battering, which can be even more pervasive and devastating.

Vicki Crompton brings the most powerful credentials imaginable to this subject: her own 15-year-old daughter, Jenny, was killed by her boyfriend. Crompton and Kessner provide advice on how to broach the subject of harassment and give parents a list of the danger signs for which to be on the alert. Throughout the book are the voices of girls and their parents, as well as the insights of psychologists and threat assessment professionals who discuss prevention strategies and the most effective ways to communicate with a daughter when the last thing she wants is her parents' advice.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

After her teenage daughter was killed by a boyfriend in 1986, Crompton set out to educate the public about teen dating violence. Along the way, she met magazine writer Kessner, whose own daughter had been murdered as an adult. This earnest, impassioned book, a product of their friendship and collaboration, illuminates the problems of dangerous relationships by describing their characteristics, mapping out warning signs of abuse and offering sound advice for parents seeking to empower their daughters. The authors interviewed psychologists, counselors and girls who have had violent boyfriends; the girls' stories, as well as first-person accounts from parents and abusive boyfriends, are woven throughout the text. Many of the stories are heartbreaking: Vasso's boyfriend put her in a coma for six months when he tried to strangle her; the father of Kaisha's child beat her repeatedly and ultimately raped her. Crompton and Kessner are at their best when giving specific guidance to parents, such how to spot boyfriends who are too controlling and telltale changes in girls' behavior, as well as how to help daughters plan safe breakups from violent boys. As social science, the book is weaker. Some of the authors' statements-like the claim that "many" girls are becoming victims of violence "earlier and earlier" in relationships, or that for most teens, abuse is a "dating fact of life"-beg for supporting numbers. But whether or not the phenomenon is on the rise matters little when such abuse exists, and this book serves as both fervent friend and practical coach to parents whose daughters may be facing abuse.
Copyright 2003 Reed Business Information, Inc.

From Library Journal

Crompton offers hard-won advice: her daughter lost her life to an angry boyfriend. There's big interest in this book.
Copyright 2002 Reed Business Information, Inc.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Hardcover: 272 pages
• Publisher: Little, Brown; 1 edition (March 5, 2003)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0316090581
• ISBN-13: 978-0316090582
• Product Dimensions: 8.7 x 5.7 x 0.9 inches
• Shipping Weight: 13.6 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (12 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #116,165 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

8 of 8 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Very helpful book. Wish we bought it sooner., July 31, 2003

By A Customer

Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: Saving Beauty from the Beast: How to Protect Your Daughter from an Unhealthy Relationship (Hardcover)

I recently bought several books on abusive relationships.

My husband (a very picky reader) has read many passages out loud to me from this one.

It is filled with many examples of abusive relationships that are unbelievably similar to what we have seen. We almost feel as if the authors know the young man we are concerned about.

The book is clearly written, provides good details and ideas on how to cope.

Buy this book before your daughter gets involved with an abuser, or at least at the first signs of an abusive relationship. You want to know, as early as possible, what can be going on.

The book is worth many times what it costs..

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A must for every home, April 16, 2003

By 

Dr. David Chamovitz (Tel Aviv , Israel) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Saving Beauty from the Beast: How to Protect Your Daughter from an Unhealthy Relationship (Hardcover)

This book is a classic, a must for every personal family library. It's a page turner, for me a chapter turner, for I leaped from one section to another quickly seeking means for protecting my children. I now feel more acutely sensitized to the problem and better able to get a grip on some of the interventions. The authors are to be congratulated and thanked for improving our competence concerning so frightening a scenario.

5 of 6 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Stop the abuse---read this book, October 25, 2004

By 

Kristin J. Johnson "Three-time published author" (Hilo, Hawaii) - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)    (REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Saving Beauty from the Beast: How to Protect Your Daughter from an Unhealthy Relationship (Hardcover)

In a 2003 "Montel Williams" show on dating violence, Vicki Crompton, co-author of Saving Beauty From The Beast, did more than plug her book, co-written with Ellen Zelda Kessner; she told the highly personal story of her daughter Jenny's murder at the hands of boyfriend Mark Smith, and offered advice to young women and parents torn apart by callous teenage boys, adolescent angst, parent-daughter conflicts, and a culture that, as the book points out, romanticizes forbidden love, taking what you want at any cost, love that hurts, and having a boyfriend.

Crompton, hand-in-hand with parenting author Kessner, has turned her daughter's shattering, unthinkable death into a brilliant, readable book that draws on real teenagers and their parents from all backgrounds, speaking in clear, intelligent voices, articulating the myriad pressures young women today face when involved in a love that hurts. Crompton and Kressner do not make light of peer pressure, or fail to note that the very rich and the very poor of today's youth are the most at risk to become abusers, or shrink from advising parents to "back off" and accept the relationship. The personal safety plan for daughters in abusive relationships, the safety plan for daughters who have left the relationship, the ingenious suggestion of a "code word" signaling danger, are useful tools. The coda of Crompton confronting Mark Smith in prison serves as a poignant reminder and incentive for all parents of teenage girls to read and share this book with their "Beautys."